So I'm just beginning my journey and I am split between making a decision to use a pick or not.

I want to stick to acoustic guitars (have no intention to switch to electric at least for the time being). So can someone tell me the pros and cons of using a pick and playing with fingers as a beginner?

Also is one necessarily easier than the other?

So I (19M) have run into a wall and had a very rough phase with my girlfriend (18F) which resulted in our relationship going on a break. It has really hurt both of us and this has pushed me to make some changes and reflect.

I have finally started to ask questions about my attachment style but I cannot really pin-point the exact style.

I recently gave an online test and it came that my style was Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized). I was reading a book on working with relationship jealousy and insecurity and according to that book I felt my style Anxious.

When I look at me behavior I feel I exhibit anxious tendencies but then I also feel I have some avoidant tendencies (though my anxious tendencies are more frequent than avoidant ones).

For example, any slight friendly male interaction that my girlfriend has results in me being anxious, threatened and worried. I start thinking she doesn't love me and I find myself unable to trust her words when she tries to reassure me. So I basically get anxious on small things in our relationship especially when there's a male friend involved. Secondly when our relationship reached a point where we had confessed our feelings and were about to start to date - I almost suddenly withdrew and started to become distant from her. It's not like I lost interest or whatever, but I just withdrew and felt a sudden need to focus on my studies and career than relationship. Which probably shows an avoidant style.

So I am basically getting confused on how to actually identify my attachment style in detail. Unless I truly figure out what my style is I cannot start working on it.

So can y'all please help me by recommending me books, articles, tests etc or any resources that you think could guide me through understanding and identifying my attachment style precisely and clearly?

Thankyou!

So I (19M) have run into a wall and had a very rough phase with my girlfriend (18F) which resulted in our relationship going on a break. It has really hurt both of us and this has pushed me to make some changes and reflect.

I have finally started to ask questions about my attachment style but I cannot really pin-point the exact style.

I recently gave an online test and it came that my style was Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized). I was reading a book on working with relationship jealousy and insecurity and according to that book I felt my style Anxious.

When I look at me behavior I feel I exhibit anxious tendencies but then I also feel I have some avoidant tendencies (though my anxious tendencies are more frequent than avoidant ones).

For example, any slight friendly male interaction that my girlfriend has results in me being anxious, threatened and worried. I start thinking she doesn't love me and I find myself unable to trust her words when she tries to reassure me. So I basically get anxious on small things in our relationship especially when there's a male friend involved. Secondly when our relationship reached a point where we had confessed our feelings and were about to start to date - I almost suddenly withdrew and started to become distant from her. It's not like I lost interest or whatever, but I just withdrew and felt a sudden need to focus on my studies and career than relationship. Which probably shows an avoidant style.

So I am basically getting confused on how to actually identify my attachment style in detail. Unless I truly figure out what my style is I cannot start working on it.

So can y'all please help me by recommending me books, articles, tests etc or any resources that you think could guide me through understanding and identifying my attachment style precisely and clearly?

Thankyou!

So I (19M) have run into a wall and had a very rough phase with my girlfriend (18F) which resulted in our relationship going on a break. It has really hurt both of us and this has pushed me to make some changes and reflect.

I have finally started to ask questions about my attachment style but I cannot really pin-point the exact style.

I recently gave an online test and it came that my style was Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized). I was reading a book on working with relationship jealousy and insecurity and according to that book I felt my style Anxious.

When I look at me behavior I feel I exhibit anxious tendencies but then I also feel I have some avoidant tendencies (though my anxious tendencies are more frequent than avoidant ones).

For example, any slight friendly male interaction that my girlfriend has results in me being anxious, threatened and worried. I start thinking she doesn't love me and I find myself unable to trust her words when she tries to reassure me. So I basically get anxious on small things in our relationship especially when there's a male friend involved. Secondly when our relationship reached a point where we had confessed our feelings and were about to start to date - I almost suddenly withdrew and started to become distant from her. It's not like I lost interest or whatever, but I just withdrew and felt a sudden need to focus on my studies and career than relationship. Which probably shows an avoidant style.

So I am basically getting confused on how to actually identify my attachment style in detail. Unless I truly figure out what my style is I cannot start working on it.

So can y'all please help me by recommending me books, articles, tests etc or any resources that you think could guide me through understanding and identifying my attachment style precisely and clearly?

Thankyou!

I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for more than two years now and throughout this I have had jealousy and insecurity issues. I am now starting to actively work on it and improve.

I have been able to pin-point contributors of this anxious attachment style of mine - some of them date back to my childhood, things that happened to me and around me and such. They left a mark on me and I haven't been able to get out of them.

One thing I am confused about is what I mentioned in the title.

My girlfriend has a vibrant social life and a good friend circle involving both genders. I on the other hand live in a cave. I have barely 3 friends in my life and the only girl I talk to is my girlfriend. I rarely leave my house. I have social anxiety and overthink a lot about my social interactions and presence. Although I haven't had a particularly hard time making friends whenever I was in school and was relatively known and seen - so I wasn't a lost person in school who nobody knew.

I grow jealousy, anxious and feel threatened seeing any male presence in my girlfriend's life. I feel it hard to digest, I doubt and find myself unable to trust her words when she tries to reassure me. I live in a constant fear that she would leave me, loves someone else or thinks that I am not good enough for her. In my vulnerable moments I first interrogate her about her interactions with a male or her social outing and then I end up degrading myself and cursing myself as some sort of punishment for doing this behavior. However throughout our relationship there has been pretty much nothing that suggests any of this is true.

Coming back to the point. Could my lack of social interactions and platonic friendships be a contributor for my deep rooted insecurity and jealousy?

Because I don't have a social life, I view simple social interactions with a lens of suspicion and doubts. And because I don't have platonic friendships I don't know what it truly means to be friends with opposite gender and thus I always end up questioning my girlfriend's friendships? It's like I cannot believe that a boy and girl can be friends because I don't have those kind of friendships because I never tried to get out of my comfort zone and leave my bubble?

Also because of being locked up for too long in my cave I have gone insane and that my mind is now finding it hard to register human contact and relationships between two genders for anything less than a romantic relationship? Humans are after all social creatures so could it be that my lack of social life is a contributor to my jealousy and insecurity with my girlfriend, especially because she has a healthy social life?

I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for more than two years now and throughout this I have had jealousy and insecurity issues. I am now starting to actively work on it and improve.

I have been able to pin-point contributors of this anxious attachment style of mine - some of them date back to my childhood, things that happened to me and around me and such. They left a mark on me and I haven't been able to get out of them.

One thing I am confused about is what I mentioned in the title.

My girlfriend has a vibrant social life and a good friend circle involving both genders. I on the other hand live in a cave. I have barely 3 friends in my life and the only girl I talk to is my girlfriend. I rarely leave my house. I have social anxiety and overthink a lot about my social interactions and presence. Although I haven't had a particularly hard time making friends whenever I was in school and was relatively known and seen - so I wasn't a lost person in school who nobody knew.

I grow jealousy, anxious and feel threatened seeing any male presence in my girlfriend's life. I feel it hard to digest, I doubt and find myself unable to trust her words when she tries to reassure me. I live in a constant fear that she would leave me, loves someone else or thinks that I am not good enough for her. In my vulnerable moments I first interrogate her about her interactions with a male or her social outing and then I end up degrading myself and cursing myself as some sort of punishment for doing this behavior. However throughout our relationship there has been pretty much nothing that suggests any of this is true.

Coming back to the point. Could my lack of social interactions and platonic friendships be a contributor for my deep rooted insecurity and jealousy?

Because I don't have a social life, I view simple social interactions with a lens of suspicion and doubts. And because I don't have platonic friendships I don't know what it truly means to be friends with opposite gender and thus I always end up questioning my girlfriend's friendships? It's like I cannot believe that a boy and girl can be friends because I don't have those kind of friendships because I never tried to get out of my comfort zone and leave my bubble?

Also because of being locked up for too long in my cave I have gone insane and that my mind is now finding it hard to register human contact and relationships between two genders for anything less than a romantic relationship? Humans are after all social creatures so could it be that my lack of social life is a contributor to my jealousy and insecurity with my girlfriend, especially because she has a healthy social life?

I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for more than two years now and throughout this I have had jealousy and insecurity issues. I am now starting to actively work on it and improve.

I have been able to pin-point contributors of this anxious attachment style of mine - some of them date back to my childhood, things that happened to me and around me and such. They left a mark on me and I haven't been able to get out of them.

One thing I am confused about is what I mentioned in the title.

My girlfriend has a vibrant social life and a good friend circle involving both genders. I on the other hand live in a cave. I have barely 3 friends in my life and the only girl I talk to is my girlfriend. I rarely leave my house. I have social anxiety and overthink a lot about my social interactions and presence. Although I haven't had a particularly hard time making friends whenever I was in school and was relatively known and seen - so I wasn't a lost person in school who nobody knew.

I grow jealousy, anxious and feel threatened seeing any male presence in my girlfriend's life. I feel it hard to digest, I doubt and find myself unable to trust her words when she tries to reassure me. I live in a constant fear that she would leave me, loves someone else or thinks that I am not good enough for her. In my vulnerable moments I first interrogate her about her interactions with a male or her social outing and then I end up degrading myself and cursing myself as some sort of punishment for doing this behavior. However throughout our relationship there has been pretty much nothing that suggests any of this is true.

Coming back to the point. Could my lack of social interactions and platonic friendships be a contributor for my deep rooted insecurity and jealousy?

Because I don't have a social life, I view simple social interactions with a lens of suspicion and doubts. And because I don't have platonic friendships I don't know what it truly means to be friends with opposite gender and thus I always end up questioning my girlfriend's friendships? It's like I cannot believe that a boy and girl can be friends because I don't have those kind of friendships because I never tried to get out of my comfort zone and leave my bubble?

Also because of being locked up for too long in my cave I have gone insane and that my mind is now finding it hard to register human contact and relationships between two genders for anything less than a romantic relationship? Humans are after all social creatures so could it be that my lack of social life is a contributor to my jealousy and insecurity with my girlfriend, especially because she has a healthy social life?

I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for more than two years now and throughout this I have had jealousy and insecurity issues. I am now starting to actively work on it and improve.

I have been able to pin-point contributors of this anxious attachment style of mine - some of them date back to my childhood, things that happened to me and around me and such. They left a mark on me and I haven't been able to get out of them.

One thing I am confused about is what I mentioned in the title.

My girlfriend has a vibrant social life and a good friend circle involving both genders. I on the other hand live in a cave. I have barely 3 friends in my life and the only girl I talk to is my girlfriend. I rarely leave my house. I have social anxiety and overthink a lot about my social interactions and presence. Although I haven't had a particularly hard time making friends whenever I was in school and was relatively known and seen - so I wasn't a lost person in school who nobody knew.

I grow jealousy, anxious and feel threatened seeing any male presence in my girlfriend's life. I feel it hard to digest, I doubt and find myself unable to trust her words when she tries to reassure me. I live in a constant fear that she would leave me, loves someone else or thinks that I am not good enough for her. In my vulnerable moments I first interrogate her about her interactions with a male or her social outing and then I end up degrading myself and cursing myself as some sort of punishment for doing this behavior. However throughout our relationship there has been pretty much nothing that suggests any of this is true.

Coming back to the point. Could my lack of social interactions and platonic friendships be a contributor for my deep rooted insecurity and jealousy?

Because I don't have a social life, I view simple social interactions with a lens of suspicion and doubts. And because I don't have platonic friendships I don't know what it truly means to be friends with opposite gender and thus I always end up questioning my girlfriend's friendships? It's like I cannot believe that a boy and girl can be friends because I don't have those kind of friendships because I never tried to get out of my comfort zone and leave my bubble?

Also because of being locked up for too long in my cave I have gone insane and that my mind is now finding it hard to register human contact and relationships between two genders for anything less than a romantic relationship? Humans are after all social creatures so could it be that my lack of social life is a contributor to my jealousy and insecurity with my girlfriend, especially because she has a healthy social life?

I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for more than two years now and throughout this I have had jealousy and insecurity issues. I am now starting to actively work on it and improve.

I have been able to pin-point contributors of this anxious attachment style of mine - some of them date back to my childhood, things that happened to me and around me and such. They left a mark on me and I haven't been able to get out of them.

One thing I am confused about is what I mentioned in the title.

My girlfriend has a vibrant social life and a good friend circle involving both genders. I on the other hand live in a cave. I have barely 3 friends in my life and the only girl I talk to is my girlfriend. I rarely leave my house. I have social anxiety and overthink a lot about my social interactions and presence. Although I haven't had a particularly hard time making friends whenever I was in school and was relatively known and seen - so I wasn't a lost person in school who nobody knew.

I grow jealousy, anxious and feel threatened seeing any male presence in my girlfriend's life. I feel it hard to digest, I doubt and find myself unable to trust her words when she tries to reassure me. I live in a constant fear that she would leave me, loves someone else or thinks that I am not good enough for her. In my vulnerable moments I first interrogate her about her interactions with a male or her social outing and then I end up degrading myself and cursing myself as some sort of punishment for doing this behavior. However throughout our relationship there has been pretty much nothing that suggests any of this is true.

Coming back to the point. Could my lack of social interactions and platonic friendships be a contributor for my deep rooted insecurity and jealousy?

Because I don't have a social life, I view simple social interactions with a lens of suspicion and doubts. And because I don't have platonic friendships I don't know what it truly means to be friends with opposite gender and thus I always end up questioning my girlfriend's friendships? It's like I cannot believe that a boy and girl can be friends because I don't have those kind of friendships because I never tried to get out of my comfort zone and leave my bubble?

Also because of being locked up for too long in my cave I have gone insane and that my mind is now finding it hard to register human contact and relationships between two genders for anything less than a romantic relationship? Humans are after all social creatures so could it be that my lack of social life is a contributor to my jealousy and insecurity with my girlfriend, especially because she has a healthy social life?

I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for more than two years now and throughout this I have had jealousy and insecurity issues. I am now starting to actively work on it and improve.

I have been able to pin-point contributors of this anxious attachment style of mine - some of them date back to my childhood, things that happened to me and around me and such. They left a mark on me and I haven't been able to get out of them.

One thing I am confused about is what I mentioned in the title.

My girlfriend has a vibrant social life and a good friend circle involving both genders. I on the other hand live in a cave. I have barely 3 friends in my life and the only girl I talk to is my girlfriend. I rarely leave my house. I have social anxiety and overthink a lot about my social interactions and presence. Although I haven't had a particularly hard time making friends whenever I was in school and was relatively known and seen - so I wasn't a lost person in school who nobody knew.

I grow jealousy, anxious and feel threatened seeing any male presence in my girlfriend's life. I feel it hard to digest, I doubt and find myself unable to trust her words when she tries to reassure me. I live in a constant fear that she would leave me, loves someone else or thinks that I am not good enough for her. In my vulnerable moments I first interrogate her about her interactions with a male or her social outing and then I end up degrading myself and cursing myself as some sort of punishment for doing this behavior. However throughout our relationship there has been pretty much nothing that suggests any of this is true.

Coming back to the point. Could my lack of social interactions and platonic friendships be a contributor for my deep rooted insecurity and jealousy?

Because I don't have a social life, I view simple social interactions with a lens of suspicion and doubts. And because I don't have platonic friendships I don't know what it truly means to be friends with opposite gender and thus I always end up questioning my girlfriend's friendships? It's like I cannot believe that a boy and girl can be friends because I don't have those kind of friendships because I never tried to get out of my comfort zone and leave my bubble?

Also because of being locked up for too long in my cave I have gone insane and that my mind is now finding it hard to register human contact and relationships between two genders for anything less than a romantic relationship? Humans are after all social creatures so could it be that my lack of social life is a contributor to my jealousy and insecurity with my girlfriend, especially because she has a healthy social life?

I won't go into much detail because the post would get very long. But I (19M) have been suffering with jealousy in my relationship for a long time. It has come to the point that I have completely exhausted my partner (18F) with constant interrogation and discussions and arguments that we had to take a break.

I am worried that if I don't work on it and truly improve then I might lose her from my life. And I cannot let that happen. I am sad about this break but maybe it was necessary to wake me up to reality.

I get jealous at really trivial things. It stems from our initial years together and also some parts of it stem from my own perceptions about myself and my childhood which I am trying to work together.

I have just finished a book on this called The Jealousy Cure by Robert Leahy. It was quiet helpful. I got the tools and a fresh perspective to work on and I feel with consistent efforts I can see progress.

I am here to seek for more advices from people who have gone through similar struggles. And also if you have any book, article etc recommendation that you think might be helpful for me then please share it.

I won't go into much detail because the post would get very long. But I (19M) have been suffering with jealousy in my relationship for a long time. It has come to the point that I have completely exhausted my partner (18F) with constant interrogation and discussions and arguments that we had to take a break.

I am worried that if I don't work on it and truly improve then I might lose her from my life. And I cannot let that happen. I am sad about this break but maybe it was necessary to wake me up to reality.

I get jealous at really trivial things. It stems from our initial years together and also some parts of it stem from my own perceptions about myself and my childhood which I am trying to work together.

I have just finished a book on this called The Jealousy Cure by Robert Leahy. It was quiet helpful. I got the tools and a fresh perspective to work on and I feel with consistent efforts I can see progress.

I am here to seek for more advices from people who have gone through similar struggles. And also if you have any book, article etc recommendation that you think might be helpful for me then please share it.

I won't go into much detail because the post would get very long. But I (19M) have been suffering with jealousy in my relationship for a long time. It has come to the point that I have completely exhausted my partner (18F) with constant interrogation and discussions and arguments that we had to take a break.

I am worried that if I don't work on it and truly improve then I might lose her from my life. And I cannot let that happen. I am sad about this break but maybe it was necessary to wake me up to reality.

I get jealous at really trivial things. It stems from our initial years together and also some parts of it stem from my own perceptions about myself and my childhood which I am trying to work together.

I have just finished a book on this called The Jealousy Cure by Robert Leahy. It was quiet helpful. I got the tools and a fresh perspective to work on and I feel with consistent efforts I can see progress.

I am here to seek for more advices from people who have gone through similar struggles. And also if you have any book, article etc recommendation that you think might be helpful for me then please share it.

My girlfriend and I are currently on a break/situationship while I actively work on my severe insecurity and trust issues. Recently, her best friend introduced her to a new online gaming group. Nobody in the group knows about our relationship except her best friend—who dislikes me and thinks my GF can do much better.

Lately, the group has started "shipping" my GF with one of the guys in the group. When she told me, I felt incredibly uncomfortable, irritated, and insecure.

Her reaction

When I expressed my discomfort, she told me she can’t control what other people say and that people "say nonsense all the time." She doesn't pay attention to the shipping—she neither enjoys nor minds it; she just wants to play games and chill. She asked me to trust her and even posed a question that confused me: Why wouldn't I want my partner to be seen as desirable or romantically interesting to other people other than me?

However, I can't help but feel she should do something. Couldn't she ask them to stop, send clear signals she isn't interested or doesn't like it, or ask her best friend to intervene? I do somewhere worry that she might like it and might find that other guy better than me but then I just realize it might be my trust issues and insecurity acting up.

Help me

I cannot understand if my feelings are genuine and valid or am I just being insecure again and having trouble trusting her?

I have overreacted a lot of times in the past related to these insecurity things and have hurt her with my words and actions. This is why I am actively taking a break and fixing this because I love her and want to make myself better.

She on the other hand has been nothing but loyal and faithful. We had a rocky phase when a mutual friend of ours got too close to her and their relationship made me feel like a third wheel but even then she was always faithful and loyal. In fact she only got close to that guy in the first place to get closer to me. She has always been the one to put in most efforts while I have been emotionally and physically unavailable. I am actively trying to improve, solve our past misunderstandings and build a better future which is why I am seeking other people's advices on this matter.

My girlfriend and I are currently on a break/situationship while I actively work on my severe insecurity and trust issues. Recently, her best friend introduced her to a new online gaming group. Nobody in the group knows about our relationship except her best friend—who dislikes me and thinks my GF can do much better.

Lately, the group has started "shipping" my GF with one of the guys in the group. When she told me, I felt incredibly uncomfortable, irritated, and insecure.

Her reaction

When I expressed my discomfort, she told me she can’t control what other people say and that people "say nonsense all the time." She doesn't pay attention to the shipping—she neither enjoys nor minds it; she just wants to play games and chill. She asked me to trust her and even posed a question that confused me: Why wouldn't I want my partner to be seen as desirable or romantically interesting to other people other than me?

However, I can't help but feel she should do something. Couldn't she ask them to stop, send clear signals she isn't interested or doesn't like it, or ask her best friend to intervene? I do somewhere worry that she might like it and might find that other guy better than me but then I just realize it might be my trust issues and insecurity acting up.

Help me

I cannot understand if my feelings are genuine and valid or am I just being insecure again and having trouble trusting her?

I have overreacted a lot of times in the past related to these insecurity things and have hurt her with my words and actions. This is why I am actively taking a break and fixing this because I love her and want to make myself better.

She on the other hand has been nothing but loyal and faithful. We had a rocky phase when a mutual friend of ours got too close to her and their relationship made me feel like a third wheel but even then she was always faithful and loyal. In fact she only got close to that guy in the first place to get closer to me. She has always been the one to put in most efforts while I have been emotionally and physically unavailable. I am actively trying to improve, solve our past misunderstandings and build a better future which is why I am seeking other people's advices on this matter.

My girlfriend and I are currently on a break/situationship while I actively work on my severe insecurity and trust issues. Recently, her best friend introduced her to a new online gaming group. Nobody in the group knows about our relationship except her best friend—who dislikes me and thinks my GF can do much better.

Lately, the group has started "shipping" my GF with one of the guys in the group. When she told me, I felt incredibly uncomfortable, irritated, and insecure.

Her reaction

When I expressed my discomfort, she told me she can’t control what other people say and that people "say nonsense all the time." She doesn't pay attention to the shipping—she neither enjoys nor minds it; she just wants to play games and chill. She asked me to trust her and even posed a question that confused me: Why wouldn't I want my partner to be seen as desirable or romantically interesting to other people other than me?

However, I can't help but feel she should do something. Couldn't she ask them to stop, send clear signals she isn't interested or doesn't like it, or ask her best friend to intervene? I do somewhere worry that she might like it and might find that other guy better than me but then I just realize it might be my trust issues and insecurity acting up.

Help me

I cannot understand if my feelings are genuine and valid or am I just being insecure again and having trouble trusting her?

I have overreacted a lot of times in the past related to these insecurity things and have hurt her with my words and actions. This is why I am actively taking a break and fixing this because I love her and want to make myself better.

She on the other hand has been nothing but loyal and faithful. We had a rocky phase when a mutual friend of ours got too close to her and their relationship made me feel like a third wheel but even then she was always faithful and loyal. In fact she only got close to that guy in the first place to get closer to me. She has always been the one to put in most efforts while I have been emotionally and physically unavailable. I am actively trying to improve, solve our past misunderstandings and build a better future which is why I am seeking other people's advices on this matter.