u/Ancient_Bag_9676

Everything in my life has been starting to turn around for the better, which is terrifying so of course I’m self destructing. I know I am.
I glanced at my husbands messages to his best friend, and the friend sent my husband a meme along the lines of:
Wife: I know him better than anyone
Best friend: oh yeah? What’s his girlfriend’s name?

My husband also was sharing political memes that oppose my beliefs and what he talks about with me. He also was venting about the church we started going to and his friend was saying it’s a cult etc.

I know it’s wrong to look at the phone. But I did.

This has all stirred up such emotional conflict within me, feeling like he lives a double life and feeling like our life is a big lie, a big elaborate trick at my expense. I read those things last night and today we have had terrible conflict which ended up with me saying I want a divorce and him telling me to file the papers.

We’ve been together for over ten years, most of it tumultuous. I feel so awful inside and I know that this is mostly on me.
I’ve started going to therapy this year, got completely sober, starting working, taking care of him when he got diagnosed with schizophrenia this year which I helped him get stable for months.
I have no family and only a couple of acquaintances besides our kids. I’m scared. I feel guilty and worthless and like I always mess things up.

I (30y,f) at six feet tall, do not move my body much. I work 40-60 hours a week on my feet, but that consists of mostly standing and pushing buttons. I haven’t weighed myself in a while but I’d guess I’m up to about 300 lbs, carrying most of my weight in my belly.

I got sober this year. I found comfort in takis and ice cream and candy. This month I’ve busted through two pairs of jeans, which tells me I’m bordering the largest I’ve ever been. I don’t want to learn where they sell a bigger size.

I’m tired of being this size.

My body hurts, even when I’m sleeping.
I had to start wearing diabetic socks after my regular socks started cutting off the circulation when my feet would swell after a 12 hour day.
I’m pretty sure I have sleep apnea due to my weight, which I will be making an appointment for soon.

I’ve had success with weight watchers before, but I’m nervous about the monetary commitment as I have backed out before, and I’m not in the best shape financially, either.

I’m considering a membership with planet fitness, but I don’t know how to exercise. My whole family had sedimentary lifestyles growing up, and most of them died young because of it.

I don’t want to have these excuses anymore. I don’t want my children to bury me at an early grave.

I quit drinking this year. I stopped getting high. I got a good job. I got my own place. Now I need to lose the weight.

I’m turning 30 soon and would like to class it up. I know that some people in my small town may never see me as more than trash (I’m cool with it).
Do you believe people can change?

I have and I wish pictures were allowed. It was a really huge oven.

My children are about to have their own rooms, they are seven and eight. Wondering what everyone’s experiences are! Thanks!

I started my job about a month ago, and a new girl started two weeks after I did. I like talking to her, and I have a lot of empathy for her because her mom died a week ago while she was there surrounded by strangers. I talk with her daily- but she constantly comes back from break 2-3 minutes late and no one else on the assembly line does. People are noticing and gesturing to each other and making comments about her getting written up. I personally couldn’t care less, I watch another guy break three rules a day- it doesn’t affect me so I mind my own business.

That being said, would you tell the co worker, or let her get herself fired? (We are both in a probationary period with our employer).

I’ve played out telling her in my head that other people are noticing and making comments, and in my head she asks who is talking about her, and inevitable drama.

I was a new employee at work, and each new hire got to have a “cool experience”. Mine was meeting Beyoncé- we were in a really rough area (I fell asleep watching videos about Mississippi) and she was taking me through this abandoned house, and each room had something different going on in it. It was extremely dilapidated- the ground was covered in stuff and she was wobbling through it in her heels looking stunning, (ponytail Beyoncé), and we finally make it back outside and start walking the neighborhood. She gave me what was supposed to be an expensive purse for dream land, but in real life it was one I got from goodwill. She told me she bought this purse twice a year to carry nail polish in, and it had a couple nail polish stains on it that made it more “authentic”. Somehow I knew she was going to gift me this purse. I began crying and explaining how much Destiny’s child got me through as a struggling kid- the whole time she was kind and happy. Then I “woke up” an hour late for work at my new job. I frantically got ready, planning to ask the other new hires what their experience was, knowing no one would believe me that I met Beyoncé… and then I actually woke up. (Unless this is a dream too)

Inception!

For us, only I (wife) am allowed to fart in the common areas 😂

We’re laying in bed and I say in horror… Did you just FART?! (It’s chili night btw) as I let one loose.

(It’s not a real rule… but I do love to give the man a hard time)

Her birthday is in September, but I want to give her a summer party. I was wanting to send the invites out before the end of the school year to her classmates.

Should I mention that there will be no life guard on duty and the parents are responsible for their child, or is that a given?

Should I put what she’s interested in for potential gifts, or is that presumptuous? The goal is presence, not presents- but what seven year old wouldn’t like a couple gifts?

We recently went no contact with almost all family, I just want her to feel the love.

We’re planning on grilling burgers and hot dogs, maybe a couple sides, and providing pops and waters and maybe some juice pouches. Is there anything I’m not thinking of? I’ve never thrown a big party like this has the potential to be. Also, how do I pick the date? I’m thinking a Sunday would be best.

He’s in a world that I, his mother, am not. He loves video games and other things that I don’t know much about. He’s showing an interest in comic style books, and expressed that he wished he had “real” comics… so I’m asking Reddit!

I’ve been dry since new years and have no desire to ever drink alcohol again. That being said, I’m turning 30 this October and am thinking about mocktails. Personally, I used to drink beer and whiskey. Never was a cocktail person to begin with. I’m just wondering if anyone has found them to be triggering.

I’ve never been to a meeting, and I don’t have any sober friends. I don’t have any friends at all, actually, since I’ve cut ties with my drinking buddies too.

This is a reputable company, I went in person at the job site for an interview, and before that I had a phone screening where they told me the hourly rate that people usually start out at. This is an at will company and it’s known locally for having great health insurance. I’m desperate for a job so I wasn’t in a position to question an offer. I also won’t know what department or shift I will be on until after the week long orientation is over, which starts on Monday. I’m terrible with confrontation and I fear if I reach out and ask, something bad will happen. (Probably irrational, I know). I need to know how much money I’m to be making. What are my options?