u/yinmin_blues

I mainly been trying on my own for skincare, i made sure that the products I used have done something significant or noticeble changes when used.

But I dont have alot of money to keep expriemnting on what kind of skincare is effective on my skin, so I want to have a doctors opion on this matter, is there a relatively good dermatologist I can visit within Singapore to figure out what issue has been causing my skin?

This happened just now on MRT, red line. I was with a friend and I was just scanning around the train when I saw a guy with a girl chatting. Nothing to think about until my eyes glanced at his pants, and I see 2 basketball sized MOONS, in white pants. Admittely I was already weak for the dude.

However i shook it off thinking maybe its a straight guy that got lucky.

Once i sat opposite to them standing, I noticed how his legs are bent downwards and talked in a slightly pitched manner (gay flag 1).

Eh anyone can be like that, before the exclaimed, " I BEG YOUR FINEST PARDON!?", "Why? You intrested in seeing my finger gone into holes?" (Gay flag 2)

At this point I was trying ask should I flirt, I am seriously weak on my knees figuretively.

Until I saw he decided to use his hand movents to shush his girl bestie and holding hands in a way thats gives besties energy. (Gay flag 3)

I am already locked in, I know i made a post the other day saying how to know if someone is gay easier to ask. But you cant just ask randomly out of nowhere 😭.

In the end, I missed it as the left the mrt just before woodlands or something.

It dosent help knowing what I wanted to show him was typed out, "do you like fruitcakes", I am cleary a social disater incoming 😭😭😭

And now I cant help seeing 2 basketball sized moons in his white pants being stretch. Its eye candy now, I really hope I would forget about this soon too 😭

As a Bi person myself who is hungry for men, I cant tell who is Gay, Bi or Straight. Or Lesbian even. This is just a random 5 am though and wanted to ask if anyone have hard exprience/identification for someone is gay and thinks they are safe to talk/mingle with taht person in general?

*Side question, do anyone in singapore lgbtqa is bold enough to use bandanas in their outfits to attract other lgbtqa in sg? Its rather risky imo but am curious, definately 3 am ah thoughs right now

I am not sure if I want to continue living after this, I am not sure to can I go for help. This past week, has not been the best week for me.

I think I am just tired of living, I am unsure who I can trust even, all the friends throughout my years, they all drift, distant or are one-sided. I am incredibly clingy, daily talking, but I am very open to communicate, I will back off to give them space, I wait weeks, months even. Yet they dont want to reach out, and when I do reach out, silence, no one ever wants to talk to me, I ask in person if I could, I ask about others if they have any advise. They all seem to not need me.

I am unsure what to do, who to trust, who to ask advise anymore. I cant trust my parents who either dosent belivei n mental health, or asks me to wait out my suicide attempts. Every friend I had, no matter how small or big the matter, I am willing to and have changed to fix the problems, I ask what I did wrong, what can I change and what can I help with. Yet when something happens, something I did thats entirely different, they chose to ignore, not to communicate. They get mad for trying to reach out and ask, physically or digitally. What is so wrong with me that its been happening for 18 years of my life.

Whats so inheritenly wrong of me that no one wants me in their life, they add me saying they want to be friends, yet throw me out for all the simplist reasons. I try to accomodate, I really do try. If they dont like to text often, they can ignore me, I am fine with it, they are uncomfortable with a topic I am unaware of I can be more general, they want to talk every month because texting is tiring, I can try, I can acomodate it. I want to apologise to them, I want to understand them, I want to have them trust me and find me occasionally.

But what wrongs I do that almost hundreds of people I met, find me inheritenly wrong, do I come off wrong? Am I too stupid, too blunt, too clingy? What purpose I am for if I am not meant to be loved at all? Acheive a life that I would be alone forever?

I cant reach out to anyone, not friends, not family nor consellours. No matter how hard I try, I am not needed nor wanted. Is it wrong for me to think that, its better for me to leave? Why am I always the one that reaches out, and they dont reach back, I am willing to reach out if they like it, I am willing to do anything for a friend. I am tired, all the relationships I had are one-sided. I wish they can reach out too, I will always reply them.

I want help, but it seems I cant get the help, the advise I been ever given, I had taken I tried to apply them everywhere.

I been vomiting and crying this past hours, I dont understand how to live in this world if nothing I try is going to happen, if no one wants me.

[Context] M 18, Asian, Son, recounting a decade old story from my father. Whatever situation that has happened from this story is fixxed and wont be expanded as well since its private. Sharing this story to ask for advise if I the Son were to face similar situations.

[Additional Context] Father background of (Pampered/Abusive/Controlling), Mother background of (Alcoholic/MIA parents)

[Suspiscion] Father likey have ASD traits, and Mother has ADHD traits. Both unconfirmed wont be expanded either.

Conclusion was came to it since I hv AuDHD traits and is oldest son + etc. (Heavy self research)

So basically I was around the age 7 and had a younger brother year 3, the whole family was returning from a family outing or shopping. During mid trip my father decided to inform my mum that he needed to leave for work get together party, he was forced by his boss since my father skipped out on 3 before hand and was demanding he be seen by him at the get together (for the intention of connections/good intentions; quote by father).

However this seem to annoyed/enraged my mother, and shorty after, started to kick and scream at my father, with hands on wheel and control stick. During the fuss, both argued loudly while me and my brother were at the back seat.

My brother was likey woken up and was whailing from the argument as well if I recall, and I was petrified from their argument. During it, my mother had kicked the wrist of my father's dominate hand on the cars control stick, injuring it.

At the same time, my mother slipper/shoe had slipped off and in that moment my father smacked my mothers face across to calm her down. Was it right? Absolutely not, was it the best choice he had? He dosent know til this day as he recounted to me. Could it been better yes.

After the slap, to my mother this was the final straw that broke the camels back, and she demanded a divorce, without kicking this time, fear of getting slapped again. Later reaching our home, they continued to argue. This had caught a poor bystander to witness everything. Thankfully no one was reported from it, it very well looked like domestic abuse, then again whos going to do something at 2015 and was even told off by my father at the time too.

To me I am somewhat bias saying that my mum did deserve it, because as my father explained it. He had 3 family members in a car and had 2 noise disturbing him with an injured hand, a crash is not what any of us would have wanted.

For my mother, I do not know why would she be mad, maybe the timing, maybe how my father neglected family with work, I do not know nor I think she is willing to explain it.

All I can say is Huo Gai to my mother, in translated means it basically says, you see? You deserved it. My grandmother's favourite line

I do have to empathsize that these decisions are in the moments and this was what they decided was best too.

And please forgive my english if theres terrible mistake like grammar. May delete the post if it gets too popular somehow

I am in my 5th conselling room throughout my 19 years of life. My mum specifically has been ignorant about all my mental health issues and has asked about how much it cost and that I should make appointments for my suicide tendecies, I am really tired to live a life of empty promises, I want a theraphist... just 1 and if this fails I really just think its true ti end it all. I want to ask specifically here, which theraphist I can hopefully look into, I am incredibly desperate, I really dont want to live nor die yet, but Im close to that limit

So I was tempted to get chaos but the grinding of the game was actually causing me mental and physical harm from continuing the gane so I bit the bullet and spend to get chaos, but regretably decided I needed the money back to survive eating and deal with in life problems instead. However my bank said they have no way to refund the purchases as the money had already went through. So I had sent an email to NTE game centre email directly, I am completely fine with my account being banned afterwards but I desperately need my money back to survive this month.

Is there any other ways to directly contact NTE custoner service? I feeling very lost and defeated after the my own bank told me that I cant do anything about it.

I am M 18, and i just asked someone to have sex soon, but they refuse to use a condom and said to do it raw. Firstly this is my first time agreeing to have sex as a bisexual boy, but now with them wanting to lead, (No sex exp) but wanting to do it raw is making me back out, and they have done sex with other men before and I really dont want to risk catching STDs at all. I plan to ask the guy again but if he refuses to say, I may decline. But if he say he has but is treated and still refuse a condom what should I do?

I just had a conversation with a friend not to long ago, I suddenly broke down after knowing once again that throughout my life, that most people dosent message me first, this is excluding school or any forced situation for them to message first. From what I know atleast, I always message first, daily and some would call me as a close friend, but if I did not message a day a week even, no one would check up on me. Im not some malicious person nor do I guilt anyone, Im just confused...

im no extrovert, not entirely introverted either. I know the people I do message constantly dont dislike me, close enough to ask for advise and share with eachother their hardest times.

But why do I feel this void in my heart and soul, knowing that likey if I died no one would find me. They will always find others, instead of me. I tried various and many ways to interact, tried my best to be as polite as I can be. I go out with them but by the end of it I feel empty... Is there something so wrong with me that makes me inhuman? What do I lack that others dont, I also dont get why people invest in me either, do they even care?

Why lend me money when I need it or offer me advise when you are not going to want to see or message me? And when I do stop messaging them they disappear, ghost and block. I dont get it, what did I do wrong in life, I will always give as much as I can as well when they need it, I am always happy to help but...

they ask for it once and never come back... they always seem happier without me. What did I do wrong in life, I hid my pain, my depression anything wrong that others say are wrong or inapprioate, I been vernerable when I needed it and while respecting them, but what I am doing wrong.

I want connections, I go out and be friends first, invest so much time into them, they are happy they are close they ask for help and advise and everything I could give and share. But once I die or disappear for 1 week, no check up no replies... does no one actually want me? Is that what they wanted?

TL;DR

I want to know why everyone I know is one sided, why am I the one to put in the effort only and recive nothing back

This isnt a post to harm or to blame the people or school mentioned, please keep an open mind and awareness about it especially parents.

On the Bus 157, double deck, theres a group of Association Pathway School Students, 2 Malay boys Sec 3 to 4.

They both were making shit talks and I would say disruptive but not in an inconveint way that would need talking down.

And both started to shift to LGBTQA+ or in general gay topics to poke fun at gays ah. I am in no way involved or wanna be involved in that topic at all especially early morning, trying to mind my own business.

It wasnt until, the guy sitting just right behind me stood up and I heard smacking sounds.

I turn my head towards the window slightly to not be obvious and this kid was smacking himself in the crotch, standing up woth his pants down.

Now Im not sure if APS students wear RED PE shorts. But I am going to assune they dont and he was pulling his pants down.

Thankfully no one saw, since we were in the back rows, maybe 1 or 2 people saw and didnt give a fuck since it was elderly and someone similar to my age.

Afterwards they guy turn around and pull up his pants infront of his friend saying he done it or showed his friends.

My horny ass mind went to are they dating, before I asked if I should tell then they should not do it.

In my defense, I feel parents should tell their kids NOT to do this stuff at all, even if you are in a relationship. To me atleast they are your average yp straight boys that are homophobic kinda teens. Not only that if i did lecture them, I likey become bullied by then with how I am dressed no offense.

All I can do is to tell otherd if this happen and if your an adult please tell them kindly and not harshly.

Things like internal homophobia do exist so if scold harshly may not be good either.

Is this common? No. Is this approriate? Hell no

Just want make sure they know this is wrong and if they using this as coping mechanism, hint hint [THEY ARE BETTER WAYS].

This is pretty much a nothing rant but I do want to have confirmation if I was "talking" a red flag and how big was that flag.

I met this guy on Hinge, NYP, busexual and he is one of thoese better looking side guys but was giving off straight vibes, tank tops with parted hair.

I started off simple talking about games, replied in about 3 hours to me. And managed to bag his contact on the first day itself. Admittedly I was sex heavy in the mindset and flirted heavily on him. Although he could have told me to stop he didnt but instead played into it and we both sexted in the end after I got his telegram.

After that, we both decided that we want to have more talking stage and get to know eachother, with no clear time of how long it has to be. Bad habit of mine needing to know how long certain things are when its not tangible. So daily about the first 3 days he would msg me first asked if Im awake and i would reply. He replys quite long about hours inbetween messages, sometimes quite dry too when I asked him about his likes, dodging the questions even. Afterwards thought, maybe I can try to asked first every morning since school is starting soon for him too. Nothing really changed and I got slightly more worried if he was losing intrest, so I went to ask and clarify with him if he felt that I was unintresing to him anymore? A flurry of messages came through and said that he was busy with school work, understanable, he is likey incredibly diligent in his school work, he did mention how engineering is more theory and more mental straining. I understand and lefr it at that. Afterwards, on thursday I had some sort of injury and did not message him early morning, I tend to oversleep on days where I get seriously or slightly injured. And when I did wake up and planned to message him, his telegram chat had been deleted, our chats too. Even the hinge match up has been unmatched. No warning whats so ever. Worried I went to check up his number, gave 2 big formal apologies and even offered my number again for him to call me and disscuss what I did wrong too. I spent the next 4 hours? Starring at my phone to see his pfp be online before the chat vanished and a blank pfp pic indicating im been blocked.

Its... demoralising to say the least... It hasnt been a week yet and I dont know what I did to fumble this bag, everyone around told me that he is the red flag but I cant really shake I had to had done something really wrong? I was told that I had to raise my standdard, ITE students arent worth my time to date, and now I found someone who I managed to flirt hard enough to get their contact on the first day of meeting, but they blocked me after because I did not message them, was it my fault? They did like that I was clingy, was I not clingy enough it seems? Im having this mindset that Poly students are infinately better and are huge greenflags when told by people who me and themselves are in ITE. I still cant figure out what have I done to get blocked by him still.

FYI, additional info; he would usually avoid tyrning on his video cameras, and rarely opens up about intrests, but would greet every morning and call me cute, saying he is very intrested in me, even flirting at times, although very dry flirting with mhm and ok.