Thanks for reading. I really need some advice because I'm feeling stuck.

I've always been an introverted person. Ever since I was a kid, I've struggled with speaking up, especially in group situations. My mom always told me I'd grow out of it, but now I'm 23, working my first corporate job, and I feel like the same problem is affecting my career.

The job was fine at first because I only had to focus on my own work. Things changed when I was made team lead. One coworker constantly reminded me, "You're the team lead, so you have to do this," and expected me to raise all her concerns with our boss. When I told her that wasn't my role, she argued with me and became increasingly rude. She started making comments about my personal life, shouted at me over small mistakes, and even insulted me in front of the whole office.

I never stood up to her. I was honestly scared of her. My manager was supportive and suggested I speak to her directly, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Looking back, I feel so angry with myself for staying silent.

Eventually she left the company, and I thought things would finally get better.

Instead, I feel like the same pattern is happening with another coworker, although in a more subtle way.

My boss asked me to hand over some responsibilities to her because I already had too much on my plate. She refused, saying she didn't want to deal with the boss because she's difficult. I didn't push back, so I ended up doing everything myself. I was working late into the night and even waking up at 4 a.m. to finish work while she had a much lighter workload.

In the end, my main task suffered because I was juggling too many responsibilities. When errors were found, all the blame fell on me. During the review meeting, this coworker acted like the leader, pointing out mistakes without mentioning that I had been handling work that should have been shared. Nobody acknowledged that I had taken on far more than one person should.

Something similar happened again yesterday. We had a task that belonged to the whole team, but she pushed almost all of it onto me. She even told me to message the boss for more time because "you're the team lead." I wanted to say no, but I just smiled and did it.

I kept asking her to split the work because I couldn't manage everything alone. She ignored my messages. During the meeting, when the boss asked about the work, she muted herself and left me to answer. Thankfully the boss didn't get angry.

Afterward, she went on a break with her friends and casually said in front of everyone, "Relax, the boss gave us more time," making it seem like I was overreacting or creating unecessary stress.

The hardest part isn't even these coworkers. It's how I react. Every time someone is rude or takes advantage of me, I freeze. In my head I know exactly what I want to say, but I can't get the words out. Later I replay everything, feeling angry and frustrated with myself.

I know office politics exist everywhere, and I know I need to learn how to set boundaries. But right now I feel completely helpless. I'm worried I'll never get over this fear of speaking up, and people will always take advantage of me because of it.

Has anyone else been like this and actually managed to change? How did you learn to be more assertive without feeling terrified? I would really appreciate any advice.

Hi Guys.

Thanks so much for reading. This is gonna be a very long post so sorry about that.

I just wanted to know something from this community... I am going through a low phase due to office politics and i have lost hope that i would ever be able to move past this fear/anxiety of communicating. This has been happening since childhood because i have always been the introverted kid who doesn't mingle much, does their own thing and enjoys being alone but when it comes to any group tasks, i have the worst time. My mom always told me that things will get better and you will eventually become very good at things you suck at now.

Now i am an adult 23/F and I have been working in a corporate job since the past 1 year. It was okay initially as i had to just perform for myself but when i was chosen to be the team lead, it became bad. One person in particular kept harassing me by saying, "You are the team lead so you will have to do this." and "i cannot work so much, you talk to the Boss because you are the team lead"... when i tried to tell her that it is not my job to raise individual concerns, she told me that "It is a team lead's job to raise team's concerns and that is exactly what this is". She was quite aggressive and influential in the office and I could barely say much to her. She eventually started bullying me more by commenting on my personal life choices and sort of shouting at me / insulting me in front of everyone in the office. All this while, i couldn't say a thing to her and I just kept it all inside me. I told my manager about this and she was quite understanding... she asked me to talk to this woman in a face to face meeting but ofcourse i couldn't do that- i fear her so much! I went through this for a long time... she used to tag my name in the common work groups and ask me to do things very rudely as if i am her slave. She shouted at me for petty things like writing her numbers wrong (which is because she came late to office and didn't clarify about her counts beforehand). As i think of this I feel miserable... a lot of anger and frustration that i didn't do anything!!! Finally one day i got to know she left office and I sighed a sigh of relief. I thought now i can work peacefully and not get criticized for everything...

But now there are the other members who try to use me and make me work more. Although this person (Let's name her J), doesn't say rude things to me but i have felt a tension with her. I had quite a lot of responsibilities and my Boss had asked me to give some to J, when i asked her about it J told me that she is not willing to do that because she doesn't want to face the boss [context: my boss is known to be quite rude. she shouts a lot sometimes]. I thought of letting it pass and continued to do all these things alone. Little did i know that i am compromising on the main task by doing so many things together. I was working all day till night and sometimes waking up at 4 am to complete the rest of the task while J just had to do lesser task and got to chill. I felt this is unfair but didn't say anything. At the end when they had to do the checking, they found a lot of errors and it was all my fault. No one remembers how much i worked, how i did so many things together. They called for a meeting to discuss the seriousness of the errors (which i agree to!), and J was pretending to be the lead and telling people about the errors / blunders. She completely forgot how i was given so many responsibilities with no one to help me. No one, not even once, addressed the fact that someone can take up some tasks so that i can focus on the main task. That showed me that they didn't really want the report to come out better, they just want me to be more careful.

Now yesterday also something happened (the post is going too long so would shorten it). Although it was everyone's work, the entire responsibility was put on my shoulders by J. She didn't help and she asked me ask the doubts in the meeting - all 18 of them. We were underprepared, nothing was done properly and i was the only one struggling to finish it. I came early and started working immediately while J came late and was chilling because she had already planned to put it all on me. She asked me to text the Boss and ask her for more time and when i asked, "Me?", she quickly added, "Yeah! because you are the team lead right.". I just smiled to this - CAN YOU BELIEVE I SMILED AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. In my brain, i was shouting things at her but outside i was so submissive and took it all as my responsibility without saying a word. Then I texted my Boss and she didn't see the message. I kept texting J, asking if she could take half the doubts as i cannot do all of them, and she viewed them but didn't respond. In between she also messaged that she has been giving some other work so she cannot work on this and then ignored all my messages. In the meeting, i prayed for nothing to happen. The boss asked for the work and J switched off her microphone like it is not her responsibility to answer that question. Then i answered but the boss thankfully didn't shout at me. After this, J and her friends (yes, she is kind of popular too and I have no friends in the office), went out for a break and J very cleverly made me look like a fool by saying, "You can chill a bit. The boss has allowed us more time.". When i told her we need to get it done before she comes, she was like "yea that's later and it is already done right.". She said this in front of everyone to make it look like I am a crazy anxious crackpot who is unnecessarily creating stress.

Please suggest me something i can do. I feel miserable and stuck and helpless and hopeless and i don't know what. I know this is mainly my fault that i am not clever enough to survive the office politics but I don't know how long will it take me to learn the ways of the world.

Hi,,, i am a 23F and my boyfriend is a 27M. For some context, my parents had a really bad marriage and they are literally like strangers living under the same roof. I am extremely timid introverted and awkward. I have had very few friends all my life, most of who just gaslight me. But life really changed for me when I left home to do my Master's in Psych in another state... I didn't want to go because of my loneliness and awkwardness but just had to. I am glad i did because i found really good friends and also the love of my life.

This guy was working as a Psychiatrist in a really good hospital and I was studying in a college. For my vacation internship, i chose this good hospital to do my internship in and we met. He was really cute and i fell in love with him instantly. He is very smart and intelligent. Slowly we became friends. It started with me asking him basic doubts about some disorders and he patiently explained me things. He is also really good with Maths so he used to help me with stats and stuff. We got really close and started sharing things. On my 21nd birthday, my friends gave me a surprise party, we had a lot of fun and he stayed over after everyone left. He made some lame excuse, "i need to help her with her assignments." to which all my friends teased him. We both blushed hard. He joked around and finally when everyone left and it was time for me to change and clean up. He offered to help me clean up the confettis and gift wraps while i change. I got changed and when i was back, he had a small gift in his hand. He asked me to face the mirror and stood beside me facing the mirror. He opened the box and there was a beautiful heart shaped pendant in his hands which was of real silver. He very romantically wore it on me and put his hands on my torso, kissed me softly on my neck and told me he loves me. Thats when we officially became a couple and we have been dating for almost 2 and a half years now.

He does really cute things like spoil me with a lot of food during my periods, hold my hands everywhere we go, he kisses me everytime we part, we cuddle hard and sleep and he pats me on my butt till i fall asleep. I also catch him staring at me sometimes in the morning and night when i pretend to fall asleep. I cant seem to stop thinking about him or concentrate on my work or studies.