u/totalynotacat

I didn't know what other word to use, but just how I get ready to voluntarily regress

-Lay a thick blanket over my already kinda fluffy rug to make something close to a play mat -Get my stuff out (toys, paci, bottle, etc.) -Change into some comfy clothes -Fill my bottle with juice, water, or milk and get a snack -Choose an activity or a few -Be little

Being an autistic age regressor who's special interest is a kid friendly or mostly kid friendly piece of media is a blessing and a curse because on one hand, I can watch it when regressed, on the other, I regress when I watch it sometimes and I ALWAYS wanna watch it

On another note, they make toys and stuff for it, and that's good

My special interest is Marvel superheroes =3 especially X-Men

Most of our alters, even introjects, are formed or discovered with some of our memories, but recently, we had one form with pretty much nothing outside basic knowledge that we're a system and we are that way bc trauma. Has anyone else had this?

Change isn't always good, but it IS always progress. It's growth whether things get better or worse. Flowers need sun, water, and air to reach potential. As do you, in a different sense. Feel the sun as you go out and experience the world. Give yourself breathing room, to grow and to stop when you need to. Water can be so many things, the rain, the stream, lakes, oceans, as versatile as you. I won't waste precious time with it all. Be you, as you are then.

Why do I enjoy having dreams about being dismembered, disemboweled, or otherwise harmed? I feel the pain the entire time and it feels pleasant. Should I be worried?

My mom once held my dad at knifepoint, and got him arrested for battery when I was twelve, and wouldn't let me leave the room. She called me an insufferable little cunt when I begged to go to the hospital because of ideation. When I was ten and didn't want to do my homework, she screamed at me to ask her if I wanted fries with that because I'll only ever work at McDonald's. She's apologized, but only really said she was sorry, but she has her own issues.

Logically, I know it's pretty bad. I literally watched my mom try to murder my dad when I was twelve, and my dad get arrested for battery after defending himself. But I see people have things happen that I consider worse, and I think mine can't be that bad if other people who've been through worse are doing better than I am and I feel weak. I feel like I just can't handle stress, and my mom apologized, so why would I still be scared of her? I don't know, I think I've just heard the classic "but others have it worse" too many times.