u/Designer_Ring_67

About to have two under two and a three year old. Typically I carry my middle (18 months) and hold my 3yo’s hand. Once I have the baby, I can sometimes use a baby carrier, but not always (back issues and extreme heat), so I’m wondering if anyone has a good technique for getting everyone across the parking lot safely when carrying the infant seat + 18 month old + one walking. It just occurred to me today that this could prove very tricky. They are well-behaved, but I don’t trust cars.

I suppose I could bring the double stroller and have oldest hold onto that, but it’s a bit impractical for the grocery store (I know about grocery pickup/delivery, just can’t always use it). And I’m also thinking about doctor’s appointments, my postpartum appts, clothes shopping etc. Probably will just do the stroller in those situations.

Edit to add: I do like the cart return idea when at the grocery store specifically, but our Publix staff is quick with getting those carts back in the store. Maybe I could just drive around until I see one with carts in it, lol! At Costco the cart returns are only by the handicap spots, way up in the front of the lot, so there’s no way to park by them, so I’ll probably end up using the carrier (at least as long as I can).

Were your pregnancies all about the same length?

I’m expecting number three and hoping she stays put for a while. My first birth was at 41 weeks and my second was an induction, but I was already at 39 weeks and I think she would have stayed put a while longer.

Just curious!

Baby’s heart rate was 169 today at 32 weeks. That seemed high to me, and when I looked it up, it is high.

The ultrasound tech said it was on the higher end of normal and the NP said it was fine, but my OB wasn’t there today so I didn’t get to discuss it with her.

Her heart rate last time was only 143. I guess part of my concern is that I have been having my own heart racing episodes (which I told my OB about) so it makes me worry for baby. She was moving around quite a bit in there and I know that can cause the heart rate to be a little higher, but still, it wasn’t that much movement.

So even after being told it’s fine, I’m just looking for reassurance that this happened to other women and everything was fine.

My first birth was intense nonstop back labor with maybe 30 seconds between contractions, sunny side up baby, so I ended up going with the epidural. I was allowed to move and use the shower though, which helped a lot at first. I did hypnobirthing courses leading up to the birth, but it all went out the window with that intense back labor.

My second birth at a different hospital (the hospital I will be delivering at this time). It was an induction, and baby ended up being 10lbs with shoulder dystocia. I found so much relief in getting up and moving around, but because it was an induction, I had to have constant monitoring (great for peace of mind too) and an IV drip for GBS antibiotics. Every time I moved even slightly though, the monitors would come off and the nurses would come in really irritated about adjusting them, and at one point told me I needed to stay very still for 45 mins (but then didn’t come back for almost two hours). At that point I was in so much discomfort, and with no movement to cope with it, I opted for the epidural.

For many reasons, I strongly do not want the epidural this time. I don’t know yet if I’m going to be induced again but I’m worried about being barred from using all coping strategies again—shower, bath, movement, etc. Any words of wisdom for this situation? I plan on buying a tens machine this time (I checked it off for my birth plan with my first, but when I got to the hospital they basically said lol we don’t have those).

The gas does nothing for me except make me feel a bit sick, so definitely skipping that as well.

I know I could technically push for intermittent monitoring, but that feels risky with an induction. There was some reason the nurses last time wouldn’t let me use the mobile monitor either.

As a SAHM, I bring my kids everywhere.
My husband works long and odd hours, and we have to live far away from family for his job. Posting here because I know every other sub wouldn’t understand that aspect. No, I’m not hiring strangers to watch my child while I go to the doctor.

I come prepared, I bring snacks, toys, and books. But when someone takes 2 hours to do something that should take 15 minutes it’s going to get a little dicey.

For example,at our last doctor appointment (8:30 am), it took two hours after the appointment to be seen. I can only keep them happy for so long! We went through our toys, books, snacks, I was dancing, playing music, but after a while it’s a little difficult! So there was some fussing after a while.

A similar thing happened at the pharmacy for my third trimester shots. It should realistically take 15 mins max, there’s no reason I should have to think twice about bringing a toddler. But omg, when they forget about me and keep me waiting an hour and a half, you may hear some whining. That’s not the child’s fault, or mine for that matter, but I feel like that is an instance where you would see someone complain about kids existing in public.

Then today at a restaurant, I came prepared (went on an off day at off hours) and ordered an appetizer for the toddlers right away, but then the waitress took 25-30 minutes to come take our order after that. It’s a Tuesday so the restaurant was nearly empty. Of course, my youngest got a bit restless between waiting for the waitress then waiting for the meal and we had to walk around and dance a little.

Idk, just a pet peeve of mine, here to share lol. Especially when I see/hear complaints about people bringing kids in public. It’s not always the parent’s or the child’s “fault” when there’s a meltdown. Nobody notices them waiting patiently for two hours either! (Actually older women typically do and mention how well behaved they are to me—bless them!)

We have to move every few years for my husband’s job and have landed in an area with no good libraries. It’s temporary but on the order of years, not months.

By not good, I mean there is no dedicated child area, so I can’t plop my younger ones nearby while I browse, and we are right next to people studying and tutoring, so near silence is expected. Also, there is an extremely limited children’s book selection. (They don’t even have The Berenstain Bears.) I have lived in areas with great libraries so I definitely know what we are missing!

I have tried to support them by donating books to the book drive and buying used books, but this isn’t something I’m going to be able to solve in the next two years.

I have thought about a book swap, which would be good on a one-time basis, but because we move so often (and so does everyone else I know from my husband’s job), I don’t have a huge community to do that with.

My oldest is only in pre-k, but even so, I’m wanting her to have access to a wide variety of books. Even just for some variety for our bedtime stories!

Has anyone else found themselves in this situation and come up with a way to navigate it? I buy a lot of books used of course (Thriftbooks, Abebooks) but it’s not cheap, and so often they are a miss.

Disclaimer:
There are no good libraries nearby even outside our district.
There is not a convenient interlibrary loan system.
The closest physical bookstore is in a seedy area 40 mins away and it’s not child friendly.
We are not served by Dolly Parton’s imagination library and I don’t love the idea of books being picked for us when they may not align with our values.
Even our hoopla selection is bad, and I’m not keen on using screens instead of books.
I regularly check our little free libraries and have found maybe 1-2 books for our age range thus far. Seems like people use those for dumping their cheesy romance novels and nothing else, lol!

I feel so lucky that my hands and feet did not swell at all during my last pregnancies, like I could still wear my wedding rings no problem. But they gave me SO much fluid during delivery last time that I could not wear my flip flops after, I had to walk around in slipper socks in the hospital, which felt gross and was technically against their “rules” of wearing shoes with a hard bottom.

Has anyone found slip on shoes that fit jumbo swollen feet? I suppose I don’t know yet whether I will get fluids this time, but I want to be prepared just in case. Is the only answer crocs? Please say no, lol.

Wondering if that feeling is pretty standard when baby is exiting the birth canal. I couldn’t feel anything with my first due to the epidural, but with my second, I got that tell tale overwhelming urge to poop/OMG baby is coming feeling. I told the nurses repeatedly baby is coming NOW, right now!

I thought since it was my second, they would believe me, but they seemed to be in no hurry. The main nurse said something like “oh really?” then continued what she was doing, then eventually told another nurse “she thinks the baby is coming.” They then took forever to call the doctor at her office across town, and the doctor missed the birth. They had to pull in a non-OB from the hallway to deliver at the last possible second (it was a midwife and she did great, but still).

So IF you had that feeling, was baby coming?

Wondering if they will believe me with my third and this was just a fluke.

Writing this from a place of frustration because we are on a three-day road trip and the McDonald’s small black high chairs are way too small for my 60th percentile 18-month-old. I’m not a big McDonald’s person (I’m vegan so I can only eat the oatmeal) but time is of the essence on this trip so I’m making it work. Why not just have normal size high chairs?

It’s so uncomfortable and messy to eat with her on my lap so I really need a travel booster, especially one that can survive a messy Mac and cheese meal. What are your favorites?

Literally had an OB appointment today but this question just popped into my mind. This will be my third baby and I had an epidural with the first two (only somewhat worked the second time) but plan to avoid it this time around.

I tore for the first two, so I’m wondering, would they apply topical lidocaine when doing the stitches if you don’t have the epidural? I know some women might say compared to childbirth the stitches are nothing, but I beg to differ. That sharp needle type of pain is very scary to me.

Specifically in the context of responding to a post complaining about a lack of maternity clothes in stores.

Ma’m, if that were an option for all of us, we would do it. I guarantee virtually every woman in the world is aware larger clothing sizes exist and would avail herself of that option if it were a workable solution. This is not a secret hack. The entire reason the OP posted it is because she needs and is actively looking for maternity clothes specifically. Not all of us want to wear baggy clothes and some of us just have a big belly that cannot be accommodated by any normal size while not looking crazy everywhere else. You aren’t dropping groundbreaking info when saying you didn’t buy maternity clothes. It does not need to be said, and it comes off as dismissive under these types of posts.

Not having maternity available in stores is actually a problem for a lot of women, let’s not dismiss it!

rant over!

Just to clarify, this post is not about baby proofing the top of stairs which would obviously be an immediate safety issue. Luckily for this visit, we only go upstairs to sleep and can baby gate our bedroom so it’s a non-issue.

We visit family about three times a year for three weeks each and have multiple children. There are no airbnbs or hotels in this entire area and renting one would be prohibitively expensive and kind of ruin the point of the trip anyway.

My adorable 18 month old has recently discovered the stairs and now the entire visit is spent keeping her away from the stairs. Very exhausting and nerve-racking! You can’t use a pressure mounted gate on these stairs as it will cause the Newell post to separate from the staircase. It’s not my house so I can’t really insist on a hardware mounted gate.

It’s a big open foyer with huge cased openings to the rooms in which we spend the most time so there’s nowhere else to baby gate off. We are always within eyesight and mere feet, so it’s not really a pressing safety issue, it’s just exhausting, especially since I’m pregnant.

I wish there was a baby gate that attached to the Newell post only and then had locking hinges without needing to make contact with the other wall. Haven’t found one yet.

Has anyone come up with a genius solution? From what I recall this will continue to be a hazard until about age 3, so it’s not like it’s a short phase!

Curious to know how many here (with 3+ kids) have a garage or basement fridge or how many are getting by with just one.

I’m feeling like a bit of a spoiled brat because my husband gave in and we bought a lovely French door fridge after surviving with one of the super skinny side by side ones (freezer on left, fridge on right, so each shelf had about 2 cubic inches of space).

But it’s really not enough. It’s so hard to navigate and see what we have in our fridge. Especially because we often have a lot of beverages on hand as well, or sometimes I want the freedom to cut up a whole watermelon, and I want to save leftovers.

And the freezer space is somehow still nonexistent in this fridge. I would love to make freezer meals for postpartum but there is never any room in our freezer even when being ruthless about what is kept.

Costco opened in our town recently and I’m loving the bulk savings, but things are going bad (like bread, which I know is a controversial thing to keep in the fridge but I stand by it) because there’s no room in the fridge!

For full disclosure, we have a super mini fridge in the garage (like hotel size) for pop, Gatorade, and coconut water, so it’s better than nothing but really not making the cut.

So now I’m eyeing apartment size fridges at Costco. My dear husband is very against the idea in case this wasn’t clear.

*for homeschoolers only*

Obviously, as a homeschooler, I agree with this sentiment on its face. Parents should read with their kids. For parents that are handling all education needs like we are, that seems like a very low bar.

But is anyone else so tired of hearing this in response to concern about public schools in which only 20-30 percent of kids can read on grade level? Is this not the most obvious deflection in the world? I see this defense time and time again under articles that tackle this subject. I would say it’s the number one response, in addition to blanket claims that schools just need more money.

(Also, are we 100 percent sure that every kid that can’t read on grade level has parents that aren’t reading at home?)

The argument they are effectively making is that public schooling only works and *should only work* for the lucky kids whose parents are able to teach them or at least strongly reinforce concepts at home every single night. In reality, public school should be most effective for those whose parents can’t even read and can’t dedicate time to review everything learned in school every day.

So yes, in an ideal world, parents should at the very least read with their kids every day. I do and I think everyone should. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and our schools shouldn’t be set up in such a way that only kids living in an ideal world are taught to read.

Rant over! I just see this argument made so much.

I ran into the grocery store and didn’t realize I left my phone in my car. My kids were with me so I decided to just leave it since I only had to get 5 items.

When I went back out to get it 15 minutes later, it would not connect to cellular or WiFi and the camera was foggy. Yes it was hot outside but the phone was in the backseat not in the sunlight at all, so I didn’t think it would cause a problem.

I can now sometimes get it to connect to LTE/5G, but the option to turn on WiFi is grayed out. I’ve tried force restarting, resetting all network settings, all the typical recommendations.

Camera is still foggy too but I thought I might wait that out and see if it resolves.

There is no Apple Store within 4 hours of me and last time I had to get support around here it was quite the ordeal and took several weeks and hours waiting at BB. Not looking forward to dealing with that again if I can avoid it.

The title should be “What did you still need to buy for the third (or fourth or fifth etc) baby?

Just wondering what, if anything, you still needed to buy even after having multiple babies in a row. Obviously diapers, wipes, car seats, and clothes, but anything that you felt like you got away without for the first two or so, but decided to spring for once you had more?

- For example, I hate our high chair and I was just dealing with it, but now that we’re having more, I feel like I need to get one I like, so I added that to my registry.

- Wonderfold wagon, for obvious reasons.

- New wipe warmer. I had been getting by with a secondhand one that always had the nightlight feature on, which was annoying when I wanted it to be dark.

Just got a Costco membership and got overwhelmed while shopping there, so I probably missed a lot. I would like to make a master list for big monthly trips.

Just curious what staples you like to get (in terms of food). I don’t mean like frozen prepared foods or packaged snacks, but just basics such as:

Produce (of course)
Coffee
Dates
Oats

Do they have vegan chocolate chips, flax seed, nutritional yeast?

What am I missing?

We are so blessed with what some would call a big family, so the membership definitely makes sense for us, just want to make sure I’m making the most of it. Any Costco shopping tips are welcome!

Car is a Toyota Highlander. Trying to avoid using the third row for now.

My oldest will be 4.5 when the new baby will be transitioning out of her infant seat. I’ll have two Britax Poplar S’s in the second row and need a third seat for my oldest.

I’m deciding between the Chicco MyFit (17.5 inches, true harness booster) and Chicco Fit3x (16.7 inches, convertible seat).

Someone mentioned it can be tricky to do a 3 across setup with a harness booster that has arm rests (like the MyFit does)—has that been true in your case if you’ve experienced it? The arm rests look comfy but perhaps not practical for this setup. I plan to put the oldest in the middle to keep the peace.

I don’t want to use Diono due to crash tests ratings, and Graco Tranzitions is too wide. I also like the Cleartex fabric option Chicco offers, so I think these two are my best bet unless I’m overlooking something.

Lastly, a random question for Highlander drivers—when you do start using the third row, do you have kids climb in through the rear hatch? Seems practical but I don’t love the optics, lol.