u/spookyfro

I just got a 2013 Mercedes GLK 350 as my very first car and I'm completely clueless when it comes to cars, so please bear with me! I'm trying to figure out how to get Apple CarPlay in it. I looked it up and saw there's some kind of receiver box I can buy for around $200-250 to connect my phone, but I want to understand what other ways there are to do this. Could I just buy a separate Apple CarPlay screen and stick it right on top of my existing screen? If I do that, how do I make sure I don't lose the backup camera view when I put the car in reverse? Would love to hear any advice or recommendations for a complete beginner!

Hey all! I am looking for some affordable destination ideas for long weekends and holidays flying out of CVG or driving within a 7-8 hour radius. I know it is a long shot for cheap travel these days, but I have been pleasantly surprised to see Frontier running ~$47 round-trip flights to Atlanta. So I am curious if anyone knows of other spots that are consistently easy or cheap to get to from here.
Ideally, I am looking for big cities with plenty to explore or National Parks and areas with great outdoor scenery. Basically, I am looking for anywhere with "a lot to see" that won't break the bank for a 3-day trip.

Has anyone found any go-to spots they always hit up for a quick, budget-friendly getaway? Any tips on reliable flight routes or specific cities worth the drive would be awesome. Thanks!

I moved out of my old apartment in June, and my lease officially ended in early July. Under my state’s law, my landlord has 30 days to return my security deposit, and that deadline is coming up in the next couple of days.
We previously had a small dispute because they were trying to deduct money from my security deposit for damage that was actually caused by the previous tenant. Thankfully, I documented the condition of the apartment when I moved in and emailed them about these issues throughout my tenancy. When they brought up the deductions, I forwarded my original documentation and told them that if they charged me for damage I had already reported, I would be prepared to take the matter to small claims court.
Anywho, they agreed to return my security deposit in full. They have my forwarding address and told me several weeks ago that they would mail my security deposit check. They also said they would provide me with a tracking number, but I still haven’t received either the check or the tracking information. I followed up with them, but they are no longer responding.
What are my options if they fail to return the deposit by the legal deadline?

TL;DR: Love my PhD program and fellowship pay, but absolutely despise the sprawling, relatively unsafe city I had to move to. Terrified I am wasting my 20s here and can't figure out how to build a personal life when I am already planning my exit strategy.

I started my PhD this summer, and while the program itself is amazing, moving to this car-centric city is turning out to be a massive mistake. The transition has been pretty miserable. I came from a major, vibrant city that was a total exception to standard US urban sprawl (it was walkable, full of energy, and so accessible). Moving here has been a massive culture shock. There is zero city feel, minimal diversity, and it is basically endless suburbia where everyone drives everywhere and completely avoids downtown. To make matters worse, the area directly around campus feels sketchy and unsafe, so I can't even comfortably walk around (I know it is very common but still bothersome). My old city had its unsafe areas too. Matter of fact most people would say it is much more unsafe. Sure, but the fun, culture, and walkability totally balanced it out. Throw in some recent personal drama tied to this new city I just moved to, and I am just feeling completely overwhelmed.

I already know I want to move to the West Coast or head back to my old city or to any other major city the second I defend. But that exit strategy is messing with my head. I do not want to rush through my grad program and I know it will be really hard to do so and mostly unrealistic. But I feel like my personal life is going to be on pause for the next five years, and I am terrified I am wasting my 20s in the wrong place. How are you even supposed to date or build meaningful relationships when you’re already hoping to leave once you are done?

The frustrating part is that academically and financially, I hit the jackpot. The research opportunities are amazing, and the department awarded me a extra fellowship, so my pay is exceptionally competitive for a grad student. I am renting a pretty big, affordable house all to myself, which is a level of comfort I couldn't dream of on a West Coast stipend without three roommates or in my city.

So now I am stuck in this weird headspace: I have an incredible setup for my career and financial comfort, but I feel like I panicked, settled, and signed away five years of my life to a city I can't stand.

Has anyone else been in a similar spot? How do you cope with hating your location while loving your program, and how do you approach dating/socializing when you know your time there has an expiration date?

TL;DR: Love my PhD program and fellowship pay, but absolutely despise the sprawling, relatively unsafe city I had to move to. Terrified I am wasting my 20s here and can't figure out how to build a personal life when I am already planning my exit strategy.

I started my PhD this summer, and while the program itself is amazing, moving to this car-centric city is turning out to be a massive mistake. The transition has been pretty miserable. I came from a major, vibrant city that was a total exception to standard US urban sprawl (it was walkable, full of energy, and so accessible). Moving here has been a massive culture shock. There is zero city feel, minimal diversity, and it is basically endless suburbia where everyone drives everywhere and completely avoids downtown. To make matters worse, the area directly around campus feels sketchy and unsafe, so I can't even comfortably walk around (I know it is very common but still bothersome). My old city had its unsafe areas too. Matter of fact most people would say it is much kore unsafe. Sure, but the fun, culture, and walkability totally balanced it out. Throw in some recent personal drama tied to this new city I just moved to, and I am just feeling completely overwhelmed.

I already know I want to move to the West Coast or head back to my old city or to any other major city the second I defend. But that exit strategy is messing with my head. I do not want to rush through my grad program and I know it will be really hard to do so and mostly unrealistic. But I feel like my personal life is going to be on pause for the next five years, and I am terrified I am wasting my 20s in the wrong place. How are you even supposed to date or build meaningful relationships when you’re already hoping to leave once you are done?

The frustrating part is that academically and financially, I hit the jackpot. The research opportunities are amazing, and the department awarded me a extra fellowship, so my pay is exceptionally competitive for a grad student. I am renting a pretty big, affordable house all to myself, which is a level of comfort I couldn't dream of on a West Coast stipend without three roommates or in my city.

So now I am stuck in this weird headspace: I have an incredible setup for my career and financial comfort, but I feel like I panicked, settled, and signed away five years of my life to a city I can't stand.

Has anyone else been in a similar spot? How do you cope with hating your location while loving your program, and how do you approach dating/socializing when you know your time there has an expiration date?

Is it just me, or does anyone else get comments or questions in the lab when you wear makeup or dress up?
Most people in my previous lab did not wear makeup. I wear makeup occasionally, and I am not talking about full glam, just "clean girl" makeup (mascara, neutral lipstick, a bit of highlighter, no foundation or eyeshadow). However, on the days I wear it, people often ask me questions like: “do you have dinner plans tonight?" or "What is the occasion?"
The same thing happens when I wear “nicer” clothes instead of basic t-shirts or casual pants/jeans.
It has made me feel self-conscious. I feel that if I try to brighten up my day with a little makeup or cute earrings, I heavily stand out. I simply like to dress up from time to time because it makes my week feel a bit better and gives me more energy.
I am starting in a new lab soon, and I am considering just wearing my standard makeup on my first day so people get used to it right away and are not surprised later.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you handle it?

I never received my refund. I received a letter stating that I had provided the wrong routing number, so I logged in through ID.me and the IRS website and updated my information. It has now been almost three months, and there have been no further updates.
I have also been trying to reach the office by phone for the past two weeks. I call every day, but each time I am told that due to high call volumes, they are unable to take my call and that I should try again the next day.
The website shows that my new banking information was successfully submitted and says to allow 2-5 days for processing, but I have now been waiting for almost three months. I have also moved to another state since then, so I am concerned that they may decide to mail me a check instead of issuing the refund electronically and that I may not receive it at my new address. I did sign up for mail forwarding, but I am still worried about the possibility of the check being sent to my old address.
Has anyone experienced something similar or know what I should do next? How do I get my refund?

I was at the doctor’s office a couple of months ago, and my period happened to start right as I got there. I asked the nurse for a pad, and she gave me these super thick, wingless ones in a yellow wrapper. The paper backing for the adhesive had little blue and white wings printed on it. Does anyone know what brand these are? I never expected a wingless pad to be that good, and I’m dying to find them!

I’m 23F and looking to buy my first car. My budget is around $4-5k, but I’m also considering buying a $9k car and financing about $5k if that ends up being the smarter option.
Would you recommend buying from a dealership or Facebook Marketplace? Which is generally the safer choice for a first-time buyer?
Also, what are the biggest red flags to watch out for when buying a used car? What questions should I ask a private seller or dealership to avoid getting scammed when buying my first used car? Any advice or things you wish you had known before buying your first car would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

I got a call from No Caller ID from someone claiming to be Sheriff from xyz. They introduced themselves and then asked, “Is this X?” I said no. Then they asked, “Is this Y?” I said no again.
The whole thing felt a little odd. Their English was perfectly fluent, but they spoke in a somewhat unprofessional tone, and it was surprisingly difficult to hear or understand them. I asked them several times to repeat themselves, and they seemed to get annoyed before saying something along the lines of, ma’am I am now hanging up the phone and hung up.
This sounds like a scam to me. I’m new to the area, so I’m surprised they even mentioned a neighboring county, especially since I don’t even live there. The county’s name is also pretty common, so maybe they were just guessing.
The biggest red flag to me is that the call came from “No Caller ID.” Do sheriff’s offices ever legitimately call from blocked numbers, or does this sound like a scam?

I am in my early twenties and looking to buy my first car. I found a used 2020 model for about $9,000. My plan is to put $4,000 down (parents helping) and finance the remaining $5,000.
What surprises me is how quickly the costs add up. Between the monthly loan payment, insurance (which looks like it’ll be at least $200/month), gas, maintenance, registration, and everything else, it starts to feel really expensive.
I’ve looked at cheaper cars in my area, but a lot of them either have rebuilt titles or seem unreliable. It also snows pretty heavily here, so I’ve been advised to get something dependable rather than just buying the cheapest car I can find.
I’m the only student in my program without a car, and I honestly don’t understand how everyone else is able to afford one. But it’s also impossible to navigate around the city without a car because busses don’t really go around the city as much.
Are there ways to get cheaper insurance for a first-time driver? Are there any insurance programs, discounts, or companies I should look into?
For context, I’m in the Midwest (USA).

I recently moved to Cincinnati and am still getting familiar with the area. I just signed up for a library card and was wondering if there are any other local resources, programs, memberships, discounts, or services that I should know about.

I am especially interested in resources that are useful for young adults/students/scientists, but I’d appreciate any recommendations. Thanks in advance!

I couldn't afford a place in a better area, so I rented an apartment in a neighborhood that some people would describe as the "hood." I can not move for a few months because of my lease, but I am hoping to relocate this winter. I am a woman in my mid 20s. I am Middle Eastern and I feel like I stand out here and that’s why I get cat called.

My apartment itself is great and feels secure. My landlord has cameras set up around the property, so I have a 360-degree view of the house, which helps me feel safer. I order most of my food and groceries, watch the cameras when deliveries arrive, and pick things up immediately. One time, something was delivered while I was asleep and sat outside for a little over an hour in the morning, but no one took it (which I think is a good sign?).

That said, the surrounding area has a reputation for being rough, with frequent reports of gunshots nearby (thankfully not on my block). I have had people slow down or stop their cars just to stare at me (I was at the bus stop), and I was also catcalled, approached, and nearly mugged about 1.5 miles from my apartment. Since I do not have a car yet and rely on the bus, it has made me hesitant to leave home unless I absolutely have to.

I have lived in another neighborhood that people might also call the "hood," but it was much more diverse and I blended in more easily. Here, I feel much more noticeable because it is obvious that I am new to the area (I think most resident have been living here for years). I am planning to buy a car as soon as I can so I can avoid public transit and limit unnecessary time outside.

In the meantime, what practical advice would you give for staying as low-key and safe as possible over the next few months?

Also, I have some non-English-speaking friends visiting soon. I am hoping to have a car by then, but I want to make sure they stay safe as well. Any practical advice would be greatly appreciated.

I reached out to a couple of PIs because I am looking for a rotation. I have some research experience (about 2.5 years of lab experience overall, with a little over a year being research-focused). The main thing I haven't done is direct animal work, since my undergraduate school didn't allow students to perform animal procedures unless they were master's or PhD students. We could work with tissues and samples, but not handle the animals themselves.

A few PIs told me they prefer rotation students who already have at least a year of animal work experience because their labs don't train the basics of animal work and would rather take students who can start doing research immediately and mostly independent. I am a bit confused by this. I always thought part of the purpose of a PhD program was to learn new techniques and develop skills you don't already have. Is this normal, or have others run into the same thing? I am a bit stressed over not finding a great fit because I am not familiar with animal work, though I am very interested in learning.

What would be the best way to present myself in the emails inquiring about rotations to make it clear that I lack this experience but am still worth taking as a rotation student if I am willing to learn?

Field - STEM/Bio Sciences

Location - US

Hi everyone! I am a new driver looking for my first car and would really appreciate some advice. I am hoping to find a used car in the $16k-22k range, preferably no older than 5 years and under 100k miles. I was originally looking into a Honda Civic, but I think I need something a little higher since it gets pretty snowy in my area during the winter. Reliability, safety, and reasonable maintenance costs are my main priorities. Any recommendations for models I should look into would be appreciated! Thank you

I was selling some items of mine on Facebook Marketplace and a guy reached out saying he wanted to buy multiple pieces. I was honestly happy because it meant I would have less to worry about selling. For context, I’m a woman in my early 20s and a college student, so I asked my friend to come over while he picked everything up because I was not comfortable having a stranger in my apartment alone, and I also could not move everything downstairs by myself since it was heavy. Fast forward, he changed his mind about part of the purchase, which already felt a little odd. At that point I just wanted the interaction over with, so I completed the sale and moved on. He paid through Zelle (even though I originally said cash only) and actually sent me about 15% more than I asked for. I told him I did not need the extra money, but he insisted. Then literally minutes after leaving, he started messaging me saying I was “very beautiful,” calling me fine, asking to talk, and sending heart emojis. It immediately creeped me out. I marked the item as sold, which archived the chat, but he kept messaging me, so I blocked him.

Now I’m stressed because he knows my phone number (from Zelle) and obviously knows where I live since he picked the item up. I know I probably should have stood my ground about cash only, but I was stressed and honestly just wanted him gone as fast as possible.

Am I overreacting, or should I actually be concerned? What would you do in this situation?