u/Cultural-Medium8706

like we’re literally not on the same page for a whole month and tmr is her birthday and i’m choosing not to say happy birthday. we haven’t talked in a long long time , one month and honestly now i feel rejected. because there is no relationship one month of no texting back to me is a sign to take the hint and move on. we dated since middle school on and off though

TL;DR: I (20M) had a big fight with my girl (20F) and we haven't spoken in 3 weeks. I was serious about marrying her and having kids, but my insecurities made me clingy and self-sabotaging because of her possibly manipulative social media posts. Since the fight, she's been posting sad stuff and hints that she misses me.
i’m not one to post anything so it’s like i already disappeared.
She even made me promise we'd get married. Should I try to reconnect or move on? We've been on and off for 5 years.

honestly do you think in her head we broken up?

here’s some facts

on and off for 5 years
dating for 12 months

we got into a argument and we have not talked in over 30 days

she told me if she didn’t like me then she wouldn’t be responding to me (before the argument)

i started the argument but it really escalated

while we were arguing i realized she tried to repair it because she said
“i don’t think we’re on the same page” but i escalated it , so i feel like it’s my fault.

i tried reaching out like a lot i tried the whole paragraph thing to reconnect.

she has been posting stuff online that seem directed to me

communication has stopped.

her birthday is in 7 days. i still feel like i should reach out and say happy birthday to her, but then again there is another guy who probably believes he has a chance now.. because obviously she is making him feel like that.

then again i could be the guy who probably believes i have a chance worse case is that it was all a game and that she been rejected me and im not taking the hint…

i think me refusing to accept the silence says alot .

things got really confusing at some point. but let me be real i can be disrespectful i got a smart mouth im not all as good as i seem in this situation. i didn’t know how to communicate with her or what to do when i felt insecure because of her actions so i reacted by being dismissive and stuff, i didn’t know better i was never taught what to do, but now i know what to do. she told me to promise her that we will get married. i did promise her that. but honestly while we were dating she would do some manipulative stuff like post things like “ dancing because i got 2 prom dates” and stuff like that. mind u i never talked to her about going to prom with her but all we did was talk about how i inspired her prom dress. so i blocked her on there because it was making me anxious and i didn’t know what else to do. but it really seemed manipulative because she would post things like that. i’m not all good let me be real i posted something that came off manipulative and she reacted by blocking me on there. then we got into a argument over something dumb, and i feel like the other stuff that i did added alot of tension.

I’m a good person, i know what to do with my insecurities now, and it doesn’t involve other people or manipulation now.

She reposted things like “when i finally meet a guy who would treat me right but i feel nothing” “i like being alone physically but mentally it’s been hard” she post some depressing stuff too. she reposted “me because i learned how to play my role” “how i sound trying to convince my self im not hurt after he played in my face.

when we stopped talking she deleted the video of her that said about the 2 dates and the other things.

now she posted things like “No one wants me” then she posted a video that said “all i do is think about this guy while im in class”

is anyone 100% sure this is a break up😭

we are teens btw
here’s some facts

on and off for 5 years
dating for 12 months

we got into a argument and we have not talked in over 30 days

she told me if she didn’t like me then she wouldn’t be responding to me (before the argument)

i started the argument but it really escalated

i tried reaching out like a lot i tried the whole paragraph thing to reconnect.

she has been posting stuff online that seem directed to me

communication has stopped.

she talks to everyone but me

we are not in the same school

i think me refusing to accept the silence says alot .

i think the silence is the answer .

my cousin said “break up with her and leave her alone because she is going to college, and so she will definitely cheat”. (we’re not in college yet though btw)

im scared that she will not protect my feelings and that my heart might not be safe.😭
.im healing and working on myself it’s hard work but it will all be worth it.

on and off since middle school
it’s been 30 days of no contact , i used to believe we were still together, i try not to assume but 30 days is a long time after a fight and it would be delusional not to end it. i already tried reaching out i did the whole paragraph thing. she does not like me rn

I know she will come back some day. i don’t know when but i know she will. i’m afraid that when she comes back that i won’t like her anymore

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having communication problems in my relationship and i came to realized that it ain’t the fight that’s the problem it’s a pattern because how the argument s are being handled. we hurt each other and im sure i hurt her. and we still haven’t came back to each other after this argument and right now im just getting silence. so things are getting serious because i have love for her but im gettin silence so there is not any respect. i feel sad and uncomfortable when there is no respect. it’s gotten hard and i dont know.

tldr: dated since 7th grade 5 years, on/off

Had a big argument. i said “I’m done with this” (meaning the convo). She said “I’m done with you.” i apologized and tried to fix it without actually talking it through with her n she had complained about before she said this “you act like nothing happened”
i realize now that the real issue isn’t the fight, but the pattern of how conflicts were handled over time. It’s been a whole month of no contact. i reached out, she didn’t respond.

During the silence she reposted TikToks as if she is still in a relationship, and she posted things that made me think she might moved on. At the same time, she stopped posting things that used to bother you, which to me felt like a small sign of respect ?

I started dating this girl in 7th grade. I have no one irl to talk to about this.

I'm 17 years old now, so it's been around just 5 years of being on and off. even when we ddid break up before we never really stayed apart for long. the longest we ever went was 3 months, and we always ended up reconnecting. and we recently reconnected after 2 months and its been a year now since that.

recently we had a argument. during the argument I said "I'm done with this" and I meant I was done with the conversation, but she replied "I'm done with you" I also said I needed space. and gave her a option if she just wants to talk when she calms down. then later I also said I would respect her space than I apologized for my part in the argument. which she didn't respond to. the message before that was the last message that she responded to.

I tried to fix things by apologizing I reached out a day later even a week later and so. I tried to fix it by apologizing and just moving on which is how I'm use to handling conflict. she had previously told me that I ted to " act like nothing happened at all" after arguments and now I realize she is right. and I probably wouldn't have realized without space to reflect unless I'm told my behavior specifically. I was apologizing and that's really it.

I tried to reach out a few times but she didn't respond it's been a month of no contact. stupidly I reached out before doing a lot of reflecting and I reached out doing the apology thing. I feel like maybe I could have said I'm here when you wanna talk and then when we talk and figure something out then I can save my apology for then ya know.
I realized It seems like she's bread crumbing me definitely because she is reposting stuff online. that seems like it has something to do with our relationship. and like about other people so it made me feel like there a another guy. at the same time I noticed after the no contact she stopped posting things that use to bother me after I told her that's why I unfollowed her on there and I took that as a small sign she is showing respect ?

I been trying to figure out if she still likes me or something or if she is avoidant and got overheated or if it's just another thing where we eventually reconnect. I been thinking its how we handled the argument is the problem ebcuade its a pattern she said that I been doing. I understand why this might of upset her and that's why she could be choosing silence and not reconnecting with me not bc she stopped caring and moved on t o another guy.

I just don't know what to do. like her bday is coming up its in just 14 days and I don't know weather to even send her a happy birthday text or not and just let it go. I feel embarassed sending those texts not gonna lie its because I failed but yea. Im wondering will she come back was what we talked about really real? like our future/ is this the end will she come back??? i miss her and i want her back

tldr: dated since 7th grade 5 years, on/off

Had a big argument. i said “I’m done with this” (meaning the convo). She said “I’m done with you.” i apologized and tried to fix it without actually talking it through with her n she had complained about before she said this “you act like nothing happened”
i realize now that the real issue isn’t the fight, but the pattern of how conflicts were handled over time. It’s been a whole month of no contact. i reached out, she didn’t respond.

During the silence she reposted TikToks as if she is still in a relationship, and she posted things that made me think she might moved on. At the same time, she stopped posting things that used to bother you, which to me felt like a small sign of respect ?

I started dating this girl in 7th grade. I have no one irl to talk to about this.

I'm 17 years old now, so it's been around just 5 years of being on and off. even when we ddid break up before we never really stayed apart for long. the longest we ever went was 3 months, and we always ended up reconnecting. and we recently reconnected after 2 months and its been a year now since that.

recently we had a argument. during the argument I said "I'm done with this" and I meant I was done with the conversation, but she replied "I'm done with you" I also said I needed space. and gave her a option if she just wants to talk when she calms down. then later I also said I would respect her space than I apologized for my part in the argument. which she didn't respond to. the message before that was the last message that she responded to.

I tried to fix things by apologizing I reached out a day later even a week later and so. I tried to fix it by apologizing and just moving on which is how I'm use to handling conflict. she had previously told me that I ted to " act like nothing happened at all" after arguments and now I realize she is right. and I probably wouldn't have realized without space to reflect unless I'm told my behavior specifically. I was apologizing and that's really it.

I tried to reach out a few times but she didn't respond it's been a month of no contact. stupidly I reached out before doing a lot of reflecting and I reached out doing the apology thing. I feel like maybe I could have said I'm here when you wanna talk and then when we talk and figure something out then I can save my apology for then ya know.
I realized It seems like she's bread crumbing me definitely because she is reposting stuff online. that seems like it has something to do with our relationship. and like about other people so it made me feel like there a another guy. at the same time I noticed after the no contact she stopped posting things that use to bother me after I told her that's why I unfollowed her on there and I took that as a small sign she is showing respect ?

I been trying to figure out if she still likes me or something or if she is avoidant and got overheated or if it's just another thing where we eventually reconnect. I been thinking its how we handled the argument is the problem ebcuade its a pattern she said that I been doing. I understand why this might of upset her and that's why she could be choosing silence and not reconnecting with me not bc she stopped caring and moved on t o another guy.

I just don't know what to do. like her bday is coming up its in just 14 days and I don't know weather to even send her a happy birthday text or not and just let it go. I feel embarassed sending those texts not gonna lie its because I failed but yea. Im wondering will she come back was what we talked about really real? like our future/ is this the end will she come back??? i miss her and i want her back

tldr: dated since 7th grade 5 years, on/off

Had a big argument. i said “I’m done with this” (meaning the convo). She said “I’m done with you.” i apologized and tried to fix it without actually talking it through with her n she had complained about before she said this “you act like nothing happened”
i realize now that the real issue isn’t the fight, but the pattern of how conflicts were handled over time. It’s been a whole month of no contact. i reached out, she didn’t respond.

During the silence she reposted TikToks as if she is still in a relationship, and she posted things that made me think she might moved on. At the same time, she stopped posting things that used to bother you, which to me felt like a small sign of respect ?

I started dating this girl in 7th grade. I have no one irl to talk to about this.

I'm 17 years old now, so it's been around just 5 years of being on and off. even when we ddid break up before we never really stayed apart for long. the longest we ever went was 3 months, and we always ended up reconnecting. and we recently reconnected after 2 months and its been a year now since that.

recently we had a argument. during the argument I said "I'm done with this" and I meant I was done with the conversation, but she replied "I'm done with you" I also said I needed space. and gave her a option if she just wants to talk when she calms down. then later I also said I would respect her space than I apologized for my part in the argument. which she didn't respond to. the message before that was the last message that she responded to.

I tried to fix things by apologizing I reached out a day later even a week later and so. I tried to fix it by apologizing and just moving on which is how I'm use to handling conflict. she had previously told me that I ted to " act like nothing happened at all" after arguments and now I realize she is right. and I probably wouldn't have realized without space to reflect unless I'm told my behavior specifically. I was apologizing and that's really it.

I tried to reach out a few times but she didn't respond it's been a month of no contact. stupidly I reached out before doing a lot of reflecting and I reached out doing the apology thing. I feel like maybe I could have said I'm here when you wanna talk and then when we talk and figure something out then I can save my apology for then ya know.
I realized It seems like she's bread crumbing me definitely because she is reposting stuff online. that seems like it has something to do with our relationship. and like about other people so it made me feel like there a another guy. at the same time I noticed after the no contact she stopped posting things that use to bother me after I told her that's why I unfollowed her on there and I took that as a small sign she is showing respect ?

I been trying to figure out if she still likes me or something or if she is avoidant and got overheated or if it's just another thing where we eventually reconnect. I been thinking its how we handled the argument is the problem ebcuade its a pattern she said that I been doing. I understand why this might of upset her and that's why she could be choosing silence and not reconnecting with me not bc she stopped caring and moved on t o another guy.

I just don't know what to do. like her bday is coming up its in just 14 days and I don't know weather to even send her a happy birthday text or not and just let it go. I feel embarassed sending those texts not gonna lie its because I failed but yea. Im wondering will she come back was what we talked about really real? like our future/ is this the end will she come back???she is really like my best friend (for a girl)

edit: fixed the text

I started dating this girl in 7th grade. I have no one irl to talk to about this. I'm 17 years old now, so it's been around just 5 years of being on and off. even when we ddid break up before we never really stayed apart for long. the longest we ever went was 3 months, and we always ended up reconnecting. and we recently reconnected after 2 months and its been a year now since that. recently we had a argument. during the argument I said "I'm done with this" and I meant I was done with the conversation, but she replied "I'm done with you" I also said I needed space. and gave her a option if she just wants to talk when she calms down. then later I also said I would respect her space than I apologized for my part in the argument. which she didn't respond to. the message before that was the last message that she responded to. I tried to fix things by apologizing I reached out a day later even a week later and so. I tried to fix it by apologizing and just moving on which is how I'm use to handling conflict. she had previously told me that I ted to " act like nothing happened at all" after arguments and now I realize she is right. and I probably wouldn't have realized without space to reflect unless I'm told my behavior specifically. I was apologizing and that's really it. I tried to reach out a few times but she didn't respond it's been a month of no contact. stupidly I reached out before doing a lot of reflecting and I reached out doing the apology thing. I feel like maybe I could have said I'm here when you wanna talk and then when we talk and figure something out then I can save my apology for then ya know. I realized It seems like she's bread crumbing me definitely because she is reposting stuff online. that seems like it has something to do with our relationship. and like about other people so it made me feel like there a another guy. at the same time I noticed after the no contact she stopped posting things that use to bother me after I told her that's why I unfollowed her on there and I took that as a small sign she is showing respect ? I been trying to figure out if she still likes me or something or if she is avoidant and got overheated or if it's just another thing where we eventually reconnect. I been thinking its how we handled the argument is the problem ebcuade its a pattern she said that I been doing. I understand why this might of upset her and that's why she could be choosing silence and not reconnecting with me not bc she stopped caring and moved on t o another guy. I just don't know what to do. like her bday is coming up its in just 14 days and I don't know weather to even send her a happy birthday text or not and just let it go. I feel embarassed sending those texts not gonna lie its because I failed but yea. Im wondering will she come back was what we talked about really real? like our future/ is this the end will she come back???

I started dating this girl in 7th grade. I have no one irl to talk to about this. I'm 17 years old now, so it's been around just 5 years of being on and off. even when we ddid break up before we never really stayed apart for long. the longest we ever went was 3 months, and we always ended up reconnecting. and we recently reconnected after 2 months and its been a year now since that. recently we had a argument. during the argument I said "I'm done with this" and I meant I was done with the conversation, but she replied "I'm done with you" I also said I needed space. and gave her a option if she just wants to talk when she calms down. then later I also said I would respect her space than I apologized for my part in the argument. which she didn't respond to. the message before that was the last message that she responded to. I tried to fix things by apologizing I reached out a day later even a week later and so. I tried to fix it by apologizing and just moving on which is how I'm use to handling conflict. she had previously told me that I ted to " act like nothing happened at all" after arguments and now I realize she is right. and I probably wouldn't have realized without space to reflect unless I'm told my behavior specifically. I was apologizing and that's really it. I tried to reach out a few times but she didn't respond it's been a month of no contact. stupidly I reached out before doing a lot of reflecting and I reached out doing the apology thing. I feel like maybe I could have said I'm here when you wanna talk and then when we talk and figure something out then I can save my apology for then ya know. I realized It seems like she's bread crumbing me definitely because she is reposting stuff online. that seems like it has something to do with our relationship. and like about other people so it made me feel like there a another guy. at the same time I noticed after the no contact she stopped posting things that use to bother me after I told her that's why I unfollowed her on there and I took that as a small sign she is showing respect ? I been trying to figure out if she still likes me or something or if she is avoidant and got overheated or if it's just another thing where we eventually reconnect. I been thinking its how we handled the argument is the problem ebcuade its a pattern she said that I been doing. I understand why this might of upset her and that's why she could be choosing silence and not reconnecting with me not bc she stopped caring and moved on t o another guy. I just don't know what to do. like her bday is coming up its in just 14 days and I don't know weather to even send her a happy birthday text or not and just let it go. I feel embarassed sending those texts not gonna lie its because I failed but yea. Im wondering will she come back was what we talked about really real? like our future/ is this the end will she come back???

people always call me bi polar but i am not diagnosed with it. im 17 f. bro this person my mom is dating would trash my room looking for things and leave it for me to clean when ever she as mad and assumed i did something wrong. my 2 year old baby cousin threw a toy at me and hit me which is normal for a toddler, and i tossed the toy across the room. bru i just dont know what to do.
the person my mom is dating is narcissistic and bi polar. i just don’t know if this correlates

tldr

gfs bday in 12 days dating 5years since 7th grade. had a argument i asked for space. no contact for one month. tbh i did reach out and i called once a couple weeks ago but i figured i should give her more space reach out or no?

can someone make my decision? her birthday is in 12 days. we have been dating for 5 years we started dating in 7th grade. we got into a argument and i started saying i needed space then we argued some more . after the argument i apologized and said ill respect your space. i did reach out a few times after that and she didn’t pick up. last time i reached out was 2 weeks ago. we haven’t talked in one month
so far it seems 50/50 people are saying move on and the other 50 is saying yeah say happy birthday.
i need someone to help me make the decision, is it over and don’t reach out or do i say happy birthday. i just don’t know what to do.

so anyone have advice?