u/straawbunnii

As the title says, my 15 month old daughter is calling my MIL “mama”. She also calls me mama as well. She doesn’t do this for anyone else except me and her and it’s making me so sad. We live with my MIL so my baby sees her pretty much everyday. They of course have formed a bond and my toddler gets excited when she’s here. But lately whenever MIL comes home, my daughter will get all excited and repeatedly say “mama mama mama”. Literally what she does to me too.

I don’t think MIL is telling her that her name is mama because I’m a SAHM so I’m with her pretty much all the time. I’m just so sad and jealous honestly. Is this normal? Has anyone dealt with this? We of course correct her and say “no that’s grandma”. And I get grandma is a harder word. I just wish she would stop calling her mama:(

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

I’m so mad every single morning when I put on my outfit for the day because NOTHING FITS ME ANYMORE. I literally have 12 more weeks to either squeeze into something or wear the same damn thing because it’s the only thing that fits me. And I can’t even go out and buy some maternity clothes BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE. I don’t want to buy online because that’s just too much of a hassle. IM SO FRUSTRATED!!!!! I hate it. Like why can’t I just be one of those cute pregnant moms with the cute outfits ESPECIALLY SINCE ITS SUMMER NOW. GRRR

Ok rant over. I’m just very angry

Today my husband got home before me. I was quite busy today as I was doing my gestational diabetes test and was going to look at an apartment he asked me to look at. I got home around 6 and he was talking to his mom (we live with her). I had to feed my daughter before bedtime since bedtime was 7pm. I fed her and he went to shower and I went to go get my daughter ready for bedtime. This was around 7ish. Once I got out of my daughter’s bedroom, he told me he was hungry and I told him ok but I need to go to the bathroom and shower really fast. See, I’m 28 weeks pregnant and a SAHM so I’m taking care of our daughter all day. I’ve been very constipated lately and he knows that and I finally was able to go to the bathroom. This all probably took 15 minutes

I come downstairs and he’s just now walking in the house with a bag of Wendy’s. He walked past me and I asked what was wrong and he blatantly ignored me until I followed him. He said he was hungry and that there was no food for him since I didn’t go grocery shopping. I told him there was food, he just didn’t want to eat it (fruit, oat bars, he literally could have made himself a pb&j,etc). I even told him his options. He then repeated that he was hungry and tired of waiting and I told him I literally had to put our daughter down for bed and go use the bathroom. Literally didn’t take long. AND he knew his mother was making dinner tonight. He said that those were all excuses and he didn’t want to hear it. So basically he told me he wants me to leave him alone and that he’s working on his budget so he can go grocery shopping for himself and I can go get a job and grocery shop for myself. And that then it’ll be “fair”. I also want to preface, we’re pretty poor rn honestly. We live with my MIL, he got a significant pay cut after his contract ended in the military and we’re literally looking at low income housing. We literally had a talk just yesterday how we need to not get takeout so much because 1. It’s not healthy and 2. The money.

So yeah, AITAH?

Me, my husband and our almost 15 month old daughter have been living in my MIL's house for about 6 months now due to us coming back from the military and wanting to save financially. He ended up getting a low paying job ($18 an hour) with lots of room for promotion. We also have a baby due in August. We're finally able to look for some apartments and found a lower income apartment complex. We've been going through a lot lately because of transition from the military, our unborn baby having kidney problems and just living with MIL is a lot. So pretty much everyone in our lives know about all this.

When my MIL and FIL were divorcing like 15 years ago, my MIL hired this lawyer who ended up being a really good family friend to my MIL and my husband and his sisters. They’ve been very good friends all these years. He’s quite wealthy and genuinely this really amazing guy. I like him a lot. He’s always trying to do things for others and help others. He has the mindset of “if I got all this money then why wouldn’t I help people in need with it?” But the point is, he offered to pay some of our rent or basically the difference. So at the lower income apartments we’d pay about $1500 for a 3 bed and he’d pay about $500-$700 depending on what we would find. I’ve looked in the area and there’s 3 bedroom houses/apartments for $2000. His reasoning of doing this for us is because he knows it’s a bit far for my husband and work so he wants us to be closer to his work, he genuinely wants to help, he wants us closer to family since I’ll be pp, and the low income apartment is kinda run down and he doesn’t want us in that with 2 kids. There would be no strings attached, just purely out of the goodness of his heart. However, me and my husband agreed if we did take it then we’d find some ways to make it up to him/show appreciation. Idk we’re still on the fence about it. What should we do?

If you have multiple kids, did they meet their siblings at the hospital?

I’m almost 28 weeks pregnant with my second so I’ve been thinking of labor and delivery/postpartum a lot. With my first, we were in another state. My MIL was in the delivery room, my sister and BIL visited at the hospital and my dad showed up at the absolute worst time despite being told to wait (while I was learning to breastfeed for the first time). And it honestly really gave me a lot of anxiety and drama that I DID NOT need while I was hours postpartum. It was a whole ordeal and other things happened which made multiple people upset.

This go around, I decided I wanted my sister in the delivery room (of course along with my husband) and NO visitors. But I really want me daughter to meet her sister at the hospital and get those special memories and pictures. My FIL will most likely be the one watching our daughter during delivery but I know if he’s the one who shows up to bring her and “meets” the new baby before everyone else, there will be LOTS of drama, especially from my MIL. The thing is also, my MIL works at the same hospital we’ll deliver at and I don’t want her there at all. We’ve had a great relationship but lately it’s been slowly deteriorating for some reasons and I’m just not really sold on her even coming after her mentioning a few times that it’ll be so easy since she can “pop in and out whenever she wants”. Yeah I don’t want that. So like what do I do? How do I get my daughter to meet her sister without visitors and all the drama?

ETA: thanks for everyone’s advice and comments!!! I think I realized that the most important thing for me is that my daughter HAS to be the first person to meet her sibling (of course other than me and her daddy), and I want to make this the most easiest transition for my daughter as well. I think if she met her sister at the hospital then she’d be really upset when it’s time to leave. So I’ll just have them meet at our house and have my husband pick her up from her grandpas house and then have visitors later!!

Like am I missing something? My daughter’s only 14 months old and my mom gave me such a hard time the other day about not feeding my toddler cake. Then today my FIL tried to explain to me why I should feed her sugar and when I kept saying no then he was like “oh she’s going to love going to papas house with all the cookies and sweets”. And then proceeded to warn me from being “overbearing”

So yeah, am I being overbearing or reasonable? I just don’t get it

Husband went out last night and didn't come home till 2:30am and was of course hungover all day today. He managed to get up at 7:30 like he needed to so we can go to breakfast at his grandmas house with his sister, aunt, dad, step mom and cousins were there. That went great. I didn't need to cook or anything. I get a text from my MIL saying she was expecting us at the house which I was a bit confused by. We stopped by to get some coffee and walk around the outlets and then headed to our house (MIL's house but we're living there temporarily). To then which things blew up and MIL was crying and saying she thought we'd hang with her all day and that we'd do our nails and then have dinner (the day before we talked about doing nails and dinner with both my SIL’s and my MIL but nails weren’t set yet but dinner was). She talked about how she’s fine with my SIL (oldest daughter) not being there for nails since she wanted to spend time with her family but was expecting us. Which hurt because I have a family too (14 month old daughter and 27 weeks pregnant) and I feel like I was allowed to do whatever I wanted today and she didn’t acknowledge that.

MIL left to go get food and then me, my husband and SIL’s talked about the situation and was basically told by SIL’s that we fucked up and that MIL does a lot for us (letting us move in) so we should have had the courtesy to be here all day besides breakfast (also want to add in leaving for breakfast and then coming back before noon would have been super hard as it was an hour drive and we didn’t even get there till 10am and then my daughter had to nap at 12). Then they talked about percentages of who has priority and all of them including my husband said 60 to wife and 40 to actual mom which then I disagreed because you’re literally making a family with this new person so it should be 90/10. I asked my husband about that privately and he said that’s just how it is since she’s been a mother longer and over the years “I’ll get more of a percentage”.

Then lastly at dinner I had a fortune saying that my Thursday will bring peace and tranquility and it meant a lot to me because we’re going through a lot with our baby right now (she’s on track to losing her kidney). So I had a amnio and ultrasound this Thursday. I showed it to my husband and got really happy and wanted to keep it the fortune. 10 minutes later I asked where it was and he said he threw it away which then I started tearing up and he rolled his eyes.

So yeah. That was my Mother’s Day. Hope everyone had a better one than I did.

For context, I’m a SAHM to a 14 month old girl and 25 weeks pregnant with our second. My husband is currently not working until after Mother’s Day.

So on Tuesday, my husband scheduled a guys day with his cousin. I was fine with it because I was supposed to go hangout with my sister but that got canceled so I just did chores around the house. I of course was the only one watching our daughter that day. I also made them dinner and dessert when they came back to the house after what they were doing. Wednesday, my husband spend entire day with his dad working on his dad’s cabin. He didn’t come home until 10pm. I of course solo patented that entire day as well. Thursday, we had an ultrasound in the morning and had his dad take our daughter. After the appointment, we went back to the house so my husband can pick his car up as he was doing something later. I told him to hurry and said he just needs to grab something and he’ll head out. I got to his dad’s house at 10:30 because he was already babysitting my 2 other nieces and I knew 3 kids under 4 is a lot. I got a text that he was going to shower. He shows up at 12.

That whole day he was pretty much either on his phone or laptop which I sort of let slide because he’s finishing up his military contract this weekend and needed to schedule a drug test with his new job. He was also on the phone with a friend for about 45 minutes (who he scheduled 2 hangout days with next week). Then around 5pm, he went to his cousins coffee shop as they were doing some kind of men’s group thing and they invited him for the first time. I solo patented again pretty much that entire day and of course night. This morning, he’s not in bed and I see a text from him that he slept at his cousins house and won’t be home until today around our daughter’s nap. Which is 12. I even talked to him yesterday about how this is a lot and it feels like he’s not prioritizing us. And that I’ve been solo parenting back to back. He said he was sorry and he’ll be here with us today and this weekend.

Also to add since I feel like someone will comment it. No he’s not cheating. I have his location so I know where he says he is. Also, he’s really not the cheating type.

AIO? I feel pretty frustrated and just worn out

I’m 25 weeks pregnant with my second daughter. We’ve recently learned that one of her kidneys is lacking and it got progressively worse over a course of a month. They’re talking about potential induction, pre term labor, loss of her kidney and even the kidney bursting. It’s been tough. We’re on weekly monitoring at this moment. And some other outside problems are also occurring in my life.

My relationship with my mother has been rocky and weird. I’ve always kinda parented her because she’s put me in that role. My sister has actually stopped talking to her and it’s been 6 years. I for some reason always come back to her and open up because I can’t help it, she’s my mom. I told her I have an ultrasound tomorrow and she told me that I shouldn’t stress or else I’ll end up like her and my sister and my kid will end up hating me because she stressed so much in her pregnancy. She also continued to say that “god puts you in bad situations so you can appreciate the good”.

Not sure why I’m posting this. Maybe to just vent it out. But idk, just for once I want her to be there for me properly. I’m scared. This is my unborn baby and so many things can happen in 15 weeks. And then my mom makes comments like that. I told her that doesn’t make me feel better and she just says “I know but I have to tell you this”. Like ok. Thanks.

Thanks for listening.

My daughter is 14 months and we’ve decided to pull the plug on the paci as we’ve noticed it’s been becoming a bigger issue where she’s constantly asking for it. Today we decided it’s no more paci and we’re completely cold turkey quitting. She does fine-ish during the day. She’ll just sign for the paci and we redirect. But nap time. Oh my god nap time. It’s got me scared for bedtime. She screamed and cried and eventually fell asleep on me until I had to transfer and then it was more screaming and crying. I tried to comfort her but it made it worse so ultimately she cried until she fell asleep which literally shattered my heart in pieces. I don’t want to do that again. She napped for an hour and not her usual 2 hours.

Now we’re coming up on bedtime in a few hours and I’m terrified. She FINALLY started sleeping through night at 12 months and it’s been so nice. I know she’ll normally wake in the middle of the night and just replace her paci by herself but now I’m just scared because she won’t have the paci to knock right out if she wakes. Please tell me it’ll be ok and she’ll sleep through the night lmao. I’m 25 weeks pregnant and I’m already dreading those sleepless newborn nights so I just want to get ALL the uninterrupted sleep I can get now before August. How do I make this easier on her? Will she be able to sleep through the night after this or did I just make the biggest mistake?

ETA: she slept through the night 7:30pm-8am without a peep! I’m feeling happy that we did this because it was time and she showed she could do it too. Thanks for everyone and their advice and comments:)