u/Emotional_Hornet7285

i care about her a ton, and i want to know how i should respond. she's my sister from another mister and i wanna help in any way i can

"Im going to a friend's pool party tomorrow w the whole friend group n shi and im so scared

I have this huge ahh belly and its disgusting

I wish I was skinny

I wanna be skinny

So bad

Ewew

I only have 2 piece swimsuits too

Im gonna cryy"

artist rendition of her similar body type

so far
i sent a little few messages to her, since i'm still not sure how to go about this
"just have fun ok
just focus on having fun, ily"

i was also thinking "you're feeling self-conscious as if they would talk about your body. if they do point it out in any derogatory way, they're not a good friend, and so make sure to stand up to that and say how their comment, bo matter how they worded it, made you feel. if they're sympathetic and apologize, that's good, if not, put up that boundary", is something else i was thinking of typing

Thankfully, I am not in those stressful times anymore. Nonetheless, it had its effects on me. Short bursts of relaxation is aight, I like that tingly feeling. But when my whole parasympathetic system is really getting relaxed, especially in meditation, it can feel really overwhelming, it would be a daunting but possible task for me to just sit in allat. What would you guys say is the best way for me to handle re-regulating my nervous system?

It definirely didnt had time to relax back then, and now that I have opportunities to let it happen, primarily during meditiation and i'm feeling real tingly. Is it just something I just gotta slowly get used to? Meditate, see how long I can stay inside that very active parasympathetic system state, slowly build tolerance? Any tips, need help here

help

here's my process

i message a person. i say hiii, i say the shared interest, but i also know that a shared interest isn't enough to make a friend. i say how i want to find a friend: that "my mind is really vast and theres a lot, and there's a lot of feeling in there too. and i really want someone to explore it and get to learn it. AND SAME WITH YOU TOO, i totes want to learn about you as well"

maybe i suggest to hang out in gmod, or some roblox game where we can mutually head nod to each other's words, i'll ask questions to my social ability when they share something. and most of all, i know how much my heart lights up when someone says, "well what about you?", or they ask a question back to me.

should i always tell them, "by the way, if we could try being friends, i want to let you know that it lights up my heart when someone asks a question about me, or reaches back out to me even when i haven't sent a message yet- i almost always put in the effort with that and, again, it lights up my deprived heart so much when someone does that for me".

if i say that, will they get the memo? will they take that into account and do that- and then, i would be increasingly loyal to them, and then my heart is smiling and hopefully theirs' is too?

the solutions in the two paragraphs above haven't been implemented yet. but, i realized it while i was writing this.

the complaint: "i have to be lowkey with this but it tends to be for me that i try to learn about others, but no one ever tries to ask questions back about me, or no one tries to take time to spend time with me. or they're just busy- but regardless, i feel like i'm doing something wrong, and the whole time i'm still suffering in my social health because i don't have any good anchor that i can be loyal to, and communicate with. and its really sucking for me in the past month and more,

i hope my fears and pains don't deepen with all of this and me reaching out to people"

---

those fears and pains i feel, those wounds. times where that happens,

is when i see someone online, but they aren't messaging me back. if they're busy, okay, but please tell me... i ask, "hey could we hang out", when we do hang out, i feel good, but then they don't ask to hang out another time. please, i set aside time in my

day to hang out with you, did i do something wrong if you donmt want to hang out more..? then my wound and fear grows,

and then i stop because they're not reaching out to me, they're not asking "hey wanna hang out?" it's like i'm doing something wrong, i don't know what it is. am i expecting too much of the other person? please... this is such a huge crutch in the way of

my personal growth... i care about people and hearing them so much, but no one ever takes the time to do it back for me, then i can't handle the distress of seeing those dead dms. i can't. i just want someone to reach a hand out to me so bad, the way i keep putting my hand out for a moment, then someone grabs on, but then they let go and i don't know where they went, and then waiting there like a dog hurts so much that i run away. then i reach a hand out again to another person, then the cycle repeats. it hurts so bad. do i have to keep putting my hand out to a person who grabs my hand once then lets go, how long do i have to wait in that limbo? is this how making friendships work online? this.. this is all i have to say. i need advice, or anything. i'm an infj (16personalities is ass and untrustworthy btw), and enneagram 1w2 sp/so if that helps

I know the inside of me wants to protect me. I just don't know which times I should put up the fight/defiance to let myself be heard and not have my values be trampled upon or be seen as wrong (i'm find with being proven wrong if the other person is legitimately considering and using some amount of Fe in their decision making), and when I should go for a different course of action. This only happens with people I was already affected by multiple times of course- like a debt

edit: thank you all for the advice ❤️

Example: I'm trying to make my character say Emu, but not "Eee mu", I want it to be EH-mu.

If I go to the pronouncation part, I can type much more in there- andd I can make say "Ehre-mu", and it'll sound pretty close.

Hope this tip helps those in need!

I'm Infj 1w2 (so my mbti's cognitive functions value and focus on the ethics and values of others and what things affect them), and she's ENTP/ENFP 6. Anyway, Holy SHIT she, like I VALUE her as a friend it's just SHE, SHE SORT OF understands and sees how to value people at times, but she is really stubborn with her views on things, or like she really doesn't want things to be milked.

The conversation I had with her, about a franchise about Project Sekai, she's like "I'd hate a PJSK 2 they'd be milking the franchise at that point", then on my side I consider, (Project Sekai had wonderful stories for each character, every character and the stories, I could see and I valued their struggles and they touched my heart in so many ways.

It gave me inspiration, hope, made me feel happy, yada yada. So I understand that if about a few years out from PJSK's lifespan, like 10+, they make other groups with new characters and new stories that's at the same quality standard as the stories that I read from the first Project Sekai characters.

Like, seeing how I was healthily affected and grew from Project Sekai's stories and all their characters over multiple years, I understand totally of letting the bird fly out of the nest.)

There's a lot of nuance I guess that isn't explained on my side and her side and I won't go into detail here. ANYWAY the point is, how do you guys feel with a enneagram 6 &/or ENTP/ENFP 6 like this, or have you ever met a person like this before in your life that you could relate to my brain's struggles with?

I'm Infj 1w2 (im a transgirl not that its important) and she's ENTP/ENFP 6. (the enneagram 6 makes a person really stick with the stuff they're attached to in a way.) Anyway, Holy SHIT she, like I VALUE her as a friend it's just SHE, SHE SORT OF understands and sees how to value people at times, but she is really stubborn with her views on things, or like she really doesn't want things to be milked.

The conversstion I had with her, about a franchise about Project Sekai, she's like "I'd hate a PJSK 2 they'd be milking the franchise at that point", then on my side I consider, (Project Sekai had wonderful stories for each character, every character and the stories, I could see and I valued their struggles and they touched my heart in so many ways.

It gave me inspiration, hope, made me feel happy, yada yada. So I understand that if about a few years out from PJSK's lifespan, like 10+, they make other groups with new characters and new stories that's at the same quality standard as the stories that I read from the first Project Sekai characters.

Like, seeing how I was healthily affected and grew from Project Sekai's stories and all their characters over multiple years, I understand totally of letting the bird fly out of the nest.)

There's a lot of nuance I guess that isn't explained on my side and her side and I won't go into detail here. ANYWAY the point is, how do you INFJ's or others here, feel with an ENTP/ENFP 6 like this, or have you ever met a person like this before in your life that you could relate to my brain's struggles with?

I have people that i know and can see that, they love and care for me- whether it be my mom making food for me in spite of the pain she has inflicted to me in the past,

friends online that i know logically that they love and care for me, but my heart often doesn't feel that reciprocity or care from them...

not having anyone in real life is definitely a personal factor in my life, and also my chronic lack of support in the past three years when i was going through something that my family opposed on helping me. the storm of that is over but, it still left wounds on my heart that i'm trying to heal from.

I just feel really lonely a lot because it's a natural impulse for me to think of a person and want to message or be present for them, but when have they ever done that for me? it feels as though my prescence in their lives are taken for granted, and in the times where i feel lonely myself, no one is reaching out to me inspite of all these people i have messaged before

i am definitely a fool that needs improvement, and am blind in some ways. i'm not going to hate myself for my faults i just simply wish to improve; but anyway, yeah sometimes i find it hard to feel actually loved or cared for by people. anyone got any words or advice or anything, since right now my current solution is to just spend time by myself & focus on recovering by myself