u/JustKiddingBr

So basically I (26F) is getting married in early December this year and it is happening after waiting for 4-5 years as his(my boyfriend 28M) parents wanted their daughter (31F) to get married first! They were looking for rishtas but she made very vague reasons to refuse them so now they finally agreed for our marriage first…

My boyfriend has two elder sisters.. the eldest one is also going through a rough marriage.. she will probably get her divorce after our marriage. She clearly said that she wont be living with us, because she doesn’t want to be a burden on her brother or father.. so she’d probably move out of the country or live in a rented space by herself.
The other unmarried one now wants to get married and started looking for rishtas again but parents are not very interested because she irritated them a lot in past few years.

Im kinda scared how I’ll adjust or is it going to be difficult to adjust in these situations. My boyfriend and I are together from past 10years and when i got to know about all his family situation, my parents were kinda worried about my future.

Is it that messy or will it be okay after a while..?

Is it going to be tough for me?

So basically I (26F) is getting married in early December this year and it is happening after waiting for 4-5 years as his(my boyfriend 28M) parents wanted their daughter (31F) to get married first! They were looking for rishtas but she made very vague reasons to refuse them so now they finally agreed for our marriage first…

My boyfriend has two elder sisters.. the eldest one is also going through a rough marriage.. she will probably get her divorce after our marriage. She clearly said that she wont be living with us, because she doesn’t want to be a burden on her brother or father.. so she’d probably move out of the country or live in a rented space by herself.
The other unmarried one now wants to get married and started looking for rishtas again but parents are not very interested because she irritated them a lot in past few years.

Im kinda scared how I’ll adjust or is it going to be difficult to adjust in these situations. My boyfriend and I are together from past 10years and when i got to know about all his family situation, my parents were kinda worried about my future.

Is it that messy or will it be okay after a while..?

why do I end up thinking extremely negative things when something positive is finally happening..

For example.. Finally my wedding has been fixed(after waiting for almost 5years) and my dad got sick, he’s on his chemo (last 3 rounds left).
But idk why im way too negative about everything going well, as in the wedding functions and dad’s health altogether. I pray every day that everything goes well but still end up thinking negatively. I want to get out of this negative mindset and energy and atleast enjoy this phase of my life, I’ve been feeling anxious from past 5 years and was waiting for this phase so eagerly.. It feels like whenever something gets off my chest, something new comes up.. now its like I should be happy about my wedding but my dad’s health is making me feel guilty and really negative. I just want everything to go well

why do I end up thinking extremely negative things when something positive is finally happening..

For example.. Finally my wedding has been fixed(after waiting for almost 5years) and my dad got sick, he’s on his chemo (last 3 rounds left).
But idk why im way too negative about everything going well, as in the wedding functions and dad’s health altogether. I pray every day that everything goes well but still end up thinking negatively. I want to get out of this negative mindset and energy and atleast enjoy this phase of my life, I’ve been feeling anxious from past 5 years and was waiting for this phase so eagerly.. It feels like whenever something gets off my chest, something new comes up.. now its like I should be happy about my wedding but my dad’s health is making me feel guilty and really negative. I just want everything to go well

why do I end up thinking extremely negative things when something positive is finally happening..

For example.. Finally my wedding has been fixed(after waiting for almost 5years) and my dad got sick, he’s on his chemo (last 3 rounds left).
But idk why im way too negative about everything going well, as in the wedding functions and dad’s health altogether. I pray every day that everything goes well but still end up thinking negatively. I want to get out of this negative mindset and energy and atleast enjoy this phase of my life, I’ve been feeling anxious from past 5 years and was waiting for this phase so eagerly.. It feels like whenever something gets off my chest, something new comes up.. now its like I should be happy about my wedding but my dad’s health is making me feel guilty and really negative. I just want everything to go well

why do I end up thinking extremely negative things when something positive is finally happening..

For example.. Finally my wedding has been fixed(after waiting for almost 5years) and my dad got sick, he’s on his chemo (last 3 rounds left).
But idk why im way too negative about everything going well, as in the wedding functions and dad’s health altogether. I pray every day that everything goes well but still end up thinking negatively. I want to get out of this negative mindset and energy and atleast enjoy this phase of my life, I’ve been feeling anxious from past 5 years and was waiting for this phase so eagerly.. It feels like whenever something gets off my chest, something new comes up.. now its like I should be happy about my wedding but my dad’s health is making me feel guilty and really negative. I just want everything to go well

It’s not affecting my ability to function normally, but it’s just that sometimes even my dad makes me feel guilty that I’m excited for my wedding, while im planning things.. he makes remarks like yeah everyone is busy with themselves, everyone thinks about themselves.. idk but he was the one who wanted to marry me off in these tough times the mostt!! Now when Im finally feeling a bit happier.. he makes me feel guilty

My father is diagnosed with stageII DLBCL.. he’s going through his treatment from past 2 months and three months to go(for remaining chemo cycles). And he’s so frustrated and his anger issues are getting worse. 3-6 days after chemo he’s low and mostly inactive, we kinda force him to eat something but then the next couple of days he becomes a different person. Constantly yelling at caregivers, pointing faults in every single thing, saying hurtful things to those who are on toes to care of him. We try to be around him, keep him engaged happy, doing things that he likes, watching movies but then he says really mean and hurtful things.. just because the food tastes bland he yells at everyone.

It’s shaking our mental health as well. How to cope up with this, we dont know how to react and suck up those emotions.

feel numb/detached/indifferent whenever there’s some emergency or difficult situation about which Ive already cried or panicked before.
Lets say, my dad went for chemo today ( I did cry and had very weird thoughts few days back) but now when it all started, im not feeling anything, no thoughts, no pain, no reactions. Im so indifferent to this situation, Idk what is happening.

feel numb/detached/indifferent whenever there’s some emergency or difficult situation about which Ive already cried or panicked before.
Lets say, my dad went for chemo today ( I did cry and had very weird thoughts few days back) but now when it all started, im not feeling anything, no thoughts, no pain, no reactions. Im so indifferent to this situation, Idk what is happening.

feel numb/detached/indifferent whenever there’s some emergency or difficult situation about which Ive already cried or panicked before.
Lets say, my dad went for chemo today ( I did cry and had very weird thoughts few days back) but now when it all started, im not feeling anything, no thoughts, no pain, no reactions. Im so indifferent to this situation, Idk what is happening.