u/Bananasinpajaamas

It will be our 2nd date and so far I really like him. First date we met up for lunch and had such a great time we kept it going and went for ice cream and a walk. We had a nice kiss when he walked me to my car. That was last weekend and we’ve texted and/or talked on the phone every night since.

He invited me over tomorrow to his place, he’s cooking dinner. I don’t want to be naive if sex is implied in these situations. Would it be weird to ask him what his expectations are?

I’m conflicted and probably overthinking because I do like him and wouldn’t be totally opposed to hooking up, but I’m looking for more than just a hook up and would like a LTR ,so I don’t want to be put in a certain category. I’ve had experiences in the past of being intimate too early and feeling used after because things change up.

I guess I need to use my big girl words and just communicate, but I’m curious what is the general vibe is with this type of situation.

Drove to target earlier today and there was a pretty sizable crowd on Dana and Churn Creek wearing masks, costumes, and holding signs saying “dead pedophiles don’t reoffend.”

Genuinely asking, what is the point of this? Am I missing something? Aside from there being a lot of sex offenders in Redding.

Before anyone tries to twist my words, I’m in no way supporting pedophiles, justifying their behavior, feeling sorry for them, or anything like that. I’m a parent of a young daughter and think people who sexually abuse children are scum of the earth.

But I guess that’s my point, I feel like most if not all people feel like this. Isn’t this a universally agreed upon stance? So what are we protesting? Is there some type of call to action?

One of the signs said, “SAVE THE CHILDREN!”
Ok? How? What are they proposing?

Is the thought that some pedo is gonna be driving to Home Depot, see the signs, then think oh ok I bet not reoffend. I just don’t think that’s how it works.

They’re not hurting anybody out there and like I said it’s a message pretty much everyone can get behind just kinda seems like attention seeking and virtue signaling if there’s no actionable plan for change.

Anyone have more info?

I see that often in bios in dating apps. Men say they’re looking for a woman who is feminine or “soft.” I’m going on a date this weekend with a guy who said he is looking for a woman with “feminine energy.”

Maybe I’m overthinking or maybe I just view things too black and white but I have no idea what this means when men say this. Being a woman I feel like is inherently feminine. So wouldn’t all women be feminine?

Now in terms of appearance, I understand that may vary. But I don’t get the sense that men who say this are talking about appearance, but instead character or personality traits.

If you’re one of these guys that are seeking a feminine woman, what exactly are you looking for? How should I do this when I’m on a first date?

EDIT: ok this kinda blew up and it’s so interesting to see the range of responses, it really is subjective is what I’m realizing.

I’m doubting if I’m what he’s looking for honestly but I’ll guess we’ll see come Saturday!

In terms of appearance I feel like i’m very feminine. I’m fit, have long hair, my nails are always polished, i wear makeup but don’t overdo it, my wardrobe consists almost entirely of dresses and skirts (im in California and it’s hot af). My personality is kind, warm, bubbly, ive often been compared to a “kindergarten teacher” in terms of personality.

However, I value education Andy accomplishments . I have multiple masters degrees, ive done well for myself in my career, I make over 6 figures. So I’m definitely not the sit at home cook, clean, barefoot and pregnant type. I do those things but there’s so much more to me.

So if, obedient, submissive, subservient is his meaning of feminine we likely aren’t a match.

My daughter just started kindergarten and she has twins her in class. Kharsyn and Khandiss. I guess the parents were really committed to K names…

I’m very new to dating after divorce. I’m taking things slow but enjoying the process. It’s early stages, but I met a man and things have seemed so promising. For the first time in YEARS I’ve felt sparks, butterflies, hope. He’s been intentional, thoughtful, and put in effort.

We’ve talked daily on the phone since meeting, we joke that it’s like we’re teenagers again. Through all of our talks I never directly brought up politics but we have discussed religion, family, social issues, etc, and so far have seemed aligned.

Well last night we were out and he went on a rant about Dr. Fauci, completely out of no where. It was so awkward and off putting. He went on to say that getting the Covid vaccine was “the worst decision of his life” and then went on to ask if I was vaccinated. I’m sure he could tell my mood and demeanor changed because he then said, “let’s change the subject to happy things.”

I’m pro science and hate that it’s been demonized and politicized. I work in behavioral healthcare.

I’ve never known what getting the ick meant until now. I’ve been so down all day because I really liked this man and although it was early we seemed so compatible, said we wanted the same things, and I guess I just got ahead of myself thinking “what if?”

I can understand skepticism or even distrust of the government but I can’t ever be with a MAGA man. I’m worried I’m blowing this out of proportion though and overreacting, that maybe it’s not an insurmountable difference. But on the other hand I’m just so sad this is the state of the world. Then I’m like damn am I part of the problem? Can relationships work with differences of opinions? Sure, what if he’s demonizing Dr. Fauci what else does he believe?

Anyone else have an experience like this? How did you handle it?

I have 162K in federal student loans. I got my letter from advantage on July 2nd to switch. I’m not sure where to go from here. I’ve seen some people say they’re going to switch on the 89th day, some who will do nothing await to get kicked off, others who are awaiting the outcome of lawsuits, the options are overwhelmingly.

I made 105K last year, husband makes around 50K-60K. Married filing jointly. My income this year increased substantially as I have 2 jobs now my 105K job plus another 115K. One is remote the other in person at differing hours so I’m managing, kinda, but don’t anticipate this to be long term since it’s stressful.

Anyway back to the loans, they were taken out 2011-2014 I believe. Advantage says forbearance until 2028 but I feel like I have to do something within the next 2 months. I have been on SAVE but admittedly hadn’t recertified my income.

Are IBR or standard repayments the only options? Given my income would IBR even be worth it? I’ve seen some people say take classes at a community college id of course pay rather than take out new loans but unsure if that would make any meaningful difference.

Just trying to explore my options and plan out my next step any advice or insights would be great.

Thanks!

I’m in my 30s and have never been summoned for jury duty until now. For some reasons I’m having terrible anxiety thinking about all of the possibilities. I feel like I have some legitimate reasons but with no experience in this department I’m not sure. Posts in this sub are kinda all over the place as well so idk what to think. Follow my anxious stream of thought here for a minute.

•It was mailed to my grandmothers house, i have moved around a lot so i use her address because it’s a stable permanent address. I do not live there so I feel like I have a legitimate argument that I never received it? But I’m scared to ignore it and get in trouble.
•I am a single mom to a 4 year old, since it’s preschool it’s not a full day. I need to be able to pick her up at 1:10pm. I’m really stressed at the thought of not being able to pick her up.
•My state only pays $15 a day, which is a joke. I work 2 jobs one salaried and the other is independent contracting. If I don’t work I don’t get paid, isn’t that a legitimate reason?
•My dad was in state prison for 24 years for vehicular manslaughter. Does that count for something?

I live in a pretty rural area with a lot of petty crime and drug use. I have a good career and masters degree, I’m worried they’ll think I’m qualified.

What if I go in and say I think the justice system is corrupt and police should be defunded? Will that get me off?

I honestly wouldn’t mind doing jury duty itself I find it kind of interesting, it just would cause me a lot of strife, hardship might not be the right word, but I’d be losing out of money and probably have to pay childcare I normally wouldn’t so it’s a far from ideal.

What should I do here?

It honestly took me awhile to decipher what I was looking at when I saw her name on the checklist. Then she walked into my office and introduced herself, Julia.

What kind of tragedeigh is this spelling? And why?! It’s just so unnecessary. Maybe I’m just old, she’s a very nice girl but every time I have to type her name I become irritated.

Or Latino? Asian? I’m loving this season so far but genuinely curious as someone who lives on the other side of the country. All of these ladies look exactly the same, is there any diversity there?

I was on doxycycline for 3 months and it worked wonderfully. Had only a handful of pimples the whole time. Pretty much instantly after stopping doxycycline the acne is back. I’m not seeking medical advice, just commiserating on how out of my control this all feels.

I’m also on Tretinoin cream 0.025%. I tried adapalene previously to no avail. I try to eat clean, I drink tons of water, aim for 100oz a day. I change my pillow cases religiously. I’m consistent with AM and PM cleansing as well as SPF. But it feels like this is so out of my control and I’ll have acne forever unless I’m on an antibiotic which isn’t sustainable long term.

It’s just so discouraging when hygiene, diet, and routine aren’t the culprits so you’re just at the mercy of your body.

Yes I’ll talk to my PCP, yes I’ll follow up with dermatology, I’m just looking for encouragement and curious if anyone has had success with life after doxycycline and what eventually helped?

I was on doxycycline for 3 months and it worked wonderfully. Had only a handful of pimples the whole time. Pretty much instantly after stopping doxycycline the acne is back. I’m not seeking medical advice, just commiserating on how out of my control this all feels.

I’m also on Tretinoin cream 0.025%. I tried adapalene previously to no avail. I try to eat clean, I drink tons of water, aim for 100oz a day. I change my pillow cases religiously. I’m consistent with AM and PM cleansing as well as SPF. But it feels like this is so out of my control and I’ll have acne forever unless I’m on an antibiotic which isn’t sustainable long term.

It’s just so discouraging when hygiene, diet, and routine aren’t the culprits so you’re just at the mercy of your body.

Yes I’ll talk to my PCP, yes I’ll follow up with dermatology, I’m just looking for encouragement and curious if anyone has had success with life after doxycycline and what eventually helped?

I am not fans of either of them but it was a very touching scene on the beach listening to them talking about their parents who have passed and supporting each other. Made me cry like a baby.

As boring as this season has been, I do appreciate the real life topics they cover. I have fallen in love with RHORI but those ladies live lives I can’t even imagine. It’s a different type of entertainment. But the valley covering the difficulty of parenting young kids, post partum struggles, rebuilding after divorce, and losing your parents are all so relatable and I appreciate that.

Anyone know of organizations that assist with pet rehoming? Trying to help out an elderly family member get their affairs in order as they are moving into a long term care facility. Need to find a new home for their dear sweet cat.

I’ve reached out to haven humane and they aren’t accepting any cats right now. I’m new to this so not sure what other options there are.

We would keep him ourselves but we’ve got 2 dogs that don’t play nice.

Let me know if you’re aware of any organizations that facilitate rehoming of pets.

Thanks!