u/Johnny_Mira

Im at work today. Thats fine, I was asked and said yes. I wanted the overtime. But there's some things annoying me today.

1. We have a small parking lot and limited spaces and people think its just fine to park here and hang out and watch the festivities.

2. A fuel delivery truck pulled in to fill us up, and none of these fuckers moved. They just sat there like idiots until the driver came out and had to tell them all to move.

3. Its been non stop customers and every time I almost get a window for a little break I get the idiot who forgot his wallet then has to transfer money then forgot his pin and even though hes been in line 10 minutes has given zero thought to what he wants at the counter and then I got a full line again.

Dumbass coworker let some crackhead steal our keys. Not like the main keys but they unlock the ice, propane and vapes. All because of a conversation id had with Dumbass.

Dumbass: how am I supposed to get ice for people when I have a line?

Me: you just take the customers as they come. Thats what I do. Apologize to the others and let them know youll be right back in.

Dumbass: can I just give them the keys and they get their own ice?

Me: no youre not supposed to....BUT if its really busy and its someone you KNOW AND TRUST, sometimes its the only way.

Next day of course, fucking I Am Sam gave them to...."some guy." Who was it? "I dunno."

It can apply to anyone but right now I have a temp boss while the main boss is on medical leave. First off he talks real low and the store has a lot of ambient background noise.

Hes also unclear with his instructions. He asks what lotto tickets we need and im like "do you want to know how many, the dollar amount or the specific ticket?" And hes all snappy like "well duh I need the specific ticket."

He also just says random shit while im focused on something else.

Boss: me farga blatony bar!

Me: huh?

Boss: fo veri ta blaga do!

Me: wh...what?

Boss: THATS. A. GOOD. LOOKING. PIE!!! CHRIST!!! (Regarding a pizza he just made).

I mean seriously I get its frustrating when you have to keep repeating yourself, but logically, anyone smarter than I am sam should understand basic biology enough to know humans do not have a microphone sensitivity button installed.

They do however have a "speak the fuck up and talk like a human being a not a caveman" feature.

I do overnights. I have to clean the fuck out of this shit hole of a store. I know they also expect me to put the truck away and stock coolers but I honestly just dont have time and im slow at it anyway.

This is me trying to stock: go into the cooler, see an empty spot. Ok, what goes here. DING DONG.

ok go deal with customer, which could be anywhere from 30 seconds to 15 minutes. Go back to cooler, find the empty spot, ok what goes here DING DONG

go deal with customer, again maybe 1 minute, might be 30! Now back to the cooler. Ok i need a blue mountain dew now where are those DING DONG....

How about the 5 people working day shift do the stocking and put the truck away. The people who can do it uninterrupted because they have someone on register. The people who are far more familiar with where everything is and where everything goes.

I work 3rd shift. Sometimes 1st shift wants to leave me a message. So they tell the 2nd shift guy to tell me.

But hes dumb as fuck and is always forgetting and messing it up, and they probably dont explain it too well and he doesnt ever ask for clarification, so I always get the wrong message.

"Hey carl said uh, something about the gas pumps? And maybe the safe is down? And the oven is off i think? I dont know. And mike is coming in at 5 instead of 6 so you can leave early."

Meanwhile, the gas pumps are fine, I fixed the safe, the oven was on, and mike didnt show up until 6. Like what message were they trying to send me.

Like yeah dude I know youre the assistant. You've also been here a week. You know why youre the assistant? Because I sold you on this job. I saw some talent and poached you from the grocery store and recommended you to the manager.

Hes smart and has a lot of positive energy but already is referring to us as "my employees". "My store." "You remembered to clean my bathrooms right?"

He even told one girl they cant act sociable anymore because he outranks her. When I come in now and have my coffee in the office before I punch in he's all like "what are you doing in here you dont need to be looking at that."

He needs to chill. Hes not the general commanding a bunch of lowly privates. He makes like $1 more per hour. He needs to focus more on actually learning the job and this store before trying to pull rank on everyone.

Doesn't even have to be something major. Just a little thing. Maybe you rubbed your eye with your middle finger and people are like "no no that was totally intentional I know for a fact!" Like are you a mind reader? Then you dont know. Accusing someone like that is lying.

I recently saw the video about the sandwich shop where their sub had B L T C H written on it. Bacon, lettuce tomato, cheese. Now is it possible someone did it on purpose? Of course it is, im not naive.

But all the comments were like "I know for a 100% indisputable fact that it was intentional!" Well unless you were there and the employee said to you "watch this im gonna write bitch on their sub" then you DON'T know. Saying you do is lying.

Its perfectly find to hold your own opinion, but trying to get someone in trouble or fired and ruin their life is just plain wrong and it pisses me off.

Normal walking - your heel touches the ground first, then the rest of your foot, then you lift up your heel and push off with the front of your foot, right?

I mean I guess if you were you in high heels maybe its different, I mean just normal walking. I wouldnt expect people just walking around to gingerly touch their toes down first and then rock their foot backwards to the heel. That would look weird.

Dude at work said hes not looking forward to August this year because we'll be flooded with migrant workers, and none of them speak English and they give him a hard time about their foreign ID.

Another coworker heard him and reported him to the manager for it lol.

I kinda get it, but its not exactly like he was making racist statements. Them not speaking English is a valid frustration, and so is their lack of acceptable ID.

Kitchen closed now. Most of it was stupid shit but there were enough actual violations so I get it.

So now what. I mean we can clean everything and make sure the paperwork is all filled out but how long do you suppose itll be before we can open the kitchen again?

I know, I know. "Why would you put creamer in the sandwich cooler?" Well Jimbo ill tell you. Our creamer for the coffee station comes in this big bag we put into the "cow" for customers. I like to leave the next shift with a full bag.

But sometimes at the end of my shift, its not empty enough to throw out the old bag, but its close. So I put a full bag in the sandwich cooler, right next to the coffee station. This way when it runs out an hour later theyre not going out back to hunt for it, open the box, put the nozzle in, etc....its just right there.

But now the DM has said no more creamer in the sandwich cooler.

There is zero reason why this is a problem. Its not taking up any extra space. Its kept at the same temperature. Its not contaminating anything. The only issue is "it doesnt go there." So fucking what?

As far as im concerned matt can eat my ass. Hes such a nitpicking by the book dude whos clearly never worked at a store a day in his life. Hes always making rules and bitching about stuff thats either not an issue or makes our jobs unnecessarily hard.

Just for example Im just a simple cashier at the local gas station. I get the floor all mopped and a dude tramps all over it with his extra muddy boots.

"Sorry about the floor." he says.

My brain: you little asshole what the fuck you were just here 20 minutes ago you couldnt get all your shit then?

What i actually say: "oh its no problem man, someones gotta be the first one to walk on it."

I got called a hypocrite for being like this.

Im like this in a lot of areas. Like if someones got "different" lifestyle choices and in my head im like "what the FUCK am I looking at here." But I treat them with respect and pleasantness all the same.

The ice machine for the polar pop....I've never had to clean it before. I always clean the soda nozzles but never knew i had to clean the ice maker. No clue how to do it.

I dont think they meant I have to open up the machine and clean it, but I dont even know how to get my massive hands up that little chute where it comes out.

So youre playing wow or swtor or whatever the kids are playing these days.

Quest 1 - Go to the goblin infested cave to the north, and after fighting your way through an army of goblins you'll find a magic gem. Bring it back to me!

Quest 2 - now that youve brought me my gem, go to the goblin infested cave to the north and kill 20 goblins.

Fuck you I just did that!!!

Wife and I split a while back. Now im not at all perfect nor am I pretending to be. But all the kids know is that daddy is a fat lazy drunk who didnt appreciate his perfect wife.

Am I a fat lazy drunk? Absolutely! Not denying or defending that. But theres way more to the story.

She cheated on me from almost the beginning. Even before she started actually sleeping with other dudes she was always flirting.

And when she was fucking other dudes it wasnt just like a random dude on a business trip or something. It would be like a coworker. Then shed invite said coworker over to hang out with me. Or shed fuck a bartender and then later take me to the bar where he works. Basically rubbing my face in it.

Theres like 12 dudes I know about and Im sure theres 12 more I dont.

Anyway I havent said shit to the kids about it. Im letting them think their mother is awesome and im just a loser. But man....sometimes I really want to "accidently" let something slip lol.

Like youre trying to have a healthy debate or something. Ask questions to try and get to a point and people just clam up.

Random example to show structure.

Me: what is 2+2?

Them: I dont see what that has to do with it.

Me: do you know what 2+2 is?

Then: you really dont get it do you.

Me: so are you or are you not aware that 2+2=4?

Them: it doesnt matter! Why are you so obsessed with this?

Me: because you brought it up. Now again, what is 2+2?

Them: youre so stupid!

So first off, district manager limits our total cash to $50. 50! You cant fucking do business with $50.

Now we've been limited on our aafe drops. ALL bills have to go into the electronic safe now. We used to be able to keep 1s and 5s and coins in the vault part so the manager can access them through the week and refill the same.

Not anymore.

So now I come in for my shift and my drawer has like 5 dollars in pennies, 50 in those gold dollar coins and a fuckload of quarters. Already started my shift at $100, double the maximum, and no way to drop my money lol.

Not to mention we get paid in $100s frequently because our area is full of fisherman and drug dealers who all pay with $100s. So have to keep buying change out of the safe to cover it, and what's supposed to last us a week is gone in two days.

Why the fuck do managers get dumber the higher up they go lol.

Might be even be a tv show but im 90% its a movie. For whatever reason some adults have gotten young again and I remember some of them running around and jumping and doing cartwheels, enjoying the lack of arthritis and other pains.

Im generally really good with customers. Im kinda known for it. I may bitch on here or privately with my coworkers but im super polite and professional when im on the job.

But man dont I hate the nutjobs.

This is one area im kind of a dick about. I literally dont care that it might not be their fault. I cant stand the fuckers.

No I dont want to join your cult. I dont want to hear about how you were involved in the JFK assassination. Get out of here with that shit.

And I dont care that you time traveled from 2093. Shut up about the government experiments where people spontaneously combusted in front of you.

Just buy your shit and move the fuck along. Youre giving me "put the lotion in the basket" vibes.

Customer: hey can get a velo 9 mg wild berry please?

Me: <looking> ah im sorry we dont have those. I got a 3 or a 6.

Customer: you dont have 9s?

Me: no, sorry. I got a 9mg drsgonfruit, apple cinnamon or candy crush flavored.

Customer: ..............

Me: I got 3 or 6 mg wild berry.

Customer: uh....do you have 9?

Me: no sorry, just 3 or 6 mg.

Customer: huh....I really wanted 9.

Me: yeah sorry we all out.

Customer: .....................

Me: uh...

Customer: .......................

Me: we have some zyn too.

Customer: ummmmm....I really wanted velo 9 mg wild berry.

Me: yeah unfortunately we are out of stock.

Customer: .....................