u/JustaPloob

Every day I go to work and all I can think about is the time I'm wasting not doing the things I really want to do. I try to journal and sketch in my free time at work to feel like I'm doing something but there are so many things I want to work on at home like sewing and art and other hobbies.

My job just isn't fulfilling. The pay is alright but I wish it was more. I can't really justify splurging on anything. There's no challenge or anything new to learn here. I have decent health insurance though which I end up taking advantage of often. Idk. I'm not brave enough to look for a new job. I've never desired having a normal job I always wanted to be an artist but self doubt has gotten in the way of that as well. I do some drawing at home but I feel like most of my evening is taken up by chores and eating.

I just hate this feeling but I'm not brave enough to take the big steps to change like finding a different job. Does anyone else feel like this? I just feel like there are so many people who have it worse and I should just be grateful for what I have. But I hate feeling like I'm wasting my life away at a dead end job. I just am too reliant on the security it brings me to change things right now though...

I'm sorry if this isn't allowed. Just feeling defeated because I've been so stressed the past week that my period might start. I kept putting off cancelling because I didn't want to wait another month until my doctor would be available again. Only to run into the same problem again.

It's still light for now but I still have 6 hours left before the appointment and time just doesn't feel like it's on my side. I started getting cramps late last night. I'm on day 34 of my cycle but last month I went 45 days. It's hard to know exactly when my period will start so I just was hoping I could last until after the appointment. I called and they said it's fine if it's light which I already knew. I just hope they'll still do it when I get there so I don't have to use more sick time for another appointment.

Just glad I could spend the past couple weeks worrying about my period instead of the man staring into my vagina and likely taking a chunk out of my cervix. Crying.

I've been using Krita on and off for a while but I'm still finding shortcuts that make my workflow way easier that are likely obvious to others. I feel so silly for only recently finding out there was a color picker shortcut that I wouldn't have to go back and select the brush button after using it.

What are some other shortcuts that you discovered to help with your workflow in Krita?

My periods have never been super regular but they also haven't had gaps so long that it's genuinely concerning.

I had a few months where they averaged 30 days after I took a contraceptive but since then they've become more varied again. Thoughts?

Here is a list of my cycle lengths from the past year or so starting with the most recent.

46,34,41,31,32,36,28,30,36,35,30,39

I signed up and paid to go to this painting event in my town and I'm starting to sweat. It said for all skill levels and nothing about age and I'm freaked out that I'm going to be surrounded by children.

I thought if it was something I paid for it would sort of lock me into going but I'm still wishing I could chicken out and just go home. I know it will likely be fine but my heart is starting to race and I'm wishing I hadn't forced myself into going. I need the practice of socializing with others. It will be fine. Crying.

I'm a year older than my brother but I've never liked him. He bullied me as a kid and stole my personal items. I would chase after him and even end up screaming and crying and then we would both be punished. There was one time where he went onto my Minecraft account and burned everything down. He would post to my Facebook account. Just constantly cross boundaries. I was always very quiet as a kid whereas he was loud and outgoing and had a lot of friends.

I'm an adult now but I just don't understand him, he never seems to take any responsibility for his actions. He thinks he's always right. He just has this air of smugness about him and if you argue with him about anything he just laughs at you and calls you names because he doesn't actually have a response. This has become a thing again now because we're on opposite sides of the political spectrum.

His wife is pregnant and I just feel bad for her. I know she was the one who chose to marry him but I still pity her. The other night he was on the phone with me asking for my login to my switch so he could play Mario kart with a niece of something. He put me on speaker phone and told me I was disappointing a 7 year old and making him swear in front of her. I told him to buy it himself on the switch he clearly had access to. He threatened to hack into my accounts or something. I told him to go for it and hung up.

I don't know. I really don't talk to him often. We live states apart. I've just been really annoyed with my entire family lately. My patience is just wearing thin. Idk if this would be considered narcissistic personality disorder or what. If anyone could help enlighten me, it would be greatly appreciated.