u/I_like_it_yo

My husband and I (38) have been married 3 years together for 8. I've had a lowish libido for a while with life stress (mom died, had health issues) but we are usually a 3-4x a month couple.

I started escitalopram 2 months ago and my libido is gone. Absolutely gone. Sex is important in a relationship and I want that closeness but I just have zero desire.

How did you tackle this? How do you get turned on? I don't want to get off the meds because it has been life changing for me, but this is bumming me out so much.

They usually want to be with us all the time, but when they wander off we call them back to us. We don’t trust that they’re not getting into things haha

I've been on and off painting for years but finally joined a city class and have been practicing more.

Curious what you would tell your younger self in terms of tips to make learning the medium easier?

I’m 38, married with 2 dogs and a cat. We’re financially stable and comfortable. We own a house and have great jobs.

Almost 3 years ago I was diagnosed with a benign brain tumour, and had surgery a little over 2 years ago. It was successful and I am fully recovered. We had been on the fence for a while about having children, and finally decided we wanted to become parents and started trying. After 9 months with no luck we did some testing and everything was all good.

Then my mom died a little over a year ago. We decided to pause because I was a mess. Last September I was diagnosed with epilepsy as a result of scar tissue from my surgery. It was a stressful time and I started medication for it. I also have some lower back problems and pain. I’ve done some physio which helped but it’s still not 100%.

I started to think I didn’t want kids anymore. I thought about it for a few months and told my husband I had changed my mind. I am just really mindful that pregnancy could worsen my back. I am also very apprehensive about putting my body through more stress and hardship after everything I’ve gone through, and I know that having a newborn is stressful and tiring and being tired and stressed is a trigger for my seizures which are well controlled. I would have to work with my neuro to make sure my medication dose is adjusted and still effective.

I also started an SSRI a month ago.

All that to say that it feels like I can’t have kids. But I still want to have one. I think we would be amazing parents. Our life is very well suited for raising a child, we are homebodies, we wouldn’t feel like we were missing out on anything from having to prioritize our child.

I’m having a real hard time accepting things, but when I think of getting pregnant and going through that and making my life so much harder I don’t think I can do it.

Has anyone faced this and decided to not have kids? Or decided to go through with it?

When a tribe starts losing at the start multiple times in a row, I feel like that draws lines in the sand gives them more time to exercise their strategic mind.

​

I wonder what the % is of winners who were in a tribe that lost the first few challenges.

​

Not sure if this has already been looked at?

I'm 38, married and child free (due to medical issues and not by choice).

​

I have a close group of friends (3 girlfriends and my sister) who I see somewhat regularly and we are in a group chat that we communicate through daily.

​

I also have a very large extended friend group. There's probably 15 girls at least and we are in a group chat, but it's not active unless we're planning an event.

​

I essentially only see them 3-4x a year for bigger events like BBQs, birthday parties or for example we are going to a festival together in August.

​

Other than that, I have basically zero contact with them. I love seeing them and it's always a great time. Most of them are girls I've known from high school and others have just joined the group through them over the years.

​

For a long time I've felt guilty that I'm not nurturing these relationships and seeing them outside of these events. I still feel weird about it. Many of these women have kids now and they see each other more often.

​

I realized recently that I just don't really have the bandwidth to be in more contact with them, and I'm trying to let go of the guilt but I'm having a hard time.

​

I'm just wondering if any other people are in similar friend groups and how you feel about it all?

I had a Google pixel watch and didn't like that i had to have an ugly watch on all the time lol i got the ringconn and have had it for over a week now and I'm just starting to wonder if I really get any value out of it.

​

I walk on the walking pad while I work but that doesn't count steps because I'm typing and not swinging my arms. Sleep score is interesting but it rarely matches how I actually feel when I wake up so not sure there's value there.

​

I don't really know what the other stats give me tbh

​

Wondering if I've missed anything or if I should just return.

​

So what do you use it for?

My 10 year old shitzhu Maltese mix loves camping. Every summer we do a canoe camping trip. It's about 1 hour away and then a 1 hour canoe ride to our own private island. She loves it. We have a trip planned two weeks from now.

Last Thursday she had a seizure. She had perfect blood work results so it's either a one off (unlikely due to her age) or something in her brain like a tumour. Trying not to think about that too much. They don't put dogs on seizure meds after just one seizure but they gave us emergency medication to stop a seizure if it's severe.

I don't know if I should go on the camping trip. On he one hand, she loves camping, I want her to enjoy herself and we can't stop living because we're afraid of another seizure.

But on the other hand what if she has a severe one and we're minimum 2 hours away from an emergency clinic?

What would you personally do?

Got the Gen 2 air this week. The 8 was really snug so I went with the 9. If I shake my hand very vigorously it will slip off but I have to be intense about it.

I think smaller would've been too tight.

Wondering where everyone else who had to make the call went?

My husband and I just returned from a 3 week trip to the UK. I had been before but it was my husband's first time. We flew red-eye from Canada and arrived at 830am London time. Here's my insanely long summary in case it helps someone down the road!

London (5 nights)

There were issues with the trains so we took an Uber to our hotel. Was about 50£. We stayed at the Club Quarters hotel in Covent Garden. Great hotel, there was a little kitchenette so we were able to buy some snacks/breakfast. Excellent location near the central line and busses that went east <> west.

Day 1 - We were able to check in early at 11am. Then we basically just wandered around, walking from our hotel to Buckingham palace and back, seeing Trafalgar Square, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey and the Palace. We didn't go into any attractions. We hit up a few pubs on our way back, had a Sunday roast and were in bed by 8pm.

Day 2 - Walked back to Buckingham Palace and saw part of the changing of the guards. It was packed so we went up the street and saw the guards coming out of St James. That was enough for us lol

Visited Westminster Abbey, and went up to the galleries which was the highlight. Worth the extra 5£.

Then we did a pub / cocktail bar crawl. Super fun. We went to Cahoots which is a prohibition speakeasy style place. Very kitschy but entertaining. Extremely expensive, probably shouldn't have had the second round but the cocktails were tasty.

Day 3 - Day trip to Canterbury. Lovely town, Tudor style houses and lively main street. The Cathedral was gorgeous. We were in town for about 4 hours and that felt like enough.

Day 4 - British museum. Then we hit up a few bookshops and made our way down to the Waterloo pier. Did a river cruise. Later went to Shoreditch, Spitalfields market and had dinner at Gordon Ramsay's bread street restaurant. It was ok but obviously overpriced.

We walked back towards St Paul's cathedral which was beautiful. It was closed so we couldn't go in. We walked down fleet street and had a drink at a few pubs.

Day 5 - Tower of London. Highlight of the trip for sure. Highly recommend the audio tour. Then we walked across the tower bridge and went to Borough Market. Had the best hand pie ever and bought a bunch of sweets.

For dinner we went to Marylebone. BAO restaurant, delicious.

Overall London was great. I have back problems so it was a little hard on my back to walk so much. We averaged 20k steps even though we tried to take the bus or tube as much as possible. You could definitely pack more in a day but taking a 1-2 hour nap break in late afternoon was a must for us.

It was also incredibly difficult to find a pub to have a drink at between 4 and 8pm because every single one is full to the brim with people spilling out. Standing outside with a beer wasn't an option because of my back. Pub culture here is real lol

Bath (2 nights)

Day 1 - Took the GWR train from Paddington to Bath Spa. Stayed at the Black Fox. Our room wasn't ready at noon but they took our bags so we could go explore. The Black Fox was great, the bed was so comfortable it was hard to get up in the morning.

Wandered the city centre and had a sausage roll at Cornish Bakery. We had a Roman bath tour at 2pm. Then we went to our hotel for a little rest.

We walked up to Holburne museum and then back down Bathwick street and stumbled on an overgrown cemetery. We went through the circus and had dinner at Vino Vino. Then we bar hopped through the city centre. Very young crowd but lively. Had delicious cocktails at The Dark Horse and whiskey at The Hideout.

Day 2 - Took the train to Salisbury and then the tour bus to Stonehenge. I often saw on this subreddit people say not to go and that it’s boring but we loved it. It’s incredible to see and learn of what people 5,000 years ago were able to do. Highly recommend it.

Afterwards we spent the afternoon in Salisbury, visited the Cathedral and there was a market on. We ate there at a Korean food stall that was delicious.

Back in Bath for dinner and an early night in.

York (3 nights)

Took the GWR to Bristol temple meads then the cross country to York. Never experienced anything like that train ride lol we thankfully reserved seats for our journey but I guess it's not required. There were people standing in the aisles, just packed and chaotic. We got lucky to be able to put our luggage in the luggage area, because the overhead is way too small for a carry on sized luggage. We had chosen this route instead of going back through London to avoid the transfers but I would recommend you avoid this cross country train lol.

Day 1 - We arrived in mid afternoon and checked into the Middleton's hotel in the city centre. The hotel is very charming however there were a few inconvenient things so I wouldn’t stay here again.

We went walking through the city center and then we went for a Sunday roast at the Chopping Block which was fantastic and the best meal we had to date.

Day 2 - We dropped off some laundry at the walmgate laundrette bar and we went for breakfast at the Black Wheat Cafe. It was amazing, highly recommend. Then we explored the city.

We walked through Shambles street, bought some knickknacks, walked by York Minster but didn’t go in. We walked the city walls, the one that’s close to York Minster which was the best one for sure. We checked out the Barley Hall, which I wouldn’t recommend if you are crunched for time. We went to York Castle museum which was a huge highlight of York. It has a recreated street from 1870 and it was very cool and interesting. We had afternoon tea at Betty’s which was lovely. After dinner we did a ghost tour with Deathly Dark and it was awesome. Really funny and interesting spooky tragic stories.

Day 3 - We rented a car with Enterprise and were planning to head out to Whitby and surrounding areas. But unfortunately we ended up with a flat tire 20 minutes in. It took 4 hours to get AA to come put on a spare and then get the tire replaced so by the time that was all said and done we just wanted to go drink lol

We went on a bit of an afternoon pub crawl and then had an early night.

Edinburgh (3 nights)

We took the LNER to Edinburgh, it was very comfortable, lots of room for luggage and great views on the right side of the train. We dropped our bags off at the City Center Doubletree hotel and went to walk down the royal mile. We had an Edinburgh Castle tour which was fantastic. Buy your tickets in advance as it was full. We also got the audiobook you can download on your phone which was great. Most of the visit is done outside, we were lucky it wasn’t raining.

Day 2 - We started with Holyrood Palace. We wanted to do Arthur’s seat which is around the corner but my back was already hurting so we skipped and went to Calton Hill instead. The views were great!

At 2pm I had a handbag making workshop at Islander Edinburgh and it was awesome. I love my bag! My husband had a pint at a nearby pub and then we met up for some additional browsing of the shops on Victoria Street. Then we went to Greyfriars Cemetery before grabbing dinner and a pint on Grassmarket.

Day 3 - Our last day we left the hotel early and walked to Dean Village which is just beautiful. We walked along the water to Stockbridge and had breakfast at Florentin Cafe. We walked through Circus Place which is a very pretty street and went to the Royal Botanic Gardens. We walked back some and stopped at some bookstores and an antique shop. Then we grabbed a bus back to our hotel for a nap.

It was a beautiful sunny day in Edinburgh so we went for some pub hopping. We ended up at the three sisters for some dancing. We were the oldest by far but that didn't deter us whatsoever lol

Pitlochry (2 nights)

We took the Scotrail to Pitlochry. We stayed at the Buttonboss B&B. It was OK. Very affordable so we got what we paid for. When we arrived we wandered the town, and did a walk around the loch nearby. We had dinner at McKays which was good.

Day 1 - For our only full day in Pitlochry, we did the main hike up to Black Spout and did the full loop. It was about 1.5 hours and not difficult. It was our first real experience with the massive mountains. So unbelievably beautiful!

For the afternoon, we went to the Atholl Gathering. So lucky that there happened to be highland games during our stay! It was so fun seeing the opening ceremony, the competitions and just being part of something like that.

In the evening we went to the Old Mill Inn for some wine and dinner before going to bed.

Ullapool (4 nights)

We took the train up to Inverness to pick up a car. It was a little stressful driving again but it was a beautiful drive to Ullapool! We checked in at the Highland Rooms which were amazing, and walked down to explore the very tiny town.

Day 1 - On our first full day in Ullapool we went on a road trip south. We hit up Corrieshalloch Gorge first, about a 1.5 hour walk to the gorge waterfall and walked across the suspension bridge. Unbelievable views! Then we drove down the A832 all the way to Gruinard Bay. We stopped at least 10x along the way to admire the view and switched off who drove so the other could soak it in. You can't really take your eyes off the road at all unless you want to die lol

In the afternoon we had some beers at the Ferry Boat Inn on the harbour, then did a tour of the shops. For dinner we had made reservations at the Arch Inn which was delicious.

Day 2 - We set off to Stac Pollaidh and climbed to the top. It was fantastic, we got there early and it was a gorgeous day. Spectacular views from the top! In the afternoon we headed north for a short loop to Achiltibuie and back. The single track drive and the views along the way were amazing. Back in town for a beer and dinner and then in bed early.

Day 3 - Our final day in Ullapool we did a big Northern loop. We went to Ardvreck Castle and Kylesku, then took the Wee Mad Road (B869) stopping at Clashnessie, Clachtoll and Achmelvic Bay along the way and finishing the loop in Lochinver for dinner.

The next morning we packed up to head back to Edinburgh for our final night in the UK. One last stint on Grassmarket for dinner and early bedtime for our early flight the next day.

We loved our trip so much, it was a perfect mix of cities, smaller towns and countryside.