u/Hausofmiren

Hey, i’m 30 m , from north london , born and bred!

When I heard the two words ‘’men’s community’ I instantly thought ‘lads, lads, lads’ and ‘football and beer’. My worst nightmare.

Throughout the end of my twenties, my entire world was turned upside down. Every single thing around me collapsed and broke down around me. I’m talking relationships, ‘friends’, work, mental health, fitness, and my life. To be blunt, I felt worthless and lost. I wanted it all to be over.

I was randomly scrolling through reddit, and saw a viral post from Shoulder to Shoulder. Upon reflection of my mood that day, I think my body finally had enough of being depressed. I had enough of crying, feeling miserable etc, and somehow mustered up the courage to really take that leap of faith in reclaiming my life back.

Truthfully, at that point, it was the bravest thing I had done. I went to my first event, introduced myself and was welcomed in straight away. I never told anyone that I was in an abusive relationship for the last 10 years or I was deeply struggling with my mental health. I walked away feeling welcomed and valid. Like a lightbulb switched on!

Over January, I really felt like I worked up the courage to really reclaim myself back. For the first time, in a very long time, I slowly began to really feel like myself. The version who was buried, suppressed, abused was emerging with 2.0 qualities.

I had to push myself out of my own comfort zone, plenty of times, but be open and give it a real shot. It worked. I slowly began to make genuine friendships, build meaningful connections and most importantly my confidence skyrocketed. A brilliant example of this was, if someone told me to do public speaking, I would have froze, now I confidently speak to 30-50 men in a room all the time.

Why am I posting this now?

This is to any person, who feels like the world is big enough but not accommodating for them, or they feel like there is no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel and you want to expand your social circle. You can, you will, you deserve too.

I took a chance and walked into my first ever event not knowing anyone, and who would’ve thought, that was the best decision I made.

Hey, i’m 30 m , from north london , born and bred!

When I heard the two words ‘’men’s community’ I instantly thought ‘lads, lads, lads’ and ‘football and beer’. My worst nightmare.

Throughout the end of my twenties, my entire world was turned upside down. Every single thing around me collapsed and broke down around me. I’m talking relationships, ‘friends’, work, mental health, fitness, and my life. To be blunt, I felt worthless and lost. I wanted it all to be over.

I was randomly scrolling through reddit, and saw a viral post from [Shoulder to Shoulder](https://shoulder.mn.co/share/Oc\_j\_nczeRhFE4kz?utm\_source=manual). Upon reflection of my mood that day, I think my body finally had enough of being depressed. I had enough of crying, feeling miserable etc, and somehow mustered up the courage to really take that leap of faith in reclaiming my life back.

Truthfully, at that point, it was the bravest thing I had done. I went to my first event, introduced myself and was welcomed in straight away. I never told anyone that I was in an abusive relationship for the last 10 years or I was deeply struggling with my mental health. I walked away feeling welcomed and valid. Like a lightbulb switched on!

Over January, I really felt like I worked up the courage to really reclaim myself back. For the first time, in a very long time, I slowly began to really feel like myself. The version who was buried, suppressed, abused was emerging with 2.0 qualities.

I had to push myself out of my own comfort zone, plenty of times, but be open and give it a real shot. It worked. I slowly began to make genuine friendships, build meaningful connections and most importantly my confidence skyrocketed. A brilliant example of this was, if someone told me to do public speaking, I would have froze, now I confidently speak to 30-50 men in a room all the time.

Why am I posting this now?

This is to any person, who feels like the world is big enough but not accommodating for them, or they feel like there is no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel and you want to expand your social circle. You can, you will, you deserve too.

I took a chance and walked into my first ever event not knowing anyone, and who would’ve thought, that was the best decision I made.

Hey, i’m 30 m , from north london , born and bred!

When I heard the two words ‘’men’s community’ I instantly thought ‘lads, lads, lads’ and ‘football and beer’. My worst nightmare.

Throughout the end of my twenties, my entire world was turned upside down. Every single thing around me collapsed and broke down around me. I’m talking relationships, ‘friends’, work, mental health, fitness, and my life. To be blunt, I felt worthless and lost. I wanted it all to be over.

I was randomly scrolling through reddit, and saw a viral post from Shoulder to Shoulder. Upon reflection of my mood that day, I think my body finally had enough of being depressed. I had enough of crying, feeling miserable etc, and somehow mustered up the courage to really take that leap of faith in reclaiming my life back.

Truthfully, at that point, it was the bravest thing I had done. I went to my first event, introduced myself and was welcomed in straight away. I never told anyone that I was in an abusive relationship for the last 10 years or I was deeply struggling with my mental health. I walked away feeling welcomed and valid. Like a lightbulb switched on!

Over January, I really felt like I worked up the courage to really reclaim myself back. For the first time, in a very long time, I slowly began to really feel like myself. The version who was buried, suppressed, abused was emerging with 2.0 qualities.

I had to push myself out of my own comfort zone, plenty of times, but be open and give it a real shot. It worked. I slowly began to make genuine friendships, build meaningful connections and most importantly my confidence skyrocketed. A brilliant example of this was, if someone told me to do public speaking, I would have froze, now I confidently speak to 30-50 men in a room all the time.

Why am I posting this now?

This is to any person, who feels like the world is big enough but not accommodating for them, or they feel like there is no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel and you want to expand your social circle. You can, you will, you deserve too.

I took a chance and walked into my first ever event not knowing anyone, and who would’ve thought, that was the best decision I made.

Hey, i’m 30 m , from north london , born and bred!

When I heard the two words ‘’men’s community’ I instantly thought ‘lads, lads, lads’ and ‘football and beer’. My worst nightmare.

Throughout the end of my twenties, my entire world was turned upside down. Every single thing around me collapsed and broke down around me. I’m talking relationships, ‘friends’, work, mental health, fitness, and my life. To be blunt, I felt worthless and lost. I wanted it all to be over.

I was randomly scrolling through reddit, and saw a viral post from Shoulder to Shoulder. Upon reflection of my mood that day, I think my body finally had enough of being depressed. I had enough of crying, feeling miserable etc, and somehow mustered up the courage to really take that leap of faith in reclaiming my life back.

Truthfully, at that point, it was the bravest thing I had done. I went to my first event, introduced myself and was welcomed in straight away. I never told anyone that I was in an abusive relationship for the last 10 years or I was deeply struggling with my mental health. I walked away feeling welcomed and valid. Like a lightbulb switched on!

Over January, I really felt like I worked up the courage to really reclaim myself back. For the first time, in a very long time, I slowly began to really feel like myself. The version who was buried, suppressed, abused was emerging with 2.0 qualities.

I had to push myself out of my own comfort zone, plenty of times, but be open and give it a real shot. It worked. I slowly began to make genuine friendships, build meaningful connections and most importantly my confidence skyrocketed. A brilliant example of this was, if someone told me to do public speaking, I would have froze, now I confidently speak to 30-50 men in a room all the time.

Why am I posting this now?

This is to any person, who feels like the world is big enough but not accommodating for them, or they feel like there is no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel and you want to expand your social circle. You can, you will, you deserve too.

I took a chance and walked into my first ever event not knowing anyone, and who would’ve thought, that was the best decision I made.

[deleted]

Shoulder to Shoulder saved my life.

That might sound dramatic, but it’s the truth.

At one point, it felt as though my entire world had been turned upside down. Everything I’d built seemed to collapse around me. I felt worthless and completely lost.

Then I came across a Reddit post from Shoulder to Shoulder. Looking back, I think I’d simply had enough of feeling miserable. I’d had enough of crying, enough of being depressed, and somehow found the courage to take a step towards getting my life back.

Truthfully, joining that WhatsApp group was one of the bravest things I’ve ever done.

I introduced myself and was welcomed straight away. I never told anyone that I had been in an abusive relationship or that I was struggling with my mental health. I just showed up as myself.

A few days later, I worked up the courage to attend my first event. Once again, everyone was welcoming. We chatted, laughed and connected. For the first time in a long while, I felt like myself again. The version of me that had been buried, suppressed and forgotten started to reappear.

From there, I made a real effort to get involved. I pushed myself outside my comfort zone, spoke to people, turned up to events and gave it a chance. And it worked.

My happiness gradually returned. I made genuine friendships, built meaningful connections and, most importantly, found myself again. Over time, I also learnt not to rely solely on this incredible community for my happiness. It helped me rebuild the confidence to be happy on my own terms as well.

That’s why I struggle when people criticise something they haven’t experienced for themselves.

I am one of many men who arrived as a shadow of who they once were and left with a stronger sense of who they are and what they want from life. Today, I get the opportunity to support others, whether that’s being there for someone who needs to talk, helping them expand their social circle, or simply sharing a laugh.

If you’ve never attended an event, you haven’t seen what makes this community special. There’s a reason so many men continue to turn up. Shoulder to Shoulder is welcoming, inclusive and built on genuine care for the people who walk through the door.

Tom and Dan, the founders of Shoulder to Shoulder, are two of the most selfless people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Never once have they put themselves above anyone else or worried about appearances. You can see how much this means to them by the fact they’ve left their jobs to dedicate themselves fully to the community.

On a personal level, they believed in me when I struggled to believe in myself. They’ve encouraged me, mentored me and helped guide me through some incredibly difficult times.

Six months ago, there is no chance I could have stood in front of 30 men and spoken with confidence.

Now I can.

So, to any man out there who wants someone to talk to, make new friends or simply expand their social circle, please know that you’re not alone.

There is a place for you in London, and there are people who genuinely want to get to know you. You’ll find your tribe. You’ll find men who welcome you exactly as you are.

Our community continues to grow because people believe in what we’re building. They believe in the friendships, the support, the laughter and the sense of belonging that comes from being part of something bigger than yourself.

I took a chance and walked into my first event not knowing anyone. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Maybe it could be yours too.

Shoulder to Shoulder saved my life.

That might sound dramatic, but it’s the truth.

At one point, it felt as though my entire world had been turned upside down. Everything I’d built seemed to collapse around me. I felt worthless and completely lost.

Then I came across a Reddit post from Shoulder to Shoulder. Looking back, I think I’d simply had enough of feeling miserable. I’d had enough of crying, enough of being depressed, and somehow found the courage to take a step towards getting my life back.

Truthfully, joining that WhatsApp group was one of the bravest things I’ve ever done.

I introduced myself and was welcomed straight away. I never told anyone that I had been in an abusive relationship or that I was struggling with my mental health. I just showed up as myself.

A few days later, I worked up the courage to attend my first event. Once again, everyone was welcoming. We chatted, laughed and connected. For the first time in a long while, I felt like myself again. The version of me that had been buried, suppressed and forgotten started to reappear.

From there, I made a real effort to get involved. I pushed myself outside my comfort zone, spoke to people, turned up to events and gave it a chance. And it worked.

My happiness gradually returned. I made genuine friendships, built meaningful connections and, most importantly, found myself again. Over time, I also learnt not to rely solely on this incredible community for my happiness. It helped me rebuild the confidence to be happy on my own terms as well.

That’s why I struggle when people criticise something they haven’t experienced for themselves.

I am one of many men who arrived as a shadow of who they once were and left with a stronger sense of who they are and what they want from life. Today, I get the opportunity to support others, whether that’s being there for someone who needs to talk, helping them expand their social circle, or simply sharing a laugh.

If you’ve never attended an event, you haven’t seen what makes this community special. There’s a reason so many men continue to turn up. Shoulder to Shoulder is welcoming, inclusive and built on genuine care for the people who walk through the door.

Tom and Dan, the founders of Shoulder to Shoulder, are two of the most selfless people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Never once have they put themselves above anyone else or worried about appearances. You can see how much this means to them by the fact they’ve left their jobs to dedicate themselves fully to the community.

On a personal level, they believed in me when I struggled to believe in myself. They’ve encouraged me, mentored me and helped guide me through some incredibly difficult times.

Six months ago, there is no chance I could have stood in front of 30 men and spoken with confidence.

Now I can.

So, to any man out there who wants someone to talk to, make new friends or simply expand their social circle, please know that you’re not alone.

There is a place for you in London, and there are people who genuinely want to get to know you. You’ll find your tribe. You’ll find men who welcome you exactly as you are.

Our community continues to grow because people believe in what we’re building. They believe in the friendships, the support, the laughter and the sense of belonging that comes from being part of something bigger than yourself.

I took a chance and walked into my first event not knowing anyone. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Maybe it could be yours too.

[supprimé]