I have tapered off zoloft 7 weeks ago.
Almost no morning erections.
But I can still mastrubate everyday when visually stimulated.
I can slowly begin to imagine previous sexual encounters.
Don't really know where I am at right now.
Regards
Ik ben onlangs 40 geworden en ben vrijgezel en heb geen kinderen. Ik merk dat ik daar nu ineens behoorlijk van in de war ben.
Door omstandigheden en het gebruik van antidepressiva heb ik de afgelopen jaren nauwelijks gedate. Mijn libido was laag en daten stond eigenlijk helemaal stil. Nu ben ik gestopt met antidepressiva omdat ik mijn libido terug wilde, en ik wil eindelijk weer serieus gaan daten.
Tegelijkertijd merk ik dat mijn depressieve klachten weer terugkomen en heb ik ook last van suïcidale gedachten. Daardoor kijk ik momenteel misschien extra negatief naar mijn leven en mijn toekomst.
Als ik om me heen kijk, zie ik mensen van mijn leeftijd carrière maken, een partner hebben, kinderen krijgen en een huis kopen. Ik heb het gevoel dat ik achter ben geraakt en dat ik misschien een belangrijk deel van mijn leven heb gemist.
Hoe kan ik hier mee om gaan?
I just turned 40yo and I am in shock.
Addictions and homelessness wasted my 30's.
I now have a small condo and do therapy.
My 6 year younger sister had a 1 year old now and a partner and a house...
My senses are overloading with regret I may never have a family.
I dont know what to do. I cant eat. I cant sleep. I cant work...
Sorry in advance for grapic content, but this is about my male (40y) penis erection.
I have been on Zoloft for 4 years and tapered off 2 months ago.
My my morning erections are present some days, but not as hard and frequent.
I feel little to nothing when seeing a female IRL or on a screen.
But I can get an erection by specific porn and mastrubating.
I can get hard, but its more like a quicky and then done.
Sometimes 3x a day, but it feels more like emptying balls then really feeling the porn.
Porn is never a good idea but I am single so yeah..
All the best to PSSD-victems, but can anyone tell me what position on the PSSD ladder I sit?
I was around 35, near the end of the pandemic. I had gotten more isolated and was becoming comfortable being alone. I enjoyed drinking and smoking weed with friends, playing video games and watching adult content.
The housing crisis was constantly in the news, and I was renting at the time. I guess I developed FOMO and started looking into buying an apartment.
I couldn't find anything decent and affordable in my city, so I started looking in the suburbs. I could afford a relatively large apartment there, and with interest rates at historic lows, I eventually bought one.
Within a few months I regretted it terribly. I became increasingly depressed and eventually sold the place, started antidepressants and lived with my mom for about three years. I later bought another apartment after saving money while living with her.
Dating went nowhere during those years. The antidepressants caused emotional blunting and low libido, so I wasn't really interested in dating or sex.
I'm now off antidepressants and living a much healthier lifestyle. But I'm 40 now, single and childless, and I can't stop thinking that I wasted some of my best years and may have ruined my chances of finding a partner and having a family.
Has anyone else made one major life decision in their 30s that sent them down a completely different path than they expected?
I'm a single guy and looking back, I honestly don't understand how I ended up going so deep into it.
I saw countless Dommes and got to the point where I was consuming Femdom porn and using poppers almost every day. During COVID I really lost my way and my sexual behaviour became completely out of control.
Now that I'm 40, I look back at that period and wonder how much of it was actually something I genuinely wanted versus something I got sucked into through porn, escalation and loneliness.
I mean, I wasn't even bad looking and could have dates with actual women lined up. I still can but the women my age already have kids or almost can't have kids anymore. Did I ruin potential fatherhood?
Has anyone else looked back at a period like this and wondered, "How the hell did I end up here?"
I'm 40, single and don't have children of my own. I've started wondering whether dating a single mother could actually be a good fit for me.
My sister has a one year old son, and spending time with him has made me realize I really enjoy being around children. At the same time, I don't have much financial security myself, which makes starting a family from scratch feel daunting.
Would dating a single mother be a realistic option for someone in my situation? What should I consider?
I’m turning 40 soon, and I’m having a difficult moment of reflection.
On paper, my life isn’t a disaster. I’m 6ft, have an athletic build because I’ve always trained, have a college degree, a stable job, and own a small apartment. But emotionally I feel like I wasted a lot of years.
Like many people, I started watching porn young. When high-speed internet arrived during my teenage years, it escalated. Over time it went from normal porn into more extreme content, BDSM and femdom. I also started visiting sex workers and became involved in that scene.
Looking back, I think I was using sexuality as a way to escape stress, insecurity and difficult emotions. After my father died from smoking-related cancer when I was in my twenties, I buried myself in work and continued this pattern.
There were periods where I had discipline, went to the gym, dated, and had relationships. But I never took building a family seriously. I thought I had endless time and that I could always settle down later.
After rejection or difficult moments, I often went back to the same coping mechanisms instead of dealing with my emotions. During COVID it became worse, and eventually I ended up depressed and needed therapy and medication.
The SSRI medication helped in some ways because it lowered my compulsive urges and helped me focus on sports and recovery. But now that I’m off it, I’m facing another reality: I’m almost 40, my sister (six years younger) already has a child, and I’m suddenly realizing that starting a family may not be as easy as I assumed.
Dating feels different now. Many women my age already have children, and younger women often mention my age. I’m trying not to become bitter or hopeless, but I do feel scared that I ignored something important for too long.
I’m working on myself, attending recovery groups, staying healthy and trying to date again. I know I still have positive qualities, but I’m struggling with accepting that life did not turn out the way I imagined.
Has anyone here rebuilt their life around 40 after years of addiction, avoidance, or chasing temporary pleasure? Is it still possible to create a meaningful relationship and family life?
I'm turning 40 soon, and I’m having a difficult moment of reflection.
On paper, my life isn’t a disaster. I’m 6ft, have an athletic build because I’ve always trained, have a college degree, a stable job, and own a small apartment. But emotionally I feel like I wasted a lot of years.
Like many people, I started watching porn young. When high-speed internet arrived during my teenage years, it escalated. Over time it went from normal porn into more extreme content, BDSM and femdom. I also started visiting sex workers and became involved in that scene.
Looking back, I think I was using sexuality as a way to escape stress, insecurity and difficult emotions. After my father died from smoking-related cancer when I was in my twenties, I buried myself in work and continued this pattern.
There were periods where I had discipline, went to the gym, dated, and had relationships. But I never took building a family seriously. I thought I had endless time and that I could always settle down later.
After rejection or difficult moments, I often went back to the same coping mechanisms instead of dealing with my emotions. During COVID it became worse, and eventually I ended up depressed and needed therapy and medication.
The SSRI medication helped in some ways because it lowered my compulsive urges and helped me focus on sports and recovery. But now that I’m off it, I’m facing another reality: I’m almost 40, my sister (six years younger) already has a child, and I’m suddenly realizing that starting a family may not be as easy as I assumed.
Dating feels different now. Many women my age already have children, and younger women often mention my age. I’m trying not to become bitter or hopeless, but I do feel scared that I ignored something important for too long.
I’m working on myself, attending recovery groups, staying healthy and trying to date again. I know I still have positive qualities, but I’m struggling with accepting that life did not turn out the way I imagined.
Has anyone here rebuilt their life around 40 after years of addiction, avoidance, or chasing temporary pleasure? Is it still possible to create a meaningful relationship and family life?
I'm turning 40 this week, and it's made me reflect on where my life is.
For years I struggled with compulsive sexual behavior. I'm now in recovery and actively working on building a healthier life. Looking back, I realize that addiction and avoidance kept me from investing in relationships for a long time.
Financially, I'm not where I hoped I'd be. I own a small one-bedroom apartment, but I don't have much savings. My younger sister, who is six years younger than me, already has a child, while I'm only now starting to realize that I may never have children of my own.
The thing that scares me most isn't being single today—it's the thought of growing old alone.
I'm dating again, and people generally describe me as kind, funny, and easy to be around. I exercise, have a stable job, and I'm trying to become a better version of myself. But sometimes I wonder whether I've simply left it too late.
Has anyone here started over around 40 after addiction, regret, or feeling like they'd missed their chance? Were you still able to build a happy relationship?
Turning 40 and realizing I may have a problem with compulsive sexual behavior
I’m turning 40 next week, and I’ve been looking back at my life. One painful thing I’m realizing is that I may have developed a serious problem with porn and sex.
It started when I was younger with porn, and during my studies it gradually became more extreme. At the same time, I started visiting sex workers. Looking back, it feels like I was constantly chasing stronger stimulation instead of dealing with stress and emotions in a healthy way.
Over the years I spent a lot of money on it and developed a lot of shame. It also affected my dating life. I avoided relationships because I felt like I had too much baggage, which led to more isolation and made the cycle worse.
The strange thing is that people usually see me as a fun, social and positive person. I have a good education, a stable job, I exercise and I take care of myself. But this part of my life feels like it has taken a lot from me.
I wonder if trauma played a role. My father died when I was 24, and later I struggled with depression and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I don’t want to blame everything on my past, but I do think it influenced me.
I’m now almost 40, off antidepressants, and trying to rebuild my life. I’m dating again, but I feel unsure where to start. I don’t think I want children anymore, and I’m grieving the life I thought I would have.
Sometimes I’m scared of ending up alone in the future. But I also know I’m not someone who has given up.
Has anyone here rebuilt their life after years of compulsive sexual behavior? Is it still possible to build a healthy relationship after carrying this kind of past?
I’ve been on Sertraline since an isolation related depression.
I used to be on 100 mg and only last year manged to reduce to 75 mg.
Sertraline did a wonderful job getting me back on track!
But ever since taking Sertraline did not feel myself. Emotionally kind of flat, low motivation to date as a single man and the non existing libido doesn't help either.
In agreement with my GP I started tapering further (down to 50 mg and then 25 mg) because of sexual side effects.
Its about 50 hours ago I took my last 25 mg.
I am going to withdraw symptoms like brain zaps, dizziness, and mood fluctuations. Today it seems to be a bit less then yesterday.
Strangely enough I sleep well and have no vivid dreams or anything.
Can anyone relate to the duration of my sertraline use and taparing method?
How long did the withdraw symptoms last after tapering or stopping?
Hi everyone,
I’m almost 40 and struggling with long-term porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior, including escorts/dominatrixes.
I honestly can just cry about my life.
I’m currently trying to rebuild my lifefor the million time. This includes the gym, maintaining a social life and tapering off sertraline.
I keep getting stuck in a loop: loneliness + free time (especially weekends) → urges → relapse → regret.
I want to try NoFap, because it helps me keep some sort of life energy.
It helps for short periods, but I still end up relapsing into escort behavior.
I want to break this cycle and focus on structure, connection, and healthier dating.
Any advice is welcome.
Hi everyone,
I’m almost 40 and struggling with long-term porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior, including escorts/dominatrixes.
I honestly can just cry about my life.
I’m currently trying to rebuild my lifefor the million time. This includes the gym, maintaining a social life and tapering off sertraline.
I keep getting stuck in a loop: loneliness + free time (especially weekends) → urges → relapse → regret.
I want to try NoFap, because it helps me keep some sort of life energy.
It helps for short periods, but I still end up relapsing into escort behavior.
I want to break this cycle and focus on structure, connection, and healthier dating.
Any advice is welcome.
I am done, really.
I used to think it didn’t matter how the end of my life would be, so why not smoke? It calmed me down. Somewhere in the back of my head, I even hoped the end would come sooner rather than later.
After a mental breakdown, I was put on antidepressants. I don’t know if it’s the medication, getting close to 40, or both, but lately I’ve started looking at my future differently. And I don’t think I want to spend the last years of my life sick and in pain.
I went to my doctor and got nicotine patches covered by insurance. I also have nicotine gum and one of those breathing whistles. I just don’t want to smoke anymore.
My hair is thinning, my skin looks dull, and sometimes my heart feels like it wants to beat out of my chest.
For the first time in years, I think I actually want a future.
I’m 39 with a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration and currently working at a small bookkeeping firm. I don’t hate my job or the company, but I don’t really enjoy it either, and I feel like the level is a bit too low for me.
I also don’t have much saved for retirement yet, which is starting to concern me.
I’m not interested in going back to school or pursuing additional qualifications.
I do struggle with some anxiety and low mood, and even the thought of applying for new jobs feels overwhelming at times.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do in my position?