u/KitchenFun7716

I'm going to be 16 soon I can't even handle school and don't wanna be anything I lost my interest into wanting to be a engineer cuz it's too hard for me im sick of having autism and I have no future. When I'm an adult I bet everything is going to be worse. I need ideas now I can't take this anymore

I'm 15. Gonna be 16 in Sept. It feels like the years are going by so slow. I'm tired of my chest. I'm tired of my voice not being deep. I'm tired of my mom calling me a lady. I'm tired of being skinny. Or not having facial hair. I'm tired of having nothing down there. My body looks so ugly. I have 2 more years till I can have T. I can't wait anymore. I don't feel I'm going to make it through.

Why am I so goddamm ugly.

No one likes me.

I'm a horrible person.

I want to kill myself.

I have no future.

I hate myself.

I'm miserable.

I'm mentally exhausted.

I'm physically exhausted.

I'm tired of suffering.

I hate how I look.

I wish I was born normal.

I wish I was never always sad.

I wish I fall asleep and never wake up.

Why am I always needed?

Where is my break?

When can i finally lay my head down to rest?

When will I be able to relax without a worry in my mind?

I'm such a freak.

I hate my life.

Why does everyone hate me?

Why do always feel so alone?

Why am I such a crybaby?

Why am I scared of everything?

I'll never have a good life.

I'll never Be able to overcome my fears.

I'll always be a fragile peice of fucking shit.

Why was I born?

Why am I so ugly?

I wish I had a gun to shoot myself with.

Why am I such a fucking weirdo?

Why do I have all these issues?

My life hates me.

I'll never have a good future.

Why can't I be 18 yet? I'm tired of being 15.

Maybe then I'll be old enough to by a rope to hang myself with.

I'm tired of everything.

I just want to hurt myself.

I want to end myself now.

Unfortunately i have to wait.

Or do I?

Maybe I can overdose.

I'm going to figure out a way.

I'm tired of waiting.

This is the only way to feel free from all this sickness.

I'm 15, and I'm going to be 16 this September. Only my 2 friends know im trans but not my family. My mom would not support me at all. If she knows, she would hate me. Every day, I cry because my dysphoria is making me feel so ugly. I can't even look at myself. My mom keeps pushing this lady stuff on me on purpose when I clearly don't want to be into it. She's so insecure about people thinking I'm a boy, so she gives me girl hairstyles. I try to do push-ups to help with my chest dysphoria, but I can't even do 1 without my arms hurting. That makes me think that if I can't even do a push-up, what makes me think I'll be able to do simple things in my life? I'll never be able to get top surgery or a job. Or anything at all. I have body dysphoria up and down, and I just can't take this pain anymore. I've tried suicide but failed multiple times. Every night, I dream of dying or waking up to being a boy. If not, I wish I never wake up ever again. Every day, I'm tired and miserable and stressed about the future. My mom keeps telling me to hurry up on what career I wanna take for college. I don't want to do anything, but i have to. My sister is telling me to hurry up and try to get a job, but I have really bad social anxiety. Honestly, what is the point in living? I can't do anything, I struggle at everything, I've had depression since forever, and I hate having autism. Why was I born? I have support from my friends but still feel so alone. I don't even know why I'm posting this. Usually, when I post stuff like this, I don't really get a reply. I'll probably just delete this later

I wish I could post my pictures without creeps dming me. That one post I made about being picked at for my name is a good example of what I'm talking about. Now, yes, i know posting pics at my age is a really bad idea, but this is kind of the only subreddit that is active. I loved all the support I was getting, but I ended up having adults DMing me asking if I'm single (i blocked them) and I remember seeing some person in the comment section of my posts saying something weird. I have history of adults taking my pictures and threatening to leak them if I don't send them something, which is why I'm so cautious about posting my pictures, after while I end up deleting my posts just in case. Not only am I having problems, but other people are too with toxic ppl in their comments. I know the Dm thing is not really the subreddits fault, I just wish we had more mods. Sorry if this seemed odd I just feel like I had to get that off my chest.

I'm a trans bi guy, 15 soon to be 16, I've made a post about this before, but this time, it's a bit different. Eversince Pride Month, I've been hearing my mom and her bf talk bad about it. I remember my mom saying, "They've been tryna make us accept it for years, like we GET it. Quick shoving it down our throats." Hearing that made me so angry and upset. I was trying not to cry on the spot. And it's weird because she's never been like that, she probably has, but now she's showing her true colors, and she's said other homophobic stuff before. And I keep seeing a bunch of influences saying mean stuff about pride month, even my favorite content creators. I had to unfollow most of them. I remembered seeing a Christian YouTuber named "r3alism" talking about pride in a mean horrible way. And just seeing.... all of this.... it makes me wish I was never born. I wish I was just born a "normal" boy. I hate being a girl. Seeing my body everyday makes me cry. I don't want to go to hell. Because of all this, I stayed away from Christianity at some point. And said some things about God I shouldn't have said because I was just so upset about how I am. I feel like I will never be forgiven. And I just want to commit. If there's any advice that would be helpful (sorry if this was a long post)

Some people might remember the last post I posted about my bottom dysphoria, i remember saying i felt like i was faking it, some said i wasnt, but lately I've been feeling like I'm faking it... and I just wanted to ask if I was, or if anyone could relate to these signs (maybe signs?).

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When I was 8, I tried peeing standing up, I was upset when I couldn't. Back when I had porn problems starting at 10 (I still kinda do...) I always would sit down and imagine myself jerking off and would pretend there was an invisible dick. Every dream I had of porn I would always have a penis. When I was 12, I would always be upset that boys could pee outside, and I couldn't. I never felt comfortable peeing sitting down. Every time I do, I always stand there and hesitate before I sit down. Every time when I was dating a guy and they would make sexual things about having sex, I always felt super uncomfortable imaging a guy going inside down there (sorry if this is all TMI) and everyday it feels like I'm not meant to have a vag. That's pretty much it. I'm not sure if this is just me being a porn addict or just not faking it. Again, sorry if this is too much 😅

My whole life, I've been scared of wasps. Every time I see one, I run away from it. But my mom and everyone else makes fun of me for it. They say I'm overreacting, and they won't mess with me as long as I don't mess with them. That's simply not true, I could be sitting down, and a wasp could be flying over me messing with me. I even told them that, too, but they kept dening me. My mom kinda makes me feel embarrassed about it. Should I be?

Am I the only one who has bottom dysphoria more than top? I mean, yes, I hate having tits but looking down there is a struggle. I've always never felt comfortable having a vag, I even grew out my pubic hair just so I wouldn't really be able to see it. Every day, it feels like there is something missing down there. But it also feels like I'm faking my dysphoria 🙁

I'm 15 and haven't started T (I can't ofc) and I heard that hair texture can change? I have 4c hair and wondered if that has happened to anyone

Unfortunately, I'm not old enough for top surgery yet, but I wonder if anyone has asked about your top surgery scars in public? Do you ever get side eyes? I'm not a fan of being in public, and I'm afraid if I do get scars ppl will judge me. and I'm curious to see if anything has happened before. (Sorry if I'm not making any sense)

Please be honest... I really want to know, I have a Christian family, and my grandma is heavily homophobic. I used to go to school, and before I realized I was trans I was lesbian, and almost all my friends told me I'm going to hell if I don't become straight. Every day I cried because of it. Because of that, I stopped believing, and I want to go back to believing again, but im just nervous thinking no matter how much I believe I'll never go to heaven. And now I'm being told a real Bible would say it's a sin.

I feel like I'm the only one who wants to change my full name. Has anyone considered changing there's? Or have you already changed it?