u/xRoadkill_Princessx

The food is very very very good and it's not too expensive and I can buy my safe food snacky snacks. It is my favorite thing about Cobble Hill. I very like there selection of Jimmy Dean's breakfast sammichs I also like the BEC from the bodega next to it the BEC's from the one bodega next to it are very exceptional and they have a fine selection of energy drinks. Overall I think its very wise to have a bodega next to a grocery store but the grocery store itself has a fine selection of freezer food I find delicious and I can buy. Very very happy about Key Foods. Key Foods if u see this I hope u know ur a very special entity in my life 😘

So in addition to finding a pigeon I finally got my diagnosis. My adoptive mom is convinced I'm not BPD but that I just have severe trauma and mood problems but yeah I am diagnosed now. Everyone's always told me I probably am and idk how I feel ig it's like "wow I guess I know what's wrong with me now"

This happened recently and it's been really hard for me and I'm hoping to get some validation or advice from other enbys. So I'm afab and I do dress pretty feminine because that's what I have available even tho I wouldn't particularly say I'm necessarily a femme and I feel like most people see me as a girl anyways even tho I'm very upfront about my identity and don't see the masculine parts of me until they like actually know me cuz it's mostly personality where I'm more gender neutral. Anyways so I started dating this girl I met on a dating app and she had a really good vibe I told her I'm nonbinary and she was originally fine with that though she did refer to me as her "girlfriend" and very clearly didn't see me as my gender but I thought I could just look past that. There were some unrelated red flags, she didn't seem interested in anything I talked about or my life and also tried to pressure me to have sex with her while I was half asleep. Anyways basically she asked if because I'm nonbinary I'm considering getting anything medically done two days ago and I said yeah I really wanna get top surgery at some point a few years down the line but I wanna wait because I'm not ready to be out to everyone in my life yet and I wanna process some trauma stuff first. Anyways she FLIPPED TF OUT started yelling and screaming at me over the phone about how I "tricked her" (she had never asked before or had it come up before) and said some very objectifying things about me and my body that very clearly showed she saw me as female and felt entitled to my body and the argument escalated over the course of the day and it got to the point of her making threats and telling me to kill myself. I feel so used and disappointed and I hate how people see us as invisible and just see me as a girl and feel soo entitled to parts of my body that dont feel like me at all. Yeah lol. On a side note this argument helped me come out to my cousin who didn't get it but tried to be supportive, yay? I just really need support rn from the community about this lol

So as a domestic abuse victim I've definitely had my fair share of police injustice but it's genuienly hillarious to me how moderates and Republicans and soo many damn people think the police system can be reformed when it is designed to ruin victims of poverty or kids making mistakes lives and letting abusers and sexual predators get off scotch free or giving them extremely light sentences. It even is corrupt when they decide what sex offenses to prosecute for example I had an ex gf who was coerced by her sexually abusive mom into assaulting her sister when she was 14. The sister didn't report it till she was 18 and keep in mind this was in rural Wisconsin they tried her as an adult and put her on the registry while her mom who was a grown ass adult sexually abusing her and her siblings who coerced her got off scotch free and her brother who raped her did too but a huge part was she was trans and schizophrenic and so yeahhhhhh. Meanwhile also I used to routinely call the cops on my abusive bio mom and at one point even stole her phone and showed the cops the naked photos she took of me as a TEENAGER many were posed and very suggestive and they simply said because she was my mom it was okay and left. I called them Everytime she beat me or assaulted me and they never did shit until I ranaway and threateened to kill myself and yet they have litteraly ruined peoples lives ovee possession of weed. The police system sees victims of domestic violence and minors as property of there abusers. Mentally ill people as unredeamaable and genuine pedophiles as helpable. I don't get how anyone supports this shit

For context my abuse bio mom went on a vacation and I've had one week to get my stuff from her place before it's too late. It's brought up lots and lots of emotions even tho the apartment is empty at night when I gathered up the last batches of stuff for the day was the worst I could almost hear her footsteps again in my head and just fuck. I'm laying on the couch rn wasting time and I'm just realizing this will ALWAYS be a part of ME, it won't always be the biggest but it'll always be a part of my story and who I am, every beating, every creepy comment, every touching, every photo every item thrown at me, every time I went hungry, every time I hid in my room terrified every time I tried to end my life to stop the pain it'll always be part of my story. I want to move on I want to be normal I want to feel like everyone else but ive been soo sad and fucked up all week. I went to a grocery store with $10 for the first time this week and it felt like such a big deal cuz jve never had money before and ive never had any autonomy and while I had a taste of normalcy and autonomy the first time I ranaway it only lasted so long then I was in a facility where I had my first experience with physical safety (mostly, I did get attacked right before I left) Erin (bio mom) was exerting her power of me constantly through the program, isolated me from everyone I loved and saw photos of me everyday even my sleep records and manipulated the narrative which prevented me from getting proper help lol plus I was fighting her in court the whole time. Anyways I've never had real autonomy or consistent normalcy and safety before in my life until this week and I don't know how to handle it I don't know what to do and it's not helpful that I'm also in this crappy program on weekdays and my friends are all super busy and I'm just super lonely and alone with my thoughts and feelings that I want to drown out and I just don't know how to be happy and move on. I don't think happiness is the magic bullet I always thought it was I never understood how people who had access to what they needed and weren't being abused or completely controled could be sad but I get it now cuz residual sadness is something of itself because there's nothing to fight back anymore. I have a protection order against bio mom, I'm safe, I'm cared for, I'm loved, I'm not in systems anymore really. I'm just stuck with my own sadness and nothing to do with it and I'm angry I'm angry I know what it's like to be hungry and scared and other people don't it's not fucking fair other people had chances I was just sentenced to bullfuckery from day one when God decided to let me be born to an ancient sociopath who would die one year later and a crazed narcissistic alcoholic who would get so lonely she'd decide to get sex feelings for her own kid along with being super physically abusive lol. I just how TF do I move on???? How do I live normally I'm afraid to even shower or have sex because my whole body feels dirty and disgusting cuz my own mom liked it like that like every time I get naked and look down I just wanna die cuz I hate the gross parts of my body I don't wanna feel female or male or anything I don't wanna feel like a sex object and Everytime I bathe I feel like a sex object because she would rub my breasts and watch me bathe since I was 11 and I'm pretty sure molested me after my baths tho this was blocked from my memory but my cousin who lived with us remembers her massaging me while I was naked and the time I remember her molesting me when I was 16 she looked like she did it before and made eye contact the whole time and she tried to make out with me when I was 13 so I have no doubt she molested me during the "massages" especially because when I was 14 one time she asked me to take my clothes off so she could massage me and I kept saying no cuz it felt weird and she got really mad and kept asking and asking and started acting like she was gonna hit me when I kept saying no so yeahhhhh. Anyways I've been having such a rough week I haven't bathed since like Saturday and this heatwave has NOT been kind to me and Im gross and sticky but I'm scared of I do RN I'll just go straight to suicide cuz I'm struggling with all this identity stuff and I just don't know. HOW DO I MOVE ON?!??!?

I'm sorry they just compliment each other so well I get it's not super canonical but like I just love the shy x loud and playful trope and I feel like they'd be like SUPER cute together lol!!!!!

Im finally free and im happy

And im struggling quite a bit

Now that I'm out is the pain I feel even still legit

So much has happened to me and i cant make sense of it

I havent been able to bum cigarettes and ig this means i quit?

When i see the cops i wanna gouge out there eyes

They didnt protect me rhey didnt even try

They helped her violate me they were uninnocent bystanders

But who wants to have empathy who wants to understand her

The battered little girl with a name different from mine im really really hoping i make peace with her in time

Ma when i think about you i think i wanna die

Your an evil slimey creature and I cant believe they bought your lies

I still feel your filthy hands killing me between my thighs

And youve helped me make no plans other than ones that lead to my demise

I sit struggling in this tiny room happiness is disguise

And i dont know how much longer ill always chase a monetary prize

Im finally free and im struggling quite defintely

Will i ever control my own life? I guess well wait and see

The demons in my head they rest as much as me when im doom scrolling on the internet or watching bad tv

Is forgetting or making sense the key?

Will i figure it out when i get some decent therapy?

All ive ever wanted was to just be free and now i am and now what who even am i and who do i want to be.

Hiiiii my name is Catatonia (Cat or Catty for short) I'm 18F and new York born and raised. I know my life is a lot rn but I feel like. I'm ready for a relationship and can give lots of. Time and attention since I have no life. I'm only looking for someone in the NYC/NJ area because I've done long distance and I'm so done with that shit but I am willing to be just friends with people who are long distance. As the post says I'm not interested in cis or trans men. I'm interested in any and every other gender though as I am sapphic. I have really bad sexual traumathat I'm working through sso I'm not willing to have sex for at least awhile but I'm not opposed to kissing and cuddling and like to kiss a. Lot. I really wanna drag u to cool stuff or have u drag me or just chill in my living room and watch TV lol. I'm a poet and writer and I'm trying. To get back into drawing and visual art and. I really want someone who's also artistically inclined and sensitive. I'm a leftist and I also want someone who's passionate about politics. Other than that I'm not picky but u will put up with me. Being clingy and annoying and wantting. To call all the ttime. So yeah. Anyy otherr questions im happy to answer, DM me

I love how liberals and conservatives claim we need the police but when I was getting domestically abused I would call them on my abuser and I went to the police station in the middle of the night begging for help one time and they would tell me it was my fault that she's allowed to hit and beat me and that I should just "hide in my room" which I had been doing. The night I went to the police wjen they handed me back to her they simply said "our job here is done" they care more about kids hopping turnstiles then any real victim of anything and it truly shows. When I ranaway the police were gonna send me right back and the only reason they didn't is because I outsmarted them and pulled the suicide card out of my ass. But yeah Everytime I see one I just wanna hurt them and watch them hurt like all the kids they e failed and people they've committed violence towards themselevs

I got a furby and it just says the most random but sweet stuff and like I feel like. If chickeys could talk they'd be like "ur my best friend I'm sleepy hahaha" lol

Hi my names Cat and I've waited a year to make this post and I wanted it to be my first one. Folkpunk saved my fucking life especially Sister Wife Sex Strike and Pigeon Pit and HappyHappy. I just turned 18 today and I was in a facility in Utah away from all my friends and family hiding from my abusive monster of a mom till I aged out and I had nobody to listen to me or understand me but folkpunk music did and it helped me write some of my own poems. My favorite songs by Sister Wife Sex Strike are Glad To Be Home which I listened to on repeat a lot of nights same as God's Above when I cried and Pigeon Pit just always gave me hope my favorite song by them is Milk Crates I just wanted to thank whoever makes this raw beautiful music for helping me get through times I didn't even wanna be alive ❤️❤️❤️