So i used to be a pack a day smoker. I was good for over a year. And then about a month ago bought a vape. I have been vaping literally every 3 minutes. And you know what sucks. I literally dont even get a buzz. And if I stop im going into withdrawal. So I literally just made my life more difficult for basically no reason. And im ruining my health and wallet. So stupid.
Haven't been away from porn this long in years. No longer have to be hiding something. Living alone has made this difficult im ngl. But i can still do this if I really want too. Looking forward to 7 days. A whole week
I already posted today but im neurotic so I'll be posting again. I want to get a job. But i need help. And I might be getting said help. Living off welfare sounds like a dream come true. But its not. It gives you just enough money to survive but not enough to actually enjoy your life. Im thinking of getting into landscaping since im low iq and I've done it before and its really fuckin easy mentally speaking. Plus I get out of the house and get fresh air, I also get all the smoke breaks I want as long as I get the job done. And to top it off, more money. Worst case scenario is a have a shit day and go back to doing what im doing now. After seeing some of your guys stories. Especially the people in their 30s say they regret literally everything. I dont want to become that. I told my parents I'm ready to work and that I might need some help and they've always been very supported. Ill still be a NEET until then but I want a better life and im gonna give it a shot.
Just woke up to someone banging on the door. Dude said, "happy 4th of july" lol nice.
I posted here yesterday im going through a rough patch rn. I really just wish I was always tired. I love being tired and laying in bed and slowly drifting off into a dream. But I sleep 14 hours and then realize im gonna be up for 10 hours until im able to go to sleep again. Those 10 hours are just me wishing I was dreaming. When im in a dream im not depressed, I just am. I just took some benadryl and a seroquel in hopes that I pass out after finishing my meal.
Bought a new router and my family uses the same wifi. Worked great for 3 hours. Dad woke up at 2am and texted me "no internet". I gave him password. And he proceeded to say it's not working. So now im freaking out because I think I just broke our home internet. So then I was like okay I need to change it back. And to change it back you need a computer to log into modem account. And my laptop decided to fuckin kill itself and not turn on. So not only am I worried I broke internet. But now im worried I broke my laptop. Thankfully I had a really long ethernet cord to plug into my computer. And was able to switch it back. But for a minute there I actually thought wifi was gone forever. And my laptop is in "repair" mode. Whatever tf bullshit that means. Literally did nothig but use Firefox on the fucker. Im considering becoming Amish now
This is the longest I've gone without porn in a while. I threw away my vr headset which is how I mainly consumed pornohraphy. If I still had it I would of relapsed by now. Im 24 and have porn induced ED. And I feel my sex drive coming back already. Slowly and kind of in the background but im glad im recovering.
Disabled and got no reason to do anything. I sleep 14-16 hours a day. Only thing that brings me pleasure is coffee and cigarettes. Wish I felt like I did before I abuse amphetamines. I think i got brain damage and can never feel happiness anymore. Been clean more than 5 years and still in a depression. Shit sucks man
I'm still gonna watch movies and listen to spotify, but to all my online friends, I'm out. I need a better personality and social media is not helping. If anything it's making me worse. Much worse. Time to make some irl gains
I have been getting off to things that normally would've disgusted me. It's like a drug I've built a tolerance too. Can this go away over time. I want to have a healthy sex life down the road
It comes out tonight at midnight. I think its already available in some time zones. Ive never seen it so im looking forward to it. Ive heard great things
Edit* i finished the movie and I thought it was good. Was the story creative and original? No. But i was definitely entertained.
Thinking about getting a dog to cope with my life. Im a very paranoid individual and do not trust people. But I do trust my pets. I had a childhood dog who I miss very much. But I wasn't really the one taking care of him(i fed him and walked him but i was too young to take him to vet and whatnot).
So yeah, anyone have a pet dog(or pet in general). Good idea, bad idea?
So I relapsed a few months back. My relapses aren't just a one night thing. It leads to me starting and then doing it every day for a long time. I didn't take it seriously. No blockers for websites. No tracker to keep count of my days. No hobbies to replace it. And me just not being ready. But now I am.
I got clean for over a year when I was 19 and that brief stint of not watching porn was the happiest I've ever been since childhood. I dont know why im addicted to something that makes me depressed. And when I look in the mirror I feel shame. I feel like I look creepy because I can't lie to myself anymore. This isn't me. I think I've hit rock bottom. I have even used drugs to enhance the "experience". Its so utterly pathetic.
I dont know if anyone gonna read this but God damn do I feel like shit right now
Edit* just threw out my vr headset(I use it exclusively for porn). If losing 300$ means I'll never watch that shit again then money well spent
My mother is being tested for cancer and she was supposed to get her results back Friday and it's currently Saturday night and no call. Im very worried. Is a delay a bad thing? I feel like if she was fine they'd just call her and say negative or something and that'd be that.
Just lost like 1000 movies and 200 shows. Im just gonna cope by saying I was never gonna rewatch them anyway. Sucks to suck.
Anyone here know a way to have a free cloud storage so I can just re-download them even if it takes a month.
Edit* Wasn't expecting a discussion on the economic repercussions of AI
So I quit nicotine for a little over a year and I relapsed on it last week. It helps with not only my schizophrenia but also the side effects of antipsychotics. I looked into it and around 80% of people with schizophrenia smoke. Which sounds like a ton but there's still 20% that don't. I really want to not use it because I don't want lung cancer and other health issues. But I also don't want to make my life harder. Anyone here quit this drug and have any advice on how to do it
So I can run a 4k movie if I use the external player option in the playback settings. But jellyfin player will not run it properly. It basically lags the entire time. Is there a way to fix this?
So as a teenager I had a prescription for Adderall and Vyvanse, and while being stupid(as kids are) I abused it. Shit fucked me up, bad. I quit and sobered up around 18 because my free ride was over and I had to function and amphetamines make me paranoid in public. So I just quit all together. 6 years since quitting and im not only still paranoid but also still hearing voices. I have to take a bunch of schizophrenic pills now and im also on disability for the schizophrenia because I couldn't keep a job. I tried 6 separate places to work and the paranoia and voices kept causing me to freak out. Not only that but I also now sleep 14 hours a night.
I understand that im sure some of my problems were genetic lottery but I was completely fine until I went on week long benders of not sleeping. And that mixed with it also being a period of where my brain was developing into an adult. I think I got brain damage. At one point in my addiction I overdosed and had a seizure and forgot who or where I was for a good while.
Its not all bad, it could be worse(for example I could've just overdosed and died). But the regret is real. Its sad how you dont even notice the harm its doing to you until the euphoria wears off.