u/Ancient_Bag_9676

Her birthday is in September, but I want to give her a summer party. I was wanting to send the invites out before the end of the school year to her classmates.

Should I mention that there will be no life guard on duty and the parents are responsible for their child, or is that a given?

Should I put what she’s interested in for potential gifts, or is that presumptuous? The goal is presence, not presents- but what seven year old wouldn’t like a couple gifts?

We recently went no contact with almost all family, I just want her to feel the love.

We’re planning on grilling burgers and hot dogs, maybe a couple sides, and providing pops and waters and maybe some juice pouches. Is there anything I’m not thinking of? I’ve never thrown a big party like this has the potential to be. Also, how do I pick the date? I’m thinking a Sunday would be best.

He’s in a world that I, his mother, am not. He loves video games and other things that I don’t know much about. He’s showing an interest in comic style books, and expressed that he wished he had “real” comics… so I’m asking Reddit!

I’ve been dry since new years and have no desire to ever drink alcohol again. That being said, I’m turning 30 this October and am thinking about mocktails. Personally, I used to drink beer and whiskey. Never was a cocktail person to begin with. I’m just wondering if anyone has found them to be triggering.

I’ve never been to a meeting, and I don’t have any sober friends. I don’t have any friends at all, actually, since I’ve cut ties with my drinking buddies too.

This is a reputable company, I went in person at the job site for an interview, and before that I had a phone screening where they told me the hourly rate that people usually start out at. This is an at will company and it’s known locally for having great health insurance. I’m desperate for a job so I wasn’t in a position to question an offer. I also won’t know what department or shift I will be on until after the week long orientation is over, which starts on Monday. I’m terrible with confrontation and I fear if I reach out and ask, something bad will happen. (Probably irrational, I know). I need to know how much money I’m to be making. What are my options?

Any tips on how to prepare myself? It’s been a while since I’ve done “hard work”. I need this job to work out.

The company I just got hired at offers 50% employment matching up to 6%. Should I just plan on putting the whole 6% in every week?

I’m not even that sure how a 401k even works but I know it’s important to save money.

I do know that I need to save as much of my check as possible to work towards some big goals that I have (getting me and my family a place to live and a reliable vehicle), and I do know that when I achieve these things, money will be tight. Is it ever not worth it to invest in the 401k? Or should I just start contributing as much as I can?

For some background, I grew up extremely poor, I couldn’t do almost anything that I preferred. A car ride to the school for a play was too much gas. A new computer game was too expensive, I played the 60 minute trials. I could go on…

When I started working in the factories at 18, I got a taste of having my own money. I got a taste for a lot of other things too- let’s just say, I’m turning 30 (f) this year, and while I’ve *had* money in my hands, I still have no money in my hands. Anything I wanted, I would treat myself. I never could save any money, it did always feel like I needed this or that. I got lucky (or so I thought) one year and got a big tax return, and put every dollar of it on a house that I could barely afford. No one in my family had ever bought a house, and I was trying to make something stick. I knew when I bought it I didn’t want to live there long term… an impulsive decision that I made by myself. Big things started to break down in the home that would cost *a lot*. Excavating mine and my neighbors yard type of money.

A year after I got the house, my mortgage went up. I was already living beyond my means, and I didn’t know the mortgage could go up. (Hindsight, lessons learned, judge me if you must)

A year after that, the house foreclosed. I spent the next year unemployed living with my MIL, just giving up on any future- I had a big failure and didn’t think I’d come back from it.

Okay- now we’re caught up to present day.

Next week, I start a new job back in the factory world. I’ll be making money again. I want to find an apartment and I will need to buy a new car- I’m going to have to actually save money for the first time in my life. How do I avoid temptation of spending money on convenience? We have two kids, and no other support outside of my MIL letting us stay here- I get so exhausted that I take the easy more expensive ways out sometimes- stopping for a burger instead of dirtying the kitchen. Going further than I need to/ wasting gas. Not planning my day/ making extra trips to town because I forgot something.

Basically I know what my flaws are, I’m self aware, so the real question is how do I build discipline? Where do I begin if I want to take it one small step at a time? I want to be addicted to saving money. I have made some DECENT money in my life and right now I have nothing to show for it and I’m about to turn 30.

Please go easy on me, I’ve had no role models in my life and I am trying to turn things around.