u/AgnosticMick91

My wife is extremely abusive. Acts psychotic, physical violence, murder threats, wants everyone she hates to die which is basically everyone she knows. We have a child and the abuse happens while my child around.

I think she is borderline schizophrenic with psychosis. Could also be BPD with psychosis. I don’t have an official diagnosis coz she won’t see a doctor

Some in my family think she is possessed. I don’t believe in it but when she is having and episode she sometimes look like a different person. Cross eyed, swollen lips and gets very strong. Her hands become like a rock. I have plenty of evidence of the abuse

Can someone who can do medium readings tell me if I will get full custody of my child? That’s my only concern. Can my child and I live an abuse free life post divorce. It will also help someone can find why she behaves the way she does. Thanks so much

My wife is incredibly abusive. I don’t think she understands or has any awareness of what she is doing. She is possible BPD/Schizophrenic.

Acts psychotic with our kid around. Like hysterically screaming, flailing her body, banging the floor, beating her chest and running sideways while hysterically screaming, passing graphic murder threats, slapping me, biting me all the while my kid present

She has paranoia and narcissistic tendencies. She has no empathy, compassion or any concern for other people’s emotions. She also holds a high paying job and does really well there. But then she will come home and curse her boss, colleagues and wants all of them to die. If someone in her team is pregnant, she will literally pray for the baby to die - biting her tongue making a hissing noise

We don’t have weapons in the house. Besides the slapping and biting, there is no major physical violence.

Has anyone had their abuser arrested for abuse like this? Or arrest is only for more serious DV? I keep watering down her abuse and convincing myself that this isn’t as bad. I have also gotten used to it and it doesn’t surprise me as much. It affects me but I am used to being a victim

Domestic Violence

My wife has been abusive for a very long time now. I have spoken to psychiatrists and they suspect either schizophrenia or BPD. She hasn’t been officially diagnosed yet coz she won’t see a doctor. She also has narcissistic tendencies

She is paranoid and will have episodes. We have a young daughter together and the episodes happen while my daughter is present

She loses control and will sit in the floor flailing her arms and body screaming hysterically and then banging on the floor passing murder threats. Graphical threats like I will slit the throat of the person she is mad at

She will run sideways beating on her chest and screaming hysterically

She has hit me multiple times on camera, bitten me while my daughter present.

She said many times in rage said she will kill people, my family or her colleagues. Most of the time these are empty threats

However she had a fighting match with her dad which she started. He has tried to hit my mom in rage.

I have proof of all this. If I call the cops during one of these episodes and provide proof, what will they do? Or if I take the evidence to the district attorney’s office or a DV detective (I don’t know is this position exists), what will they do?

I can alternatively call the mobile crisis line, but I have read they don’t do much and then she will be on a revenge spree. I just want some way to protect my daughter and preferably keep her with me all the time. At least most of the time

I cannot exaggerate enough on how bad this is. We live in NY (Not New York City).

I have sent an email to my attorney. They haven’t responded yet. We have had our i-140 approved and our date is current. We have a daughter who is a US citizen

When filing for AOS should we file an i-485 for her as well along an i-693 medical?

My car needs a bunch of work be done. All four brakes, couple of suspension work, struts and springs, transmission fluid and all four tires. Everything comes up to around $5k. I have 115k miles on it.

I thought of trading it in and buy something else. However I figured fixing and driving it is cheaper. I have had this car for 11 years and I was single when I bought this. Now I have kids and don’t want to have a car payment now with daycare and all

Anyways - can I put on RADAR DIMAX ALL WEATHER 
Grand Touring All-Season tires on this. It’s snow rated tires and comes up to less than $500 for four tires. It has good reviews.

My plan is to keep this car for another 3-4 years. Drive around 12k miles a year and tire has 50k miles warranty

I understand this forum cannot diagnose. I just want some pointers coz my wife won’t see anyone about what she does to us

I suspect paranoid personality disorder or schizophrenia + the psychosis.

She is suspicious of everything and thinks every action of other people has a malicious intent to get her. Example: her boss going with a colleague for coffee is coz they are talking about my wife and taking away some of her responsibilities. If the same colleague is a female, she wore a tank top two days later to entice her boss. In a week boss and the colleague is having a full blown affair.

This isn’t just one colleague and her boss. It’s the same patten with multiple colleagues with two different bosses.

Then she will come home and start ranting. She will start passing curses. Like boss’s children should die and how they must die. Like the roof falling on them or bleed to death. Then her body language gets very aggressive and she starts flailing her body, sitting on the floor hysterically screaming.

Sometimes she will slap me. She was paranoid about how my family was going to take our daughter away. All because they were playing with my daughter while we visited. Then again similar psychotic behavior beating her own chest and running sideways screaming in a tone that I really cannot define. It is a scream but in a monotone.

Most of her concerns are not true. Some of them absurd. She’d even accuse me of trying to have an affair if some woman talk to me in a party. Or she will accuse the woman of trying to have an affair with me. I have been isolated from most people now. I stay away from people fearing the backlash

I spoke to a psychiatrist as she was the one who threw schizophrenia as a probable cause. But she said, she can only assume without seeing the patient. I have tried to get my wife to see a therapist to begin with but that almost every-time ends up in an episode.

I am just posting this here wondering if y’all can offer me some advise

I don’t even know how to ask this question. Or if it will make sense. My wife is incredibly messy. Arranged marriage, married for 8 years. We live overseas

She eats a bag of chips walking around the house and some will fall on the floor. She will never pick it up. She drinks coffee on bed and then leave a half full coffee cup on the end table in a carpeted bedroom.

I do the laundry and organize the closet. I will stack up her pants. If she wants the pant at the bottom, she won’t slide her hand over the one and pull it without disrupting others. She will just pull and the stack will fall over. She won’t even mind to put everything back up. Everything will be on the closet floor until I go sort it.

Bathroom - toothpaste cap off and won’t put it back. Will press at the top of the tube and leave it like that. Water on the countertop and leave it like that. Her make up strewn all over counter top. The cap of her straightening spray falls to the floor, won’t pick it up. Hair all over the floor, dirty laundry, wet towel, hair dye stains. Her hygiene products won’t go into trash in the bathroom. Sometimes lying on the floor and I have to pick up. I am tired of cleaning this. This isn’t even regular chores.

She makes an omelette, will leave the broken egg on the counter top. Cuts onions, some spillover to the kitchen floor and won’t clean up. She does dishes, water on the wood floor. Even if I organize the kitchen it will be back to a mess the next day.

She has never done laundry of the bedding. I do it. She cannot even tell if it’s clean or not. If I don’t do it she will use it forever until maggots show up I guess.

Don’t even want to talk about her car. It’s interior is always in ICU

I am not super clean either. But I like basic cleanliness and hygiene. Keeping a house clean is not about cleaning always but minimize the mess making. Pick up stuff on the go. That’s half the battle won

I have spoken to her multiple times about this. She just doesn’t get it and I am at my wits end. The lack of empathy for how much time I spend cleaning and organizing and to not at least rip it apart is basic compassion

Add to my kids toys. At least my child in contrast to her mom won’t like any mess at all on her. She spills water on her dress, wants to change right away. She is messy with toys and all but personal hygiene for a 6 year old is exemplary. Thank god

She has other mental issues. I suspect schizophrenia/paranoid personality disorder. She’s extremely abusive. Totally alienated me from all my friends and family by lashing out at them. But that’s for another day

Any one here knows a reasonable independent mechanic who can fix a BMW besides the dealer and high line Motorsports.

My 2015 5 series needs a couple of struts, shocks, all four brakes and a guibo replaced.

The dealer and even high line is too expensive.

I test drove both Model 3 and Y. I loved how the model 3 drove. But I need more space. I am in my 40’s with a bad back and the Y will do me good. I am so conflicted. I have a daughter who is still in a car seat and her feet were on the center console on the Model 3 which I did not like. I am on a 5 series sedan now and she cannot even kick the air conditioning vents behind the center console

I live where it snows, but the roads are cleaned promptly. I am thinking Model Y RWD premium. It’s a little expensive for me. Should I just get the Y AWD without premium. I might change the rims. I hate the rims that come with it? Are there any major differences besides the facelift? Both the cars I test drove were premium models

I need to get used to regenerative braking. It was a little confusing at first. I still cannot kick off the love for M3, but Y is what will work for me

Anything I should know more? I am getting off the BMW purely coz I cannot continue paying thru my nose for maintenance

I painted my garage over the Memorial Day weekend. The builder left it bare drywall, taped and all. I did fix a few nail pops, sanded the entire wall and then bought a SW primer 200 and painted the walls and the ceiling. It kinda broke my back. The ceiling was too high and I hated it. The primer left a lot of streaks and I learnt that’s what primers do.

Then my dumbass chose three colors. White for the ceiling and gray for walls and charcoal for an accent wall. I did paint the entire garage in a day. It wasn’t perfect. The corners aren’t perfectly cut. It isn’t ugly but it isn’t perfect either

End of it all I ended up with neck pain, bad back and regret the whole decision to do this project over the weekend. My nose sill has a mark from that respirator.

I just feel so much for people who do this for a living. Real props to them. I get it, it’s their profession and they will be very good at this and get paid. But man, it was physically taxing.

I will never box something so much out of my reach in such a short period of time again. Lesson learnt. When I was rolling the last wall, I was literally mad at the wall. Thank god I painted the ceiling first. I am not proud of my work either.

Basically the title. Ten years of abuse. Not the classic love bombing and then abuse. It’s only abuse and sometimes sweet talk. The abuse is psychotic. My wife is not only a narcissist but I suspect also suffers from paranoid personality disorder

She will act psychotic when she doesn’t get her way. She will bite her tongue, yell and scream, let her hair loose and bang on the floor, scream and run sideways like she is possessed.

She has her own perceptions of people and then come home and start a rant and branch out and get really wild. I am constantly walking on egg shells and my nervous system isn’t nerving anymore. I am always scared and numb and doom and dread

We both are immigrants and been in the country for more than a decade. Neither of us are citizens or GC holders. We have a child and I am so scared to leave without my child.

I have no motivation to anything. I suck at work. I am so hopeless and just somehow pushing thru for my child.

Anyone feel like this?

I know this isn’t the place to ask this question. Y’all probably will roast me.

I drive a 2015 BMW 528xi. Bought it when it was 2 years old with less than 20k miles. Enjoyed the car all thru. The car as all BMW does had its share of issues. I had $4000 worth of repairs and warranty took care of it. Since 2020 I am easily spending ~$2k in repairs every year besides regular maintenance. Guibo, fuel injector, alternator, oil leak, suspension cracks and what not. Now it has at least $8k in maintenance pending. I haven’t done it yet. It has 114k miles and is worth < $5k

Life has changed and I cannot afford this anymore. I test drive a Tesla Model 3 recently. Did I like it? Yes and No. Yes it has power, drives itself and all. But it wasn’t as comfortable as my car. The model 3 driver seat is much smaller and I felt like sitting on a bench. I felt claustrophobic. My mind refuses to agree it’s but an iPad on wheels. There aren’t any buttons and y’all have to use the iPad for all controls.

It’s a RWD premium and I can lease it for $350/month. I pump $230 worth of gas in my BMW every month. I’d need $50 of charging every month. It has virtually no maintenance besides tires. So effectively I will have a car for $170 a month and some peace of mind with respect to what will break next fear.

However, after that test drive, when I got back into my car - I had a sense of relief. Sitting in my BMW there was this feeling of belonging and it’s my car, my type of car. Sitting on my seat felt good. The acceleration wasn’t far off. And I ain’t going to race.

However, I cannot afford another BMW. I just cannot. Should I bite the dust and get a Tesla? I am so conflicted.

My four year old who was with me - straight up said she didn’t like the Tesla. I just want to ride in daddy’s car. Model 3 is much smaller than a 5 Series

I drive a 2015 BMW 528xi. Had it for 11 years. Has 112k miles. For the last 6 years I have spent $2.5k on average on repairs and then $500 on regular maintenance. I checked and the last two months I have pumped $225 worth of gas each month.

The car requires all four suspensions, four new black ones that go on wheels, all four rotors and brakes, two guibos. Conservatively I am looking at $10k worth of repairs. And god knows what will break in the meantime. The car is worth $4k now.

I looked at Model 3 RWD leasing and it comes up to ~ $350 a month. $2k down. I live in Upstate NY. I am only considering this as a means to save money and some peace of mind.

Should I do AWD. We get a lot of snow but the roads are cleaned promptly. I don’t drive in back roads or dirt roads. Just highway and some city driving.

Is there anything I should know. The things the BMW offers are great interiors and a quiet, comfortable ride. I like the dash and something to look at while driving. I am not too fazed by the big iPad. That’s the only turn off at the moment.

I’d like some suggestions. It’s purely a cost saving attempt. I am tired of dumping money on a car that I truly hate at the moment. I may as well park my ego and lease a much cheaper EV or a Toyota Corolla. But I can’t bring myself to it

My daughter is 4. She has suffered from constipation for a good two years now. It’s kinda forced constipation. We give her fiber gummies, prune juice, fiber rich foods, plenty of water and what not. The issue isn’t really constipation but she will hold her poop and then it builds up. Then it hurts to pass and the cycle continues

She is fully potty trained and has no trouble with pee. I religiously make sure I put her on the potty everyday and make her go poo poo. It’s mostly uneventful although she struggles but will eventually pass.

If I am not home some evenings, her mom/my wife wont put her on the potty unless little one asks which is almost never and the next day its a struggle for both I and my daughter.

Tonight my daughter was sitting on the potty and was very hesitant to pass. She said it hurts and I don’t want to go poo poo anymore and kept asking me to look away. I generally sit by a stool next to her to cheer her up.

I was a little off today and told her ‘If you don’t push there will be spiders in your poop and they will start coming off your mouth’ knowing full and well she is scared of spiders.

She started crying hysterically, freaked out and pushed a Saint Bernard. Well, it was twice a Saint Bernard. I cleaned her up and then she kept crying ‘I don’t want spiders coming off my mouth’

I feel like an asshole. I took her to bed and she still is talking about spiders and scared crying. I assure her there are no spiders here and I will always protect her from spiders and will eat all spiders that come her way. She goes, don’t eat spiders daddy - that will hurt your stomach and cry again.

I have traumatized her. It wasn’t her regular crying. She is truly terrified. I feel like shit. If I make her sit on the potty everyday, there isn’t an issue. But I said something that scared her. No reassurance will make her buy it

I feel so horrible. I don’t even want - no it’s okay. Roast me. Cal me an idiot. I deserve it.

I live in the northeast. Builder finished my garage wall but did not paint as it is common here. I want to paint the garage walls. I am going to paint the ceiling white, and walls gray and one accent wall charcoal. I have painted before and have used painters tape, sanding and using both brush and roller. I am no expert and an entry level painter.

My question is - it’s a new drywall. 3 years old and has never been painted before. Should I paint a primer before I paint it?

The one thing that’s easier I guess will be I don’t mind the paint getting on the garage floor. I am going to epoxy the floor. With kids room or was carpet and I had to meticulously cover the floor and tape the baseboard and door and window trims. Garage doesn’t have any of that except two doors. At least that part should be easier. I have never painted a ceiling. Any advise. On how to do that?

I don’t know if this is the right forum.

My wife - she has always acted weird. She will pick an innocent comment/action out the blue and start ranting like she is under attack.

Example: 1 - her boss takes a new employee for coffee - she will come home and rant that her boss is talking about her to the new employee and he is going to give all her work to the new guy and she is going to get fired

Example: 2 - her boss talks friendly to a female employee - they both are having an affair. Later she will start watching them and start making stories. That female employee is wearing more revealing clothing and they sure have an affair and he is now favoring her over my wife.

Example: 3 - my mom wore a red dress while on FaceTime and she is doing this to get back at her coz my wife wore a red dress for Easter in 2017 and posted a picture

Example: 4 - my sister bought a new car 2 months after we had a child as a way to get back at her coz she doesn’t have a new child now and is showing off

These are all just few examples. She has something like this every single day about so many different people, different situations

Now the rant gets crazy and she will start passing murder threats. The anger builds up and she will start biting her own tongue, gesture hitting people, beat her own chest, let her hair loose screaming and banging on the floor, run sideways all the while screaming. If I don’t listen she will get even more agitated. She will act in a hurry and knock down anything in her way

She will then graphically explain how she will kill her colleague, my sister and all. Like she will hit them on their head with a rock or slit their throat or their roof will fall on them and they will die. All coz she is paranoid or suspicious of someone’s intention

The issue is it’s impossible for me to get her out of it when she has an episode. She does this all the while my daughter is around.

Recently we were in a party and one woman came and sat in the chair next to me. We were chatting for a few mins. Just normal weather, how is work small talk. My came back home and started ranting on how I was going to start an affair with her. Apparently this woman was accenting her breasts and walking away from me so I will look at her ass. Not even remotely was I checking this woman out.

I am thinking paranoid personality disorder coupled with narcissism. She won’t see a therapist or psychiatrist and constantly blames others for her outbursts. I am stuck

There are people in my family who think she is possessed. With all that is happening I am slowly doubting this possibility even though I don’t really believe in demonic possessions