Like the title says

I want to get a pixie cut Im worried i wont like it tho I know i can just grow it out if i dont like it But i would like to like it But i dunno where i could get it done for a good price. And not regret it, yk?

My hair type is loose waves. And thick. Not super thick, but thick.

I currently live in manhattan. A 10 min walk from the intrepid museum. But i dont mind traveling to in manhattan or to brooklyn :3

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some feedback on a reward system I made for my younger siblings to help them stay motivated with reading, schoolwork, and behavior.

For context, my 7-year-old sister is super excited and says she totally gets it, but I want to make sure it’s fair and realistic for my 5-year-old sister and 6-year-old brother (who has AuDHD).

They will each have a clear jar so they can visually see their "fake money" piling up, and a friend is helping me make stickers of the rewards so they can see how close they are to their goals.

Here is the setup:

i put all my questions at the very bottom :)

To clear some things up: My mom and I are a team, and she is fully on board with this! I enjoy making creative projects, and I designed this because I love my siblings and want us to have a structured, fun summer (and maybe life) before I start college in the fall. I’m just looking for feedback on the system itself, not family advice. Thanks!

💵 Work to Earn

(Note: These are individual options they can choose to do, not a massive checklist they have to do all at once!)

Bella (7yo girl)

• $1.00: Read 1 short book OR 1 comic book.
• $0.50 Bonus: For every new word learned.
• $2.00: Read 3 chapters of a novel.
• $3.00: 15 minutes of Bible reading + leading the family prayer.

Abby (5yo girl)

• $1.00: Spell out 5 words.
• $2.00: Write 5 words.
• $3.00: Read a whole (very short) book without giving up.

Eli (6yo, AuDHD boy) (he and Bella are Irish twins- they are so close its adorable)

• $1.00: Read 1 short book OR comic book.
• $2.00: Do 1 WHOLE homework packet (usually 2 to 4 pages).
• $3.00: Write/trace words or sentences neatly on lines (at least 3 sentences).

All Kids (Daily Behavior)

• $1.00: Get all 3 behavior points in the morning.
• $1.00: Get all 3 behavior points in the afternoon.
• $1.00: Get all 3 behavior points at bedtime.

>

🛍️💸 The Store Menu

Easy Rewards

• $3.00 ➔ Sweet tooth: A bag of candy all to yourself. 🍭🍬🍫
• $6.00 ➔ Theatre owner: Pick a Friday night movie. 💻🍿🌙
• $12.00 ➔ Soda night: Whole cup of soda with dinner. 🥤🍽️
• $15.00 ➔ Extra time at the park. 🛝🪁🤸🏻‍♂️

Medium Rewards

• $18.00 ➔ Yum Yum: Ice cream or a special treat from the store. 🍦🍧🍨
• $21.00 ➔ Fashionista: Pick my outfit to go outside. 👚👖👢
• $27.00 ➔ Homework Help: I give all the answers to homework. 📝🤓
• $30.00 ➔ Chore pass: Skip every task given for a week. 🚫🧹

Hard Rewards

• $33.00 ➔ Special One-on-One: Trip to the Natural History Museum (or other) with me. 🏛️🦖👩‍👧
• $36.00 ➔ Trip coordinator: Pick the family outing PLUS get to order a special drink/dessert while out. 🚪🥪🎒
• $39.00 ➔ Spending for real: Choose a toy/item from the dollar or thrift store. 💵🎁

🍾 Saturday Bonus: Recycling Rules

We have one shared milk crate for recycling. Every day that the room is clean and all behavior points are earned, all the bottles and cans collected get exchanged on Saturdays for $0.10 each.

⚠️ The Catch: 3 days of a dirty room and less than 3 behavior points at bedtime results in ALL collected bottles being exchanged the next day, and that money goes straight to Mom.

My Questions

1. Does this layout make sense, or is it too complicated for the younger ones to grasp?Should I tweak any of the specific task descriptions to keep it simple, or does it look good to go?
2. Are the prices balanced well based on the tasks? (e.g., Abby reading a book with me once gets her a bag of candy; Eli writing a few sentences gets him a bag of candy). (the bags of candy have like 4 small candies in them and are already pre-made)
3. Should I change or tweak anything before we officially start this Sunday?
4. For those with neurodivergent kids or experience with AuDHD, do you see any potential loopholes or roadblocks I should prepare for?
5. How fast or soon should i expect or see results and change in their behavior? 2 weeks? 3 weeks? a month? WHEN SCHOOL STARTS AGAIN IN SEPTEMBER?! D: c (we- mostly i- WILL be taking them outside EVERY SINGLE day of summer. no matter what it takes. i refuse to stay indoors the summer before college)
6. How should I handle "bankruptcies"? If they lose their attitude on Monday and the store closes, what’s the best way to help them reset on Tuesday (or maybe later in the day of Monday) so they don't give up on the whole week**?**
7. Any have tips for managing a shared goal? Since the recycling bottle rule relies on everyone keeping the room clean, I'm worried they might start fighting or blaming each other if one person messes it up. How can I encourage teamwork instead of blame?
8. How do you differentiate between a meltdown and a "bad attitude"? I want to enforce the Golden Rule fairly, but I don't want to penalize my brother for genuine sensory overload he can't control. How do you draw that line in your households?
9. How can I get my mom fully aligned with the "Store Closes" and recycling rules so the kids don't get mixed signals? If Mom gives in during a tantrum or lets them keep bottle privileges on a messy day, the system breaks. Any tips on keeping a united front?
10. What are some easy, zero-cost alternatives for the "Medium" and "Hard" tiers? Just in case money gets tight, I'd love ideas for free rewards that still feel high-value to a 5, 6, and 7-year-old.
11. How do I gracefully phase out or put boundaries on the $27.00 Homework Pass (where I give the answers) and the $30.00 Chore Pass (skipping chores for a week) if they start abusing them? I don't want a situation where a kid completely stops doing chores for a month straight because they saved up, or completely stops learning their homework. What's a good "safety limit" wording I can add to those specific rewards?
12. I’m worried about inflation and how long this will last. Should the gap between the "Easy" and "Hard" rewards be wider to make them grind a bit longer for the big stuff, or is this a good speed for their ages?

I've thought super hard about this, so I really appreciate any insights, tips, or tweaks anyone can offer before we officially kick this off on Sunday!

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some feedback on a reward system I made for my younger siblings to help them stay motivated with reading, schoolwork, and behavior.

For context, my 7-year-old sister is super excited and says she totally gets it, but I want to make sure it’s fair and realistic for my 5-year-old sister and 6-year-old brother (who has AuDHD).

They will each have a clear jar so they can visually see their "fake money" piling up, and a friend is helping me make stickers of the rewards so they can see how close they are to their goals.

Here is the setup:

i put all my questions at the very bottom :)

💵 Work to Earn

(Note: These are individual options they can choose to do, not a massive checklist they have to do all at once!)

Bella (7yo girl)

• $1.00: Read 1 short book OR 1 comic book.
• $0.50 Bonus: For every new word learned.
• $2.00: Read 3 chapters of a novel.
• $3.00: 15 minutes of Bible reading + leading the family prayer.

Abby (5yo girl)

• $1.00: Spell out 5 words.
• $2.00: Write 5 words.
• $3.00: Read a whole (very short) book without giving up.

Eli (6yo, AuDHD boy) (he and Bella are Irish twins- they are so close its adorable)

• $1.00: Read 1 short book OR comic book.
• $2.00: Do 1 WHOLE homework packet (usually 2 to 4 pages).
• $3.00: Write/trace words or sentences neatly on lines (at least 3 sentences).

All Kids (Daily Behavior)

• $1.00: Get all 3 behavior points in the morning.
• $1.00: Get all 3 behavior points in the afternoon.
• $1.00: Get all 3 behavior points at bedtime.

>

🛍️💸 The Store Menu

Easy Rewards

• $3.00 ➔ Sweet tooth: A bag of candy all to yourself. 🍭🍬🍫
• $6.00 ➔ Theatre owner: Pick a Friday night movie. 💻🍿🌙
• $12.00 ➔ Soda night: Whole cup of soda with dinner. 🥤🍽️
• $15.00 ➔ Extra time at the park. 🛝🪁🤸🏻‍♂️

Medium Rewards

• $18.00 ➔ Yum Yum: Ice cream or a special treat from the store. 🍦🍧🍨
• $21.00 ➔ Fashionista: Pick my outfit to go outside. 👚👖👢
• $27.00 ➔ Homework Help: I give all the answers to homework. 📝🤓
• $30.00 ➔ Chore pass: Skip every task given for a week. 🚫🧹

Hard Rewards

• $33.00 ➔ Special One-on-One: Trip to the Natural History Museum (or other) with me. 🏛️🦖👩‍👧
• $36.00 ➔ Trip coordinator: Pick the family outing PLUS get to order a special drink/dessert while out. 🚪🥪🎒
• $39.00 ➔ Spending for real: Choose a toy/item from the dollar or thrift store. 💵🎁

🍾 Saturday Bonus: Recycling Rules

We have one shared milk crate for recycling. Every day that the room is clean and all behavior points are earned, all the bottles and cans collected get exchanged on Saturdays for $0.10 each.

⚠️ The Catch: 3 days of a dirty room and less than 3 behavior points at bedtime results in ALL collected bottles being exchanged the next day, and that money goes straight to Mom.

My Questions

1. Does this layout make sense, or is it too complicated for the younger ones to grasp?Should I tweak any of the specific task descriptions to keep it simple, or does it look good to go?
2. Are the prices balanced well based on the tasks? (e.g., Abby reading a book with me once gets her a bag of candy; Eli writing a few sentences gets him a bag of candy). (the bags of candy have like 4 small candies in them and are already pre-made)
3. Should I change or tweak anything before we officially start this Sunday?
4. For those with neurodivergent kids or experience with AuDHD, do you see any potential loopholes or roadblocks I should prepare for?
5. How fast or soon should i expect or see results and change in their behavior? 2 weeks? 3 weeks? a month? WHEN SCHOOL STARTS AGAIN IN SEPTEMBER?! D: c (we- mostly i- WILL be taking them outside EVERY SINGLE day of summer. no matter what it takes. i refuse to stay indoors the summer before college)
6. How should I handle "bankruptcies"? If they lose their attitude on Monday and the store closes, what’s the best way to help them reset on Tuesday (or maybe later in the day of Monday) so they don't give up on the whole week**?**
7. Any have tips for managing a shared goal? Since the recycling bottle rule relies on everyone keeping the room clean, I'm worried they might start fighting or blaming each other if one person messes it up. How can I encourage teamwork instead of blame?
8. How do you differentiate between a meltdown and a "bad attitude"? I want to enforce the Golden Rule fairly, but I don't want to penalize my brother for genuine sensory overload he can't control. How do you draw that line in your households?
9. How can I get my mom fully aligned with the "Store Closes" and recycling rules so the kids don't get mixed signals? If Mom gives in during a tantrum or lets them keep bottle privileges on a messy day, the system breaks. Any tips on keeping a united front?
10. What are some easy, zero-cost alternatives for the "Medium" and "Hard" tiers? Just in case money gets tight, I'd love ideas for free rewards that still feel high-value to a 5, 6, and 7-year-old.
11. How do I gracefully phase out or put boundaries on the $27.00 Homework Pass (where I give the answers) and the $30.00 Chore Pass (skipping chores for a week) if they start abusing them? I don't want a situation where a kid completely stops doing chores for a month straight because they saved up, or completely stops learning their homework. What's a good "safety limit" wording I can add to those specific rewards?
12. I’m worried about inflation and how long this will last. Should the gap between the "Easy" and "Hard" rewards be wider to make them grind a bit longer for the big stuff, or is this a good speed for their ages?

I've thought super hard about this, so I really appreciate any insights, tips, or tweaks anyone can offer before we officially kick this off on Sunday!

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some feedback on a reward system I made for my younger siblings to help them stay motivated with reading, schoolwork, and behavior.

For context, my 7-year-old sister is super excited and says she totally gets it, but I want to make sure it’s fair and realistic for my 5-year-old sister and 6-year-old brother (who has AuDHD).

They will each have a clear jar so they can visually see their "fake money" piling up, and a friend is helping me make stickers of the rewards so they can see how close they are to their goals.

Here is the setup (i put emojis cause images kept messing up my formatting and made it too many pages to print at the library tomorrow):

i put all my questions at the very bottom :)

💵 Work to Earn

(Note: These are individual options they can choose to do, not a massive checklist they have to do all at once!)

Bella (7yo girl)

• $1.00: Read 1 short book OR 1 comic book.
• $0.50 Bonus: For every new word learned.
• $2.00: Read 3 chapters of a novel.
• $3.00: 15 minutes of Bible reading + leading the family prayer.

Abby (5yo girl)

• $1.00: Spell out 5 words.
• $2.00: Write 5 words.
• $3.00: Read a whole (very short) book without giving up.

Eli (6yo, AuDHD boy) (he and Bella are Irish twins- they are so close its adorable)

• $1.00: Read 1 short book OR comic book.
• $2.00: Do 1 WHOLE homework packet (usually 2 to 4 pages).
• $3.00: Write/trace words or sentences neatly on lines (at least 3 sentences).

All Kids (Daily Behavior)

• $1.00: Get all 3 behavior points in the morning.
• $1.00: Get all 3 behavior points in the afternoon.
• $1.00: Get all 3 behavior points at bedtime.

>

🛍️💸 The Store Menu

Easy Rewards

• $3.00 ➔ Sweet tooth: A bag of candy all to yourself. 🍭🍬🍫
• $6.00 ➔ Theatre owner: Pick a Friday night movie. 💻🍿🌙
• $12.00 ➔ Soda night: Whole cup of soda with dinner. 🥤🍽️
• $15.00 ➔ Extra time at the park. 🛝🪁🤸🏻‍♂️

Medium Rewards

• $18.00 ➔ Yum Yum: Ice cream or a special treat from the store. 🍦🍧🍨
• $21.00 ➔ Fashionista: Pick my outfit to go outside. 👚👖👢
• $27.00 ➔ Homework Help: I give all the answers to homework. 📝🤓
• $30.00 ➔ Chore pass: Skip every task given for a week. 🚫🧹

Hard Rewards

• $33.00 ➔ Special One-on-One: Trip to the Natural History Museum (or other) with me. 🏛️🦖👩‍👧
• $36.00 ➔ Trip coordinator: Pick the family outing PLUS get to order a special drink/dessert while out. 🚪🥪🎒
• $39.00 ➔ Spending for real: Choose a toy/item from the dollar or thrift store. 💵🎁

🍾 Saturday Bonus: Recycling Rules

We have one shared milk crate for recycling. Every day that the room is clean and all behavior points are earned, all the bottles and cans collected get exchanged on Saturdays for $0.10 each.

⚠️ The Catch: 3 days of a dirty room and less than 3 behavior points at bedtime results in ALL collected bottles being exchanged the next day, and that money goes straight to Mom.

My Questions

1. Does this layout make sense, or is it too complicated for the younger ones to grasp?Should I tweak any of the specific task descriptions to keep it simple, or does it look good to go?
2. Are the prices balanced well based on the tasks? (e.g., Abby reading a book with me once gets her a bag of candy; Eli writing a few sentences gets him a bag of candy). (the bags of candy have like 4 small candies in them and are already pre-made)
3. Should I change or tweak anything before we officially start this Sunday?
4. For those with neurodivergent kids or experience with AuDHD, do you see any potential loopholes or roadblocks I should prepare for?
5. How fast or soon should i expect or see results and change in their behavior? 2 weeks? 3 weeks? a month? WHEN SCHOOL STARTS AGAIN IN SEPTEMBER?! D: c (we- mostly i- WILL be taking them outside EVERY SINGLE day of summer. no matter what it takes. i refuse to stay indoors the summer before college)
6. How should I handle "bankruptcies"? If they lose their attitude on Monday and the store closes, what’s the best way to help them reset on Tuesday (or maybe later in the day of Monday) so they don't give up on the whole week**?**
7. Any have tips for managing a shared goal? Since the recycling bottle rule relies on everyone keeping the room clean, I'm worried they might start fighting or blaming each other if one person messes it up. How can I encourage teamwork instead of blame?
8. How do you differentiate between a meltdown and a "bad attitude"? I want to enforce the Golden Rule fairly, but I don't want to penalize my brother for genuine sensory overload he can't control. How do you draw that line in your households?
9. How can I get my mom fully aligned with the "Store Closes" and recycling rules so the kids don't get mixed signals? If Mom gives in during a tantrum or lets them keep bottle privileges on a messy day, the system breaks. Any tips on keeping a united front?
10. What are some easy, zero-cost alternatives for the "Medium" and "Hard" tiers? Just in case money gets tight, I'd love ideas for free rewards that still feel high-value to a 5, 6, and 7-year-old.
11. How do I gracefully phase out or put boundaries on the $27.00 Homework Pass (where I give the answers) and the $30.00 Chore Pass (skipping chores for a week) if they start abusing them? I don't want a situation where a kid completely stops doing chores for a month straight because they saved up, or completely stops learning their homework. What's a good "safety limit" wording I can add to those specific rewards?
12. I’m worried about inflation and how long this will last. Should the gap between the "Easy" and "Hard" rewards be wider to make them grind a bit longer for the big stuff, or is this a good speed for their ages?

I've thought super hard about this, so I really appreciate any insights, tips, or tweaks anyone can offer before we officially kick this off on Sunday!

I don't really use this site, so my 20-year-old daughter is letting me use her account to write this.

We live in a shelter in NYC that literally only has two rooms. My 18-year-old son sleeps in one room. Myself, my 20-year-old daughter, my 7-year-old daughter who im sure has ADHD, my 6-year-old son who has AuDHD (autism AND ADHD), and my 5-year-old daughter all sleep in the other room, where we share two large beds.

My 7-year-old is so incredibly dramatic, and it is exhausting. She keeps throwing huge tantrums over tiny things, like not being able to find her socks (even though she knows where they belong, and I’ve told her where they are) or not wanting to get ready for doctor appointments. My 6-year-old also constantly messes with her work just by touching it. He instigates things by sitting or standing right next to her, making noise, and copying her. When we tell him to stop, he just mimics us, and if we try to physically move him, he screams and scratches. Both my 20-year-old and I have a lot of scars and cuts because of him.

When the 7-year-old throws a fit, she completely shuts down. She won't listen, won't hear anyone out, and refuses to talk about her feelings. My 20-year-old and I talk to her all the time during calm moments, suggesting better ways to express herself. We tell her we know she can do better, and that good behavior gets rewarded. My 20-year-old even made a behavior chart, and we do reward her when she is good.

For example, yesterday she threw a massive tantrum and cried for almost an hour, refusing to let anyone touch or talk to her. She made us late for an appointment because we had to take her with us and leave the other two sick kids behind with the 18-year-old. Because she finally calmed down, talked on the way there, and behaved well at the doctor's office, we bought her a donut and a Dunkin' refresher for the three of us to share, and we played tic-tac-toe the whole way home. But as soon as we got back to the room? None of the kids listened. We told the 7-year-old not to play with the sick kids so she wouldn't catch what they have, but she completely ignored us.

Meanwhile, my 5-year-old has a serious screaming problem, and I don't know how to make it stop. I'm talking about high-pitched, random screaming that causes literal headaches and leaves me feeling the urge to smack her. We have explained why we don't scream, and we have put her in time-out for it, but she just keeps doing it.

My 6-year-old doesn't help the situation with his constant instigating, shouting "no," cursing, and throwing huge tantrums over the smallest things. He bounces off the walls and makes a constant mess. None of the kids ever want to clean up, no matter if we beg, make it a game, or try to bribe them. He is currently on a waitlist for OPWDD (Office for People With Developmental Disabilities) and will be attending a District 75 school next year.

My 20-year-old tells me I look depressed, and I honestly feel so weak. I know part of it is because we are barely eating right, especially this month. The shelter confiscated our electric stove, pots, and pans because cooking isn't allowed. The food they provide here is so nasty that I’ve gotten food poisoning twice, so we stopped eating it altogether. We are forced to buy sandwiches and croissants from the deli almost every single day until I can afford new cooking supplies.

I'm certain my physical weakness comes from this environment and the stress of the kids. I love them, but they are making me feel completely miserable and like a bad mom. I never know what to do or say in these situations.

I think it’s also important context to know that they haven’t seen their father in two years. He was awful—he yelled, spanked them, only showed affection to the 5-year-old, and told my 6-year-old that he would "beat the autism out of him." He is a narcissist who claimed to be a Christian. As a Christian myself, trying and feeling like I am failing to raise my kids in Christ, I see now that he very much was not one, but I realized it too late.

TL;DR: My kids' behavior is overwhelming, I am completely exhausted, and I don’t know what to do. I refuse to hit or spank them, but absolutely nothing seems to be working.

I don't really use this site, so my 20-year-old daughter is letting me use her account to write this.

We live in a shelter in NYC that literally only has two rooms. My 18-year-old son sleeps in one room. Myself, my 20-year-old daughter, my 7-year-old daughter who im sure has ADHD, my 6-year-old son who has AuDHD (autism AND ADHD), and my 5-year-old daughter all sleep in the other room, where we share two large beds.

My 7-year-old is so incredibly dramatic, and it is exhausting. She keeps throwing huge tantrums over tiny things, like not being able to find her socks (even though she knows where they belong, and I’ve told her where they are) or not wanting to get ready for doctor appointments. My 6-year-old also constantly messes with her work just by touching it. He instigates things by sitting or standing right next to her, making noise, and copying her. When we tell him to stop, he just mimics us, and if we try to physically move him, he screams and scratches. Both my 20-year-old and I have a lot of scars and cuts because of him.

When the 7-year-old throws a fit, she completely shuts down. She won't listen, won't hear anyone out, and refuses to talk about her feelings. My 20-year-old and I talk to her all the time during calm moments, suggesting better ways to express herself. We tell her we know she can do better, and that good behavior gets rewarded. My 20-year-old even made a behavior chart, and we do reward her when she is good.

For example, yesterday she threw a massive tantrum and cried for almost an hour, refusing to let anyone touch or talk to her. She made us late for an appointment because we had to take her with us and leave the other two sick kids behind with the 18-year-old. Because she finally calmed down, talked on the way there, and behaved well at the doctor's office, we bought her a donut and a Dunkin' refresher for the three of us to share, and we played tic-tac-toe the whole way home. But as soon as we got back to the room? None of the kids listened. We told the 7-year-old not to play with the sick kids so she wouldn't catch what they have, but she completely ignored us.

Meanwhile, my 5-year-old has a serious screaming problem, and I don't know how to make it stop. I'm talking about high-pitched, random screaming that causes literal headaches and leaves me feeling the urge to smack her. We have explained why we don't scream, and we have put her in time-out for it, but she just keeps doing it.

My 6-year-old doesn't help the situation with his constant instigating, shouting "no," cursing, and throwing huge tantrums over the smallest things. He bounces off the walls and makes a constant mess. None of the kids ever want to clean up, no matter if we beg, make it a game, or try to bribe them. He is currently on a waitlist for OPWDD (Office for People With Developmental Disabilities) and will be attending a District 75 school next year.

My 20-year-old tells me I look depressed, and I honestly feel so weak. I know part of it is because we are barely eating right, especially this month. The shelter confiscated our electric stove, pots, and pans because cooking isn't allowed. The food they provide here is so nasty that I’ve gotten food poisoning twice, so we stopped eating it altogether. We are forced to buy sandwiches and croissants from the deli almost every single day until I can afford new cooking supplies.

I'm certain my physical weakness comes from this environment and the stress of the kids. I love them, but they are making me feel completely miserable and like a bad mom. I never know what to do or say in these situations.

I think it’s also important context to know that they haven’t seen their father in two years. He was awful—he yelled, spanked them, only showed affection to the 5-year-old, and told my 6-year-old that he would "beat the autism out of him." He is a narcissist who claimed to be a Christian. As a Christian myself, trying and feeling like I am failing to raise my kids in Christ, I see now that he very much was not one, but I realized it too late.

TL;DR: My kids' behavior is overwhelming, I am completely exhausted, and I don’t know what to do. I refuse to hit or spank them, but absolutely nothing seems to be working.

I swear my mom pisses me off sometimes with how she handles my 7yr old sister, Bella. She actively conviences her so she can’t do basic things just because mom doesn’t want to “waste time.”

Today I told Bella to take out the trash because I know she can do it. It’s simple. She’s done it before. The trash just goes down the hall into the bigger bin. I even broke it down step by step. Set the small garbage bin down, lift the lid of the big garbage bin, dump the garbage, bring the bin back. Easy.

But no. She starts yelling for me to open the trash bin for her like she can’t do anything on her own. And I kept saying no. I told her she can do it; she’s done it before, and I’m not doing it for her. She just kept pushing it.

So I walked away.

And then my mom jumps in and does it for her anyway.

That’s what really pissed me off. She always does this “I don’t have time” thing, like helping somehow saves time, when it literally wastes time and also just teaches Bella she doesn’t have to try. And it’s not even just this once—it’s everything.

She tells her how to spell the easiest words just to avoid a tantrum. She watches and helps her wash her hair like Bella is completely incapable, even though she knows how to wash herself and her hair because I-ME-MYSELF-THIS 20yr OLD GIRL RIGHT HERE was the one to teach her. My mom still says she “doesn’t know how” or “she’s not old enough,” but that’s not even true.

And then she wonders why Bella has zero frustration tolerance.

I tried explaining it, but my mom just kept shutting it down, saying she’s “just helping” and that she doesn’t do it all the time. But she does. Constantly.

We ended up arguing. I told her, “That’s the problem—it’s always ‘not today.’ So when is the right time? When can she start doing things on her own??"

And she started going on about how people expect kids to be more mature than their age and whatever else.

I’m not even talking about anything hard—like I’m not expecting her to do super hard things only 12-year-olds can do. This is simple stuff she’s already capable of.

Then Bella and the others started chiming in, yelling nonsense, and Bella literally goes, “I depend on mom; I don’t know how to do it.” Like they’re not even hearing themselves.

It just turned into chaos.

At some point, I got so pissed off that I sat down and stopped helping clean the room, even when my mom kept yelling at me to get up and help. I just ignored her and said, “But I need assistance too. Can you do it for me too?” in a mocking tone. She said she was going to get mad, so I just said, “Sure, Mom,” and stayed seated while she kept cleaning.

And honestly, I’ve only started having real arguments like this with my mom this year, and I’m already tired of it.

as the title says. im scared.
i don't know what I wanna do in life. i was thinking maybe work with kids, but educators have terrible pay from what I hear. Child care workers too. Child life specialist is too competitive.

plus

im just worried abt the future. i can't stop thinking, what the point is? the world is going to crap, nd its only gonna get worse from here. what if I go to college for.... something and the i cant even get a job cause of how the world is? what would have been the point? what if I die before I finish college? i'll have never experienced life. never got to have or make friends and hang out.

so im scared of wasting my time. im also worried abt never finding out what I wanna do. my younger brother (who I often feel like is older than me) knows what he wants. he knows what he is interested in. I say I want to work with kids, but really, I've been taking care of kids since I was a kid, and taking care of kids is something I can say im fairly good at. im sure my other (little) few hobbies dont or won't lead me into a decent-paying career.

PLUS

i have severe scoliosis (not severe enough for a brace but severe enough that I need physical therapy 2 to 3 times a week, except I haven't gone in weeks because Mom got buuusy and hasn't been able to take me), and im worried that I might not be able to even hold a job without getting burning back pain. like literally sometimes i'll just be existing when my shoulder blades or lower back and waist or ENTIRE BODY will randomly start hurting. like now. my neck and shoulder blades hurt.

plus plus plus

i've been having some problems with my CUNY First and stuff, and my brain is screaming 'oh no! too confusing! to complicaed! run away! avoid it! don't bother! give up!' so like...

i only applied to bmcc because i didnt do a ton of research and also its a college i remeber my teacer telling me to apply to when i was in highschool (i graduated in 2023 and life happend and fear/anxiety happened and i'm turning 21 in july and my adhd self hasnt gone out with friends [i dont have friends] or ANYTHING since then...) and i was also waitng for my mom to take me to bmcc cause she sai she wanted to take me to bmcc so thy could hlp me with fafsa and stuff but she was so so busy with life that i ended up doing fafsa and applying by myself at home on my laggy laptop. I couldn't and cannot go alone because im too scared to go anywhere that I don't know exactly how to get to without a phone. like I can take the train to my little sister's school cause i know exactly how to get there cause i went to pick up my siblings with her every day for a year. i can't go to BMCC alone without a phone cause i dont know remeber how to get there, and if I get even a little lost, I will have a panic attack. Mom doesn't have money to buy me a phone yet.

im rambling. sorry.

tdlr or summary (cause tdlr means summary i think?): idk if i even want to go to college cause im afraid. but my mom is so proud of the idea of me going, and my brother's been helping as much as he can and when he can (he goes to high school from 8 am [City Tech HS] to 10 pm [some night school, i dunno the name of]).

hnngh
yeah

edit: thank you all for the replies/gen. i see you are all right. i won't know what I like til i try. And I can't let fear keep holding me in place, making me more miserable day by day. there are options, and I'll def have support and can look for more support. I'll be ok. I'll be fine! Yup yup yup. I can do college. One day at a time.

I say as I shake with each step.

My sister screams everything when she is slightly upset. It's never "no," it's "NO!!!!!" It's never "you're bothering me, please stop," it's yelling her sibling's name that is bothering her at full volume. its. so. annoying? like the way she screams it, all high-pitched, hurts my ears and head. genuinely.

My single mom and I have talked to her and shown her how to express herself calmly and stuff, yet she still screams. like bros. idk what to do. im tired of the yelling. How else do I teach her to express her frustration and anger and sadness and pain, etc with OUT blowing out my eardrums?