u/Itsallcrazy72

I am a 53 year old single mom vacationing in Hawaii with my two teen daughters (15) and (18). We went on a 2 hour snorkeling adventure that involved a 15 minute boat ride across the ocean to a coral reef. The captain was a cool dude. He was funny and personable and we had a great time snorkeling.

There were people of all ages on the boat. Some were clearly not super comfortable out in the water and wore lifejackets the whole time in the boat and wore flotation devices whilst snorkeling. I’m a very outdoorsy person. I’ve been on boats before, I’ve snorkeled before, and I’m a very good swimmer. The boat went super fast at times both there and back and I was always holding on to one of two ropes that lined the inside of the boat while sitting in the back on the side next to my two daughters.

Several people got sick while we were snorkeling and were throwing up. One teenage boy looked miserable. Despite this, the captain drove very fast on our way home. At one point he apparently told a few people to hold onto both ropes on the side, but I did not hear this and continued to hold tightly to just one. We must’ve been going 30 or 40 mph and he decided to do a tight donut. I was flung off the boat going extremely fast and literally felt like I skipped on the water like a rock. My iPhone 15 Pro Max and my prescription sunglasses were ripped out of my hands when I hit the water and I landed probably 20 to 30 feet away from the boat.

I was a bit shocked, but not hurt. I knew right away that I had to show that I was OK for my girls who were clearly scared so I put my thumb up and smiled and waved while I tread water and they came back to get me. My daughter told me that some of the other people in the back were very freaked out and were trying to get me a life preserver which I definitely didn’t need.

I was somewhat embarrassed but tried to be good natured about it. I was telling my daughters that I was fine and it could’ve been much worse. The captain was extremely apologetic. He told me he had never lost a passenger in over 3000+ boat trips. He said he was impressed at how well I was handling it and then made obviously half joking statement to everyone not to put a bad review on Trip Advisor. He offered to buy me a new phone, but for some reason, I kind of waved it off. My daughter‘s both seemed to blame me for not holding onto both ropes at the same time.

After we got off the boat, the captain took my older daughter’s phone number because he said he wanted just to check in and see if I was OK. While I was driving home, I realized that I was kind of pissed. I had no idea that all of a sudden he was going to start driving in donuts or I would’ve held on even tighter. I don’t know why he was doing that while people were throwing up anyways. I realized I was going to be out at least an additional thousand dollars to pay for my new phone and new glasses.

Now I’m thinking about having the guy at least pay half. I talked to a friend and she thinks I should have him pay the whole thing. I’m positive if I called the company and complained that dude would be held responsible. He should not have been driving that erratically for thrills. I could be super bitchy and demand a refund for my whole trip, complete financial compensation, etc, but I don’t roll that way. I doubt the captain has a lot of money, but I don’t either. This is a once in a lifetime vacation for me and my daughters that I used a lot of my savings to pay for.

Thoughts?

TLDR: the snorkeling boat captain drove super fast doing donuts and I was thrown from the boat and lost my iPhone and prescription sunglasses. He offered to pay. Should I have him pay for everything or split costs?

Hi. I’ve posted here before. A few months ago, my 15-year-old daughter disclosed that she has been struggling with binge eating (which I had long suspected, but was unable to get her to talk about). I know that she was most upset because she gained a considerable amount of weight over the winter and she’s trying to lose it now, without much success.

She quit therapy after 3 sessions but I am going to continue to see her therapist to figure out how to support my daughter. Unfortunately, the therapist is out of town for several weeks. My daughter started taking Vyvanse about a week ago. (The psychiatrist suspects that she has inattentive ADHD as well. ) My daughter told the therapist that she has this all under control. I also think that she thought she could take a medication and it would solve everything.

This morning, I came downstairs while she is still sleeping and saw that that my daughter binged last night. I don’t know if I should say something supportive or not say something at all or what…… I feel so sad for her that she’s struggling with this and I just really want to help her, but I don’t want to make things worse. She’s a very private person and there’s obviously a lot of shame for her around this. I suspect she would just get angry if I brought it up, but am I supposed to ignore it?

If it helps, I had made her a healthy but filling dinner (rice bowl with chicken, black beans, cheese and lettuce) that she ate. I have very little “junk” food in the house.

I also have a question about Vyvanse. I know it doesn’t work for everyone but does it take a while to build up to be useful? I suspect that for some it might help reduce the urges, but not eliminate them? I need to talk to the psychiatrist about this.

Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.

Hi all. I’m a renter and this aeonium already existed when I moved in. I’m pretty sure at some point that the HOA is going to chop it or remove it since it’s growing across the sidewalk. (My 17-year-old daughter already accidentally backed over half of it but it has been recovering nicely.)

I would like to move it, probably to a container on my back patio. Any ideas about best way to do it? If I can’t dig deep enough to get the roots, can I just cut it as far down the stem as possible?

TIA

Edit: I forgot to post pic. See comments.

Just wanted to let everyone know that this sub was referenced in the NYTimes in a piece discussing a masculinity crisis in US. One of the contributors in the piece mentioned that the ways in which men are so supportive of each other in R/bald is an example of positive masculinity. I’m a woman and I love this sub for that very reason!

Hi. Brand new here. For years, I have suspected that my 15-year-old daughter has both disordered eating and inattentive ADHD. She finally owned up to the binge eating disorder a few months ago. I got her into a psychiatrist who also confirmed the ADHD diagnosis.

She was just prescribed Vyvanse since it could potentially help with both. The psychiatrist discussed the potential negative side effects that could show up but I’m worried that my daughter won’t share how she is feeling on the medication. She is refusing therapy (don’t need advice about this) and she is very set on the idea that this medication is going to cure her of her binge eating disorder. So I think she could potentially hide any negative side effects if she thinks it’s going to help with that.

What should I be looking out for?

53 year old single mom of teenage girls. I am so tired of life and of myself. Things have been really challenging the past few years since I had to take on 100% custody of my daughters because their dad sucks. They have both had a lot of issues, especially the youngest. I’ve helped them navigate self-harm, anxiety, and depression. And now youngest has a binge eating disorder and ADHD diagnosis and refuses to go to therapy. We got kicked out of our rental six months ago because the owner was selling and I moved us into a new rental townhouse. The new townhouse is nice but It feels like there are always new issues cropping up. I am also dealing with a lot of problems at my job while managing a chronic pain issue and going through menopause. So blah, blah blah, all the stuff.

I’m feeling particularly sad and emotional lately because my oldest is moving out to go to college in August. She and I are really close. (She is not the hard one.) I will miss her so much.

I oscillate between feeling so irritable, sad, and angry. I’ve tried medication and therapy. I take HRT and antidepressants. Nothing is helping so far. I really think that I need to get more exercise or engage in one of the hobbies that I have abandoned, but I just cannot seem to make myself do it. All I ever want to do is hide. The minute I get home from work and/or shuttling youngest daughter to practice or a doctors appointment, I just want to go into my room and shut the door. I don’t want to make dinner, I don’t want to clean the house, I don’t want to deal with any kid issues. (My youngest is also not very nice to me lately.) I just want to lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling. Sometimes I read or doom scroll— basically anything to escape. I cannot seem to break the habit.

I’m trying to be kind to myself. I give myself permission not to cook every night eat and have the girls fend for themselves and take on more responsibilities, but nothing is seeming to help.

I’m getting so tired of myself that I can’t do what I think I should be doing to try and feel better. I just feel so lost or broken and I’m so tired of feeling this way. ☹️

Hi. I have posted here a few times before. A few months ago my then 14 year-old daughter (now she’s 15) confided in me that she has a binge eating issue which I have suspected/known about for years. She said she wanted help. She was most concerned about the fact that she had gained a lot of weight over the winter and not as much concerned about the binge eating itself, I suspect, but I’m not completely sure. My daughter did some therapy three years ago and decided that she really hated it so I was surprised that she agreed to try it again.

I found an excellent recommended therapist who focuses on disordered eating. My daughter really seemed to connect with her at first. Today was their fourth appointment and when it was over, my daughter told me that she’s done and she’s not going back. I tried questioning her gently about if something had happened during the session that upset her and she just repeatedly told me that she thinks therapy is stupid, it’s not for her, she doesn’t need it and she actually doesn’t really have a problem.

I just discovered that the pan of brownies that she had made last night because she wanted to give them to her friends is almost all gone. So basically she ate almost an entire pan of brownies at some point last night and/or today.
I don’t want to bring this up to her because I don’t usually question her about her eating because I don’t want to shame her or make her feel guilty but I’m wondering if it’s ok to bring this up in a gentle way to suggest to her that perhaps therapy would still be useful.

This is such a hard thing. If it was a drinking issue and she wanted to stop going to a therapist because she said she stopped drinking and then I found evidence that she was still drinking then I would definitely bring it up to her. But it doesn’t seem like I can do that with this, so I’m feeling very perplexed about what my next steps should be. I do plan on seeing the therapist individually to discuss how I can support my daughter, but I’m just wondering if anyone has thoughts here. I don’t know if I’m approaching this the right way.

Thanks.