u/Agile-Supermarket202

To be emotionally intelligent, one has to have the skill of emotional regulation. Being able to control anger, not letting it to turn into aggression is one or
the many ways in can regulate their emotions.

Since ADHD brains are impulsive due to executive dysfunction, I want to know how can one create that precious 10 second gap which is necessary to prevent anger turning into aggression. Since we fail to think and then act, I always fail to identify the cues like clenched jaws, heavy breathing etc when I’m angry and I end up being aggressive.

So folks who who have mastered the skill of emotional regulation despite having ADHD which makes emotional regulation difficult thanks to their impulsive behaviour and executive dysfunction, what helped you to develop the skill of emotional regulation and hence become emotionally intelligent?

TLDR: First love feels special because of all the firsts, and marrying your first love feels like a lifetime blessing. But sometimes marriages end due to bad luck or incompatibility. For those who found love again / remarried through arranged marriage: Do you still think about your first love? Can you miss them even if your second marriage is perfect and better? Did you ever regret the divorce during your second marriage?

I've heard that first love is always unique because of unique experiences such as the first kiss, holding hands for the first time, spending romantic moments with someone of the opposite gender for the first time, first date, first hug, first cuddle, being intimate for the first time, and when you end up marrying your first love — that one sweet love — it truly feels like a blessing for a lifetime.

Life / fate has different plans, and due to bad luck, compatibility issues, or both spouses simply drifting apart, their marriage ends in divorce.

For those who gave love a second chance, dated / found a match through arranged marriage, do you ever think about your first love, that one sweet love whose marriage ended in divorce? Is it possible for one to miss their first love even though their current marriage is perfect and better than their first marriage? Did you ever regret the divorce during the course of your second marriage?

PS: Used AI to refine the content and correct the grammar.

Got married to wife after 2.5 years of dating. The marriage lasted for 1.5 years, and then the separation happened. Currently, the separation between me and wife has been for 3 months, and wife has gone into no-contact mode. Extended family members are involved now. Wife has openly mentioned that she wants a divorce in front of my parents. The reason is incompatibility, lack of e regulation has made the marriage unsustainable.

I have lost all hope of reconciliation because wife doesn't want to try couple’s therapy and doesn't want the marriage anymore.

Folks who got separated in the past, have had their spouses go into no-contact mode, had extended family members involved in the separation, did you guys reconcile?
If yes, what actually worked and what didn’t work during the reconciliation process?

M32, dated my soon-to-be ex-wife for 2.5 years before I tied the knot. The marriage ended after 1 year and 4 months, and my wife has been separated from me for the past 2.5 months. She verbally confirmed a couple of weeks ago that she wants a divorce. The reasons for the divorce have been a mismatch in temperament and compatibility issues.

I'm curious to know the experiences of people whose first marriage was a love marriage, who then got divorced and remarried. Did you find your second partner through an arranged marriage setup, or did you fall in love again and then get remarried?

How is life going, by the way? How do you deal with the thoughts of comparing your first spouse with your second one? Especially for those who were on the receiving end of the divorce, how did you deal with the emotional turmoil, rebuild your life, let go of the habits and behaviours that led to the divorce, find the confidence to date again or put yourself out there to find a partner, and eventually get remarried? How did you overcome the guilt, shame and regret of your actions which would've contributed to the divorce?

I’m in my early 30s, married 1.5 years, and separated for 2.5 months. My wife verbally asked for a divorce, and I’m prepping for it—scrolling through YouTube videos on how men survive the mental agony and keep their heads on straight.

No kids, no joint assets, hoping for a clean mutual consent. Putting aside the gym, diet, and hanging out with friends: what actual tactical moves stop a divorce from wrecking you, your peace, and your family socially and financially? What do you do differently in hindsight to experience the least pain due to divorce and bounce back stronger, quicker and happier?

Used AI to refine the content and correct the grammar

TLDR: 32M, married 1.5 years after 2.5 years of dating, now separated for 3 months and heading toward divorce. Working on emotional regulation through therapy and medication since Nov/Dec 2025. Looking to hear from other divorced men: how did you rebuild your life (emotionally, mentally, financially, career-wise) after divorce, and how did you eventually find genuine, compatible love again?

I'm a 32 year old man who got married to my wife around 1.5 years ago after dating her for 2.5 years. I've been separated from my wife for almost 3 months and I'll be getting divorced soon. The reason for the divorce is my lack of emotional regulation and my wife's anxiety and PTSD. I've been in regular therapy and on antidepressants for my emotional regulation since November/December 2025, and even though my wife noticed positive changes in me and appreciated the effort I was putting into reducing my emotional outbursts and my hot and cold behaviour, a recent argument escalated to involve both our parents and her extended family, and she decided to part ways.

I've taken this as a lesson for a lifetime, learning how deeply words can cut, how much tone and emotion matter when talking to someone, and how people often don't remember the good things you've done for them, only the negative ones.

I know I still have a long way to go in improving my emotional maturity, regulating my emotions better, and working on my ego, my inferiority complex, my arrogance, and my outbursts. I've started guided meditation, which I do for 10 minutes after my regular workouts, and I've also turned toward spirituality, which has genuinely helped me become a calmer person.

I'm curious to know how other divorced men here became better versions of themselves. How did you rebuild your life, emotionally, mentally, financially, and career wise, after going through a divorce? And how did you eventually find genuine, compatible love and build a life with someone again? I've also restarted my hobbies such as sketching, playing the guitar, quizzing, reading which I had abandoned for a couple of years.

I’m a 32 year old married man and I got diagnosed with ADHD around 2 years ago. In addition to this, I was diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety. I’m currently on stimulants for my ADHD and Fluoxetine for my depression and anxiety.

Lately, I’ve lost all my friends due to my anger and egoistic attitude during an argument and I feel I’ll be loosing my wife too. I’ve been on therapy since January this year and it slightly has helped me to be a better person but I still have a long long way to go to. I still am egoistic, impulsive, short tempered and narcissistic.

What are the things I can do / habits I can develop to destroy my short temper, ego and narcissistic personality?