u/Emotional-Watch4544

Here is the original post.

So, I had it out with my coworker via Slack today. Yesterday during a meeting he sent me some pointless texts that I ignored. I was WFH. This morning I was at my desk minding my own business and see from the corner of my eye my coworker walking straight toward my desk. He came over, leaned in near me and starts giving me a hard time about not reply to his texts. It really made me panic, but I think my anger took over.

My office was super quiet (like a library) and I felt uncomfortable having a confrontation, so I just said I was going to send him a message on Slack. Which, I did. I let him have it. I told him he needs to stop and his behavior is inappropriate. His tone immediately changed to super-polite/PC/HR friendly responses, which makes me think this is not the first time this has happened. They came across more as placating and not actually trying to understand or respect what I was saying.

I straight up asked what his problem was and told him he wasn't entitled to my time or attention. He gave a very generic response about respecting my professional opinion and insights about work, which I literally told him was horse shit because his communications are not work-related and are an invasion of my privacy. He played dumb like he didn't understand, so I brought up some of incidents, and ended with "back the fuck off, you aren't important." which seemed to set him off because his tone changed and he became defensive and implied his behavior wasn't a problem. I didn't reply after that.

I have screenshots of the conversation saved and plan to go back and document earlier messages/incidents. Do you think it's worth going to my bosses about this? Or should I wait and see what happens now?

I think I am still a fairly new runner. I started last August and worked my way up from 0 miles to doing a 10 mile race in February. Since then I've been training for hyrox, so my running became much less consistent. When I started training I was focused on building strength, and then on specific hyrox training, when I started adding runs back in. However, since then, I find myself having a lot of anxiety surrounding running.

It happened a little when training for the 10 miler, but moreso now. I end up being in my head a lot during runs, and sometimes (like yesterday) I end up skipping a run and then feeling really guilty about it. I'm curious how other people have handled things like this?

I am dealing with a male coworker whose behavior is really starting to creep me out. My office is small (15-20 people) and there is no real HR person or someone I could go to with this situation. I used to consider him a work friend, until I realized his behavior was all about getting attention from me.

I didn't think much of it until my job/life became much busier and he's taken it very personally. He seems to feel entitled to my attention and is acting out in weird ways that are making me uncomfortable. We don't collaborate on anything and have no work-related reason to interact. He doesn't seem able to accept anything he perceives as rejection and has problems accepting no.

I realize I'm now always on edge at the office because of this and am trying to avoid him at all costs, which seems to be making things worse. I really do not want to be wasting time and energy on this guy, but I feel like I'm being monitored by him all the time. His behaviors really catch me off guard and make me super anxious, so I kind of freeze in the moment. I'm feeling really stuck since I can only control my behavior, and he doesn't seem to respect boundaries.

I'm curious how others who have experienced something like this handled it, or, how you would handle it if you were in my shoes?

Some things he does/has done:

- I've gotten very into health/fitness. This seems to bother him so he will make some sort of jab at my strength or talk about how strong he is even if he has a dad bod.

- I'm training for a competition so now I train after work or do errands I didn't have time/energy for on the weekend. If he wants me to take the same train home with him, and I say no, he will interrogate me or ask "why?" aggressively and relentlessly. One time he would not leave my desk until I literally started ignoring him.

- He has went as far as to accuse me, more than once, of intentionally making up reasons to not eat lunch with him or take the train. An example is I had a deadline for a presentation at 2, so I said no to lunch. At 2:15 he comes to my desk and sarcastically says "I see your presentation is going well." I never said I was giving the presentation...I was just preparing it.

- These times when he comes to my desk he also places his arms in a way where I am physically blocked in my cubicle.

- In a zoom meeting, he was watching me (I was in person in a conference room, he was remote) and saw me pick up my phone so he immediately started texting me.

- In another zoom meeting, I turned my camera on when it was my turn to speak, and he immediately started texting me making comments about the stuff in my house that was in the background.

- Bring up his dead bedroom marriage or sex in various ways. One example was I mentioned a workout challenge I was doing and he asked if sex, then said it didn't matter because he wasn't having any. Another time he told me about his OF account (yuck).

- Most times he walks past my desk, he turns to see what is on my computer screen.

- Started making jokes about me dating the intern and went as far as to hack into the intern's slack account message me pretending to be him.

- In group settings, he'll either say something calling me out in a subtle negging sort of way, or if I am speaking in a group he'll interject and try to make what I'm saying about him.

This isn’t about a specific situation or recent interaction, as I am off of dating apps, but I am curious how other women over 40 feel.

When I was on dating apps, I used a fairly broad age range, as I don’t mind guys younger than I am. most of those guys were easy to weed out because they would say “hey gorgeous/sexy/cutie” or “you’re hot.” 🙄

But a comment I got often from the 40+ men would be along the lines of “wow, you take really good care of yourself” which I find just as off-putting. I feel like it’s just a more polite/subtle way of looking at me for my body or objectifying me. Not to mention, my profile had all sorts of hobbies or things to open up a conversation with, so something about this just gives me the ick big time.

Would this type of message bother anyone else?

I've been at F45 just under 2 months and signed up for 8 more. Some moves I see a lot, and others only once or twice, so I am curious what others have encountered.

The most challenging exercise I think I've seen is a kneel jump.

What I find most challenging are anything pull-up related or single leg kettlebell RDL with a row.

My favorites are sled push and pulls. I joined F45 because I am doing my first hyrox and had never used a sled. I was so intimidated at first and now I want to see how many plates I can get to (currently at 175kg including sled)!

Is it worth signing up? What kind of rewards do you get?

I joined F45 last month and have already done 33 classes! I've tried signing up on the app, but I have a weird issue where I can't check the "I have read the terms" box to continue, because the button to continue is blocking it. I have an older phone with a small screen, so if it's worth joining maybe I can do it from a friend's phone or something.

I am genuinely curious. I really like this sub, but my experience interacting with men here has been overwhelmingly bad. I've gotten weird DMs, been propositioned in threads and then sent harassing DMs when I shot it down, and a lot of the men in the comments seem angry and argumentative about their view rather than trying to see the woman's point of view. Most posts I see by men seem to end up being removed because they are just complaining about women or don't have a real question. I keep considering leaving the sub because of it, but I really appreciate the perspective and camaraderie of the women here.

So yeah, I'm wondering if it's just me? And if it's not, would it be possible to consider making this sub women only?

Hi all! I (42F) signed up for a series of 5k races meant to improve speed and the first one is next Wednesday. The weather has had some insane temperature swings and I am dismayed to see that it's going to be 90 degrees on the first race day. For context, I've been running in 50-60 degree weather.

I'm also training for Hyrox and have a hyrox workout that morning (race is in the evening). I've done longer runs after similar workouts, but not in such high temps, and I only took up running late last summer when it wasn't so hot.

Does anyone have any tips for handling the temperatures? I don't mind phoning this race in a bit, but would still like to PR compared to the last official 5k race I did (35mins).

Hyrox NYC will be my first and I am just under 4 weeks out (I'm going on the last day), I am re-visiting my training strategy. I had planned for a deload week, but realize I am not sure what exactly it should look like and I am curious what others do.

I am signed up for a 5K race a few days before and plan for that to be my last real workout. Aside from loading up on carbs, is there anything else I should consider? I'm super excited!

Hi all, for those of your who run and lift or run and do multi forms of exercise, I’m curious what kind of weekly mileage you have, and how much time is spent running in comparison to other activities?

I’m (42F) training for my first Hyrox and find it challenging to do the variety of workouts I want/need to do each week. I’m not necessarily looking for advice, just curious to hear what works well for others. In general, I’d like to up my weekly running mileage and work on getting faster, but not sacrifice strength training and classes I enjoy.