u/Hairy-Experience-620

I’m 22 (m) and my sister (28 F) moved in with her boyfriend over a year ago. Last year he proposed on Christmas so they’re engaged now. Let’s call them Shauna and Doug.

Doug is constantly finding excuses to not work. I mean constantly. He would miss a lot of work over kidney stones because of pain, which I can get. But then got rechecked and he didn’t even have them anymore at all (anywhere). Due to that, he got fired from his job and claimed it was targeted towards him. A long while after that he finally found another job and not even a month in was complaining about ankle pain and got fired for missing work. He is now going absolutely nothing but gaming all night with his friends and sleeping all day. While my sister wakes up and works daily. He even got his car taken and she has to do everything, which her car isn’t in great shape. They live with 2 other people (a slightly older than them couple) where the husband in that couple also doesn’t have a car and the wife has to do everything. Doug will sit there and “cry” about wishing he could work and Shauna comforts him. My sister makes up so many excuses for him like her life depends on it. We’ve offered for her to temporarily come back home so she can save money up but she won’t leave that man, even for their own sake.

She talks so highly of him and he can’t even do the bare minimum. He doesn’t say thank you for Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, literally anything. Not even a simple text. My sister has to speak for him and claim he said thank you. He has been getting money from his grandma, but when she didn’t give any, he got rude behind her back and called her petty for it. Shauna and Doug are both also very rude about their roommates behind their backs and constantly talk poorly of them. They seem to be decent people, too. They just had a baby a month ago as well (not my sister and her bf). Our mom used to try and see the good, but she finally sees what I’ve been saying for years, and that’s that the dude sucks. He’s lazy, self centered, and can barely do the bare minimum towards my sister. They live in a double wide with the other couple. My sister is paycheck to paycheck and stressing, when none of this has to be happening.

Also, he dented her car and broke her tv and has YET to fix her car (it’s been a year) and bought her a small ass monitor as a replacement that she can’t do anything on. Sound doesn’t even play out of it. So we had to give her a tv. She always talks about him “spoiling” her, when all he does is rub her feet SOMETIMES. He woke her up once as a prank at 3 in the morning knowing she had to wake up at 5 am for work and laughed about it. I can’t stand this dude and she could EASILY have someone better, but I don’t think she believes she’s worth it. Otherwise I have no other explanation why she’s still with this sorry ass man.

Does anyone have any advice? I can’t dare say anything to her, as she’s already sensitive by nature and believes his man is the best person alive. What can I do? I’m sick of hearing her complain every time we talk, and I’m sick of hearing her talk about him like he’s everything and more when he’s nothing. Maybe it’s not my place to say anything or worry, but she’s my best friend and sister. I just want her to be treated like she deserves. I’m gay and my boyfriend agrees (we’ve been together 4.5 years and he’s been known by us all for 8 years) that this dude sucks. What can I do? I hate to see her struggling over some basic guy

I’m 22 (m) and my sister (28 F) moved in with her boyfriend over a year ago. Last year he proposed on Christmas so they’re engaged now. Let’s call them Shauna and Doug.

Doug is constantly finding excuses to not work. I mean constantly. He would miss a lot of work over kidney stones because of pain, which I can get. But then got rechecked and he didn’t even have them anymore at all (anywhere). Due to that, he got fired from his job and claimed it was targeted towards him. A long while after that he finally found another job and not even a month in was complaining about ankle pain and got fired for missing work. He is now going absolutely nothing but gaming all night with his friends and sleeping all day. While my sister wakes up and works daily. He even got his car taken and she has to do everything, which her car isn’t in great shape. They live with 2 other people (a slightly older than them couple) where the husband in that couple also doesn’t have a car and the wife has to do everything. Doug will sit there and “cry” about wishing he could work and Shauna comforts him. My sister makes up so many excuses for him like her life depends on it. We’ve offered for her to temporarily come back home so she can save money up but she won’t leave that man, even for their own sake.

She talks so highly of him and he can’t even do the bare minimum. He doesn’t say thank you for Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, literally anything. Not even a simple text. My sister has to speak for him and claim he said thank you. He has been getting money from his grandma, but when she didn’t give any, he got rude behind her back and called her petty for it. Shauna and Doug are both also very rude about their roommates behind their backs and constantly talk poorly of them. They seem to be decent people, too. They just had a baby a month ago as well (not my sister and her bf). Our mom used to try and see the good, but she finally sees what I’ve been saying for years, and that’s that the dude sucks. He’s lazy, self centered, and can barely do the bare minimum towards my sister. They live in a double wide with the other couple. My sister is paycheck to paycheck and stressing, when none of this has to be happening.

Also, he dented her car and broke her tv and has YET to fix her car (it’s been a year) and bought her a small ass monitor as a replacement that she can’t do anything on. Sound doesn’t even play out of it. So we had to give her a tv. She always talks about him “spoiling” her, when all he does is rub her feet SOMETIMES. He woke her up once as a prank at 3 in the morning knowing she had to wake up at 5 am for work and laughed about it. I can’t stand this dude and she could EASILY have someone better, but I don’t think she believes she’s worth it. Otherwise I have no other explanation why she’s still with this sorry ass man.

Does anyone have any advice? I can’t dare say anything to her, as she’s already sensitive by nature and believes his man is the best person alive. What can I do? I’m sick of hearing her complain every time we talk, and I’m sick of hearing her talk about him like he’s everything and more when he’s nothing. Maybe it’s not my place to say anything or worry, but she’s my best friend and sister. I just want her to be treated like she deserves. I’m gay and my boyfriend agrees (we’ve been together 4.5 years and he’s been known by us all for 8 years) that this dude sucks. What can I do? I hate to see her struggling over some basic guy

Over the years, I’ve had different dreams about my boyfriend being violent or hurting me. Could this mean anything?

For some background, we met when I was 14 and he was 17, and we’re now 22 and 25 (started dating at 17 and 20). He also has diagnosed bpd, cptsd, and mdd (if it matters)

The first one i remember, I was 15 (we weren’t dating at the time, just friends), and in the dream, he was coming for me while I was in my house and I tried waking my mom so we could leave and she didn’t want to wake up. So I ran out of the house and he killed her and I was running down the street at night and he was following. Then I was running in a road by the beach? And he was still chasing me. Then I was in the grand canyon and he was chasing so I went up into this tree house and he cornered me and was about to kill me and right before, I woke up.

The next one was the same year. I was in a car driving with a case of grape soda in the passenger seat and he was in a separate car and ramming into me and telling me to give it to him. I crashed into a building and backed up and kept driving and we both drove off into water from a bridge

In the next, I was about 18, so we were dating at this point. We were standing in line outside in the heat. It was at a fair or something and I was making a comment about the heat and he suddenly slammed me to the ground and started beating me. A friend was standing by us and just watching idle. He beat me until I passed out and when I woke up I was in a basement and chained and the friend was too and then I woke up.

This one is a bit graphic. So warning. It started with me being in my house from when I was in middle school and it was falling apart and stormy. I was then outside in an area that looked like silent hill 2 and looking down into a basement. I walked down and saw him over me in a room that was red and dark. The scene switched quickly and he was over me in a hospital holding a newborn baby (we have a toddler together irl) and staring right at me (as if I was watching us from a different view and he was staring at that version of me, not the version he was interacting with) while holding the baby. The scene switched again and we were in some sort of 50’s looking house, like from fallout 4, and I was dead on the floor and our son was a toddler and sitting by me holding my hand and both my boyfriend and son had blood on them. Then it switched again and he was pinned up by his shoulder skin?? And his chest as open, as well as his ribs being open, showing his lungs breathing. Then I woke up. It was extremely intense and I’m not sure why I’d dream that at all

Does this mean anything? I love him very much and trust him extremely, so I don’t know why I’d dream of these things happening

I know minoxidil is good, but I have 3 cats. I’m pre t (ftm) and don’t plan on starting t any time soon (although I want to at some point). Is there anything that’s good for actual hair growth, head and face, or just overall thickness of hair? Thank you anyone 🙏

Also, my biggest fear with testosterone is thinning hair, resending hairline, and acne. About the hair, will I get my dads hairline? I heard some people say the hair genetics come from the moms dad, not your own dad. But my mom has super thick hair and dark hair and so does my sister, while I have finer and lighter hair like my dad did. Is there anything I can research on that? Or does anyone know anything? Thanks so much!

Over the years, I’ve had different dreams about my boyfriend being violent or hurting me. Could this mean anything?

For some background, we met when I was 14 and he was 17, and we’re now 22 and 25 (started dating at 17 and 20). He also has diagnosed bpd, cptsd, and mdd (if it matters)

The first one i remember, I was 15 (we weren’t dating at the time, just friends), and in the dream, he was coming for me while I was in my house and I tried waking my mom so we could leave and she didn’t want to wake up. So I ran out of the house and he killed her and I was running down the street at night and he was following. Then I was running in a road by the beach? And he was still chasing me. Then I was in the grand canyon and he was chasing so I went up into this tree house and he cornered me and was about to kill me and right before, I woke up.

The next one was the same year. I was in a car driving with a case of grape soda in the passenger seat and he was in a separate car and ramming into me and telling me to give it to him. I crashed into a building and backed up and kept driving and we both drove off into water from a bridge

In the next, I was about 18, so we were dating at this point. We were standing in line outside in the heat. It was at a fair or something and I was making a comment about the heat and he suddenly slammed me to the ground and started beating me. A friend was standing by us and just watching idle. He beat me until I passed out and when I woke up I was in a basement and chained and the friend was too and then I woke up.

This one is a bit graphic. So warning. It started with me being in my house from when I was in middle school and it was falling apart and stormy. I was then outside in an area that looked like silent hill 2 and looking down into a basement. I walked down and saw him over me in a room that was red and dark. The scene switched quickly and he was over me in a hospital holding a newborn baby (we have a toddler together irl) and staring right at me (as if I was watching us from a different view and he was staring at that version of me, not the version he was interacting with) while holding the baby. The scene switched again and we were in some sort of 50’s looking house, like from fallout 4, and I was dead on the floor and our son was a toddler and sitting by me holding my hand and both my boyfriend and son had blood on them. Then it switched again and he was pinned up by his shoulder skin?? And his chest as open, as well as his ribs being open, showing his lungs breathing. Then I woke up. It was extremely intense and I’m not sure why I’d dream that at all

Does this mean anything? I love him very much and trust him extremely, so I don’t know why I’d dream of these things happening

Over the years, I’ve had different dreams about my boyfriend being violent or hurting me. Could this mean anything?

For some background, we met when I was 14 and he was 17, and we’re now 22 and 25 (started dating at 17 and 20). He also has diagnosed bpd, cptsd, and mdd (if it matters)

The first one i remember, I was 15 (we weren’t dating at the time, just friends), and in the dream, he was coming for me while I was in my house and I tried waking my mom so we could leave and she didn’t want to wake up. So I ran out of the house and he killed her and I was running down the street at night and he was following. Then I was running in a road by the beach? And he was still chasing me. Then I was in the grand canyon and he was chasing so I went up into this tree house and he cornered me and was about to kill me and right before, I woke up.

The next one was the same year. I was in a car driving with a case of grape soda in the passenger seat and he was in a separate car and ramming into me and telling me to give it to him. I crashed into a building and backed up and kept driving and we both drove off into water from a bridge

In the next, I was about 18, so we were dating at this point. We were standing in line outside in the heat. It was at a fair or something and I was making a comment about the heat and he suddenly slammed me to the ground and started beating me. A friend was standing by us and just watching idle. He beat me until I passed out and when I woke up I was in a basement and chained and the friend was too and then I woke up.

This one is a bit graphic. So warning. It started with me being in my house from when I was in middle school and it was falling apart and stormy. I was then outside in an area that looked like silent hill 2 and looking down into a basement. I walked down and saw him over me in a room that was red and dark. The scene switched quickly and he was over me in a hospital holding a newborn baby (we have a toddler together irl) and staring right at me (as if I was watching us from a different view and he was staring at that version of me, not the version he was interacting with) while holding the baby. The scene switched again and we were in some sort of 50’s looking house, like from fallout 4, and I was dead on the floor and our son was a toddler and sitting by me holding my hand and both my boyfriend and son had blood on them. Then it switched again and he was pinned up by his shoulder skin?? And his chest as open, as well as his ribs being open, showing his lungs breathing. Then I woke up. It was extremely intense and I’m not sure why I’d dream that at all

Does this mean anything? I love him very much and trust him extremely, so I don’t know why I’d dream of these things happening

I’ve always had dreams here and there of my childhood best friend, let’s call her Sam. We were best friends from 7-11 years old and extremely close. She ended up saying mean things about my family and telling the whole class in 5th grade that my parents got divorced, despite us treating her like family. We stopped being friends and now we’re both 22. I’m in another state as I moved away at 14. A few years ago, I started having dreams about her here and there. But within the last couple months, I’ve had dreams about her constantly. Sometimes us hanging out as kids, sometimes us hanging out or catching up as adults, sometimes weird things that don’t make any sense. It got to the point that I messaged her online and asked how she was doing and if we could talk again. She replied a week later nicely, I replied to that, and she left me on seen since Friday (July 24th). So today I simply texted that I wish her the best and gave up. But even after messaging her and knowing how she’s doing, I’m still dreaming about her, even last night. Does this mean anything? I have no hard feelings about her at all, as we were kids. Why is this happening? It’s getting annoying, as I thought reaching out might stop the dreams

My dream last night, I was with her in this weird place I’ve dreamt of before. It’s some sort of indoor amusement park or something. There were a huge amount of dead chickens on the floor stacked up and spread out and it smelled badly. We walked over them and she was in the bathroom and I waited for her to finish by the sinks. We walked out and continued walking though the place and were in a tube that was underwater with fish on the outside. I don’t remember much after that

Another dream i had last week, we were on a platform in an indoor swimming pool and sitting close, as there was a huge orca and great white in the water by us. My boyfriend was there and tried proving they wouldn’t attack. They did attack him and Sam was scared so I got in to show it was fine and I got bitten on my hand by the orca and really felt the pain. I remember closing my eyes and telling myself it didn’t really hurt so it would go away. We were then in a hallway they looked similar to the pool rooms (backrooms) and we were walking through. I again don’t remember what happened next

Another, we were children in her house and I was sleeping over. We were playing with toys we actually had as kids, like some sort of pig you put food in and whoever made his shirt pop open lost. Her room was very messy and full of stuffed animals and I was sitting in them and wanting to take some with me (she didn’t mind). I was then being taken back home and my mom was already on her way to get me, so I got in her car halfway and we turned around and drove a long way but I remember wanting to stay at Sam’s house.

None of the dreams are anything bad, it seems. But it’s just very annoying and I want them to stop so I can dream something else. I always have dreams every night that are very vivid and long. Could these mean something? I’m very open to dream meanings, if any. Thank you

I’ve always had dreams here and there of my childhood best friend, let’s call her Sam. We were best friends from 7-11 years old and extremely close. She ended up saying mean things about my family and telling the whole class in 5th grade that my parents got divorced, despite us treating her like family. We stopped being friends and now we’re both 22. I’m in another state as I moved away at 14. A few years ago, I started having dreams about her here and there. But within the last couple months, I’ve had dreams about her constantly. Sometimes us hanging out as kids, sometimes us hanging out or catching up as adults, sometimes weird things that don’t make any sense. It got to the point that I messaged her online and asked how she was doing and if we could talk again. She replied a week later nicely, I replied to that, and she left me on seen since Friday (July 24th). So today I simply texted that I wish her the best and gave up. But even after messaging her and knowing how she’s doing, I’m still dreaming about her, even last night. Does this mean anything? I have no hard feelings about her at all, as we were kids. Why is this happening? It’s getting annoying, as I thought reaching out might stop the dreams

My dream last night, I was with her in this weird place I’ve dreamt of before. It’s some sort of indoor amusement park or something. There were a huge amount of dead chickens on the floor stacked up and spread out and it smelled badly. We walked over them and she was in the bathroom and I waited for her to finish by the sinks. We walked out and continued walking though the place and were in a tube that was underwater with fish on the outside. I don’t remember much after that

Another dream i had last week, we were on a platform in an indoor swimming pool and sitting close, as there was a huge orca and great white in the water by us. My boyfriend was there and tried proving they wouldn’t attack. They did attack him and Sam was scared so I got in to show it was fine and I got bitten on my hand by the orca and really felt the pain. I remember closing my eyes and telling myself it didn’t really hurt so it would go away. We were then in a hallway they looked similar to the pool rooms (backrooms) and we were walking through. I again don’t remember what happened next

Another, we were children in her house and I was sleeping over. We were playing with toys we actually had as kids, like some sort of pig you put food in and whoever made his shirt pop open lost. Her room was very messy and full of stuffed animals and I was sitting in them and wanting to take some with me (she didn’t mind). I was then being taken back home and my mom was already on her way to get me, so I got in her car halfway and we turned around and drove a long way but I remember wanting to stay at Sam’s house.

None of the dreams are anything bad, it seems. But it’s just very annoying and I want them to stop so I can dream something else. I always have dreams every night that are very vivid and long. Could these mean something? I’m very open to dream meanings, if any. Thank you

My (22 F) boyfriend (25 M) has bpd, cptsd, and mdd (15 years of severe physical abuse and a couple years of CSA). We’ve been together for 4.5 years now and things have been great. My boyfriend takes medication for his diagnoses (sertraline, elvanse, Quetiapine) and goes to therapy once a week

Recently, he has been having more episodes of sleep walking and what seems to be night terrors, as he doesn’t remember anything in the morning. For context, I am 5’4 and slim and he is 6’4 and very muscular (can deadlift 800+ lbs idk if that’s good or not). I usually handle his sleep walking episodes well and we go back to bed without much happening. But recently, he’s been acting out while sleep walking in ways that might be dangerous for me. Like swinging, hitting in my direction, being off balance etc etc. and it just makes me feel nervous that he might accidentally hurt me. He roams around the house and goes into rooms as if he’s looking for something (we have many pets and a toddler who I don’t want to be startled). He’s tried opening the front and back door but wasn’t successful. I’ve suggested he talks to his therapist about this issue so whatever is causing it can be resolved (as in, if something emotionally is causing the issue, maybe talking about it would help).

He has what seems like 2 different kinds of sleep walking. 1 where he walks around aimlessly and calls out to his older brother (his older brother cared for him before moving out) and looks scared and guarded. And another where he walks like he’s looking for something and checks rooms. Both times he doesn’t seem to be aware of anyone, even if you gently talk to him. He looks right at me at times and it looks as if he’s looking through me? If that makes sense.

The issue is just about his behavior getting worse and potentially more risky towards me and even potentially our son. I told him he should stay with his friend (who he has known since 8) until this can calm down a bit for my and our sons safety and he is very upset over that and scared I don’t like him anymore or trust him. He’s agreed to stay with his friend but again he is very upset and fears I don’t trust him. I feel guilty. What should we do?

(TW : mention of child abuse)

My (22 F) boyfriend (25 M) has bpd, cptsd, and mdd (15 years of severe physical abuse and a couple years of CSA). We’ve been together for 4.5 years now and things have been great. My boyfriend takes medication for his diagnoses (sertraline, elvanse, Quetiapine) and goes to therapy once a week

Recently, he has been having more episodes of sleep walking and what seems to be night terrors, as he doesn’t remember anything in the morning. For context, I am 5’4 and slim and he is 6’4 and very muscular (can deadlift 800+ lbs idk if that’s good or not). I usually handle his sleep walking episodes well and we go back to bed without much happening. But recently, he’s been acting out while sleep walking in ways that might be dangerous for me. Like swinging, hitting in my direction, being off balance etc etc. and it just makes me feel nervous that he might accidentally hurt me. He roams around the house and goes into rooms as if he’s looking for something (we have many pets and a toddler who I don’t want to be startled). He’s tried opening the front and back door but wasn’t successful. I’ve suggested he talks to his therapist about this issue so whatever is causing it can be resolved (as in, if something emotionally is causing the issue, maybe talking about it would help).

He has what seems like 2 different kinds of sleep walking. 1 where he walks around aimlessly and calls out to his older brother (his older brother cared for him before moving out) and looks scared and guarded. And another where he walks like he’s looking for something and checks rooms. Both times he doesn’t seem to be aware of anyone, even if you gently talk to him. He looks right at me at times and it looks as if he’s looking through me? If that makes sense.

The issue is just about his behavior getting worse and potentially more risky towards me and even potentially our son. I told him he should stay with his friend (who he has known since 8) until this can calm down a bit for my and our sons safety and he is very upset over that and scared I don’t like him anymore or trust him. He’s agreed to stay with his friend but again he is very upset and fears I don’t trust him. Am I wrong for this?

(TW : mention of child abuse)

My [22 F] boyfriend [25 M] has bpd, cptsd, and mdd (15 years of severe physical abuse and a couple years of CSA). We’ve been together for 4.5 years now and things have been great. My boyfriend takes medication for his diagnoses (sertraline, elvanse, Quetiapine) and goes to therapy once a week

Recently, he has been having more episodes of sleep walking and what seems to be night terrors, as he doesn’t remember anything in the morning. For context, I am 5’4 and slim and he is 6’4 and very muscular (can deadlift 800+ lbs idk if that’s good or not). I usually handle his sleep walking episodes well and we go back to bed without much happening. But recently, he’s been acting out while sleep walking in ways that might be dangerous for me. Like swinging, hitting in my direction, being off balance etc etc. and it just makes me feel nervous that he might accidentally hurt me. He roams around the house and goes into rooms as if he’s looking for something (we have many pets and a toddler who I don’t want to be startled). He’s tried opening the front and back door but wasn’t successful. I’ve suggested he talks to his therapist about this issue so whatever is causing it can be resolved (as in, if something emotionally is causing the issue, maybe talking about it would help).

He has what seems like 2 different kinds of sleep walking. 1 where he walks around aimlessly and calls out to his older brother (his older brother cared for him before moving out) and looks scared and guarded. And another where he walks like he’s looking for something and checks rooms. Both times he doesn’t seem to be aware of anyone, even if you gently talk to him. He looks right at me at times and it looks as if he’s looking through me? If that makes sense.

The issue is just about his behavior getting worse and potentially more risky towards me and even potentially our son. I told him he should stay with his friend (who he has known since 8) until this can calm down a bit for my and our sons safety and he is very upset over that and scared I don’t like him anymore or trust him. He’s agreed to stay with his friend but again he is very upset and fears I don’t trust him. What should we do? Am I wrong for making him stay with his friend?

(TW : mention of child abuse)

My (22 F) boyfriend (25 M) has bpd, cptsd, and mdd (15 years of severe physical abuse and a couple years of CSA). We’ve been together for 4.5 years now and things have been great. My boyfriend takes medication for his diagnoses (sertraline, elvanse, Quetiapine) and goes to therapy once a week

Recently, he has been having more episodes of sleep walking and what seems to be night terrors, as he doesn’t remember anything in the morning. For context, I am 5’4 and slim and he is 6’4 and very muscular (can deadlift 800+ lbs idk if that’s good or not). I usually handle his sleep walking episodes well and we go back to bed without much happening. But recently, he’s been acting out while sleep walking in ways that might be dangerous for me. Like swinging, hitting in my direction, being off balance etc etc. and it just makes me feel nervous that he might accidentally hurt me. He roams around the house and goes into rooms as if he’s looking for something (we have many pets and a toddler who I don’t want to be startled). He’s tried opening the front and back door but wasn’t successful. I’ve suggested he talks to his therapist about this issue so whatever is causing it can be resolved (as in, if something emotionally is causing the issue, maybe talking about it would help).

He has what seems like 2 different kinds of sleep walking. 1 where he walks around aimlessly and calls out to his older brother (his older brother cared for him before moving out) and looks scared and guarded. And another where he walks like he’s looking for something and checks rooms. Both times he doesn’t seem to be aware of anyone, even if you gently talk to him. He looks right at me at times and it looks as if he’s looking through me? If that makes sense.

The issue is just about his behavior getting worse and potentially more risky towards me and even potentially our son. I told him he should stay with his friend (who he has known since 8) until this can calm down a bit for my and our sons safety and he is very upset over that and scared I don’t like him anymore or trust him. He’s agreed to stay with his friend but again he is very upset and fears I don’t trust him. Am I wrong for this?

Me (M 21) and my boyfriend (M24) have been together since January 2022, and have been friends since July 2018.

We met when I was 14 and he was 17, and started dating when I was 17 and he was 20. So we've been in each others lives nearly 8 years.

It might be impotent to note that he has diagnosed bpd, cptsd, and mdd. While I have ocd and gad (generalized anxiety disorder). There have been a few feelings I've noticed myself having that make me feel I should be concerned, but I'm not.

believe 2.5 years ago, had accidentally spent $50 of his money (thought it was my card selected AND thought the price was the usual $9.99 but after I had already did the face scan for apple, I saw the price). Our friend at the time had told him and convinced him I did it on purpose. So when he came home from work, I tried apologizing and explaining what happened and he was talking as well. We were talking over each other and he ended up slapping me in the face and told me to 'just shut up: (For reference, I am 5'4" and small framed/skinny and he is 6'4" and very muscular/built). I ended up going to the bathroom to be alone and he was outside the door apologizing profusely and nothing like that has happened since. The friend told me I deserved being hit and she would've done it too if she were him.

But during that friendship we had with our old friend, a lot of my time was spent with her as she was extremely demanding and would go silent if she didn't get her way. I shouldn't have stayed her friend, but we had gotten close so quickly that it felt like we were meant to be friends. My boyfriend would get annoyed with how much I'd spend time with her and then turn around and be anxious that she didn't like me (she would regularly bully us both one day and ghost us, then tell us how we were angels on earth and her favorite people every the next while blowing up our phones so it felt confusing for me). My boyfriend was mad at me for not calling him on his lunch break like we usually did and went off on me saying that the friend hated me and was going to leave me in the end. We ended up resolving the issue and he apologized. Ever since our friendship ended with this girl, he hasn't been that way again.

What concerns me is I feel so attached and bonded to him that I've had thoughts that even if he became abusive or bad, that I wouldn't care and I'd stay. I truly don't feel scared. I feel content or comfort for some reason? He was abused physically SEVERELY from ages 4-19 by his father, which is why he has his diagnoses. But he is truly a gentle giant to everyone. Women, kids, and animals seem to always feel safe around him and gravitate towards him naturally. I don't view him as a bad man or that he'd ever actually hurt me, so maybe that's why I feel this way? In 2020, he was stabbed by his father and moved in with me and my mom and sister. I was 16 at the time he was 19. We became very close platonically after that and throughout the whole year of 2021, we had developed feelings for dad other mutually and started dating January 2022 (I turned 18 shortly after and he turned 21)

Throughout all of the trauma we've been through, we've been together one way or another. Platonically as best friends, and then dating. He is extremely attached to me (I'm his fp/favorite person) and I believe we both feel no one else gets us the way the other does.

I'm just rambling now, but does our relationship sound unhealthy? I'm worried. Could he be a bad man? Old friends of mine used to tell me he was a groomer or predator but our age gap is 3 years. Could he be? I'm sorry for rambling on.

Any advice would help, thank you.

TL;DR I’m wondering if my partner and I should break up over concerns of possibly abuse or unhealthy moments

Me (M 21) and my boyfriend (M24) have been together since January 2022, and have been friends since July 2018. We met when I was 14 and he was 17, and started dating when I was 17 and he was 20. So we’ve been in each others lives nearly 8 years.

It might be impotent to note that he has diagnosed bpd, cptsd, and mdd. While I have ocd and gad (generalized anxiety disorder). There have been a few feelings I’ve noticed myself having that make me feel I should be concerned, but I’m not.

I believe 2.5 years ago, I had accidentally spent $50 of his money (I thought it was my card selected AND thought the price was the usual $9.99 but after I had already did the face scan for apple, I saw the price). Our friend at the time had told him and convinced him I did it on purpose. So when he came home from work, I tried apologizing and explaining what happened and he was talking as well. We were talking over each other and he ended up slapping me in the face and told me to ‘just shut up’. (For reference, I am 5’4” and small framed/skinny and he is 6’4” and very muscular/built). I ended up going to the bathroom to be alone and he was outside the door apologizing profusely and nothing like that has happened since. The friend told me I deserved being hit and she would’ve done it too if she were him.

But during that friendship we had with our old friend, a lot of my time was spent with her as she was extremely demanding and would go silent if she didn’t get her way. I shouldn’t have stayed her friend, but we had gotten close so quickly that it felt like we were meant to be friends. My boyfriend would get annoyed with how much I’d spend time with her and then turn around and be anxious that she didn’t like me (she would regularly bully us both one day and ghost us, then tell us how we were angels on earth and her favorite people every the next while blowing up our phones so it felt confusing for me). My boyfriend was mad at me for not calling him on his lunch break like we usually did and went off on me saying that the friend hated me and was going to leave me in the end. We ended up resolving the issue and he apologized. Ever since our friendship ended with this girl, he hasn’t been that way again.

What concerns me is I feel so attached and bonded to him that I’ve had thoughts that even if he became abusive or bad, that I wouldn’t care and I’d stay. I truly don’t feel scared. I feel content or comfort for some reason? He was abused physically SEVERELY from ages 4-19 by his father, which is why he has his diagnoses. But he is truly a gentle giant to everyone. Women, kids, and animals seem to always feel safe around him and gravitate towards him naturally. I don’t view him as a bad man or that he’d ever actually hurt me, so maybe that’s why I feel this way? In 2020, he was stabbed by his father and moved in with me and my mom and sister. I was 16 at the time he was 19. We became very close platonically after that and throughout the whole year of 2021, we had developed feelings for dad other mutually and started dating January 2022 (I turned 18 shortly after and he turned 21)

Throughout all of the trauma we’ve been through, we’ve been together one way or another. Platonically as best friends, and then dating. He is extremely attached to me (I’m his fp/favorite person) and I believe we both feel no one else gets us the way the other does.

I’m just rambling now, but does our relationship sound unhealthy? I’m worried. Could he be a bad man? Old friends of mine used to tell me he was a groomer or predator but our age gap is 3 years. Could he be? I’m sorry for rambling on. Any advice would help, thank you.

TLDR I’m worried my boyfriend might be abusive or our relationship might be unhealthy do to issues from the past and possibly present