u/Climax_crescendo

assuming I already have butter and olive oil. from longecity, multiuse,taste,… thank you! or if something else would make sense.🙂

some people make have a different opinion on whats essential or not. I’m not really sure where my mind is headed as far as categories. I’m sorry I wish I could be of more help. i know very little about prepping.

I haven’t had one day this year where I feel good but today has been the worse

*favorite discontinued foods and drinks would be the original price as well.

*this would include shows canceled early and all shows would be watched as if you were experiencing it for the first time.

that’s not a path I’m going to personally pursue but I feel like I need to be able to at least talk about it. Or not respond in a way that is immature. I need to relearn how to effectively have relationships with all people. Especially those who don’t share the same beliefs. I thought I’d start with this. I want to dive into how my beliefs around this, are possibly effecting me in ways that I am unaware of. I am unsure how to go into this in a way that I doesn't cause me to act on urges.

especially on the internet. why are we not kind to each other? why when someone is mean to me and I respond in kindness and ask for self reflection, I get downvoted and the mean person gets upvoted? what’s with the snark and sarcasm and talking to people like they are stupid? acting superior to people with mental illness. We are focus on the sin of the world but not looking inward enough. how can we get angry for people having pride month,when we are prideful everyday? it sucks because a lot of the time we don’t have each other as a safe space. some of us have been in church all our lives but have not grasp the basics. theres a lack self control that ends up pushing people away from God and away from going to church. it’s not that we can’t give you grace or forgiveness but when is it a bad day or year versus it just being character or a hardened heart?

I would like to recommend at least reading the book of james. matthew 5-7 and the churches mentioned in revelations. So much could be solved if we work on controlling our tongue.sometimes the world doesn’t hate us simply because we follow Jesus but because we are cruel.

sometimes I have fantasies or yearns for a woman. like holding her hand or cuddling with her and more that I’m too vulnerable to say. sometimes I want to talk about it but I’m not sure if that’s good because the world will tell me to act on it but sometimes christians when I talk about worldly things make me very grouchy. I do my best to abstain but it’s getting harder to avoid the things that would cause my body to have that desire. a lot of ads are tempting and then some are just straight up carnal. when I was younger you had to stay up late and wait for a grainy channel now it’s delivered straight to you.

I did leave a review on google but I took it down because I got nervous. I initially wanted to leave an anonymous review but it messed with my email.

I went to the doctor to get a transvaginal ultrasound. I had been having long term spotting and recently pain.I was happy I found someone to take me seriously versus just giving me birth control. I had been very anxious over the last week due to the air quality. Today I had to drink 24 oz before the ultrasound and I started to feel bad like I had to poop and like my stomach was bloated. I was nervous also because of my Pgad as well.

When the exam started it hurt slightly like I was raw inside. But I didn’t think much of it because these exams are usually short without much happening I’ve had a few before. Also I don’t feel that much inside and lately even when self pleasuring externally it’s muted. But I guess something changed or they went over the wrong spot too much because I had an orgasm. I was really embarrassed because the exam ended immediately after that so I don’t know if the ultrasound picked up on it and I don’t know if my friend who was in the waiting room picked on it. I’ve been thinking about it ,upset all day. Is it a possible the places where I feel pleasure switched? it feel good but not in a good way.

that is all.

or Am i misunderstanding these scriptures? I’ve also heard pastors and people tell visions of when those left behind see that they were deceived by false preachers and loved ones who were too cowardly to tell them the truth. well it’s not going to be good for them.

““And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: ‘The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s creation. “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, “I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing,” not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see.”

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3‬:‭14‬-‭18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

““Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. But if that wicked servant says to himself, ‘My master is delayed,’ and begins to beat his fellow servants and eats and drinks with drunkards, the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know and will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭24‬:‭45‬-‭e51‬ ‭ESV

Do you know that’s where the word excruciating comes from? I learned that a little while ago. I was just watching a edit from the chosen where Jesus says to Judas he has you know and Judas says who and Jesus says not God. have you ever loved someone deeply and saw that they were going down a path of darkness and you knew what was going to happen if they kept going that way?

I thought about while Jesus was getting arrested that he would have had knowledge of Judas committing sui¢ide. which is one of the worst ways to lose someone. also Jesus didn’t sleep that night while being under all that stress to the point of sweating blood. I don’t know about you but when I don’t sleep everything gets amplified. And I haven’t even gotten to the part where they physical hurt Jesus.

i Keep hearing people say that they don’t know why what Jesus went through was so bad or that it wasn’t that bad. I think about how if someone did what Jesus did today, an innocent person sacrificing themselves and being tortured in this way they would be called a hero but the world says nobody told him to do this.

I haven’t read it before. and now I’m seeing that it’s only 8 chapters. how come people don’t talk about this book? I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sermon on this,seen it mentioned in reference to anything,no bible study…

jesus is found in every book of the bible. I’ll be interested to see who he is in this book. I guess after I’m done reading it I’ll try to tell you what I find and what i understand.

edit: I read it but it’s probably the hardest book f me to understand what I’m supposed to take from it.

I wasn’t reading my bible at all. made excuses for going to church even though it’s a really good one. hardly had pray or worshiping😞. Ive been trying to be a light online but completely burnt out in my personal life and unstable much of the time. relying on getting my word from scrolling on tiktok. listening to carnal music and entertaining my self with things that are worldly. I had been burnt out from psychosis for two years and my mind is finally feeling clearer. But I felt less focused on my relationship with Jesus only really putting all my hope in the rapture happening soon.

however as soon as I prayed to God, like as soon as I finished my sentence I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to open joel. I had never read this book but it had exactly what I needed to do.

“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.

‭‭Joel‬ ‭2‬:‭12‬-‭14 esv

it’s almost like there’s a great divide between people who can except what’s going on and people who can’t. but the separation hasn’t happened yet right? every day I see at least one video of som asking what’s going on with all the diseases, earthquake, food, etc and it’s literally reading off of Matthew 24 but if you say anything biblical people get very angry.

even when it’s in the low 70s where I am it feels strong in an unnatural way. I don’t see the air “bend” anymore. It feels like being in an oven. Even when the sun is on me, it feels no different than when in the shade.

on days where I’m not sure how I’ll make it through your encouragement helps greatly. It’s imperative that we be there for each other but also practice self control and scroll if he have nothing nice to say. more and more are leaving the faith and taking others with them. we must fight the good fight.

maybe you can relate to this:
“you say you haven’t changed but remember when you used to be out in the world? remember how impulsive you used to be? remember your “ I’ll do what I want now and ask for forgiveness later” mindset? remember how revenge consumed you? yeah you still struggle with sin but you feel bad and hesitate. you don’t justify it.

yeah you return to old habits and sins but the gap in which you don’t d it gets longer. you struggle with masturbation and porn but you're not out seeking sex with any and everyone. you don’t do everything that the world is doing just because it sounds good. you don’t people please at the cost of denying Jesus. you don’t even pray the same things anymore because you’ve been set free.”

keep going 🙂

I don’t understand what all of them being asleep means. I don’t understand the oil. I don’t understand how it runs out. some people say the oil is t be be in constant communication with God and others say it’s the Holy Spirit. how can you have extra holy spirit. I’m sorry I’m trying rea hard to understand. How would you know if you are out of oil.

the parable of the ten virgins Matthew 25 esv

““Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’ And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. But he answered, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.