u/Itsallcrazy72

Hi. I have posted here a few times before. A few months ago my then 14 year-old daughter (now she’s 15) confided in me that she has a binge eating issue which I have suspected/known about for years. She said she wanted help. She was most concerned about the fact that she had gained a lot of weight over the winter and not as much concerned about the binge eating itself, I suspect, but I’m not completely sure. My daughter did some therapy three years ago and decided that she really hated it so I was surprised that she agreed to try it again.

I found an excellent recommended therapist who focuses on disordered eating. My daughter really seemed to connect with her at first. Today was their fourth appointment and when it was over, my daughter told me that she’s done and she’s not going back. I tried questioning her gently about if something had happened during the session that upset her and she just repeatedly told me that she thinks therapy is stupid, it’s not for her, she doesn’t need it and she actually doesn’t really have a problem.

I just discovered that the pan of brownies that she had made last night because she wanted to give them to her friends is almost all gone. So basically she ate almost an entire pan of brownies at some point last night and/or today.
I don’t want to bring this up to her because I don’t usually question her about her eating because I don’t want to shame her or make her feel guilty but I’m wondering if it’s ok to bring this up in a gentle way to suggest to her that perhaps therapy would still be useful.

This is such a hard thing. If it was a drinking issue and she wanted to stop going to a therapist because she said she stopped drinking and then I found evidence that she was still drinking then I would definitely bring it up to her. But it doesn’t seem like I can do that with this, so I’m feeling very perplexed about what my next steps should be. I do plan on seeing the therapist individually to discuss how I can support my daughter, but I’m just wondering if anyone has thoughts here. I don’t know if I’m approaching this the right way.

Thanks.

Hi all. My 15 year old daughter recently disclosed to me that she is struggling with binge eating and she asked for help. I’ve known about this for years and have not been able to get her to talk about it. I’m so proud of her for asking for help and I’m working on getting her a therapist.

The problem is that my usually sensitive 18 year old daughter continues to get mad when all of a snack food or dessert that I bought quickly disappears. She will ask loudly, “where did all of the ice cream go?!” “Are the chocolate chips gone already!?” She knows her sister ate them and I’ve talked to her 1 million times about the importance of not shaming her sister but she continues to do it.

I don’t have much junk food around at all, and I’ve asked my youngest daughter if there are any trigger foods that she would like me to avoid buying. But we occasionally do have sugary food. Older daughter also will occasionally keep treats in her room, but the problem is that younger daughter sometimes goes into her room and steals it. (This definitely does not help the dynamic. Younger daughter and I have talked about this and she’s agreed to talk to the therapist that she starts seeing about it. I’m pretty sure she also has ADHD so she has some challenges with impulse control. But I also think there’s anger and resentment built-up between both of them and their behavior is a bit of a vicious circle.)

Any advice? I don’t know how to explain this to my older daughter in a way that gets through to her. She has very high emotional intelligence, and I don’t understand why she can’t see the importance of supporting her sister and not saying things that blame/shame her.