u/Important_Address741

I am not going to believe i can properly convey to you internet people out there all the extensive journey my life has been. A lot has happened, and I am reallt extremely discouraged, not for the first time. In recent years, chronic illness worsened, and i had to make difficult decisions around choosing to change my higher ed experience and some of my work to being 100% remote (and often asynchronous). All this while i am an incredibly kinesthetic, physical-interaction-oriented person and learner and relater. Being surrounded by screens as a means of conencting is really, really f*cked up for me, and feels upside down in what i need, yet my disabiltiies have made me make this choice. I can no longer go many of the places I used to go due to health issues. Thankfully there are still some options, but I am also very limited by fairly severe poverty. I am still housed for the time being and a shining light of sorts is graduating from my masters program, expected in May 2027. But of course then there will be new work and new extremely creative resourcing required of me, to be my incredibly "different" self and be able to make stable income so I can make more of my life and self beyond just surviving.

I am 38 years old and I am not newly self aware, far from newly aware of being HSP. I have no family support and no savings left. I have no friends or partners or family who are consistently available, emotionally attuned with me, who i feel understood by this is not because i haven't tried - believe me when o say that. I am constantly putting myself out there is a variety of social and volunteer and community situations for years. Yet, like i mentioned, due to factors somewhat outside of my control, my social isolation and loneliness only increase.

This week has been severe. It had hit me over the head with loneliness, reinforcement of my odd-one-out-ness, my darkening isolation. Every person i have tried to connect with emotionally, maturely, kindly, genuinely in the last... decade... has not worked out, has let me down, has not really seen or understood me. All different kinds of connections with different potentials, but all not really serving my (and perhaps their) heart, at least in terms of maintaining connection or going deeper.

When does it get better? No one here knows that - im not asking you. I am at a total loss. Mental health and su__ide hotlines in this country are a complete joke; believe me ive tried turning to them. Its like turning to a primitive bot for emotional support. (I see two therapists currently) And my needs are refined, rich, complex, as a HSP (and a million other specialized labels) human in our time.

Will it only continue to get lonelier in this life, despite my best efforts? My life is just dread after disappointment after isolation, against and again, especially this week. I dont really understand what to do differently. I can weather the pain. I can sit with it, through it. Ive done it so many times before. But it is encroaching and taking over. To be honest I feel sometimes like my mental coherence, stability, and memory are breaking down from the incredible stress I have been under so consistently, for so long. Like I cant think clearly like I once could comparatively. Like, I could somehow lose my groundedness in reality or lose a semblance of sanity. I fear that a bit; ive had ample examples of that in my life in others ive known intimately (mostly earlier in my life). I want to give up on all of it but I knoe that'd be more of a nightmare. Bills have to be paid and no one else will provide the money to pay them. Everything hurts. I want to scream and wail out all my grief in a wholesome place that i cant find. I want to contribute to the greater good for people like us who feel and know and intuit so much richness, I want to last long enough to leave a legacy of wisdom and insight and healing for others in my wake. I havent had a chance to do that yet i dont think - ive been grappling with survival. Humans arent supposed to be this alone. Not that any of you can really help, and I despise unsolicited advice (there's a whole lot you dont know of what I have done and been through) but I need help, like divine help, like deep shifts, liberation that I am not sure will ever happen.

I wish I had safe and stable arms to wail into, to be held by, to know im understood there.

I am looking for (all US-based) MSW students almost finished with their degree, recent MSW grads, and less recent MSW grads who have endured the hypocrisy of the internship system for graduate students. I am beyond fed up with what I am expected to be responsible for, now in my second internship and also to a similar extent in my previous internship. My school is more hands off than many regarding my internships, which probably makes all of this even more upsetting. I am paying my school tuition, and I signed a contract with my internship sites, and yet it is on me to make sure so many things actually happen that I am entitled to as an intern. This actually goes along with experiences I have had in classes as well, realizing that whether I put my all and passion into an assignment, or just "good enough", I can get the same A either way. I am already in my late 30s, a person radicalized through being poor and doing min wage labor among other things, and i see how this degree feels like simply paying for the privilege (and eventually license) to get to work in the field, as I already had basically the same knowledge from a prior psychology degree in which the credits could not transfer over, and also personally have a lot of passion and curiosity about all the topics so am well-studied. But nobody really cares how much passion or apathy I put into this experiences besides me.

But they do care that I pay. At the end of the day thats what seems to matter most in this degree. I will get what I can out of my second clinical internship (which i began this month) - and my direct hours here are certainly worthwhile - but overall I feel deeply jaded from my experiences (the reality of the incongruence of NASW ethics, social justice and our actual student experiences) and I am really hoping there are others who would be willing to commiserate and validate what I am going through, because my program is remote and I am super isolated, and none of the school or internship people will/can talk about this in a realistic, genuine way with me. Comment if this is you and maybe we can message each other and/or communicate in other ways.

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Hi folks, i run a decluttering/organizing business and I find myself having to explain storage furniture to clients often. I suspect there is a visual online resource that already exists like this and I am hoping you can point me to it. I am talking about different types of shelving, ottomans, cabinets, dressers, storage bins (even for an outdoor porch area) and so on. It would be great if the resource already touched on what types.of items would appropriately go into each type of furniture, and maybe even touched on determining appropriate measurements. So far in my own Google searching I jave found many furniture company website that almost provide this, but its more like a catalog of their items and less of a how-to with clear explanations.

Hi folks, i run a decluttering/organizing business and I find myself having to explain storage furniture to clients often. I suspect there is a visual online resource that already exists like this and I am hoping you can point me to it. I am talking about different types of shelving, ottomans, cabinets, dressers, storage bins (even for an outdoor porch area) and so on. It would be great if the resource already touched on what types.of items would appropriately go into each type of furniture, and maybe even touched on determining appropriate measurements. So far in my own Google searching I jave found many furniture company website that almost provide this, but its more like a catalog of their items and less of a how-to with clear explanations.

I keep seeing these videos on social media in my algorithm today and yesterday about how couples with a NT partner and an ASD partner struggle to communicate or read one another emotionally. These videos seem to say that NTs have to learn to communicate their emotions and needs verbally rather than simply huff and puff and give off the various subtle cues that might indicate how theyre feeling to some non-ASD people (bit not to ASD who cant read that stuff apparently).

The funny thing is - and i assume many of you relate - i am a total expert at verbally communicating my needs and emotions. I learned to be from growing up with a probably ASD parent (granted it didn't make things better for me as a kid) and I learned a lot of the communication skills as a young adult who kept attracting people who were likely also ASD or something like it and couldnt read my cues.

Being able to articulate all of this in language is a valuable skill - dont get me wrong. It is a useful skill for basically anyone to have, even just for themselves when writing. But feeling as if that is as far as it will ever get with emotional intimacy, and a friend or partner or family member cannot just become emotionally attuned in a healthy, caring way, and that excessive (for a non-ASD person) explaining and verbalizing will always be this necessary kind of exhausting isolating factor... and you will never just be "seen" and connected with in a different, deeper way... that is the nightmare I have lived with much of my life. I am still unlearning to go into all the extensive communication that I shouldnt have to (repeatedly) explain. I'm not saying its inherently bad - i can and do have friendships with ASD people. But its very hard to learn that there are also people that wont need that. I was so used to that being my norm, because it was! So ironically to these videos apparently teaching NTs how to properly verbalize their needs and emotions all the time - i am trying to do LESS of that. After a while it is harmful to me and my spirit.

Not seeking any advice here, just sharing what I suspect we can all relate with. And its kind of funny and weird, no?

Edit: i never really thought about this related aspect before but it strikes me now, I think I learned to doubt my own judgment and understanding of others' subtle emotional cues not because I have ASD myself but because I grew up with ASD being the norm, and my mom couldn't read the cues, so I sort of absorbed that myself. Granted, my distrust of my intuition also came from her gaslighting me constantly. But I wonder if her modeling of distrusting her perception of what people were communicating nonverbally (if anything) was something I absorbed and then have had to sort through in a weird way as a non ASD person.

Hi all. This is my first time posting here. Ive struggled with defining wtf was going on with my mom in my childhood. It was extremely terrible. She was severely incompetent in many ways - certainly emotionally - and was a severe hoarder once my other parent left (which was around the time I was 7 I believe). I was an only child and extremely parentified from probably age 3 or 4, crazy as that may sound to some. I have been no contact with her since about 2020, though she still sends me regular emails which go to my Spam folder, and I still occasionally feel sick with guilt and honestly pity about the situation, but so far i remain no-contact.

I am diagnosed with CPTSD and ADHD (lots of overlap there) and at times question whether ASD may be in there as well. But so far i think its more that I was raised by soemone with ASD or something like ot, so that why I kind of relate to it.

Theres a lot i could say and may in future posts but what I want to focus on here is my relationships, platonic, familial, and romantic. Familial is mostly not a thing for my at this point as I am no contact with almost all family members. I do intend to create chosen family but thats not really a process I can control or time.

Since my mid 20s I have observed a pattern (I didnt recognize and name it til later, that took time) of attracted "lost boys and girls" - people with a lot of incompetence, low emo IQ and skills, linear/logic-oriented, so not pick up on social/emotional cues, and a lack of life direction, usually also pretty insular and stubborn. Sometimes i dont recognize how severe these qualities are in the person until we have spent considerable time together, or these features sort of hide behind defense mechanisms so theyre not obvious for a while. I suspect many of these people have ASD, or something like it. Many of them also dont seem capable of emotionally attuning with me, or learning and adapting with me as they get to know me and my needs and preferences (but this is a thing I can easily figure out and give to others). Over more than a decade i have had multiple cycles of 1.) noticing this was most or all of the people i was relating with, 2.) shedding those relationships due to burnout from not being seen/appreciated/attuned with (and basically being the parent in the dynamic unfortunately in retrospect), 3.) Gradually, more carefully building new connections that seem more informed and attuned 4,) only to discover, nope, this is a simialr dynamic as the previous cycle and im burning out again and feeling more alone than ever.

I yearn for really emotional attunementand connection, growing together, picking up easily on emotional cues, loving mutually in this attuned and caring way. I have given this to people. Yet i have almost never received it - maybe, possibly never - at least in a consistent way. I think people in this sub could relate to this, recognizing its really may not be hyperbole.

I want to break this cycle. I want to be emotionally connected and witnessed and appreciated and loved and so on. My current lifestyle does have an element of disconnection unrelated to this, but aside from that, I see how his cycle keeps me stuck in reinforcement fo this belief I will always be socially isolated, separate, alone.

A friend - or perhaps more of an acquaintance - who soemwhat resembles this kind of person, and also works newly as a therapist (that is also my career path) said she thought maybe I should start intentionally seeking out fellow neurodivergent people (I do have cptsd and adhd afterall, and I know quite well my learning styles are not normative, I study this kind of thing in grad school AND struggle with the academic structure and have my whole life, etc) becaue they may be more likely to understand and appreciate my "different" ways of doing things, of communicating, of loving. I dont know this person all that well and I think she meant well in saying this and in somw ways it makes sense. Yet, if ND largely means something g like the "lost boys and girls" i mentioned, that is actually the very thing I dont want to do.

But then also as a person with extensive trauma and having done extensive therapy to move through that grief and dysfunction... i am certainly not normal either, and I dont want or seek normal.

But I do seek genuine connection. Safe connection. Vulnerable, steady connection.

I won't go into it all but ive studied a lot of psychology, both academically and through need/experience as a client in therapy myelf. I have various practices i regularly engage in that are supportive, but none of these can shape the kind of people or relationships I attract. I practice nervous system regulation meditations, for example, that assist me in emotionally attuning with myself, even though I can't actually do this with any personal contacts in my life and maybe possibly never have, as I previously mentioned.

What am I asking for? Mostly validation that you get it if you do, because this feels like such a weird and unique experience and a lot of people wont get it in general. Also, if you relate to this and you managed to break the cycle and find satisfying relationships please share what that was like for you and what was essential for the change to occur. I dont want advice for my specific scenario.

Hi all. I am not seeking direct advice, but rather the stories of people who have experienced something like this. I would also welcome validation and empathy/emotional support without advice.

This is not the first time i have verbalized this pattern in my life. Over the years, it had actually improved and narrowed somewhat. I used to say I had a tendency to attract all the "lost boys and girls" to me - people who really didnt seem to have a sense of direction and I sort of automatically would end up in a (sometimes subtly) parental role with. Usually neither of us would acknowledge that dynamic.

From there i have become more discerning in my connections, but it still seems to be along a similar track. In recent years I had altogether shed any remaining friendships (or in one case a romantic relationship) I had that were at all "close". In most cases it was because the person was so unobservant of my needs and character, and basically needed me to tell and explain everything about myself and needs in words for them to be able to "give" me anything or "see" me, that i would basically burn out from feeling totally alone and separate in the connection. It was as if I was holding everything together. At times I saw this wasnt the case, and the people, im various ways, showed me they did appreciate and see me; however, it was usually nowhere near enough for me to "subsist" on, and nowhere near equivalent to what i was openly sharing with and giving to them all the time. In many cases these people were also sort of stereotypically "autistic" (and I say this as someone who likely is also autistic but not necessarily so stereotypically so) in the specific sense that they were really, really competent in very limited, brainy areas. They had obsessions and fixation with certain topics, and sometimes this is what drew us together. They didnt pick up on emotional cues and didnt do much learning about me and my needs over time without me straight up telling them verbally, and sometimes many times over. These people all tended toward being very logical and linear. They often lack a strong sense of direction in life, and did not thibk this was a problem (and maybe its not, but it is part of the pattern); and this even would lead to me making all decisions and plans for us, basically... kind of like a parent. I also did not experience emotional attunement with any of these people. I did/do feel affection for them sometimes strongly so, and I believe they felt/feel it for me, but it was a largely separate kind of affection, as if we mught reach out but definitely would never actually get to meet and "merge" in that shared love. There was often a sense of dissociation and not being fully accepted by them without masking and accommodating them in a lot of ways. I was usually giving much more than I was receiving, and they usually didnt know this at all unless I told them.. repeatedly. Some of them were very good at giving me one thing I liked in particular, which was also part of what kept our connection going on as long as it did. But that thing they gave me was not regenerative or connective in nature.

Explaining myself can be a trauma response, and also can end up triggering a flashback, so it can go both ways into a negative place for me - particularly when I am doing it all the time with someone. I did a lot of it with these people.

Most of these people were male/cis men, but to a lesser extent, this pattern can also be seen in connections with women, NB, and AFAB people.

One thing I know is there can be a safety in being unseen by a person i am closest to. In at least one case, it actually allowed me to feel safe and unburdened and protected from overwhelm. However, that very same dynamic also heavily reinforced my isolation, separation, sense of never getting to feel/be understood, and the impossibility of deeper connection, which ultimately burned me out.

I am curious if others relate to this. There is so much more I could say about this, including some decisions and changes I have made since these connections (mostly) ended, but i dont want to make this too long of a post. Maybe I will say more in reply comments if it makes sense. I would love to know how you have navigated this, or if you are deeply in it now, or if you had it a long time ago, or half you have a more psoitive lens on it for yourself. Please share.

A little background: i am in my late 30s and have been in trauma therapy of various kinds for over a decade and have come a long way. I had CPTSD, ADHD, and a variety of other things, including some chronic more physical oriented illnesses. Im a graduate student and living in poverty currently.

Thank you.

Hello folks,

I am excited to use a diaphragm (Caya) for the first time. Many other BC methods don't work for me for various reasons, including but not limited to allergic reactions. I also have some chronic illnesses and relatedly many allergies.

When I read the Caya instructions it indicated it is most effective when used with a contraceptive gel. I looked into these and from what I can tell, there are only TWO sold in the USA (my country of residence) and ONE that is over-the-counter (OTC). I am not interested in Phexxi, mostly because of the cost, but also because of some of the reviews by sensitive people of having bad reactions to it. I am often one of those "sensitive" people, and I am also economically poor, so I have little desire to try Phexxi. The other OTC option is the Nonoxynol-9 gel (seemingly made by only 2 companies, one being VCF, both basically the same 1 product). I read similar reviews about sensitive users having bad reactions to N-9. I see Caya makes their own diaphragm gel that is lactic (and other) acid based without N-9, but this is not sold (legally) in the USA. I can buy it from a Canadian website, but thanks to the tariffs, shipping is horribly expensive.

I think these are my options and they seem to suck. So my questions to you are:

1. Have you used a Phexxi or N-9 contraceptive gel with a diaphragm and how was it? Are you a sensitive person when it comes to things like this? Would you recommend it?

2. For the Americans, am I missing any other options (not mentioned in this post) that are easily and affordably available here in the USA?

No advice please.

Im a ways into a recovery stage of cptsd. Ive been in therapy over around 15 years now and have come a long way, just to give some background. However, the last few years have been brutal in terms of financial poverty (out of my control), health issues, and lack of a support system/friends. I truly believe i have been doing my best and yet all of this has made life very hard, and sometimes its very easy to fall into despair. In the mean time I keep working toward a more stable future and the long-term goals I have.

I am very lonely. In 2021 I broke up with someone I dated for almost 2 years who also had cptsd, among other possibly diagnoses. It was a very challenging relationship. His instability, substance abuse, and externalization of anger (sometimes projections and unjust anger directed at me) meant that ultimately that relationship was fairly traumatic/re-traumatizing. That also happened along with some good times, and some genuine efforts I believe on both our parts. But I do want to be cautious to not give him too much credit. I silenced myself for much of the relationship to avoid his aggressive outbursts at not liking my open emotional expression. How can a person who doesnt feel safe to express themselves also be able to receive love from the same unsafe person? So after I managed to end the relationship (after going into freeze for a period of time toward the end of the relationship), i grieved and reflected a lot, and learned a lot about myself. I had already had some wisdom before that relstionship began, and I was accruing more - about myself, what i need, what went wrong there, etc. I also chose to distance myself from the person, though at times I missed him, or rather aspects of him. Because there was a kind of intimacy, or least, a mutual reaching toward intimacy, that was has been increasingly hard to find as I age, romantic or platonic.

Anyway I figured we would likely never speak again so I resolved my pain with those memories independently. I buried what was left of the wound to an extent. He had been totally unaccountable about his role in a lot of the terror and triggering I endured so being friends wouldn't make sense. Life went on.

Just a few weeks ago, I received an email from him. It emphasized how apologetic he was, and explained some of what he was sorry for, and how he was beginning to understand some of what I had modeled when we had been together. The subject of the email was "Reconnecting?" After a lot of reflection, I chose to respond, with some clear description of my boundaries around communication.

Long story short, we have reconnected, but it has not been without a lot of rage and emotion of all kinds coming up for me. So far I have now had two intense, sudden emotional flashbacks.

I rarely get emotional flashbacks nowadays. Years ago, they were nearly constant. There may be a few flashback "programs" running at all times, especially since I currently lack friends or financial stability, but these are just kind of my norm and I manage them. So two sudden onset flashbacks has been extremely intense and harsh for me to experience. Reconnecting with my ex has been like going back into the wound. I feel conflicted about the whole situation. There was great value in that relationship, and we have a lot of shared interests and values. But there is so many problems I have with what he did to me, how he behaved back then. Its all so deeply disturbing.

He does, weirdly, appear to have changed in aome significant ways. And he accepts we likely will never have a romantic relationship again, and any trust between us is what is yet to be built - because there is basically none leftover from the past. I am so open - thats just kind of my nature in general - but with him i have gone back and forth on whether I should even share myself at all with him. While my life has been unstable in some ways, and quite lonely/isolated as well, I am more mature and stable emotionally in a deep way than i was back when we dated. His email and our reconnection is a rough and disorienting and risky disruption in my life, but also very intriguing and potentially even healing (him apologizing, listening to my rage and expressions, etc), in the context of my current life. Its confusing - the difference between the person he was with me then and the person he is apparently now. Some of these days I feel fairly sure he really is quite different, more stable, and has taken better care of himself; he's taken accountability for nearly everything I've raged at him about so far, and there have been a fair amount of things. And he seems to be sincere - not only pretending. He could not have done this kind of thing back when we dated. But how do I interact with someone on friendly terms who I experienced teauma with, from? I am not used to people like that from my past being capable of change. Its amazing, and confusing, and so hard to trust, alongaide some desire to finally build trust with someone who previosuyl failed me.

I am taking it step by step. I wish he could understand more, apologize more proactively without me bringing the topics up - he has done some of that, yes, but not enough. Because sharing my rage with him in a sense is a kind of labor on my part; it can also be pretty satisfying, since when we previously dated, he was totally intolerant of any anger or negativity or disagreement from me and would aggressively emotionally react (which triggered me, maybe because it was incredibly similar to my childhood experience with a parent - who never changed or show self-reflection about that behavior).

Anyway, tonight I was at a lovely community dance event where I tend to feel very safe and relaxed and playful. Partway through, I felt a terrible kind of collapse inside me, spread outward and overwhelm my nervous system, like the world was falling apart. This happened about a week and a half ago, as well, when I was with a friend. Both times it arose unexpectedly and felt similar to an anxiety attack. The first time it included a flood of memories and emotions. This time is was a little more heavy on the emotions, but had both. Lots of rage around the past and applied onto the person now interacting with me recently again. Lots of distrust and disgust and fear. I desperately wanted to be held by someone while I uncontrollably cried and screamed, but i have no one like that at the dance or in my life in general currently. Of course I have therapist(s) but that's not what i mean. So I chose to keep on dancing, and also not avoid or ignore the flashback/anxiety overtake feeling simultaneously. It was a lot. A lot a lot. I danced like the wind had been horribly knocked out of my sail, and it was hard to think clearly enough to follow the dance sequences - but it seemed healthier to keep dancing with kind people than to give up and go home and be alone right away. I was able to secure one good hug from a friend/acquaintance before leaving for the long ride home at least. He had no idea why I needed that hug.

So I came here to share this experience and get some words that might be the equivalent of hugs. I havent cried so far but maybe I will. And I will be journaling more. I kind of hope this weird experience i am enduring currently, flashbacks and all, with ultimately lead to greater wisdom and stability, and so that will help me see the use in not running from myself and emotional turmoil in this but embracing and learning from it. Please hold me. This is very, very uncomfortable and overwhelming for me. Please hold me, tell me i will be okay and I am strong and it is good to let it out and be weak and fragile and feel all the feelings.

I am beginning to think my melatonin is causing some rashes. It didnt really make sense until i realized it could be the various fillers. Where do you get you melatonin? I know there are liquid forms, which i assume also have additives. I assume some people go to compounding pharmacies - somthing i have avoided so far because im very poor financially in the US and am able to get any medications I do because of Medicaid - which dislikes compounding pharmacies and also probably does not cover melatonin anyway. And yes I know we all react to different things. But what melatonin works for you? Extra points if its magically filler/additive free.

Also, I cannot take capsules, so this is a question about liquids, powders, or tablets most likely.

I guess I could open a capsule and just take the powder. If you do that, let me know, also.

My understanding in our climate is that rutabagas should be planted sometime in summer to be harvested in mid to late Fall. Every year I struggle with the timing of this. Has anyone grown rutabagas, daikon radishes, rose radishes, or other long Asian radishes from seed and willing to share their timing with it? I think the reason theyre not planted earlier has to do with heat and avoiding bolting.

Hi there, i am new here. I looked around at related subs and this seems to be my best option for this topic. Im not interested in posting in any cptsd subs i know of at the time. This post is trauma related (without going too deep or specific into the trauma though) so please move on if thats not your cup of tea.

​

Im in my late 30s (chrono age) in the US and have experienced a lot of trauma, all beginning with continual developmental trauma in my household growing up. I was extremely parentified, neglected, and isolated, as I'm sure some others were here as well. Ive already done lots of therapy and am familiar with all my diagnoses (cptsd, adhd, gad etc plus plenty of physical chronic illnesses) and thats not so much what I am here for.

​

Specifically when I was18 years old my primary parent - my father - died. He was basically my only (safe, reliable) family, and from there i was sort of shoved out into the world utterly alone. I actually hadn't even gotten that much time with him in the first place since most of my childhood was spent living with only my other parent. I lived (by my own choice) with my father for 2 years before he died, thankfully. He was extremely imperfect and pretty infantile in some ways emotionally but I knew he loved me. He praised me and provided for me and was proactively involved in my life which was far better than the other parent (who was what I would call an emotional 3 year old, and certainly did not "own that" in any mature way). After my father died somewhat suddenly, i was left to float around alone and figure everything out through trial and error with no safe guides or parental figures at all, despite trying to find them along the way. Anyway, here more than half my life later and I cannot help see my life as mostly going downhill since I was 18. That is definitely not what I aimed for. I have achieved a variety of things and learned lots of things since then. I currently live alone, thought I have a lot of disabilities and live in poverty. I have a plan for getting out of poverty but its not an instant fix by any means, and im so alone in all.of this, by and large. I fond myself reflecting on my life before it became so difficult as it is now. My life was also difficult as a child, but when I moved in with my dad at 16, it definitely improved in many ways. 16-18 was the best years of my life, largely because I lived in a stable household, was able to grow in a healthy way, and had the support of a loving, relatovely stable parent - basically for the first (and last) time.

​

Im interested in finding people and resources who/that relate to and speak to this experience of arrested development right at that point of entering young adulthood and autonomy (age 18, in my case).

​

I want to look at it holistically. I want to feel the grief and fear and maybe even joy, of all that I was then, and integrate that so I can "grow up" and still appreciate the child within me, but be less dominated (seemingly) and limited by it. I get that this might be the wrong place for this but if you relate and want to chat, or have suggestions for resources, please share. I am not here for general advice - ive got plenty of that, and I will likely ignore you if you give it. Im here more for resources specific to my situation, and interaction with people who get it.

I have not seen a lot of posts about data centers in this sub. I have been learning a lot and attending plenty of local events around this topic. We have a few data centers where I live in the US. As we have abundant water compared to much of the country, we know we are a target. I have looked at how the EU and the rest of the Anglosphere and even central America are managing the increasing pressure to build data centers and its interesting. I remember when what we are now calling data centers were primarily something I only heard about being built in countries with far less environmental and energy regulation (say, 3-10 years ago). Surprise, surprise - it is hitting all of us now. I think this will potentially be a very big topic of protest and reustaence and suffering in the next 5 years. There's a lot I could say about my view and learning on this beyond this post but mostly I wanted to share this article.

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I watched some of the episodes as a kid, but probably none of season 5 or season 6 and I'm watching them for the first time now.

In Season 5 Episode 9, an episode with spooky stories, Pacey and his co-worker walk into a diner and everyone is staring at them. I noticed this man as the camera panned around:

screenshot I took

Is that Leslie David Baker of the USA version of The Office? The Office hadn't begun airing yet at this time.

https://preview.redd.it/89hqqkyw4fzg1.png?width=526&format=png&auto=webp&s=49f58e9cf158da02690b29456fc613919b5b1661

I couldn't find any online record of him being an extra in Dawson's Creek, but it really looks like him!

edit: genuinely surprised and pretty saddened by my downvotes. This is a very genuine, playful, lighthearted post. I forget Reddit is like this. The only reason there's any hesitation on my part that this guy is Leslie Baker is because the quality of the image is dark and the face is not very clear. I can't imagine how y'all don't see the resemblance (but of course I don't mind varying opinions - that's why I posted - not expecting outright meanness), but it makes me even sadder you just downvote and mock me.