u/Defiant-Shopping8048

repost cuz i didn't have a name blocked out

the last few days have been a rollercoaster. months ago i cut off my parents after years of abuse bc i found out i was pregnant and it made me realize i can't let my kid grow up in this environment anymore. the other day my SIL messaged me to tell me i needed to reconnect with my parents because they're a wreck and im hurting them. when i simply explained that im not willing to do that bc they abused me she freaked out on me and sent me a huge text about how im a horrible and rude person and that im faking my chronic illness and im a hypochondriac that just plays the victim all the time etc. so i decided maybe it was time to detail the abuse to my siblings so they can at least understand why i made this decision. i avoided this for a while for many reasons. i sent a message very adamantly explaining that i didnt want them to be mad at our parents and that i dont expect them to do anything abt this that i just wanted to explain my side. my one brother got back to me with a huge ass message about how putrid and vile i am and that im lying about the abuse and all this stuff and even called me stupid in the message. my other brother responded about a day later privately and told me he didn't have time to read it but will get back to me once he has a chance. other SIL has been radio silent, which is fine and i understand bc she's not rlly involved. so basically my brother and his wife attacked tf outta me and my other brother and his wife haven't rlly said anything.

today my mom texted my fiance the stuff in the screenshots. she apparently posted smth about me on facebook, shown in the final slide. my fiance explained that i was really hurt by my brother and SIL's texts and she basically just explains those away and doesn't even try and express any sorrow about it. and the video she keeps bringing up i went and unblocked her and watched it for god knows what fucking reason i guess i just hoped she changed but it's an 8 minute long video explaining how me cutting her off is hurting her and making her unable to focus on the good things in her life and she talks about me like im mentally unwell and thats why i cut her off not that she did awful things to me.

i just cant do this rn, im so numb bc my brain short circuited with the amount of emotion i was feeling. why do i sort of feel bad for her??? i feel so stupid even hoping she was gonna have changed and admit wrong. i can't stand this shit man. i'm so angry but also hurt and just i can't even describe the fucking feeling.

the first screenshots are her, the last three are his message. here's the backstory:

i dealt with abuse for years, i was the scapegoat and my brother was the golden child. eventually we also adopted my other brother out of an abusive household and they also starting treating him like the golden child too. they all seem to think if my parents rescued him they couldn't possible abuse me. i cut off my parents a few months ago when i found out i was pregnant, it just made me realize they're never going to change (i even tried one last civil convo w them b4 fully deciding on it) and i just cannot let my child grow up in this environment. im fully aware my siblings and their wives have great relationships with my parents, and im not even rlly upset by that honestly im very happy they get to have that. just because i don't doesn't mean they deserve not to.

anyway, my sister in law texts me yesterday saying i need to talk to them again. i had previously very briefly mentioned why i wasn't willing to and i just reiterated that in this conversation. i admit my tone isnt great, but i was so fed up with ppl in the family tryna convince me to just forgive them and talk to them again. i remained steadfast in my boundary and she sent me that whack shit afterward. so eventually i decided to send a kind of long text to our sibling group chat finally detailing my abuse with specific examples and stuff to explain why i made this decision and why i wouldn't be willing to talk with my parents again. i reiterated several times in the message that i did not expect, nor even hope, that they sided with me, cut off our parents, nothing like that. i simply said that i needed it to be understood why i made the decision i did so ppl would stop pressuring me to talk to them again. thats what my brother is responding to in the final three screenshots. my therapist said to expect that they wont believe me and that they'll uphold the family dynamic but damn it still hurts to see it rlly happen. my other brother and his wife have been silent so far.

i'm fully willing to accept that im not a perfect person, but both of their messages frame me as horrendous. i have no doubt this is rhetoric my parents are spreading, but idek why? you think im gonna talk to you again if you make our whole family hate me?? the only example my sister in law is willing to even give is a comment i made YEARS ago when i was 14-15 and i was just echoing what my mom had said to me. then my brothers example for how i wasn't abused is that my dad did my math homework once??? (edit: i reread his message, and i think what he was also saying was that i was too stupid for high school math so he has to spell things out for me, yikes.) idek what to think here with that. and she says i try and be the sickest in the room when you can ask literally anyone that actually interacts with me i downplay and ignore my medical issues so much bc of the trauma from my parents not believing me abt them, i rarely acknowledge them if ever. literally two days before this happened my fiance had to force me to go to the hospital bc i told him i was so sure i was overreacting and my symptoms weren't real and it turned out i had an infection that could've put me into preterm labor if left untreated. like they're not even saying true things about me and they're saying it with such certainty.

am i overreacting if i just give up on these ppl and call it quits? i expected to lose my siblings after cutting off my parents tbh but it sucks so bad im ngl that i wanna try so bad to explain myself and be heard but ik that wont happen probably. idk, am i being dumb? if any info is needed, ill gladly give it.

he's looking mainly for production recs. he has oily but fragile hair and a veeeery sensitive scalp. he doesn't wanna have to buy any like "machines" for his hair just like creams n stuff. this photo is a little pre-some of the recs we've implemented which were teaching him proper hair washing for long and oily hair (shampoo twice just on scalp in sections and use conditioner only mids and ends) which has done wonders so far, brushing only when wet for curly hair, brushing bottom to top, and he's wearing a silk bonnet at night. anything else to do/add? that's all based on some curly hair girlies i follow but that's the extent of what i know as i have straight hair. routine breakdown: rn he's just using trader joe's shampoo and conditioner the tea tree one but is open to new brands, he towel dries, that's about it except the other things i listed above.