u/AgeOk8349

i’ve been on reddit before and spoke about how i wanted to stop using AI for emotional advice (things in my personal life) and i have!

I’m very proud of myself but the next bigger step for me is to stop using it for work and uni.

To preface, i am currently a nursing student. i use ai for studying purposes like giving me exam questions based off my personal notes and talking to it and reiterating information so it sticks.

i want to stop using AI totally (that is my goal) and i know a lot of ppl may just say “oh just get with it because AI is here to stay,” but tbh i don’t give a shit lol.

first year was rlly tough for me and now i’m entering my second year and im so proud of myself but i also want to challenge myself. i dont plan on cutting it out cold turkey but i do want to find ways to cut it out gradually. I got so used to using it in grade 11-12 but u was a great student before i started using it as well. I know AI is integrated in a lot of things but if i can remove it from personal parts in my life, that would make me happy.

i dont want any “just cut it out” or “just stop using it” comments bc those aren’t productive or helpful. practical advice is appreciated!

thank you :)

I feel like a lot of the things that I struggle with spirituality in the past year have to do with just “naming myself” in a spiritual group and being a part of a community rather than my connection with god (whoever that really is). I have dabbled in Christianity, Quakerism, witchcraft, Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, and now it feels like I’m back at square one where I first started. 
I realized this today, but I think the thing that’s been stopping me or blocking me is ego? 
In the past, I used to think that I just wanted a community or something or someone to tell me what to do. I just wanted to know what I was doing was “right” or “correct,” and I can understand the appeal of that when it comes to organized religion.  But going into it, I realized that this isn’t what I wanted at all. So I thought I would find community, and when I did, as nice and comforting as it was, it wasn’t what I wanted either. The comfort I gained from being around people who were welcoming and kind was a warm feeling, but just as fleeting. 
Recently, I have been reading the Bhagavad Gita, a Holy Book within Hinduism. And as much as I find it enlightening, it’s making me just as anxious as any other spiritual belief system. 
I find myself wondering: 
“Am I doing this right?” 
“Am I spiritual enough?” 
“Am I being calm enough?” 
“Do I have the right mindset?” 
This is going to sound inaccurate, but whenever I step into spiritual spaces, I can’t help but feel like a part of my humanity is being stripped away. And I know that for some people, that’s the whole point. But I don’t want my whole humanity to be stripped away. I want to feel connected to something that is more within me AND something that is beyond me. 
A few months ago, after watching video upon video on how to get started with your own spiritual path, someone said, “The things you need for spirituality are just you and nothing else. No rituals or materialistic things.” I was just as relieved as I was disappointed & confused. 
I don’t need all the extra stuff for spirituality. I don’t need the tarot cards or the incense. I don’t need the clothing or a specific lifestyle. 

And I was relieved, but also, how will I feel like I’m doing something? How will I be able to show off that I’m spiritual to the people in my life? How will I be able to validate and affirm to myself that I am spiritual with the archetypes and rituals? 

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but honestly, this is what it felt like. 

I was also disappointed because, honestly, having to accept that I am spiritual now, in this moment, and that I have been spiritual in every moment before felt disappointing because I wanted more than this – and I still do. I want spirituality to give me this new life, because honestly, I cannot stand the one that I’m currently living in. I’m only eighteen, but after abuse, chronic illness & physical pain, anxiety, and depression, every day feels like maintenance and survival rather than just living and enjoying my life. I try so hard. In everything I do. I try hard in therapy and in nursing school. I try to better my health, eat well, meditate, and sleep well. I try in my relationships to be kind and loving. I try to be loving to myself. All I do is try, and I hit a wall the other day where it felt like maybe that’s the problem. All I do is try. And I honestly don’t know how to do anything else. 
So, when people say “You don’t need anything to be spiritual; you are connected right now as you are,” it kills me. Because I want more than this. 

Honestly, I know that everyone’s story is different, and I’m embarrassed to say that I'm restless, uncomfortable, and impatient. And I don’t know why I’m posting this; I just felt like I needed to tell this to someone, or anyone who is listening and happens to read this all the way, because I’m stuck. 

Every day just feels like this endless trial & error, but when do I just get to be a person? 

hi i’m gonna keep this as short as i can.

i’m (18f) and ive had chronic widespread pain for abt 3 years now. i am also a nursing student so the pain has been hell for me the past year.

i was diagnosed with OCD almost a year ago, and i’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since i was 15.

i’m working with my doctor on a diagnosis and she thinks its fibromyalgia but to be honest idec abt the name i just want this to be over. it derails every area of my life. my energy levels, my sleep, my mood, my depression, my tolerance.

i’m also worried abt clinicals bc how am i gonna do this for 9 hours.

anyways, i read alan gordon’s book, “The Way Out,” and i really liked it. every single things is pointing to my pain being neuroplastic.

i started having headaches during 11th grade when i was studying the most, never sleeping, and having the worst intrusive thoughts of my life. i had sleep paralysis, insomnia, anxiety attacks, you name it.

i found that my pain went away when i finished my final exams for my first year of nursing school. the pain was gone for almost two weeks straight and it blew my mind. i woke up everyday expecting it to come back and it didn’t…until it did.

i did somatic tracking for the first time a few weeks ago when my pain was low enough and was predominantly in my arm and it went away??
i know the point of somatic tracking is for your brain to get to know your pain as NOT dangerous but it’s really hard.

i also tend to have a lot of pain when i’m home. my parents are..my parents and i have a lot of trouble feeling safe around them. they were pretty abusive as a kid and they aren’t any more now that i’m older but it affected me a lot. i don’t rlly like talking to it and ive been avoiding it in therapy bc it just brings up all these bad feelings and it also makes me pain 10x worse.

i just feel alone in this to be honest.

hey (18F) i’m entering my second year and my clinical placement.

i haven’t been officially diagnosed but i have fibromyalgia-like symptoms (currently working things thru w my doctor).

but i have 9 hours clinicals once a week, any nursing students or just healthcare providers which chronic pain/illness/health issues, how do you last thru the day?

im pretty worried abt that mental fatigue bc it makes it pretty hard for me to focus.

i want actual advice, thank u

hey i’m 18f and im gonna try and keep this short but just as it says in the title, after reading a little bit of the bible i feel like the more i read it the less i believe in it.

and i know that everyone has their own interpretation of it but man this is one fucked up book. there are a lot of things pertaining to slavery, and how women were viewed.

the thing i don’t get tho is that if a person IS aware of all these things said in the bible, why would the christian god be one you want to continue to worship? i understand not knowing fully or not being aware of it and then later realizing the claims being made in the bible, but if you know it already then why would u continue to worship a god who has done so many horrible things? why would u condone something like that?

hi, i’m 18 and i’ve been trying to figure out what i believe in for the past year.

i was raised in a christian family, but upon reflecting and looking at christianity for myself, it’s just not for me personally.

i entered exploring other religions, abrahamic and non abrahamic and there is nothing there that i feel like i need to give my life to? i’ve been labeling myself an agnostic and maybe an atheist for a while but ive also been thinking a lot abt subjectivity.

the side of religion can feel very ego-driven but so is the side of New Age spirituality and so is the side of atheism. i find that the issue that i had wasn’t rlly with religion but with people claiming certainty and also putting that onto others and removing their consent and choice for what they want.

i’m gonna be honest and tbh this may sound silly but i sorta believe that maybe everyone is a little right? in a sense of like, we are all seeing things subjectively. there isnt rlly a way to “know” if ur right objectively, but it’s just from personal experience. and i think that’s why ppl feel so strongly. but it still doesn’t change the fact that what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for all.

i’ve been thinking abt it a lot and i want to believe in something bigger. but i also don’t rlly want to proclaim this big knowing of this thing. i don’t want to be a part of this religious and spiritual war between ppl anymore.

i’ve been reading upon mysticism and it’s sorta what im going for. mysticism is just seeking personal experience with the divine or what others may perceive as god. i don’t rlly know WHAT god is and i think that’s the problem ive been stumbling into.

i feel like ppl say that god is love or the good feelings or connection. but that doesn’t rlly answer the question to me? like if god is love then why are we fighting over what’s right? it sounds so simple but somehow i feel like it’s supposed to be more complicated bc everyone has made it so.

idk i guess if god is just love then what’s the big deal? love is amazing don’t get me wrong, but why are we killing and hurting ppl over different opinions or experiences and forcing things that they don’t want? and then hating ppl in the name of love? it doesn’t make sense.

anyways.

i guess what im saying is i want to believe something, and i dont think i want to call it god (that word is kinda heavy for me at the moment lol) but i do want to experience the good feelings and love and give grace and kindness but i never know where to start so i stop before i even begin bc theres so much but nothing at the same time.

how do you pray? what do you say? some people say just talk but i tried that and the more i did it the lonelier i felt. idk where to start honestly on this “spiritual” journey. i dont feel like im someone who meditates everyday, or talks to the trees (no shade if u do that haha).

but i wake up, and go on a walk, then eat breakfast and watch a movie, then do work and call a friend. just normal stuff. sometimes i talk to myself to figure out stuff going on in my head and my heart but thats it really.

how did u start?

Hi! I’m 18F and I’ve been struggling a lot with anxiety for as long as I can remember.

I have gone to therapy and it’s helped to know o have support but it’s never really helped in helping me realize things that I didn’t already know.

I have a control problem — sometimes it feels like I’m my own overbearing parent. Like I said, things have been like this for a long time but at some point it built up and led to me having a lot of intrusive thoughts from OCD and chronic pain for the past few years. I’m not going into detail, but controlling myself when I was younger in a home with adults that were very out of control (emotionally and violently), controlling myself and being in my brain became quickly a safe haven.

To explain further, in the current state that I’m in, I am not hard on myself in a very “obvious” way. I’m not calling myself names or saying things like I’m worthless but it feels like every single things I do is being overly monitored by me.

Going to sleep early
Cooking
Going on walks
Meditating
Journaling

These are all good things on paper so of course it begs the questions as so why I’m so anxious because these things should have helped me tremendously to improve the anxiety and depression I feel.

It’s as if there’s a voice next to me constantly holding a clipboard and checking things off.

“Good job sleeping 8 hours”
“nice your cooking instead of scrolling”
“Good, your meditating it’s good for you”

Even tho the voice is encouraging and not blatantly harmful…it’s still watching, and being watched regardless of it being “positive” or “negative” can still have the undertone of pressure and need for perfection.

Imagine being a student, followed around by a teacher everyday that commented on everything you do.

You drink water — good job staying hydrated
You sleep a little early — good job sleeping early because you need too because it helps you body and brain and you have to be healthy

At some point you would just be like can you let me exist?

There’s this constant self monitoring I have on myself that I just cannot seem to turn off whatever I try. And it sucks even more because when I do things that “aren’t” healthy or “good for you” I feel so bad abt it and I obsess and
obsess and obsess.

With this influx of the self improvement movement it’s amazing don’t get me wrong, but bc of my own personal experience, I can’t seem to let it go and my brain just latches on to it. It’s especially hard bc I’ve had ppl in my life say things that further affirm the voice like “wow ur so healthy!” Or “wow ur so organized and know how to take care of urself,” but I don’t know how to live.

I’m calculating every single thing consciously and subconsciously.

If anyone has experienced something like this or knows someone experiencing it, do you have any advice for me? Therapy doesn’t rlly help bc since I KNOW this already, there rlly hasn’t been anything that they can to do help me.

Thanks in advance

Hi! I’m 18F and I’ve been struggling a lot with anxiety for as long as I can remember.

I have gone to therapy and it’s helped to know o have support but it’s never really helped in helping me realize things that I didn’t already know.

I have a control problem — sometimes it feels like I’m my own overbearing parent. Like I said, things have been like this for a long time but at some point it built up and led to me having a lot of intrusive thoughts from OCD and chronic pain for the past few years. I’m not going into detail, but controlling myself when I was younger in a home with adults that were very out of control (emotionally and violently), controlling myself and being in my brain became quickly a safe haven.

To explain further, in the current state that I’m in, I am not hard on myself in a very “obvious” way. I’m not calling myself names or saying things like I’m worthless but it feels like every single things I do is being overly monitored by me.

Going to sleep early
Cooking
Going on walks
Meditating
Journaling

These are all good things on paper so of course it begs the questions as so why I’m so anxious because these things should have helped me tremendously to improve the anxiety and depression I feel.

It’s as if there’s a voice next to me constantly holding a clipboard and checking things off.

“Good job sleeping 8 hours”
“nice your cooking instead of scrolling”
“Good, your meditating it’s good for you”

Even tho the voice is encouraging and not blatantly harmful…it’s still watching, and being watched regardless of it being “positive” or “negative” can still have the undertone of pressure and need for perfection.

Imagine being a student, followed around by a teacher everyday that commented on everything you do.

You drink water — good job staying hydrated
You sleep a little early — good job sleeping early because you need too because it helps you body and brain and you have to be healthy

At some point you would just be like can you let me exist?

There’s this constant self monitoring I have on myself that I just cannot seem to turn off whatever I try. And it sucks even more because when I do things that “aren’t” healthy or “good for you” I feel so bad abt it and I obsess and
obsess and obsess.

With this influx of the self improvement movement it’s amazing don’t get me wrong, but bc of my own personal experience, I can’t seem to let it go and my brain just latches on to it. It’s especially hard bc I’ve had ppl in my life say things that further affirm the voice like “wow ur so healthy!” Or “wow ur so organized and know how to take care of urself,” but I don’t know how to live.

I’m calculating every single thing consciously and subconsciously.

If anyone has experienced something like this or knows someone experiencing it, do you have any advice for me? Therapy doesn’t rlly help bc since I KNOW this already, there rlly hasn’t been anything that they can to do help me.

Thanks in advance

Hi! I’m 18F and I’ve been struggling a lot with anxiety for as long as I can remember.

I have gone to therapy and it’s helped to know o have support but it’s never really helped in helping me realize things that I didn’t already know.

I have a control problem — sometimes it feels like I’m my own overbearing parent. Like I said, things have been like this for a long time but at some point it built up and led to me having a lot of intrusive thoughts from OCD and chronic pain for the past few years. I’m not going into detail, but controlling myself when I was younger in a home with adults that were very out of control (emotionally and violently), controlling myself and being in my brain became quickly a safe haven.

To explain further, in the current state that I’m in, I am not hard on myself in a very “obvious” way. I’m not calling myself names or saying things like I’m worthless but it feels like every single things I do is being overly monitored by me.

Going to sleep early
Cooking
Going on walks
Meditating
Journaling

These are all good things on paper so of course it begs the questions as so why I’m so anxious because these things should have helped me tremendously to improve the anxiety and depression I feel.

It’s as if there’s a voice next to me constantly holding a clipboard and checking things off.

“Good job sleeping 8 hours”
“nice your cooking instead of scrolling”
“Good, your meditating it’s good for you”

Even tho the voice is encouraging and not blatantly harmful…it’s still watching, and being watched regardless of it being “positive” or “negative” can still have the undertone of pressure and need for perfection.

Imagine being a student, followed around by a teacher everyday that commented on everything you do.

You drink water — good job staying hydrated
You sleep a little early — good job sleeping early because you need too because it helps you body and brain and you have to be healthy

At some point you would just be like can you let me exist?

There’s this constant self monitoring I have on myself that I just cannot seem to turn off whatever I try. And it sucks even more because when I do things that “aren’t” healthy or “good for you” I feel so bad abt it and I obsess and
obsess and obsess.

With this influx of the self improvement movement it’s amazing don’t get me wrong, but bc of my own personal experience, I can’t seem to let it go and my brain just latches on to it. It’s especially hard bc I’ve had ppl in my life say things that further affirm the voice like “wow ur so healthy!” Or “wow ur so organized and know how to take care of urself,” but I don’t know how to live.

I’m calculating every single thing consciously and subconsciously.

If anyone has experienced something like this or knows someone experiencing it, do you have any advice for me? Therapy doesn’t rlly help bc since I KNOW this already, there rlly hasn’t been anything that they can to do help me.

Thanks in advance

Hey I’m 18F and I’ve been wanting to get something off my chest for a while.

I don’t know because I’ve been thinking a lot about a scenario I’ve had with a friend of mine and another friend. Before this conversation and situation, I was feeling off about this person but honestly it could have been my gut or my tendency to self sabotage my friendships like I’ve done in the past. There were a lot of things about her that I didn’t like or didn’t really approve of?
But I have this friend let’s call her Lara, and the other girl Sara.

Sara and Lara didn’t really hit it off the first time that we met in our first year of university. I hit it off with both of them. I spoke to Sara about it and she just said she didn’t really see her and Lara hitting it off and she seemed nice but just not the type of person Sara usually hangs around. Lara was upset tho. She felt as tho Sara didn’t like her and treated her differently. I told Lara was Sara said and Lara didn’t understand why Sara didn’t like her. Lara had claimed that she was kind, funny, sweet and friendly so why couldn’t Sara like her? I told Lara that it wasn’t personal and even I’ve been in situations where I just feel upon the first few impressions that we won’t get along personality wise and that’s ok, u move on and try ur best to make other friends. She even made a comment saying “I don’t get why she likes you and not me.” Which struck me wrong and still ticks me off when I think about it. She was having a tough time making friends at the time but it still rlly pissed me off.

Fast forward to the end of your first year, and Sara makes a comment about Lara. On call one day she tells me “oh! I heard something abt Lara, but wait… ur friends with her so never mind.” The lay out of that conversation made me feel weird. It it was really not a big deal she could have always told me. One day out of anger towards Sara and feeling like she wasn’t being a good friend, I told Lara. Which I regret. She started to worry and said that why didn’t I tell her sooner? Me and Sara were talking at the time so i said “that’s why I stopped talking to her,” but that rlly wasn’t the truth. I was just scared in the moment and didn’t want to respond to say something that made me look like a bad friend.

Anyways, fast forward a few weeks later, I bring up the courage to talk to Lara about something she does that bothers me — she makes a lot of comments on girls physical appearances. I called her and we talked over ft but she got defensive. Saying things like “well it’s because I grew up in that type of environment,” which I then said, I also grew up in an environment where adults commented on youths physical appearances. Then she said “well I know ur very sensitive to that stuff and like ‘everyone is beautiful’” and then she said “ok well u beat around the bush and im just more direct.” What was meant to be a quick 1 hour conversation quickly became 3-4 hours. We spoke back and forth and she had said “well if u agree with me sometimes about the comments I make, why are u upset at me when I make them?” And at the time I didn’t know, I explained that maybe it was just and ick but I think what worried me was that I was seeing a different part of her that I’ve never really seen of her. Like why am I friends with a person who justifies that her talking abt how people look is okay because they won’t ever known what she said. It’s fine to not always like what people wear or how they choose to style it but it’s their life? Saying things like “oh that makes her look unflattering can she not blend makeup?” Or “she would look better if she dyed her hair dark” to me is uncalled for. We don’t know this person and we don’t rlly have the right to talk about them and their appearances.
At the end of the conversation I felt worse and uneasy and I couldn’t sleep well. I woke up that morning feeling even more upset and angry than before.

Later on, I told her that me and Sara were speaking again and I didn’t know what I wanted out of our friendship but I just wanted to let her know bc I know if the roles were reversed, I would like to atleast be aware.
She called me and brought back the situation and said “I don’t know how you get upset at me for making comments on how people look for people you don’t know, but when it’s someone you do know ur fine with it.” She said I could do whatever I wanted but she just didn’t understand. I felt almost like she was trying to use what was brought up before against me to try to help her situation? I don’t really talk to Sara anymore but this situation has been on my mind for ever. We spoke about it already but I don’t know if I should bring it up again.

I feel like the situation has built up more now and the more I think abt it the more sick I feel and I just feel angry at her. It’s not the point that she made about Sara but rather that initial defensiveness that she had which led her to be passive aggressive towards me leading to those rude comments. She always preaches about communication but it makes me wonder if she’s a safe person to communicate to. It’s ok to be defensive. It’s fine to feel that feeling but why be passive aggressive towards me as a reaction to that emotion? Especially when I’m trying my best to be politely confrontational?

Knowing that she got defensive, I just don’t feel like she will hear me out if I bring this up again. I just don’t know what to do.

Hey, I’m 18F and this has been something on my mind for a little while now and I want to get better at it.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s pretty difficult for me to not gossip about people who I’m friends with.

To me gossiping is talking behind someone’s back harmfully simply for the sake of talking. I’m trying to find nuance and understanding in gossiping in comparison to just general, casual conversation.

For example, if a friend does something that bothers me and I talk to another friend of mine to share what happened and the goal of the conversation is to try to decide how I’m going to bring it up to this person, then to me that’s not gossiping or talking badly about another person but instead trying to work around this situation.

However, I’ve found that it’s really difficult for me to distinct the difference between talking to someone about something that my friend did or said that I found “weird” “rude” or “odd” and just gossiping.

Anyways, I always find that I feel bad at the end of the day after I have conversations like that but I always end up feeling better afterwards and I think it’s that initial feeling of relief I get that makes me come back to it over and over again.

I remember a situation where I knew someone who said something to me very passive aggressively and I was shocked in the moment and didn’t know how to respond. I spoke to another friend about this and she expressed that she shouldn’t have spoken to me like that and it was rude. That’s a smaller example but I guess I felt validated and relieved.

I’ve noticed that for whatever reason, I don’t always get that feelings of relief when I do end up just speaking to the person directly and resolving it. Sometimes it can be bc the person is defensive and just not hearing me out or really understanding what I said and just apologizing to apologize.

There’s a lot of layers to it but even tho I’m aware that maybe I shouldn’t be talking abt this person when they’re not around, I never do it with ill intention. As embarrassing as it is to admit, sometimes I do just want to complain and air things out instead of always over considering how everyone feels all the time and formulating conversations into this perfect box.

It’s sort of like having to be this bigger person constantly, and having to over explain and over consider how people feel. It’s exhausting. Maybe that on its own is the bigger issue but as bad as this may sound I want to be more “selfish” and “cold” I guess? I don’t know how to explain this further.

I’m not sure how to go about this. What do you all think?

I recently watched this video that popped up to my YouTube by the creator, ediyasmr and this was the title of her video.

I just wanted to share my thoughts abt it and also get some other perspectives on it bc I’ve been having a hard time with spirituality and religion in general for the past year.

For background, I’m 18F and in the past year I’ve been “deconstructing” I guess Christianity? I wouldn’t say that I was ever rlly Christian but I was raised in a Christian family/community and for a long time (and honestly still sometimes) I feel very gross abt myself because I like girls. Growing up I feel like my environment wasn’t ever really “accepting” but anyways. I explored Christianity for myself and figured it wasn’t for me and then honestly that religions in general weren’t for me. I explored spirituality and I felt even more confused and frustrated bc it made even LESS sense to me. So I’ve been agnostic for a while now and i honestly still am.

I watched this video and she explains the importance of discernment. She brings attention to two comments she got on a previous video.

One person commented on delusion and how what rlly enlightens people isn’t god but rather community and support in spiritual places and

the other comments on how archetypes (e.g., tarot cards) are empty constructs and how it is important to name things as they are. The commenter said that tarot is just thier brain interpreting images and playing with one’s own consciousness.

She agrees with both of these (and so do I) and went ahead and explained the concept of first order reality (your lived experience WITHOUT interpretation) and second order reality (your interpretation of ur lived experience).

For example: “the universe/god/source is sending me a message” — this is an interpretation (second order reality). But the feeling that you get which can also be called “a gut feeling” is a first order reality without words.
However (I just wanna preface), just bc it’s ur interpretation doesn’t mean it’s not valid or anything but some interpretations can be supportive and unsupportive, not necessarily “good or bad.”

Anyways, she goes ahead and explains this in different words using the Zen Buddhism metaphor of the finger pointing the moon.

finger = tools (e.g., words, religion, tarot).

Moon = ultimate reality through your own lived experience.

On one side (those who are religious/spiritual) may look at the finger and mistake it for the moon (e.g., “this deck knows my future” — they r dependent on the physical tool to know the answer which is where things like psychosis or delusion can happen).

The other side will look at the finger (e.g., tarot) and realize that it’s not the moon (does not show ultimate reality) and just throw the whole thing away (which was what I did).

Basically to summarize, the tarot acts as a mirror to help you reflect on what’s inside u rather than control your life. The cards don’t control wisdom but they help u search deeper within yourself and point you towards it.

Basically to summarize this whole spiel, how I see it is, the finger does not “give you the answer” and did not “plant things” in your heart, you already know subconsciously, and it’s just giving u the water and nutrients ur already planted seed needs to grow into a full-fledged plant.

I’m not making this post so people can agree or disagree but I guess I’m making it because I feel happy that after months of searching, this is the first time something within spirituality makes the most sense for me and helps me actually feel good bc for a while, spirituality just felt like a performative “be positive, raise ur vibrations” thing — which is all great! — but nothing really made any sense to my logically in my head. Both sides just felt fake. It’s great to strive to be better but honestly, life is gonna be shit like A LOT and plus social media spirituality lowkey just felt like another “productivity” and “self improvement” bs that is promoted to just make u feel bad like everything else on the internet 😭

I just feel like there’s a whole lot of fighting and ego when it comes to beliefs on both sides religious and spiritual and tbh that rlly turned me off from the whole thing. I don’t believe in god still tbh but I do believe in myself as silly as that sounds and I also do believe in room for mystery! I’m still “agnostic” bc i don’t know what I don’t know but I don’t think labeling ourselves as “spiritual” “Christian” or “atheist or agnostic” is even the POINT. Idk what the point is but it’s not that. I also feel like when u get hardened in your belief and heavily dependent on it, that’s where the fighting starts and things are changing constantly and ideas can change, grow, and adapt I think.

ANYWAYS LOL I might just be spitting mumbo jumbo — like I said I don’t know what I don’t know — but thanks for reading this far lol hope I didn’t bore u I’m just excited and rlly grateful i decided to click on that video. I feel like it gave me the permission to be in the place I needed rn.

Peace & love ☮️💞

Hi! I’ve been deconstructing for a short while and honestly trying to figure out if Christianity was ever for me. I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t and I’m trying to be more okay with it. I came across Buddhism, and it’s something I would like to explore more. But I found that I feel guilty or scared that I may be wrong.

Whenever I see people’s comments like “Jesus is coming” or “you are following false gods” not only do I get anxious but I also get upset. I feel like it’s taken a lot out of me to explore despite the fear I was feeling, and despite all that, some people within the Christian faith can’t seem to let others rest in their own faith and what they believe to be true.

Anyways, this has definitely caused me a huge step back. If your someone that deconstructed and is no longer practicing Christianity and decided to go on a more spiritual approach or practice a more non-theistic religion, how do you I guess reconcile with this or deal with it? Thank you.

Okay so hi I’m 18F and I met this girl on a sapphic dating app. We’ve been texting back and forth and I decided to just ask to meet in person bc I feel like over text u can’t rlly get an idea of who a person is.

Anyways, I need some advice on how to talk go girls.

I know that’s super cliche but I’ve been out as lesbian for almost 5 years now and I’ve never really had any sapphic friends. All of my friends are heterosexual and the advice they give me is more based off their experience with other guys.

This is the first time I’m meeting up with someone from this app PLUS she’s gorgeous and adorable and I don’t wanna fuck this up lmao 😭

I hate the default “ur so cute” or “ur so pretty” plus I’ve SAID THAT ALREADY.

Even if this doesn’t work in the long run, I feel like I’m going in with nothing.

What do I say?
How do I keep the conversation going?
Do I flirt or not?
How do I be myself while also being interesting?

Idk I know I’m overthinking this but based off of ur experience any help would be great. Thanks in advance!

Hi I’m 18F and I have chronic widespread pain/fibromyalgia. This is what doctors have used so far to explain my symptoms.

But I’m having a bad day and didn’t really have anyone else in my life who understands things like this first hand so I came here.

It’s been a rough year for me (but the better out of the three). My pain started when I was 16 and I turn 19 later this year.

I have bad days where I think about my parents and how passive they have been in terms of me getting sick. It’s been such a difficult journey having to deal with my pain and then having that extra layer of my parents and their comments.

In my last year of highschool I remember, my family doctor had recommended to my parents at the time to get me a therapist because he felt as though I was suffering and struggling with potential generalized anxiety disorder and depression.

My parents are Christian and I’m not religious myself but they prayed for me and that was that. No “how are u feeling about this?” Or “what do u think we can do to help support you?” Or “how can we help?” I was missing classes because the pain made me so lightheaded. Cancelling on plans with friends and family because it hurt too bad. Waking up in the middle of the night because the pain was everywhere and made it hard to sleep.

3 months later there was no comment on it. And then I had to be the one to ask if I could go to therapy. I went and turns out I have GAD and OCD (who would’ve thought). But I was struggling mentally and physically at the time. My mom went out of her way to tell me that she didn’t even want me to go but she said yes anyways.

Fast forward to this year and I introduce the idea of meds to them and I’m going to the doctor’s appointments on my own. It was rlly bad. All I remember my mom saying was “there’s nothing wrong with you” and everything just shattered. I had spent so much time in the past 3 years telling myself that maybe they weren’t the best at comforting or they were busy but she didn’t even believe that there was something wrong with me. Don’t even get me started on my dad..this post would be way longer if I went into all of that.

But it’s been months since then and I’m on the medication. I’ve met so many people this year and made friends who ask me more about how I’m feeling and who are there for me without even me asking more than my parents. I can’t wrap my head around it. And I also don’t know how to deal with the anger of it all.

The therapist I’m seeing and the doctor’s appointments ALL had to come from me. They go out of my way to let me know that they don’t even want me to go.

If I didn’t say anything or take any initiative they would have just left me there. And that thought literally kills me. I’m glad that I’m where I am today but I did it all alone and it kills me and I don’t know how to deal with the loneliness of this. I knew people wouldn’t understand but if my own parents aren’t here when I’m sick, how am I supposed to trust them with bigger problems in my life? I don’t think I can.

I’ve come to the realization that I am agnostic atheist (I think)

I’m 18F and was raised in a Christian household and initially, I thought maybe I wasn’t really connecting with Christianity because of the community of people who aren’t supportive or are passive and tolerating towards queer ppl (I’m lesbian).

But after exploring Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Quakerism, Christianity, witchcraft, and just general spirituality or even affirmative Christianity which is more affirming to LGBTQ+ folk I came to the realization that my lack of faith wasn’t coming from only a place of this feeling of fear bc of a lack of acceptance but just bc I don’t connect to it.

It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me? I know I’m asking for reassurance here, but am I falling short spiritually? Like not religious-wise but I just don’t really believe in anything? Nothing feels like it’s worth devoting the rest of my life too and idk why.

I still find myself trying to validate my sexuality through Christian religion and watching debate videos on religion and spiritual believes to almost “prepare” to defend myself but ik I don’t have to do that. I didn’t realize how isolating (??) I would feel.

I know that a lot of people have their own beliefs and have their own encounters either god but why do some have those encounters and not others? I don’t really know if I’ve had an encounter with god and when/if I do have an encounter, why would my first thought be that “this is god.”

I can understand stories of faith but isn’t there a difference between HOPING that something is true vs it factually being true? Maybe I have more to learn but I find that I always have to “fake it til I make it” when it comes to religious or spiritual beliefs and I guess I assumed everyone was just doing the same thing and when I realized that people really did believe it, I guess I felt lonely.

Because on some scale, despite ppl not being in a specific religion they have a spiritual belief of some sort and I just don’t. It doesn’t make sense in my head. Feeling one way is one thing but it’s like I prayed and prayed and it really just felt like I was talking to nothing. I felt nothing. And I have been exploring for years now.

Now, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible — I am agnostic after all lol — but I just don’t think it’s likely anymore atleast in the stage of my life I’m at. I used to think that maybe if something rlly bad happened it would kickstart something. But I have fibromyalgia for the past 3 years, and struggle with ocd and depressions every day but I never felt like I wanted god in that moment. If anything I felt more like I wanted community and people. Just to clarify if people did find god in their suffering I think that’s a wonderful thing — to each their own.

The most “spiritual” I’ve ever felt is when I feel connected with myself and with the ppl around me, but never when I’m banking on someone/something else. That doesn’t bring me any comfort.

I’m really trying to enhance my care kits. I’m a nursing student and placements r abt to be tough so I just need some encouragement w this everyday battle.

Thank u 💟

Hey, I’m 18F and I had an appt today for the chronic pain I’ve been dealing with since 2024.

Body aches everywhere, headaches, muscle tension and just pain (a lot of fibromyalgia symptoms).

I had an appointment today at a pain clinic where the dr said that “there was no cure and nothing really we can give or prescribe you.” And I know that. Chronic pain isn’t black and white but having a healthcare professional say it really hit me like “oh ok why am I going to these appts?”

When I go to these appointments, it’s hard to explain but it kinda makes me feel like I’m not doing the work? They tell me to stretch and move my body and eat well. And I’m not saying that doesn’t help but I’ve been doing that for almost three years now consistently. I was told to take Advil and Tylenol intermittently because according to research that’s helpful even tho I had explained that I did that initially when I first got the pain.

Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to just not tell people or complain abt it. Ppl never know what to say and that’s fine but when they do say things it’s critical. I call it shrug behaviour. Like “oh I’m so sorry 🤷‍♀️.”

I just feel so numb? Or disappointed? Or dissatisfied? I’ve had a tough time asking for help and when I finally have and decided to advocate for myself and be verbal abt what I’m going thru, that doesn’t seem to do anything either even tho people tell me to get help for it? It fucks with my head honestly.

Do I just stop talking abt it. Like ppl in my life who need to know know but do I just stop talking abt it?

Everyone makes me feel unrealistic for wanting the pain to stop? Like no one is saying that verbally but it’s indirectly insinuated. Or maybe I’m just interpreting it that way.

I wanna ask ppl who have fibromyalgia how u deal with it?

Hi! I’m 18F and I’ve been dealing with fibromyalgia-like symptoms since I was 15. I say “fibromyalgia-like” because that’s the diagnosis my doctor and I are suspecting but I haven’t gotten it formally diagnosed just yet by a specialist!

My symptoms include: headaches, brain fog, muscle tension & aching pain on my neck, upper back, lower back, arms, ankles and calves.

I’m asking this because I’ve been taking amitriptyline for the past 4 months and I recently noticed that it’s made me rlly sluggish and groggy in the morning. It’s partially a sedative, and it helps me sleep through the whole night bc my pain used to wake me up multiple times a night when it hurt too much.

But I’ve recently noticed with the dose increase, I sleep for 10-12 hours and wake up feeling like I could sleep another 5. I spend the first 1-2 hours of my day groggy and my brain and body feel heavy & tired which then makes my pain actually worse those first few hours of the day bc I don’t feel rested. It completely knocks me out but for way too long lol.

Last night I decided to not take my meds bc I wanted to test out whether or not it was rlly the recent dose increase or just my sleep routine (I have the bad habit of being on my phone right before I sleep). But when I decided not to take it I slept much later bc I was so AWAKE like my brain was ON. I was able to sleep “ok” thru the night but I woke up I wanna say 2-3 times bc my brain was restless and my legs were a little tense but fell fast asleep again. It was almost like I could hear my brain going in and out of thoughts when I woke up a little.

I’m up now and I feel great (no grogginess and no lightheaded ness).

If you have similar symptoms to mine OR have had Amitryptiline, what other meds do u recommend based on ur own experience? I have a doc appt soon and I want to bring this up with them but I still want one that has a good effect. I did only change my med dosage one month ago so idk maybe it’s a transition thing but it’s made me not want to take them bc I just feel horrible the next morning.

Thank u! I hope u all have an easy day ❤️

I’m lesbian (18F) and I grew up in a Christian family. It’s the same story we’ve all heard before (and a lot of us have gone though). They’re homophobic and not accepting. I’m closeted and battling mentally everyday with self acceptance.

How do you guys deal with that feeling of the inbetween. I know people say “well it’s just finding the right church” or “reading the bible for urself and really understanding what God meant” or “finding ur own definition of it.”

I’m out to my friends and the world is and has become more and more accepting — especially in the west.

But I can’t help but feel so sick. I don’t even know why I feel like I need validation from THIS religion? Like I just cannot let it go. There is a truly genuine part of me that wants to be a part of Christianity but I feel like this part is what holds me back. Things like “hate the sin not the sinner” or having to deal with consistent tolerance. I have put in so much work to just be able to bear with myself but I have moments like this where I just can’t handle it.

Maybe it’s bc it’s June and I’m feeling it all so much more. I don’t rlly feel like I have pride but I’ve been out for years now and it feels like I should. I’m neutral about it and I can tolerate myself but I can’t lie in so scared to just get into a relationship. I’m getting older now and I only will get older where people talk abt marriage and forming a family and I know that I some point I’m going to have to tell them, and I really want too. But I just abt to rip off this old bandaid (but it’s not safe).

Anyways, idk I just don’t know how to just say “well God loves everyone” without focusing on that ONE verse. I don really get how it works? Like do I not agree with everything in the bible?