u/Inner-Shock7208

Around February I started talking to this guy from Instagram. He messaged me and always complimented my photos so I decided to give him a chance.

He only had one picture on his profile which had his face in it but it cut off half his body. He told me that he was super into fitness and health, so I assumed that was true.

Anyways, when we met irl for the first time he was in his car so I did not see his body. It was also winter so we were wearing coats. When we got out the car he seemed to be a normal weight beneath his clothing.

Sometimes he would send me shirtless pictures and I know now that they were definitely enhanced/AI photos because he had abs

When we were intimate for the first time he was very fat (at least 50-60 pounds overweight) with a hanging belly and a lot of loose skin. He told me that he had lost around 150 pounds. His breasts were as big as mine and I was not attracted to him at all. He also had love handles and his thighs touched almost down to the knee. I also noticed discoloration of his skin and I googled it and it says its a common symptom of obesity

While we were being intimate I kind of froze up and got scared because I was realizing that he was editing his photos and lied about being a healthy and fit guy just so he could sleep with me.

I guess he was ok with showing me the real him after we had sex because he then started to actually facetime me and call me and would be shirtless. He would pig out and eat food that he told me he didnt eat. For example I told him I don’t drink soda and he told me he didn’t either, but once we had sex he was punching Dr.Pepper on calls. He also started making jokes about “fattening me up”

Anyways the sex was terrible and I felt like I had been sexually assaulted. I dumped him a week ago and just said it was due to incompatibility. He still has a pair of my sneakers that I forgot in his car and I do need those back so I will have to message him

27F attractive woman. Doesn’t matter when you have an incurable STD.

I caught two STD’s from an ex and one isn’t curable and high risk of transmission. Since finding out I have this, my life has drastically changed.

I did date one guy after the ex that gave me the STD. This new guy knew that I had it and immediately accepted me.. however, he essentially lied to me about who he was and our compatibility and kinda catfished me. I don’t want to be with someone JUST because they accept me. I want to be with the right person…

Since then I have dated no one. The few friends I have are in relationships, getting married, and I can’t really date normally… i am the only person in my generation in my family that is unmarried/single. It is embarrassingly lonely.

I get a bunch of likes on dating apps but I don’t want to waste my time going on dates when I know that i will probably just ghost the guy before I tell him I have STD’s. The few people I have told were not ok with it, except for the one guy that catfished me (we still met up and had sex, which I regret. I feel that if I didn’t have such low self esteem over this I wouldn’t have slept with him. Thinking about how I let him sleep with me despite him catfishing me gives me a lot of anxiety. This happened at a very low point in my life and I thought that sleeping with someone, ANYONE would make me feel less alone.)

I feel extremely isolated and lonely. I know that my STD’s don’t make me a bad person but its been a year and a half since my diagnosis and I don’t see things changing for the better.

My attempts to find someone within the positive community has been really difficult. They typically are very promiscuous people and I caught these diseases from being in a committed relationship with someone I thought I could trust.

For months I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t a big deal. However, 1.5 years later I realize its a lie. The stigmatization I face is brutal. It doesn’t matter if you’re attractive, the decent men with sense do not want to risk exposing themselves for you.

My life has lost a lot of meaning and I’ve been contemplating ending things to find peace. I am in therapy but tbh my therapist sucks and I have not felt any help from her (been seeing her for about 6 months).

Edit: I WILL NOT BE CLARIFYING WHAT TYPE OF STD I HAVE. Messaging me to ask will get you blocked. anyone messaging me to ask what STD i have, you’re weird and if I wanted to include that information here I would have. I received 10 messages of people just being straight up nosy. The type of std I have does not change the substance of my post and is the least relevant factor here. Those of you trying to speculate what type of std I have just reinforces the stigma as you try to figure out which STD is or isn’t that baz

6 months ago, I confronted my ex (dated for four years) for cheating on me and I blocked him.

We have had zero contact ever since.

At least once a week, I have a dream with him in it. Its never a bad dream.

Last night, I dreamt that we were at an arena together and navigating our way to our seats to watch a show/concert.

In the dreams everything is always normal and I wake up confused as to why I still dream these sort of scenarios with him.

Any advice?

Alabama Barker (Kourtney Kardashian’s stepdaughter/ Travis Barker from Blink182 daughter was recently on a livestream. While sharing her screen, viewers noticed that Alabama had “genital herpes medication” in her recent search history.

No recent comments on her Instagram and tiktok are people making fun of her and commenting “herpes”

I honestly feel so bad for the girl. Im triggered for her. Its terrible.

I just downloaded Hinge last week and am noticing a pattern where certain men ask for additional pictures of me.

I usually add guys on Instagram so they can see additional pictures of me. We get the convo going and they immediately ask for a selfie.

This even happened when I had just gotten off a video call with a guy. He immediately messaged me asking for pictures. I personally am immediately turned off as soon as someone asks for additional pictures when theres a bunch of pics and vids of me available on my profile.

I feel like a lot of guys might be trying to bait me into sending them nudes?

Back after a failed relationship, lol

26F from NYC. Conventionally attractive. Open to conversations with both men and women preferably near my location. Not interested in being a third. I am MONOGAMOUS. Do not message me about polyamory

Down to just be friends and possibly more. I don’t do hookups at all so if interested in me romantically just know I’m looking for something long term.

Edit: Forgot to mention I am GHSV-1 positive and would want a romantic partner with the same diagnosis for type 1.

(I have nothing against people with type 2. As of right now my symptoms are minimal and I feel like exposure to type 2 would change that)

Cold Sores are known as OHSV-1 or Oral HERPES simplex Virus.

Cold Sores are Herpes.

You can spread genital herpes via cold sores. GENITAL HSV-1 is the leading cause of herpes outbreaks.

Many with oral herpes do not disclose this about themselves when dating because oral herpes do not have the same stigma as genital herpes. Aa an example, we call oral herpes “cold sores” instead of calling them what they really are which is herpes.

If you have ever had a cold sore and do not disclose that to a partner that is the same thing as someone who has genital herpes not disclosing that to a partner.

If you don’t want herpes, please ask your partner if they have ever had a cold sore. If they have EVER had a cold sore (even if it was only once or as a child) that tells you that that person is HSV POSITIVE and can give you herpes either genitally or orally.

Not disclosing getting cold sores is fucked up. Educate yourselves on STI’s and how they spread.

Been with this guy for about four months. During our first month of dating he was between jobs and was always available.

He started a new job and has to wake up at 4am to get to work while I work a regular 9-5. His job is physically demanding.

He tries his best to take me out to eat once a week so we get an hour or two of time together.

However, days when we aren’t seeing each other we barely talk. We’ll exchange some messages between 9am-3pm and then he disappears. By the time I get home from work around 6pm he’s asleep/exhausted from his job. He’ll sleep after work and then wake up around 10pm when im already in bed.

Some days he asks to FaceTime when I get home, claims he will call me as soon as I get out of work and then be never calls. Its gotten to a point that I don’t expect much communication after 3pm. The communication that I do get is minimal.

When he fails to call me he will then send me multiple paragraphs apologizing, blames himself and the new job for the lack of communication, etc. he recently told me that he was looking into seeing a doctor because he was tired all of the time.

Ive explained to him multiple times that its hard for me to maintain a romantic connection with someone when we barely talk and hang out for 1-2 hours a week at most. I’ve also told him that I understand sleep is important and I wouldn’t expect him to sacrifice his sleep.

Texting him back after 16+ hours of silence is starting to feel more like a burden than anything. When we do hang out/facetime its great and I really enjoy it. There will be 1-2 days out the week where I actually feel like I have a boyfriend and the rest of the week Im just trying to forget he exists so I don’t end up disappointed.

Am I just crazy or do our schedules just not align and its a compatibility issue? Atp i’d rather being consistently “alone” than feel like I’m on a yoyo string (idk if that makes sense). We’re early enougj in the relationship that ending things would be disappointing. His schedule will change in November and will hopefully be more manageable but idk if its worth sticking around in hopes that things will change in 5 months.

I had a previous ex that would go MIA for hours. Turns out he was cheating. I don’t think my new bf is cheating but the HOURS of silence trigger me and make me assume the worst.

27F, attractive woman living in a city that has high cases of herpes. We are everywhere, but people just don’t talk about it.

I was diagnosed with genital HSV1 last year, though I suspect I’ve had it for around 3-4 years. I have one break out per year. Pretty mild as long as I catch it early with Valtrax.

I recently started dating this guy who is my first and only disclosure after dating my giver for four years. I have educated him on HSV and he has done his own research as well.

We were intimate twice (with condoms) and he is getting tested this week so we can have sex without protection. I specifically asked him to also get a blood test for HSV and explained that the standard tests don’t always include that. (I understand there may be inaccuracies to blood tests. I still think I deserve to at least see an ACTUAL full panel if we are going to have unprotected sex)

I am not on any suppressive medication as I don’t feel like I need it every day. I made it pretty clear when disclosing to him that I had zero intentions of getting on suppressive meds because my diagnosis does not impact my day to day life.

Anyways, once his results come back he is going to want raw sex and I’m trying not to get too in my head about it. I am overthinking and looking for signs of a break out (even though I already got my yearly breakout/I know it comes in the Spring), I am thinking about the possibility of spreading herpes to my new boyfriend, I worry that he’ll change his mind and suddenly be worried about catching HSV and rejecting me, etc.

In my last relationship, my HSV status was not a concern at all since I’d already gotten it from him 🤷‍♀️

I casually said to my boyfriend that before we got together my dream guy was one that checked all my boxes AND had HSV1. He does not care about my diagnosis at all and took my disclosure REALLY well. He’s made it clear that he’s in for the long haul and understands that the risk of getting HSV1 comes with that.

Any time I express concern about spreading it to him he says “You’re more worried about the HSV shit than I am.” I know he’s right. It literally is not as big of a deal as it seems. I just don’t want him to ever have to deal with the stigmatization of herpes in the case that we do not work out in the long term.

It’s crazy that not that I’ve been diagnosed, someone NOT having HSV1 is an inconvenience! Can anyone relate? 😭

Its been 4.5 months sinc I received my test results. I sent him a trxt informing him of the diagnosis and a “goodbye.” I expected some sort of response but after 24 hours of silence I blocked him on everything.

I still check his social media every day (not in a way where he knows I am looking). He is typically the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. I don’t think of him but I think of wht he DID.

The unknown. Not knowing who the other woman is, if it was a casual relationship, prostitutes, other men, if I was the side piece, no idea. All I know is gave him four years of my life and it meant everything to me and nothing to him.

I know that his actions or not a reflection of me as a partner. I still question my worth. Was I too boring? Too vanilla? Not pretty enough? Was I being cheated on the entire time?

After four years together the discard was brutal. I never even got a sorry. I have him blocked but if he really wanted to he could have found other ways to at least apologize.

4.5 months and I cannot help but wait on an apology I will likely never receive.

I am im therapy. Some days are easier than others. I have moved on and met a new man. We are taking things slow and he understands I just recently left a longterm relationship. Regardless, I wait on the apology. I kmow my ex is a weasel and will never tell me the things I want to hear. If I received a call or message from him it would probably make me feel worse so in a way the silence is better.

Anyone can relate?

Thats it.

Will probably delete this later

I recently started dating this new guy. We have only had sex twice but each time has been a bit disappointing.

For starters, I am 27 F and this is the 5th man I’ve ever been with. The guy I lost my virginity to was definitely the worst sex of my life and his penis was below average size. This made me think that the penises you see in porn are completely fake and that all men were below 5-6 inches.

Fast forward a few years, the next three men I slept with were minimum 8 inches. So, that had me thinking that most men actually ARE packing. In my last relationship the focus was definitely on me and getting me to reach orgasm.

With this new guy, his size is probably the second smallest I’ve been with. I do feel it, but the sex just isn’t…. That good.

We have been using condoms and did discuss me getting back on the pill just to be safe. However, I am not sure if going without condoms will make the sex any better. Also not sure if it’s the condoms we are using but the friction makes the sex unenjoyable.

I am not sure if its his size that I am disappointed in or the sex as a whole. The relationship has been good outside of the bedroom. He is respectful, successful, we have a lot in common, and are generally compatible.

Worth mentioning that I am also HSV1 (genital herpes) positive and this man completely accepts me for it and the associated risk of sleeping with me. A part of me feels like I should be grateful to have someone that accepts me wholeheartedly even if I am not completely satisfied with him in the bedroom.

I know sex between two partners typically gets better with time. Im just not sure if this one will. The only time i was ever disappointed was with the guy I lost my virginity to.

Am I signing myself up for a life/long-term relationship of mediocre sex?

I question if this is worth getting back on the pill (especially after all these studies about it being a carcinogen) or if I should let him down easy and not be with him just because he’s nice and accepts me for my diagnosis.

Can anyone relate?

Edit: by the pill i mean birth control. Not valtrax or any herpes related medication. Partner and i have already discussed that i will not be getting on antivirals. He understands the risk and is willing to take it.

I am female Sagittarius Sun, Libra Moon, and Cancer rising

Currently dating a seemingly wonderful Aquarius man for the last three months (unsure of his big 3, but will report back soon).

All of my experiences with Aquarius have been with women (familial & platonically) and for whatever reason i have experienced underlying animosity from female aquarians :((

This Aquarius guy is changing my perspective on y’all. Im so used to dating other fire signs where the relationship feels super intense and then ends abruptly/explosively. I’ve also dated water signs where the relationship felt forced/ we were insanely incompatible from my perspective.

With this Aquarius guy, I feel like we are very similar people (he has described me as being the female version of himself). He makes me feel safe, secure, and has the type of personality I have never experienced with a man.

Anyone here has experience with a fellow sag? Also, how do I make an Aquarius absolutely swoon over me? He’s already pretty into me but I cannot help but want to be the best woman ever for him

♒️♐️