u/420ball-sniffer69

Hi everyone,

First-time buyer completing shortly on an empty 3-bed semi (recent new-build). I currently own zero furniture and need to source everything from scratch, excluding major white goods.

I’ve costed out a provisional budget of £4,000–£5,000 to get the essentials in place. This is aimed strictly at making the core rooms livable

Financially, this money is already ring-fenced in a cash ISA earmarked specifically for setup costs, so spending it will not require taking on debt, this is entirely separate from my emergency fund. I earn £40k, so ongoing cashflow can cover minor top-ups down the line once my baseline mortgage and bills settle.

My plan is to buy the mattress and maybe sofa new, but actively hunt for solid second-hand pieces (Facebook Marketplace, British Heart Foundation, Gumtree) for wardrobes, tables, and frames to keep costs rational. Same goes for any other items like my vacuum, coffee table, TV stand etc. whatever I can reclaim buy or trade I’ll try my best to attempt.

For those who have set up a house from scratch recently: is £4k–£5k a sensible baseline, or am I underestimating the stealth costs like window coverings, appliance connections, and basic household tooling?

I’m a prospective FTB and I’ve made some bookings for a couple of houses I really like in the coming weeks. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to a mortgage advisor and my friends so I hope I have a good handle on the process and how things should work but I’m still curious to know from others on here what they’d consider doing differently or what kind of mistakes FTBs are likely to make? Thanks!

I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately and I would really like to start building my social/dating experience but I don’t really have a very large group of people to talk to or ask on dates so I was curious if anyone knows of any low stakes (preferably not too expensive) ways I can start mingling with like minded people without any pressure? Thanks

I’m a below-average looking man in my 30s. I have a PhD, a good job, I look after myself, I volunteer and I’ve spent plenty of time in therapy trying to understand myself and become a better person. And yet I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never even experienced the affectionate touch of a woman in a romantic context.

I’ve tried to explain that it isn’t that simple for me. At this point, I want to find a relationship. I want to make more friends. I want people in my life. I want genuine fulfilment and happiness behind a “good” job. But I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to meet women in the first place.
I’ve recently started a genuinely good job, I’m earning more money than I ever have and I’m in the process of buying my first house. I’ve hit almost every conventional milestone, these are signs that my life is moving in the right direction. I should be celebrating and yet I still feel like a failure because I’ve never even had my first kiss.

I need help with to meet new women organically when you’re an unattractive man in your 30s? Where do you go? What activities or social situations have actually worked for people? How do you make the transition from simply talking to women to actually asking them out without making things uncomfortable?

I’m willing to try paying for matchmaking services, a dating coach or trying my hand at singles events (even though they ended badly badly without any matches last time)

I’m a below-average looking man in my 30s. I have a PhD, a good job, I look after myself, I volunteer and I’ve spent plenty of time in therapy trying to understand myself and become a better person. And yet I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never even experienced the affectionate touch of a woman in a romantic context.

I’ve tried to explain that it isn’t that simple for me. At this point, I want to find a relationship. I want to make more friends. I want people in my life. I want genuine fulfilment and happiness behind a “good” job. But I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to meet women in the first place.
I’ve recently started a genuinely good job, I’m earning more money than I ever have and I’m in the process of buying my first house. I’ve hit almost every conventional milestone, these are signs that my life is moving in the right direction. I should be celebrating and yet I still feel like a failure because I’ve never even had my first kiss.

How do you meet new women organically when you’re an unattractive man in your 30s? Where do you go? What activities or social situations have actually worked for people? How do you make the transition from simply talking to women to actually asking them out without making things uncomfortable?

I’m a below-average looking man in my 30s. I have a PhD, a good job, I look after myself, I volunteer and I’ve spent plenty of time in therapy trying to understand myself and become a better person. And yet I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never even experienced the affectionate touch of a woman in a romantic context.

I’ve tried to explain that it isn’t that simple for me. At this point, I want to find a relationship. I want to make more friends. I want people in my life. I want genuine fulfilment and happiness behind a “good” job. But I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to meet women in the first place.
I’ve recently started a genuinely good job, I’m earning more money than I ever have and I’m in the process of buying my first house. I’ve hit almost every conventional milestone, these are signs that my life is moving in the right direction. I should be celebrating and yet I still feel like a failure because I’ve never even had my first kiss.

How do you meet new women organically when you’re an unattractive man in your 30s? Where do you go? What activities or social situations have actually worked for people? How do you make the transition from simply talking to women to actually asking them out without making things uncomfortable?

I’m a below-average man in my 30s. I have a PhD, a good job, I look after myself, I volunteer and I’ve spent plenty of time in therapy trying to understand myself and become a better person.And yet I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never even experienced the affectionate touch of a woman in a romantic context.

And to be clear, going to the gym is good advice. Therapy is good advice. Having hobbies is good advice. Looking after yourself is good advice.

I’ve tried to explain that it isn’t that simple for me. At this point, I want to find a relationship. I want to make more friends. I want people in my life. I don’t want another lecture about personal development as a substitute for actually having those things.

And perhaps the strangest part is that, on paper, my life is finally beginning to look like the life I was told I should want.
I’ve recently started a genuinely good job, I’m earning more money than I ever have and I’m in the process of buying my first house. By almost every conventional measure, these are signs that my life is moving in the right direction. I should be celebrating and yet I still feel like a failure because I’ve never even had my first kiss

Hi guys I’m in the market for a new set of keycaps for my K10 board since the ones it ships with don’t have backlight shine through and since I’ve used it daily for work for nearly 3 years now they’ve worn smooth! I’m basically after a uk layout set of keycaps that allow the backlight to shite
Through. I don’t have a huge preference over colour as long as it’s similar to the generic one the board ships with. Thanks

I’m looking to learn more about the Normandy campaign and came across Antony Beevor’s D-Day. I have heard that he effectively blends high-level command strategy with gritty, human-level accounts, but I’m curious if his take on D-Day holds up to that same standard.

I want to make sure its a narrative history rather than getting bogged down in repetitive, dry listings of unit movements. Does he manage to maintain solid pacing throughout the entire campaign, or does the momentum stall out once the narrative moves past the initial beach landings?

I’m also wondering how it stacks up against other major Normandy histories like Max Hastings' Overlord or Rick Atkinson’s The Guns at Last Light in terms of objectivity and depth. If you’ve read it, is it worth buying as a definitive single-volume history, or is there another book on the campaign I should prioritize instead? Appreciate any thoughts!

Hi guys I’m in the market for a new set of keycaps for my K10 board since the ones it ships with don’t have backlight shine through and since I’ve used it daily for work for nearly 3 years now they’ve worn smooth! I’m basically after a uk layout set of keycaps that allow the backlight to shite
Through. I don’t have a huge preference over colour as long as it’s similar to the generic one the board ships with. Thanks

I signed up for that anonymous rating website called studyofus the other day and I was shocked at how realistic the ratings of my photo appeared. Of the 100 or so women who reviewed it before I pulled it, almost all of them correctly guessed I had 0 “bodycount” and my total rating was actually lower than I’d assumed too. In the end only 1-10% of women surveyed thought I was attractive. Brutal

Basically title. I’ve been offered a junior position as a Linux web application system administrator at a local university which seems like a really good job until I was contacted by a firm slightly further away for a position as a junior HPC Linux cluster engineer and system administrator. I really love HPC work but I’m worried I’d be taking too much on as a less experienced sysadmin. Equally I also don’t want to miss a chance to get further up the ladder in the HPC world. Really hard to decide. For those who’ve worked in these fields, what would you do?

I accepted a job offer that seemed really great, but it’s hybrid with a preference to in person work. I’ve since received another offer that’s also hybrid but the manager has phoned me to say they can offer 6k more than the advertised salary band with guaranteed promotion to a higher grade within 18 months (which as been echoed in writing). The work is also basically what I’d describe as close to my dream job whereas the firm I’ve accepted is still very good I worry that I’d become bored. I was also put off by how informal and “laid back” the team seems to be, they didn’t have any written procedures or answers to some of the technical questions I have. I think growth would be more limited. The advantage is that it would be closer to home of course

How bad would it look to accept the new offer and withdraw from the job I’ve already accepted? I feel pretty guilty about going back on my word, but the second role seems like a much better fit for my circumstances.

I accepted a job offer that seemed really great, but it’s hybrid and based in a different city. I’ve since received another offer that’s also hybrid but the manager has phoned me to say they can offer 6k more than the advertised salary band with guaranteed promotion to a higher grade within 18 months.

How bad would it look to accept the new offer and withdraw from the job I’ve already accepted? I feel pretty guilty about going back on my word, but the second role seems like a much better fit for my circumstances.

I recently applied for two jobs that I’d absolutely love to do, both of which would be a major step up in my career and offer much more progression in the direction I want to pursue. I was fortunate enough to be offered interviews for both, with about five days between the two interviews.
After interviewing, I ended up receiving offers from both companies. I accepted the offer from the first company, which seemed excellent from both a salary and career-development perspective, and I was very happy with the decision.

However, on Saturday(out of hours) the HoD from the second company sent an email offering me a significantly higher salary, along with some fairly unusual/custom terms to the contract. For example, they’ve said they’re willing to waive the usual in office requirement.

Now I’m really torn. Both are genuinely excellent opportunities, but obviously the extra money has made the second offer much more tempting. At the same time, I’m quite uneasy about the idea of having “custom” terms written into my contract, particularly when I don’t yet know how that might play out in practice.

I’ve already accepted the first offer, so my instinct is that the sensible thing to do is follow that through. I don’t want to end up in a “grass is greener” situation, and I also don’t want to rock the boat with the first company after they’ve already offered me the role and I’ve accepted it.

I think I’m probably going to turn the second company down and let them down gently, but I’m very split because the additional money and flexibility are difficult to ignore.
I know this is probably a silly question, but what would you do in this situation? Both companies work in fields I’m interested in and have been on my case about working for them quite a bit

I recently applied for two jobs that I’d absolutely love to do, both of which would be a major step up in my career and offer much more progression in the direction I want to pursue. I was fortunate enough to be offered interviews for both, with about five days between the two interviews.
After interviewing, I ended up receiving offers from both companies. I accepted the offer from the first company, which seemed excellent from both a salary and career-development perspective, and I was very happy with the decision.

However, yesterday (out of hours) the HoD from the second company offering me a significantly higher salary, along with some fairly unusual/custom terms to the contract. For example, they’ve said they’re willing to waive the usual in office requirement.

Now I’m really torn. Both are genuinely excellent opportunities, but obviously the extra money has made the second offer much more tempting. At the same time, I’m quite uneasy about the idea of having “custom” terms written into my contract, particularly when I don’t yet know how that might play out in practice.

I’ve already accepted the first offer, so my instinct is that the sensible thing to do is follow that through. I don’t want to end up in a “grass is greener” situation, and I also don’t want to rock the boat with the first company after they’ve already offered me the role and I’ve accepted it.

I think I’m probably going to turn the second company down and let them down gently, but I’m very split because the additional money and flexibility are difficult to ignore.
I know this is probably a silly question, but what would you do in this situation? Both companies work in fields I’m interested in and have been on my case about working for them quite intensely

Hi guys, I work for my day job as a Linux sysadmin so I’m used to building and working on observably platforms.

Recently I realised there’s a potential blind spot and I should see about extracting the same metrics from my gaming pc. I don’t want anything too fancy to start out with but before I do I was wondering if you guys have any suggestions on what works best for windows? My initial plan was to deploy Prometheus node exporter and build out a custom dashboard mainly just for the fun and experience

Hi guys I’m in the market for a new set of keycaps for my K10 board since the ones it ships with don’t have backlight shine through and since I’ve used it daily for work for nearly 3 years now they’ve worn smooth! I’m basically after a uk layout set of keycaps that allow the backlight to shite
Through. I don’t have a huge preference over colour as long as it’s similar to the generic one the board ships with. Thanks

Hi guys I’m in the market for a new set of keycaps for my K10 board since the ones it ships with don’t have backlight shine through and since I’ve used it daily for work for nearly 3 years now they’ve worn smooth! I’m basically after a uk layout set of keycaps that allow the backlight to shite
Through. I don’t have a huge preference over colour as long as it’s similar to the generic one the board ships with. Thanks