u/Difficult_Currency75

I don’t mean drifting apart in the sense of talking less. I mean something else — my family and I still talk, but they don’t get what my life actually looks like.
Every time I go back home, I get comments about how my life is so much better than theirs since they’re in a poor country in which i lived in almost all of my life by the way and I’m in the US now. What gets erased every time is that I got here completely on my own merit. I’m low-income, first-gen, and an international student trying to navigate the job market, internships, my education, a social life, culture shock, and getting sick while alone with barely any real friends (most of the “friends” I have here are pretty surface-level).
At one point they compared a my life in the US to a resort vacation, like I was living some easy, glamorous life. When I pushed back and said that’s not what’s happening, I got “sorry you’re struggling, we know it’s hard” — but it never feels genuine. It feels like something said to close the conversation, not something said because they actually sat with what I told them.
I don’t even want constant acknowledgment of how hard things are. I just don’t want to be quietly measured against them and lose every time, like struggle only counts if it happens in a “worse” country. I’m out here handling financial stress, social isolation, academic pressure, and health issues I can’t afford to deal with properly — and somehow that all gets flattened into “must be nice, different country”
Dude, I don’t get a penny from them. I’m fully relying on myself — work study, trying to keep a 4.0 GPA, no financial safety net. I’m starting my PhD soon too, so the stress scale is only going up from here.
Anyone else dealt with this? Not a communication gap, but an understanding gap. What should i do? It is getting on my nerves and i feel that my family can’t understand how hard i try. I stand carrying my life all alone

I keep having people in the tech space come up to me and say stuff like, "Oh, just wait, in a few years your work will be completely done by AI." Then they always hit me with the advice: "You need to pivot and get involved in AI medical stuff." To be honest, I think this narrative is diabolical and just fundamentally untrue.
I’ve worked with computational tools before, and the reality is that they always have to be backed up and validated by wet lab work- most turn up to be wrong.When it comes to developing drugs and running clinical trials, it should be done by humans, not robots or algorithms. You can't just simulate complex human biology flawlessly without real-world, physical verification. And i know in fee years, it will be so damn smart for ai and they will be capable of doing many things, but i refuse to think it will replace us?
Beyond the science of it, there's a personal side to this too: I actually like manual work. I like using my brain and using my hands in tandem. I don't want to spend my entire career staring at a screen managing prompts.
It feels like a lot of tech people don't actually understand what goes into biological validation or the ethical necessity of human-driven medicine.
What do you guys think about this? Are you seeing this same pushy attitude from the tech sector, and how do you actually see the balance between AI and wet lab work panning out in the real world?

I’m joining a PhD program straight from undergrad this fall, and I’m already freaking out about the qualifying exam next year.

I still find it hard to read papers sometimes — it takes me way too long. I don’t feel like I have a solid grasp on all the core immunology concepts yet. I am really still confused between the many subtypes of T cells . I did research in undergrad, but it was on a pretty narrow topics compared to the breadth I feel like I need now.

The idea of standing in front of my committee, presenting a proposal, and defending it under questioning terrifies me. I’m scared of failing and losing everything I’ve worked for.

What should I actually be doing this summer to prepare? Am I overreacting, or is this a normal amount of panic for someone going straight from undergrad into a PhD?

I thought I knew exactly what I wanted in a lab. Now I'm spiraling during phd rotations and I don't know if I'm being picky or just scared.

I've been in 4 lab before phd. Different environments, different styles, different fields. I KNOW what I want. Or I thought I did.

What I want is someone who's present when I have questions, but also gives me the space to drive my own ideas and bring them to the table. Not a micromanager, not someone who disappears. Is that hands-on or hands-off?? I genuinely don't know where that falls and it's messing with my head.

Now I'm figuring my first rotation and everyone told me to just talk to the students in the labs .But every single person I talk to is clearly not comfortable being real with me. They either say the PI is hands-off or hands-on and that's it- they answer the questions but they are vague.No detail. No honesty. I get it — I'm a stranger asking them to talk about their advisor — but it leaves me with nothing.

And then I start spiraling. I see a lab where two students joined in 2019-2020 and still haven't graduated — I panic. I see fewer publications than I expected — I panic. I feel a slightly off vibe from one student — I don't even want to rotate anymore even if everything else seems perfect.

Am I being too picky? Is this normal? How did you actually figure out if a lab was right for you when everyone's being guarded and nothing looks perfect on paper? Rotation is a reason to figure this out , but everything is nicer during rotation and i am scared to be through another toxic lab since i had a previous traumatizing experience . I would appreciate any advice or input

So I’m a PhD student moving to a new city and I just applied for an apartment. The landlord uses Nova Credit to check your checking account balance and… I have $26 in there right now because I was moving.

The thing is, I submitted proof of my PhD stipend starting in September AND I have a move-in grant coming in August but not stated in the stipedn. I even messaged the agent to give her a heads up about the balance before she saw it.

But I’m still spiraling lol. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did you get approved? Do landlords care more about future income or current?

Please tell me I’m not cooked 🙏

I’m starting my PhD soon and beginning to reach out to professors about potential rotations. I’m not fully sure what these emails are supposed to look like, and I’d appreciate advice.

Right now, I usually email PIs by briefly introducing myself, mentioning my broad research interests, saying that their lab seems aligned with those interests, briefly summarizing my relevant experience, attaching my CV, and asking whether they are taking rotation students and would be open to meeting.

However, I don’t deeply tailor each email to their specific research because I’m still trying to explore different areas and figure out what I’m interested in. Even if it is close to my research, i try not to make the email very long. I also haven’t received many responses yet, and I’m wondering whether that is normal or whether my emails need to be more specific.

I’d also appreciate advice on what to expect in these meetings. If a PI discusses possible rotation projects, am I expected to already know their papers well? Or is it okay to come in with a general understanding of the lab and use the meeting to learn more about what they are currently working on?

Any advice on how to approach rotation emails, follow-ups, and initial PI meetings would be really appreciated.

In my freshman year, during my very first research experience, I ended up in what I can only describe as an abusive lab environment.

Despite working incredibly hard, becoming independent, and consistently bringing in data, both my PI and my direct mentor seemed to want me gone. I was the only non-Latino person in the lab at the time, and eventually it felt like they were both pushing me out by making the environment unbearable.

There were many incidents. At one point, I was given contaminated cells and later blamed for contaminating them myself. After I left, it was confirmed that the cells had already been contaminated. My work was dismissed, I was treated disrespectfully, and I was repeatedly put down. Every day seemed to bring a new reason to cry.

Eventually, I went to the department chair. He told me he would look into the situation, but my PI responded by making accusations about me that were simply not true. The chair believed her. Everyone in the lab seemed afraid to speak up.

In the end, I was fired. During that conversation, she told me I would never succeed anywhere and that I was a loser.

What made things even worse was that she was a new assistant professor and seemed terrified that I might continue reporting what was happening. She spoke to many professors in the department about me, and my reputation was damaged so badly that not a single lab at my university would take me afterward.

Since then, I’ve done well. I found research opportunities outside my institution, worked in labs at Ivy League schools during both the academic year and summers, and I’ll be starting a PhD at a top-10 program this fall.

Objectively, I know I proved her wrong.

But today something happened that caught me completely off guard. I was talking to a graduate student about a potential rotation PI, and something about the way she spoke reminded me so much of my former PI. I immediately felt overwhelmed and started crying. A wave of fear hit me that I haven’t felt in years.

I always knew freshman year affected me, but I thought I had healed. Looking back, I think I spent all my energy surviving and building my career rather than actually processing what happened.
I tried to reframe what happened for a long time. I told myself that this experience changed me for the better because it made me more aware, more resilient, and more mature. I tried to see it as a redirection rather than a setback. In many ways, I was genuinely grateful for it because it pushed me toward opportunities and places that I might never have reached otherwise. But lately, all of that perspective seems to have disappeared, and I find myself feeling the weight of it again.

Now that I’m about to start my PhD, all the worst-case scenarios are replaying in my head. What if I end up in another toxic rotation? What if I commit to a lab and the PI turns out to be like her? What if it happens all over again?

Therapy didn’t help much, and I think I’ve become extremely avoidant since that experience. I know this probably sounds more like something for a therapist than for r/labrats, but I’m wondering if anyone here has gone through something similar.

How did you move forward? How did you learn to trust PIs and labs again after a genuinely bad experience?
Might seem like i am overreacting, but what i put there were small pieces of the amount of verbal abuse i got.

I’m honestly so frustrated with trying to stay in a calorie deficit. Every time I start, I end up falling off after a few days. I’m not overweight (around 63 kg), but I’d like to lose some body fat and look more defined.
I’ve recently started going to the gym, and I know that diet is going to be a huge part of reaching my goals. My biggest struggle is cravings, especially for sugary foods. I also find tracking calories really overwhelming because I never know how many calories are actually in my meals.
I’ve tried looking for apps, but many of the good ones require a subscription. I’ve also used ChatGPT before, but I know it can’t always estimate calories accurately.
For those of you who successfully lost weight or stayed consistent with a calorie deficit:
How did you build the discipline to stick with it?
What was the easiest way for you to track calories?
How do you estimate calories in homemade meals?
Are there any free apps or resources you would recommend?
I’d really appreciate any advice because I feel stuck in a cycle of starting over and never making much progress.

Hi everyone,
I’m an incoming PhD student and I’m considering rotating in a new lab that I’m very interested in. If the rotation goes well, I could also see myself joining it for my thesis work.
One thing that gives me pause is that the lab is very new and currently doesn’t have a lab manager or technician. Because of that, the PhD students are responsible for managing their own mouse colonies, including breeding, maintenance, genotyping, and everything that comes with it.
I’ve never done mouse colony management before, so part of me thinks it could be a valuable skill to add to my toolkit. On the other hand, I’m worried about the time commitment. I’m joining a PhD program to do research, and I’m concerned about how much time colony maintenance could take away from experiments and other professional development opportunities.
I’m also wondering:
How many hours per week does mouse colony management realistically take?
What are the biggest pros and cons of being responsible for your own colonies?
Has anyone regretted joining a lab with this setup?
What happens if you want to take a vacation, attend conferences, or do a summer internship? How is colony coverage usually handled? I don’t want to ask other students who already have enough in their plate

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been in similar situations, especially in immunology or mouse-heavy labs. I already asked some students in the lab and they said it can be difficult or needs too much planning if u are running big experiments

I’m an incoming PhD student and will be meeting with current students in a lab that I’m considering joining. I already have a few questions in mind, but I want to make sure I cover everything important before making a decision.
So far, I’m planning to ask about:
The overall lab environment and culture
The PI’s mentorship style
Work-life balance and expectations
Whether students are allowed or encouraged to pursue biotech internships during the PhD
What other questions would you recommend asking current lab members?

I’m an incoming PhD student, and before starting the program, I talked with a professor to discuss potentially rotating in their lab. I have a meeting with one of the profs to discuss rotating with them further and their projects. I have not met yet, but we will in 2 weeks.

Since then, I’ve learned more about the other labs in the program and found several that may fit my research interests better. We only have a limited number of rotations, and I’m now worried that rotating in this lab mainly because I already spoke with the PI would mean losing the opportunity to explore a lab that may be a stronger fit.

The professor was very kind, and I don’t want to seem flaky, damage the relationship, or create a bad impression before I even start the program. At the same time, I don’t think I ever made a formal commitment to rotate there.

Is it normal to change your mind after an initial meeting about potential rotation projects? How would you communicate this respectfully to the professor?

Hi everyone!

I’m an incoming PhD student in Immunology (starting this August), and I know this may sound a little early since I’m just beginning, but I’m already thinking about what comes after graduate school.

As an international student on a visa, I don’t have much flexibility to spend a long time job searching after graduation, so I’d like to start preparing as early as possible to be a strong candidate for biotech roles by the time I finish my PhD.

My knowledge of the biotech industry is currently pretty limited, which is why I’m reaching out here. What are some things I can do during my PhD to make myself competitive for biotech positions? Are there specific skills, experiences, internships, or networking opportunities I should focus on?

Also, are summer internships or programs in biotech common or even allowed for PhD students? If so, when is the best time during a PhD to pursue them?

I’d appreciate any advice from people who have successfully made the transition from academia to biotech. Thanks!

Hi everyone!

I’m an incoming PhD student in Immunology (starting this August), and I know this may sound a little early since I’m just beginning, but I’m already thinking about what comes after graduate school.

As an international student on a visa, I don’t have much flexibility to spend a long time job searching after graduation, so I’d like to start preparing as early as possible to be a strong candidate for biotech roles by the time I finish my PhD.

My knowledge of the biotech industry is currently pretty limited, which is why I’m reaching out here. What are some things I can do during my PhD to make myself competitive for biotech positions? Are there specific skills, experiences, internships, or networking opportunities I should focus on?

Also, are summer internships or programs in biotech common or even allowed for PhD students? If so, when is the best time during a PhD to pursue them?

I’d appreciate any advice from people who have successfully made the transition from academia to biotech. Thanks!

I am incoming phd student in biological sciences, and i am considering taking an apartment in south loop. I am just scared it gets difficult in winter, so i wanted to ask - does it actually get difficult in the winter? I have no car, so i will need to commute to the med school. Is the shuttle reliable? Is the walk after taking the cta difficult? Thanks

I am a first year PhD , and i want to have some activities related to research advocacy but i am somehow lost in the communities/ activities i should participate in. If any is aware of anything that you recommend being part at, please let me know :))

I’m an incoming PhD student going straight from undergrad into an Immunology program. Immunology wasn’t offered as a major at my university, but I’ve had multiple research experiences related to biology, cancer, and immune-related work.

This summer, I’m trying to prepare by reading review papers, but I’m finding it really difficult. I feel like I don’t understand many of the terms, proteins, pathways, and cell types, so I end up searching almost every word I come across. It makes reading very slow, and honestly, it has made me feel like I’m not ready or not good enough.

I know I’m good at lab work, and I’ve been relatively good at generating ideas and building projects from scratch. But I also know a PhD is different, and I’m scared I might not be prepared enough.

For people who started a PhD feeling behind, especially in a field where they didn’t have a formal major: how did you build confidence? How did you approach reading papers without getting overwhelmed by every unfamiliar term?

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Hi all,

I’m an undergraduate starting a PhD in the fall, and I’m very interested in getting involved in science communication writing. I’m especially interested in writing articles similar to those in the community or careers sections of science magazines.

I’m not sure where to start, and I know many of you have probably written pieces or contributed to science communication in some way. I would really appreciate any advice on how to begin, where to look for opportunities, how to pitch article ideas, or what skills I should work on first.

I (F) just graduated college and it was my birthday. A close friend of mine from college is flying out and moving away tomorrow.
To give some context: we became close quickly, and I have always tried to be a great friend to her. I always listen to her vent about her life and stress. When it was her birthday, I was in the absolute thick of major exams, job interviews, and grad school admissions. Even though I was drowning in work, I made her a priority—I dressed up, bought her a nice gift, and showed up to celebrate her because I care about her.
Lately, whenever I try to talk about my own life or stress, she shuts it down with: "Sorry, I can't listen, I'm too stressed out about my own life." Today was my birthday, and she called me and said, "Hey, I'm stressed out packing, but I grabbed you a cake/honeycomb. Do you want to come pick it up or do you want me to drop it at your house?" It felt weird, but I went to go pick it up. When I got there, her energy was incredibly low. She didn't invite me in or ask me to stay. She just handed me a $7 grocery store honeycomb and cookies, and basically ushered me out the door. It felt like a DoorDash transaction, not a birthday celebration. I felt like an inconvenience.
The worst part? Her roommate literally stated right in front of her that she was already pretty much done packing. So the "I'm too busy and drowning in boxes" excuse was a lie. She had the time; she just didn't want to spend it on me. On top of that, I’ve felt excluded by both of them recently (like the roommate hanging out with others and leaving me out), despite me always putting them at the top of my list.
I ended up sending her a text calling her out calmly, letting her know that picking up the gift felt rushed, hurtful, and like a chore to her rather than a celebration—especially since I knew she was done packing.
I don't feel appreciated or celebrated at all. Am I overreacting or caring too much, or was this a completely transactional and bad friend move?

I (F) just graduated college and it was my birthday. A close friend of mine from college is flying out and moving away tomorrow.
To give some context: we became close quickly, and I have always tried to be a great friend to her. I always listen to her vent about her life and stress. When it was her birthday, I was in the absolute thick of major exams, job interviews, and grad school admissions. Even though I was drowning in work, I made her a priority—I dressed up, bought her a nice gift, and showed up to celebrate her because I care about her.
Lately, whenever I try to talk about my own life or stress, she shuts it down with: "Sorry, I can't listen, I'm too stressed out about my own life." Today was my birthday, and she called me and said, "Hey, I'm stressed out packing, but I grabbed you a cake/honeycomb. Do you want to come pick it up or do you want me to drop it at your house?" It felt weird, but I went to go pick it up. When I got there, her energy was incredibly low. She didn't invite me in or ask me to stay. She just handed me a $7 grocery store honeycomb and cookies, and basically ushered me out the door. It felt like a DoorDash transaction, not a birthday celebration. I felt like an inconvenience.
The worst part? Her roommate literally stated right in front of her that she was already pretty much done packing. So the "I'm too busy and drowning in boxes" excuse was a lie. She had the time; she just didn't want to spend it on me. On top of that, I’ve felt excluded by both of them recently (like the roommate hanging out with others and leaving me out), despite me always putting them at the top of my list.
I ended up sending her a text calling her out calmly, letting her know that picking up the gift felt rushed, hurtful, and like a chore to her rather than a celebration—especially since I knew she was done packing.
I don't feel appreciated or celebrated at all. Am I overreacting or caring too much, or was this a completely transactional and bad friend move?

Has anyone used the Abcam protein extraction kit for adherent cancer cells in 24-well plates before?

This is my first time running a large extraction (~100 samples), and I’m stressed about messing it up because I realistically do not have time to repeat it.

I’ll be using 24-well plates with adherent cancer cells. If anyone has experience with this kit specifically, I would really appreciate practical advice/tips before I start.

Things I’m worried about:
- will not be able to count the cells in the 100 samples or i will lose my hand midway
- losing cells during washes/media removal
- inconsistent lysis across wells
- timing when processing many samples
- whether to process plate-by-plate or row-by-row
- avoiding protein degradation during a long extraction workflow
- handling/sample storage logistics for this many samples

Also:
- did you keep plates on ice during lysis?
- how long did you incubate the lysis buffer?
- did you scrape or pipette for detachment?
- any mistakes you made the first time?

Any workflow or “wish I knew this earlier” advice would help a lot.