Fed up of being reminded I’m fat every time I’m ill
Im fat. Im plenty aware of it and has been an ongoing battle my entire life between trying to love myself as I am and loosing weight. Im trying to do both, and I work very hard on being healthy but loving me as I am now. Particularly after having a daughter now myself. Flabby belly and all, I’m showing my body love.
This week I got food poisoning or a stomach bug or something, and every single person (except my husband) has commented “but think of the weight you’ll lose” and it’s just so disheartening. Everyone around me, including my friends and my own mother just sees me as fat. As unfinished. As undeserving. I must of course be happy to be spewing up and almost shitting my pants because maybe I’ll loose 7lbs like the last time I had norovirus! And obviously the same was said then too.
And what’s worse? I think it too. Because this is just ingrained into us, and I have to work very hard to unlearn that thinking and remind myself it’s not healthy to be happy to loose weight because you physically can’t keep anything down. And y’all yes I could have a conversation with my mum about it, but she’s… difficult. She’s not a narcissist but she definitely has some traits. I have complex relationship with her that makes conversations around my feelings exhausting and ends up in me just managing hers. So… no thanks. I just needed to come see if anyone else has this same experience as an overweight person?
Plate is roast chicken shredded with my big chicken shredded (a life saver) part boiled roasted garlic oil potatoes and broccoli with Parmesan ALL OVER. This is from last week since I literally cannot eat anything right now :(