u/BaraQueenbee

Short context for those who don't know my background:

From East Europe - living in extreme poverty.
Now living in USA since a few years on a 65 acre farm with 6 dogs, horses, 100s of chickens and the most beautiful amazing husband, and 2 extremely thriving companies.

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My current problems are the predators that try to murder our animals (bears, skunks, minks, mountain lions, foxes, hawks, owl) plus every challenge that comes from living in a fixer-up farm house that is in the progress of being renovated.

The predator thing has been an extremely exceptional and long problem for the last 3 weeks: after the first bear attack that killed about 80 percent of our chicken coop (regardless of the electric fence, closed coop etc) - it's been an on going challenge where it's us vs. the predators.

Both husband and I are running on 3-4 hours a sleep a night plus running both of our businesses plus being responsible for the well-being of our large animals.

Most of the time I am walking around like some red-haired zombie.

BUT - and I guess this is where I am going with this.
None of this frustrates me or creates excess potential.

let's be clear, I want to have good night sleeps again and I want all my animals to be safe BUT these are the challenges that came with having the dream life.

These problems wouldn't exist if it wasn't for having my dream life.

I am working on moving into the slide where the predators are chill again (like they were last year) - but until the predators and pendulums do - I am here doing what I can and do - I am in an oddly truly grateful and optimistic mood - and I am not fighting reality or getting frustrated in the moment with the situation.

I can't wait to have the problems of my even bigger dream life! A bigger ranch and all that comes with that.

For now - grateful for how life is now.
Including the mess.

I am doing a full round of “Transurfing in 78 days”- book by Vadim Zeland.

If you've seen my other posts you have probably noticed that some days have been a repetition with that's practice of the day, on repeat.

When I started reading and practicing RT, I found myself somewhat skeptical of the nonchalant and "go pick up a newspaper" mindset.

I am someone with a huge drive, a big life already and even bigger dreams.

Who would I be without that?

I am finding myself more and more often throughout the day completely apathetic towards the future.

Because the future isn't OUT THERE (points far in front of me) for me to get.
It's literally just the slide moving in time with the right script.

I have found more energy, joy and way more inspiration since this practice and I am extremely growing in my gratitude for the current moment.

No insecurity about whether or not my dreams will happen of course they will not.

They are already happening.

It’s my mals birthday next week and we’re planning on making it a whole event!

(Just our 6 dogs, us and maybe some people visiting)

What to do?

I was thinking of getting a dog birthday cake
Lots of new toys
Lots of cardboard boxes
Nose and paw print kit
Some treats
Little cute hats

(We live on 65 acre farm with our own river and mountain,
So walking and running is the norm every day and all day)

I am doing a full round of “Transurfing in 78 days”- book by Vadim Zeland

For the longest time I repracticed day 5 on repeat and brought me lots of revelation.

Then a bunch of challenging things happened; a friend committed suicide, my dogs got lost.

Lots of high emotion and it was interesting to observe the mind swing between experience the emotions that accompany the event vs when it starts spiraling into doom/pendulum/unrelated feelings and thoughts.

My constant reminder to WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP.

Grateful for this practice and finding myself faster and faster recognizing I am playing some script and need to wake up from the dream.

Business is doing great - feeling excited about that.
Home is doing great - whenever small inconveniences happen, I write it off as pendulum and respond by doing something really silly.

See you tomorrow

Rant:

As a rescue mal owner I’m in plenty of fb groups where mals are given up.

The majority of the reasons is always something like “we had to move, new house doesn’t allow dogs”

Or

“My new jobs makes me too busy”

And it is ABSOLUTELY mind boggling to me.

There are plenty of jobs and houses available, it would be completely out of any question to give up my dog.

I have my own property now, but before I had my life revolved around my rescues.

Where I would live, how I organized my days, EVERYTHING.

It’s absolutely shocking and terrifying how dogs are being disposed off as if it’s an object.

I am doing a full round of “Transurfing in 78 days”- book by Vadim Zeland

I have been repeating and exploring day 5 on repeat for several days because I’ve been observing how my opinion of the world/mirror changes depending on my circumstances, mood, sleep and flow or business.

On day 5 we look at what we believe the world looks like. Is it ugly? Is it mean? Is it beautiful? Is it against us? For us?

Which resulted me in exploring this from a curious aspect.

When I sleep good, it’s easy to find the rhythm of the day, get things done.

When I sleep bad, and my body is hurting (farm life) I get agitated earlier (pendulums?) and my frustration shows up as “WHY IS THE WORLD AGAINST ME?”

It’s very emotional and very reactive (that perspective, not my behavior).

Remembering to WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP! Helps to neutralize frustration and to remember I do not have to be in the dream and script where I am angry.

I literally get to choose any second and moment.

When tired and frustrated, I have to remember and it’s harder to remember!

Great practice.

Business has been great this month.
I’ve been pushing myself on all levels this month.

Going for walks with the world 🙏

I am doing a full round of “Transurfing in 78 days”- book by Vadim Zeland

I am repeating day 5's task for several days now.

"The world is a mirror, what do you see the world as?"

Has revealed lots of things and funny underlying beliefs that show up (especially when things go really well, then the pendulums love pulling me back)

So I have been exploring this for several days now.

I can clearly see a correlation between my energy levels and sleep (or lack there of).

Things are significantly easier, that is, in regards to steering my thoughts and focus and awareness, when I slept well.

We have a sick dog at home now so the nights were rough and I notice that by the end of the day it takes a conscious effort to pattern interrupt negative thoughts, doubt or absolute catastrophe thinking.

I have found that obviously arguing with it or trying to ignore it doesn't work, which RT speaks about alot, but the pattern interrupt has been working really well for me.

Whenever a pendulum creates dark or unsupportive thoughts I do something REALLY REALLY weird.

Things I have done so far:
- busted out singing My Heart Will Go on
- Pretended there was a camera and I was in a Spanish novella soap opera and dramatically expressed my shock for these thoughts
- paused mid walk until all the dogs were paying attention to me and then started running like a crazy person while screaming Russian words. THE DOGS HAD THE BEST FUN WITH THIS WHICH MADE ME SUPER HAPPY INSTANTLY and "free" and awake.
- serenaded "All I have to give" by backstreet boys to the tree as if the tree was the pendulum and I included the original steps from the video clip from back in the day.

The biggest reminder and "awakening" has been to remind myself many times during the day that this is a dream and I am AWAKE AWAKE AWAKE.

I am loving this journey and I feel like I am becoming more and more myself each day plus doing the silly stuff really is a pattern interrupt on all levels.

Friends and husband started playing along too.

Shortest preface:

We have 6 dogs, some of them rescues, two of them born on the property.
We live on 65 acres in the forest, with our own river and mountain (and horses and hundreds of chickens).
Our doggos are my main priority, I probably have an unhealthy relationship to them because my whole life revolves around them and their well being and this will never change.

One of our older doggos has a little tummy ache and has been doing some puking, she feels really bad about it herself but I stayed up with her and pet her when she sought me out.

Which brought me to a story I was telling my sister this morning as we were talking about our sick doggo:

When I was sin my 20s I was rolling around with shady crowd and I hung out for the first time at this guys house.

His dog had ate something in his yard and puked in the house.
The guy took his actual belt off and started beating the dog with it for puking in the house.

It ended up in a physical fight (I have no business fighting men, I am only 5"1 on a good sunday) and shortly after I ended up adopting the dog.

She didn't live too old because she had kidney failure but the years she did lived WERE GLORIOUS and filled with love.

But this is probably lots of word to describe something simple:

I judge TF out of people who are nasty or treat their sick dog as an inconvenience.

I do not care how much you have on your plate, how frustrated you are or whatever, dogs should NEVER be punished for not feeling well (kids neither by the way).

I am doing a full round of “Transurfing in 78 days”- book by Vadim Zeland

Today lots of things on the schedule so lots of opportunities to remind myself I have the right to be myself and that I am AWAKE AWAKE AWAKE.

After farm chores I went for a massage and then back at home for business.

Got to think a lot about Transurfing while in my massage, feeling like the wild was really taking care of me.

16:05 taking our dogs to our beach and river and imagining the world walking with me. Takes such good care of me.

Beach was beautiful, decided to jump into the river because I would have done that when I was a little kid too.
Dogs swam with me.

Sometimes a breeze came by and I wondered what it was trying to tell me, so I decided it was whispering to me the secrets of its path.

Doing some work on my phone while I am drying from the river and listening to a class from my own mentor.

Did a sleepover in the living room with all the dogs, it brought super much joy!

Worked till 1 am - the business did amazing money today.

Going to bed content and remind myself to WAKE UP WAKE UP.

Very grateful

I am doing a full round of “Transurfing in 78 days”- book by Vadim Zeland

Morning started in business calls, lots of them.

Then the animals.

Had to consciously remind myself to wake up instead of doing the practical stuff on auto pilot.

Not pushing today, my body is super tired, but doing my work and workout.

Spending extra awareness with the doggos.

16:45 - organizing and cleaning the house

19:30 - off to farm stuff

20:40 - reflecting on the day and reading the chapter for tomorrow.

Exploring what “my right to be myself” feels like.

Constantly reminding myself to WAKE UP.

It’s fascinating to see how much we go back on autopilot all the time.

We have one mal and 5 other dogs, the mal is TOTALLY velcroed to me, typical.
He couldn't care less about anyone else, so this is my only reference.

Does anyone have 2 or more Mals that are both actually velcroed to one person?

Or is it more like when one Mal has claimed their person, the other one is naturally is more distant?

I am doing a full round of “Transurfing in 78 days”- book by Vadim Zeland

Super super rough sleep, one of my dogs accidentally head bumped me and the left side of my head has been hurting so much I couldn’t lay on it (the bruises are coming through).

Farm chores went in slow motion because of the sleep deprivation and pain.

Then drove to my hairdresser (about an hour drive one way) and listened to a podcast.

I notice while this tired and in pain my mind doesn’t have the energy to think dramatic thoughts so that makes it significantly easier.

My biggest challenge is that the majority of my
Life requires very strategic thinking and very to-do-list approach. I have 3 businesses and the farm.

Practicing how to not “to do transurfing” but being and feeling it.

Being around people definitely affirms that I thrive better, as an extreme extrovert, now living super remote.

We are actively looking to move and I am excited for that chapter to happen, while actively seeking gratitude and lessons (real ones, not mental made up) in this chapter.

Working till 17:11 then eating some alligator.

Realizing what a dream life I actually already live.

Feeling love, excitement and deep deep gratitude.

Accidentally bumped into a vid on Instagram of a group of people playing Vivaldi at a train station and it made me tear up.

The fact that I get to witness something like this is pure art.

20:03 - getting tired but still have to do farm chores. Had some amazing flow.

21:03 - farm chores done,
Spending some time with husband property shopping and exploring.

Today was good.

21:40 reading chapter for tomorrow, which I’ll be re reading in morning again.

LFG

I am doing a full round of “Transurfing in 78 days”- book by Vadim Zeland

Woke up with the instant reminder that I am awake in life.

ALSO had the song “every little cell inside my body, every little cell is happy and well” stuck in my head but it makes me smile so I don’t mind.

I notice that the dogs are extra affectionate to me (we have 6 large dogs) when I “wake up”.

In the mornings it’s all about farm chores and farm chaos.

Yesterday was a really good day business numbers wise and I notice that my mind is telling me that because yesterday was so good, today will be bad.

(Talk about a fucking pendulum and weird belief)

“The world takes care of me and goes with me for walks” [cause I show up and am practicing).

10:30 - farm chores done, rereading today’s chapter.

WAKING UP FROM THE DREAM.

Reminding myself that the mirror operates with a slight delay (and legit envisioning a mirror with a slight delay as if a video online is lagging).

WAKING UP FROM THE DREAM.

Business mode

11:08 if life and business is a game, and I get to play… HOW FUN ACTUALLY

13:29 - feeling impatience come up, which means I am in a dream and I believe the dream.

WAKING UP! WAKING UP!

14:43 - feeling extreme scarcity and “impatience” about not seeing any evidence that the results aren’t happening or coming.

Very unhelpful.

WAKING UP.

Doing some more work.

17:41 - thought so hard I thought myself into a headache. Hydrating.

Took the tiniest nap on the couch, using one of the puppies as a pillow, then went to the river with the 4 dogs without a phone or notebook.

Had the most magical moment: first being greeted by an eagle. We have a lot of eagles here but I’ll never take for granted seeing them, they are super majestic and really represent magic for me.

Then a red tail hawk was hunting and scouting and those are so pretty too.

A cloud has moved in front of the sun making the temperature significantly lower and more pleasant, now accompanied by a breeze that made the trees sway now and then and it felt like the trees were trying to tell me a secret.

19:00 husband arrived at home early today and now all six dogs were home and there was cuddling on the couch.

Dinner made and some Netflix before doing the night farm chores.

21:34 - prepared myself by reading the chapter for tomorrow (as I will read it again tomorrow morning).

Overal content about today, I can tell I am pushing “too hard” and THEN a realization and relief follows, hope to shorten those cycles. But for now, doing my best to undo myself of cultural and societal limitations and remember I have the right to be myself and AWAKE.

I am doing a full round of “Transurfing in 78 days”- book by Vadim Zeland

Day 1

Prepared by reading the practice the night before.

Woke up in the morning noticing my body and my mind, then went straight to feed all the animals (I have a farm).

The dogs were beyond chaotic than anything and I notice a pendulum trying to hook me in (they went on a chicken killing spree attempt, which is not normal for them).

After that I had to take a breather and clean the house (distract my mind) so it wouldn’t get stuck in the dog situation pendulum.

Breakfast then business.

Had the book open next to my laptop so I was constantly reminded to be “awaken and here”.

Noticing I am trying to make success happen by force, which has absolutely worked in the past.

Force = not trusting the world to take care of me.

Sitting in middle of the living room with my dogs on the floor as they play, trying to “think” my way into trusting the world.

Not working.

Closed eyes and remembered days of being a kid and seeing days as a big adventure!

Click! That’s the trust of the world I am looking for.

Mental chatter lessens and I flow further.

13:42 - focusing on work and finding it super hard to remember that brute force and endless “I have to focus” is not gonna help me get to my dream slide earlier.

Constantly a dance between AWAKENING (and therefor remembering and releasing importance) to almost frantic frustration.

Farm and dog pendulum came by another time but as a response I started singing My Heart Will Go on out loud, like I was performing for the pendulum. So I wouldn’t get stuck in it and I would out weird it 😂

16:41 - finding myself super cranky for “doing the Transurfing work” but not seeing direct results 😂 where are my millions? Where is the flow?

Realized I am in a dream of annoyance, remembered to WAKE UP, which removed any annoyance.

I notice I desire the feeling of the world taking care of me and taking it for a walk but my mind is definitely still stuck in that life has to be super super hard.

16:59 - remembering not to focus on numbers (monetary, clients, business etc) but on the actual feeling and what the days would look like.

(I still get this slide/intention/frame messed up I think)

I am making it too big of a deal, not just walking to the kiosk for a newspaper.

19:00 took the dogs to our river and beach and just sat.

Being “awake” and really enjoying the moments and watching them play.

21:30 reading the chapter for the next day, so my mind is prepared. (And always rereading it in the morning).

Remembering that I don’t understand the plait and braid process really, so I’ll check that out tomorrow again.

Successful day, work went well, I neutralized any turbulence that came my way (and it does a lot when living on a farm),

Proud of myself for showing up.

Keep hydrated yall!

Every time I set the intention to consciously practice Transurfing I see a wave of increase and growth everywhere.

Then I forget to remember and I fall off again.

My life is already REALLY really good: I am from East-Europe and moved to America a few years ago.

I live with my gorgeous husband on our own 65 acre off grid farm with our own river and a mountain.

I have several businesses online and make great money and I get really obsessive (excessive) with my business and then the flow kind of stops.

Have read Transurfing Reality several times, now listening to the new book Transurfing Yourself and doing an experiment with the 78 days of transurfing to see how it goes.

Will be reporting here per day.

I know my excessive focus needs to go somewhere so I figured I'll focus on my archery and cleaning up the farm so my obsessive mind can unbalance that part of life.

Post Scriptum; it's funny, I used to always joke that my business runs best when I am obsessed with something completely else, not knowing in hindsight that that makes total sense with the transurfing model.

Mongo MUST be a Mal.

Velcro ✅
Does air bites when excited ✅ (with sparks)
Protective ✅
Wild athletic abilities ✅