Productivity routine [SATIRE]
Monday:
0.00-12.00: Work OT and normal hour 12.00-12.01: Brunch 12.01-22.01: Work normal hour 22.01-22.06: Get back home by bus 22.06-22.11: Instant noodle comfort night meal
Transition from Monday to Tuesday:
22.11-00.11: Work OT 00.11-12.11: Work OT and normal hour
Tuesday:
12.11-12.12: Brunch 12.12-22.12: Work normal hour 22.12-22.17: Get back home by bus 22.17-22.22: Instant noodle comfort night meal
Transition from Tuesday to Wednesday:
22.22-0.22: Work OT 0.22-12.22: Work OT and normal hour
Wednesday:
12.22-12.23: Brunch 12.23-22.23: Work normal hour 22.23-22.28: Get back home by bus 22.28-22.33: Instant noodle comfort night meal
Transition from Wednesday to Thursday:
22.33-0.33: Work OT 0.33-12.33: Work OT and normal hour
Thursday:
12.33-12.34: Brunch 12.34-22.34: Work normal hour 22.34-22.39: Get back home by bus 22.39-22.44: Instant noodle comfort night meal
Transition from Thursday to Friday
22.44-0.44: Work OT 0.44-12.44: Work OT and normal hour
Friday:
12.44-12.45: Brunch 12.45-22.45: Work normal hour 22.45-22.50: Get back home by bus 22.50-22.55: Instant noodle comfort night meal
Transition from Friday to Saturday
22.55-0.00: Work OT for only 5 minutes then fell asleep from exhaustion. 0.00-0.30: Boss yells at you in Zoom meeting for falling asleep mid-meeting.
Saturday: 0.30-12.00: OT 12.00-12.05: Sneakily eat instant noodles. 12.05-12.05: Boss asks you to open your camera for 5 seconds. 12.05-12.05: You open your camera. 12.05-12.35: Boss yells at you for eating. 12.35-22.35: OT 22.35-22.40: Sneakily eat instant noodles. 22.40-23.10: Boss scolds you for eating noodles because you closed your camera.
Transition from Saturday to Sunday:
23.10-12.00: You work OT
Sunday:
12.00-12.05: Sneakily eat instant noodles. 12.05-12.35: You get scolded again. 12.35-22.00: OT. 22.00-22.05: Noodles. 22.05-22.35: Get scolded again.
Transition from Sunday to Monday:
22.35-12.00: Work.
Monday:
12.00-12.00: Boss called you to the HR office. 12.00-13.00: Boss and HR scolded you for laziness since you get scolded 4 times for sneakily eating instant noodles. 13.00-13.00: You got fired. 13.00-00.00: You get back home jobless. 00.00-9.00: Sleep out of exhaustion.
Tuesday:
9.00-9.10: You tried to haggle the bus driver to drive you to court to sue the company. 9.10-10.00: You go to court. 10.00-13.00: Court took the case to อัยการ. 13.00-13.00: The bus driver let you in, you gave him your phone number so he could ask for the money. 13.00-13.50: Bus time. 13.50-15.00: You go to Ministry of Labour. 15.00-15.50: Get back home. 15.50-16.00: You told your landlord you lost your job, the landlord put the unpaid rent on note.
Tuesday to Wednesday:
16.00-9.00: You doomscroll out of despair all night.
Wednesday:
9.00-9.00: Your internet provider cut off your internet because you don't pay because you can't pay because you lose your job. You can't access your email so you have to accumulate bus driver debt. 9.00-16.00: All day busy with legal stuff. The attorney said yes. You're lucky. 16.00-17.00: Your boss pays for good lawyers to fight against you. 17.00-17.05: You post everything on social media. The media notices. 17.05-17.10: You get harassed by company-created bots. Your boss sends apples to news anchors not to cover this. 17.10-9.00: So stressed you can't sleep.
Thursday:
9.00-10.00: Your bus driver drives you to court. 10.00-22.00: Private lawyers destroy you in court process. 22.00-23.00: The bus driver saw your face and knew you're cooked. 23.00-24.00: You fell asleep out of exhaustion.
Offscreen:
Your boss paid the judge.
Friday:
00.00-00.05: Your landlord decided to sue you alongside your boss and contacted the bus driver for whatever a genius lawyer comes up with. 00.05-22.00: You got shredded in court. 22.00-22.00: You're in debt.
Transition:
22.00-1.00: You walk back home for 3 hours.
Saturday:
1.00-2.00: You fell in the streets for starvation and sleep deprivation. 2.00-22.00: You get to the hospital because a kind stranger phone calls random ass govt org. You're unconscious. 22.00-22.00: Realize you're going to prison. 22.00-23.00: Reach prison. 23.00-24.00: You got beaten up and raped to death by a gang leader in prison.