u/Low_Length6426

My friends and I have travelled around Europe extensively and have heard a lot of mixed opinions on young Dutch men in particular. A Romanian boy said to "never ever" date a dutch guy, a Spanish girl said dutch men are super direct, a Swedish lady said they're all smokers and players who date too "casual", but didn't clarify what that kind of "casual" meant. A dutch guy himself told my friend that dutch guys are only into tall skinny girls. One of my female friends actually dated a dutch guy briefly and she said he would take HOURS to respond to her, so she assumed he didn't like her & dumped him, but he was really upset about it.

I doubt it's all true, but I would love to know the Dutch Reddit consensus and thoughts.

what the title says, but specifically because it is such a poor paying job and i’ve heard the conditions are average at best.

I still applied because it fits my past experience well and i’ll be on a gap year, but i’m just curious. what makes it so selective?

i’ve liked only 4 guys since highschool started and im graduated now. Each guy i’ve liked has liked me back. I’ve never dated any of them because they live far.

first two, i met at summer camp. the first one lived a city away. I liked him a LOT from grade 9-10. He is the “blueprint” in the sense that i told him i didn’t want to long distance date at 14, but we stayed close friends and openly liked each other more or less, until i cut things off half way through grade 10 because i felt like i was leading him on and felt hopeless about it.

the second guy was a year later, going into grade 11. pretty much exact same. openly liked eachother, but he lived 14 hours away (not 2). So, sticking to my rule, i told him upfront i don’t want any labels and didn’t want to long distance date. we stayed friends and talked closely for a while until i cut things off because i felt like i was leading him on again.

going into grade 12, i met this third guy at a seperate overnight summer thing in another state. we “dated” (middle school esque relationship) until camp ended (30days) and tried long distance, but i cut it off after 2 weeks because i really disliked long distance and he got weird. he lived on the very opposite side of the country from me. the farthest point lol.

i recently traveled to europe, met this guy, and we really clicked. like movie-level meet cute. we still text every day and would be dating right now if we lived in the same fucking continent. i’d break my no-long distance rule for him if i could actually visit him without spending 2000$ on flights, etc each time. Even if he lived a state or two away, id do it. Especially now that im older and have the time and resources to commute.

it just sucks so much. I’ve had such good luck with guys i like, liking me back. but i’ve never been in a real relationship, let alone anything lasting. It’s always something i’ve wanted. i don’t do hookups or non serious things. i just like this boy so much and it breaks my heart that it’s just another guy im gonna have to force myself to cut off or force myself to get over and reduce to something so small when he is everything but to me.

what are your plans + we should all hang out, all 5302 of us, at the same time and place😳

i’ve been just doing the most this week way out of my comfort zone and it’s caught up to me and i am sooooooo avoidant of the confrontation and it’s making me so physically and mentally drained and tired thinking about what the response will be and i gotta stay up to watch the WC match ahhfjnfngkdkdkckskskcmzmwkkrgiisjw being vulnerable is hard

someone motivate me to check my messages instead of spending hours preparing or guessing when i know damn well it won’t matter anyway

just finished a weeklong girls trip and wanted to share my experience in detail! Can’t get over it so i have to rant about it lolol

three 18 year olds, one 17 year old. Never got ID’d for anything, got free and priority entry to every club, and the manager of one of the paid entry clubs around pink street invited my friends and i only on stage with the DJ and gave us free drinks the entire night. It was such a blessing since we could dance and do as we pleased without having to worry about guys groping us or being weird. European clubbing music is SO unmatched.

Was out clubbing until 6:30am and had to wake up at 8 to catch the flight home. woke up still drunk and have zero memory of how i got to the airport. We also went 3 days in a row, from sunday to tuesday. I’d suggest this— less crowded, shorter lines, filled with mainly tourists or unemployed/carefree locals so you meet a lot of cool people. The locals were SO kind in my experience, and the tourists were hilarious. Met mainly British, Dutch, and Belgian people for whatever reason.

never got lost or hurt or pickpocketed (but we were very aware & on edge about that from the get go) and lisbon felt really safe for what stunts we were pulling as a group of girls and late into the night. Of course, don’t be stupid about anything the way i was:

more personally, i met this guy whom i fell head over heels with. Ended up going to his rented place and we just talked about life from 3-8am. Not a hookup—nothing like that, beyond 2 short kisses. It was so so wonderful and he fell asleep and I left quietly. I miss him so much, but we live continents away haha. we only spent 5 hours together and i’ve never felt more comfortable or respected around a guy. We still text but I don’t think it’ll go anywhere unfortunately. (Obviously id never endorse or suggest going to some new & random guy’s place, especially abroad and alone, but I have pretty good judgement of character and was objectively really lucky. and had a rape whistle & location shared & practiced opening the locks/doors after passing through each one just in case. His place also happened to be within 2 minutes walking distance from mine so I wasn’t too worried about running away if i had to)

Food was amazing. this italian restaurant in cascais has the best spaghetti i’ve ever had I almost busted. can’t say much else, we honestly didn’t explore a lot of the food scene. Id love to return later to try it out though.

Costa de Caparica had the best waves and wide sand beach i’ve ever had the pleasure of playing around in. Beautiful day trip, would really recommend and return to in a heartbeat

Architecture was lovely. i really liked the cobblestone streets. I knew there would be many, but i didn’t realize it was literally everything and it was designed in patterns. so pretty.

Weather was perfect, day 1 was the hottest at around 35(?) but went down from there to 23-27°C with wind, sun, and clouds. Beautiful We were worried about the heatwave, but it was great.

If you’re going with friends, I HIGHLY suggest staying at a Hostel in a room with the same amount of beds as people. We stayed in a 4 person bunkbed room, so had everything to ourselves and it was so fun. Lots of “spa” evenings with movies, candy, and drinks as we cuddled on the beds together. You could hear the other people laugh or giggle at night and I really think it would’ve sucked to have to separate into different rooms after an eventful day. Debriefs are crucial. The closeness of it all made our trip and friendship full of so much laughter and love, and gave us many more memories.

Airport wasn’t too bad: line at lisbon was 55 minutes and HOT. Otherwise, smooth sailing!

Loved this trip so much🥹
Girls, please be careful and aware of your surroundings. Rely on yourself and your friends only. Take reasonable risks and have fun!! As long as you’re unhurt, any unpleasant or scary thing becomes a story to tell.

I can’t even begin to process that this trip is over now. Maybe the best week of my life.

Just wondering, since I was so insanely jealous of my friends in nicher parts of Ont that knew their entire smaller graduating class well and got to travel with them. My school was too big and too cliquey to ever make that work, but some of us took our own grad trips within our friendgroups.

i also realized that i lowkey hate my class and would’ve not enjoyed it had we all taken a grad trip together

such a first world problem tbh. but I paid for my trip myself! It’s been a blast so far. In europe, last night went clubbing until 5am. No entrance fee, ID, didn’t even pay for my drinks.

Nevertheless, if you had one, I’d love to know what you did!! So curious.

4 girls, three of us are 18 and one is 17, but we're all born in the same year. How hard would it be to sneak 1 girl in the clubs? Or would they just let us in if we're good looking enough??

The 17 year old looks the oldest out of all of us, so does that help? And it matter if we're in a group setting with the majority of us being 18? Or should we look for alternatives.

Thanks!

Just curious since I get so much “aw you poor thing” or people assuming i’m dumb just for not going into sciences. Then the same people turn around and start reading a book, watching tv or award winning films or listening to their favourite music. And that’s just for pure arts.

i just think it’s rather unfortunate. And selfishly, I hate having to justify myself and overcompensate for choosing not to go into the sciences.

I am intelligent, 95+ average, nominated for valedictorian, awarded the school scholarship for all i’ve contributed for, yet people still look down on me.

I got accepted into both UofT and McGill within a couple hours of their admissions opening, and people are genuinely so impressed until they ask the follow-up: “what are you majoring in?”. They physically deflate and say “Oh” every. single. time. when it’s an arts/humanities thing. Students and adults alike. Like anyone can get into mcgill or uoft for arts and it’s not impressive. Totally undermining of all the effort, time, passion, and excitement for us.

It’s just upsetting and I doubt any of the classic reddit CS Eng Waterloo students will automatically relate, but try to understand. And don’t automatically toss aside or look down upon your fellow arts students and friends.

Arts, humanities, social sciences, are all culture, and culture shapes and defines the world. I’m not saying it should be more prioritized or “better” than anything else, but honestly, don’t take it for granted.

If you’re gonna be an art hater, then commit to it and get off social media, stop reading, stop listening to music, watching tv or movies, stop community involvement and socialization, stop having true crime or political hobbies, genuinely like don’t do anything that’s fun ever. okay that’s so dramatic, i know, but i’m fed up.

people really think arts students are going nowhere and will end up as broke mcdonald’s workers, but our wntire culture—everything that is worth living for—is created or defined by arts and the product of it. There should be just a little more respect

looking for something to do soon, ideally an experience that creates a memory rather than a material thing. Even better if it’s budget friendly.

also, if anyone can recommend any good Gluten Free deserts or restaurants, that would be amazing :)

thanks!!

I’m about to graduate, and have been writing letters to all my favourite teachers. One of them was an elementary school teacher, whom I had to email since he doesn’t work as a teacher anymore(??)

It was albeit a very long message filled with thanks and some of my favourite memories from his class, and I shared some of the most recent projects I had just completed because I thought he’d find them super hilarious and he taught the same subject.

I was afraid I came off too friendly, but i’m friendly by nature, and kept the wording professional and lighthearted.

Since then, he’s emailed me back twice. Immediately, his wording lacks some proper spelling and grammar and formality, but he’s always been that kind of teacher anyway. He also explained how he recently got diagnosed with autism, and was updating me a little on what he’s up to now that he’s no longer a teacher. He said he’d love to come to my graduation and perhaps have a conversation with my parents (not super uncommon for where i’m from, plus my parents are teachers too)

He also shared a couple of his new projects and gave me an update on his dog that I could “maybe meet”?? It’s all very cool, i just don’t want him to think I want to be pen pals and stuff. It’s just awkward since he was my teacher for a couple years, many years ago.

Is this weird to anyone else, beyond being slightly friendlier than normal (which he’s always been to everyone regardless of age or whatever)?

I don’t want to not-reply, but I don’t want to reply either. I respect him a lot and he impacted my life a lot but I feel uneasy. Not sure what to do.

(17F) Just recently discovered that the girl (first real crush) my male twin likes a girl who quite literally is a female counterpart of the guys i’ve liked in the past. To the point where I started questioning my sexuality after noticing her existenc (soon realized I don’t like her like that lol).

We’ve had crushes on people with the same hair colour, eye colour, personality, bizarre or unique traits, and so on. The only difference beside gender is that he seems to like a girl who is shy at first then gets more extroverted once comfortable, whereas for me I prefer guys who are more extroverted in general, yet get bashful or shy as I get to know more about them.

But it’s very interesting, and I guess it makes sense. Is it safe to assume this is common among twins?

My dad's a diehard fan of LFC and has been since 1966, so there's been no "other choice" for me on who to support when watching PL football growing up. That being said, I've found myself rather taken with WHUFC recently. I've already visited the FAQ on this sub, and conducted some (very preliminary) research, yet I still remain pretty clueless.

General questions for those willing to be kind enough to answer (I know I could Google a lot of these, but I'd rather hear from real supporters) :

1. what should I expect from being a hammer/what is the expectation of hammers in general?
2. how can I become more committed to West Ham? I'd love to become a lifelong die-hard fan the way my dad is with liverpool, but I'm lowkey canadian (my dad was a british immigrant) and unsure where/how to get started
3. What is the best way to stay involved, as I am Canadian by nationality?
4. how do other team fans react to hammers?
5. what is the general emotional state of the average hammer?
6. is it hard not winning all the time, or is that part of the fun? I personally think its the latter, but its good to know what others think!
7. is there anything I MUST know to be considered a hammer/any "mandatory rules" to follow?

any general WHUFC information you'd like to ramble on about/share, by all means, go ahead!

Please be patient with me. I realize I sound very incompetent, but I am coming from a place of reliance on my dad regarding FC knowledge. I love him very much, but I would like to support my own team!

This doesn’t really analyze lyrics itself; i’ll do that when i have more time. this is just the overall vibes and sound I get from each album!

We start with Leaflings. I originally didn’t want to include it because it’s not an album and doesn’t really follow the ascension-progression path i see, but It sets the scene so perfectly. It’s just so forest-y right off the bat. “Hidden deep in the middle of the woods” vibe, with lots of flora and fauna. Deers and crunchy leaves and the colour brown. Very quiet, secluded, and peacefully eerie. You’d think nothing of it, but then ZABA comes along.

So This is where the real progression starts: Zaba. I imagine, covered beneath the moss bed, twig and leaf grounds of Leaflings, is dirt. Underground networks and tunnels and secret societies all full of tiny shadowed critters likes moles and the pesky ones like snakes. This is where the dirty business happens. The scheming and cunning critters of the earth hide within the earth, and its all dark. Not only this, but there are sometimes gems. sparkly little jewels that are rare and help fund the underground activities. These jewels also appear in the sound of the album. Bits and bobs of really unique sfx and moments that shine over the rest of the muddy, jungle-like tone.

After, the ascent continues onto HTBAHB. We are no longer underground or hidden or critters. We are in plain sight and evolving into humans. Nothing special but our everyday lives, embodied by HTBAHB’s songs itself. Ordinary, down to earth people and problems and activities. The keyword is that is ON the ground now. Not under. Not above. Although complex in the way that life is confusing, it’s not rare or ethereal or anything fancy. Just life itself (haha)

And thus, we ascend further. Dreamland as a whole feels like a hot air balloon ride. Still somewhat tethered to the ground, but floating amongst the clouds. Wincing from the sunlight, and seeing nothing but blue skies. The down-to-earth grubbiness and complexity. We are stuck in our own minds and isolated in our dreams. Very ethereal and airy. Like a thought that comes in one ear and exits out the other. The essence of daydreaming or a letter in a bottle. I would almost even compare it to being lost at sea, but the sea is too grounding and heavy for this album.

And finally, ILYSFM. The final stage, where instead of being still tethered, were far gone Into outer space. Floating in space. No one and nothing but our memories of what once was. It’s dark but not claustrophobic the way ZABA is. It’s sort of techno sounding, reminding me of how technologically advanced we have to be to send people into outer space, in these insanely detailed spaceships. Its roomy and empty, yet your personal life fills up the space. It reminds me a lot of the Hail Mary movie. And although i’m exaggerating, this album really does sound like it’s from out of this world. The sounds are unusual and feel too advanced for our current lifestyle (HTBAHB).

Now that i’ve discussed how i feel about Space, I wanted to talk about time.

I feel the same way about the time. This ascent of course happens following the timeline of each albums age. leaflings/Zaba being the oldest, ILYSFM being the youngest. leaflings/Zaba gives off the clunkiest, least-modern, cavemen, PRIMITIVE sounding albums, which slowly evolve into more “modern” sounding music, peaking at Dreamland, where it sounds the most like typical pop. And that’s why ilysfm seems advanced to me, because it reaches past that typical pop in a more techy way. I’m specifically talking about the bridge in Airlock. Looooove that!

Has anyone else noticed this clearly defined kind of progression/evolution? It really makes me wonder if:

1. GA wrote these albums with that in mind (i doubt it)
2. their next album will somehow add onto this! But i don’t know what it would be. Something celestial or galactic or multi-dimensional feeling, perhaps where we feel like aliens ourselves rather than humans stuck in space. If not, I really like the idea of an ocean themed album!

anyway, let me know what you all think! This has been on my mind for literal years but none of my friends listen to GA, so I had no one to share with. I hope this doesn’t sound out of my mind bizarre or like i completely missed the point of each album. I’ll probably edit this a couple times over the next few days as I reread it and realize I could word it better.

only just realized my favourite thing to learn about hasn’t necessarily been history, but strategy. Battle of Trafalger, Yi Sun Sim and turtle boats, Vimy Ridge, Alexander the Great’s invasion of Persia. Wow. absolutely thrilling and captivating.

Anything like that here? Or similar, even if not explicitly history/strategy related? Not sure what to make of this newfound interest. Cant see myself succeeding in the army unfortunately.

i think i need to get off social media it’s genuinely making me depressed about getting married/being in a relationship by constantly showing me reels where wives have no lives or hobbies outside of being a “mom”, their husbands have weaponized incompetence and take advantage of them, and they’re constantly overworked, overlooked, stressed, not taken care of, ignored, tired, priorizinf everyone but themselves, and still criticized.

and i’m so serious like it’s affecting me so much daily and making me feel like my future is hopeless and gonna suck compared to my brother and to guys in general and im just gonna hate myself and my life and my husband.

and i don’t really have the mindset “date to marry” but i don’t even consider dating guys i wouldn’t consider marrying or at least having a commitment with and considering the fact that i haven’t dated anyone even though (—not to toot my own horn, just to prove my point—) ive had many options to. and really just reinforces either my screwed mindset on guys, or their screwed behaviour

all i want is to be happy. why is the patriarchy ruining my life. is this actually avoidable? my mom is off work right now due to medical leave and is a full on housewife and she doesn’t rest and barely respects herself. i hate to see it. i don’t know what to do.

and the internet is just fueling this abusive lifestyle; moms are using posting as outlet to vent these feelings and relate with millions of other moms so it’s a common problem. and young boys and girls are being fed misogynistic and sexist information and content without even realizing it and it’s changing how the think and act in real time to cater to that.

it makes me feel so so so so so hopeless about the future and whether or not i should continue.

i want kids. i want a family. i want a husband. i want balance. i don’t want someone doing everything for me. i don’t want to be doing everything. i don’t want to be in full control or charge of everything. i don’t want someone controlling me. i would please like harmony and balance. matched equality, respect, and effort between gender roles (and that is the definition of feminism.)

it’s genuinely gotten to a point where i don’t believe healthy marriages exist. it’s already hard because my parents never fully had one and are now divorced. (but my dad doesn’t act like guys these days do, and my parents aren’t my issue, just some context.)

am i done for ?

should i just give into the patriarchy? i think id be a lot happier. i’m just setting myself up for a life of doom. i can’t reset the system. and i feel like fighting for “my cause” would alienate me from (the patriarchal) society and from most guys these days, which might be for the best, but then the guys that are left over are performative or have mommy issues.

and that’s my next issue: social media has tricked EVERYONE and me into thinking that guys that respect women, defend them, participate in typically femine crafts and hobbies are “performative” or FAKE. as if guys like that don’t actually exist. which my whole point is that i’m starting to believe they don’t.

and everyone blames every problem on women/girls. and social media has made it a trend for girls to do the same to themselves. “girl math” “i’m just a girl” FUCK THAT absolutely FUCK it. are we in 2nd grade where boys tell you that you “run/throw like a girl”? because also, why were they doing that anyway?

it’s all propaganda on so many levels and i can’t stand it. no one is fucking seeing this shit. i can’t live in this world what can i even do

rumours spread fast this week and she’s now ranting in the gc saying she never said it and said a guy’s nickname that our teacher calls him but that it was misheard (“Nickeroo” for Nick). Under this instance I believe she’s telling the truth, but in general I dont. She’s been calling this guy Nicky with G’s instead of the “ck” and often has done a lot to borderline say it. I’m fairly certain I overheard her say the full thing once a couple years ago. I’ve always had issues with her doing this stuff but honestly never really did anything about it beyond telling her not do to that a couple times. That’s my bad.

Her, our other friend (let’s call her “Anna”) and I have plans to get ready for prom + sleep over after next week. But ANOTHER close friend (“Olivia”) took me aside today to tell me the rumours and that she just wanted to let me know so i don’t mistakenly hang out with that girl and associate myself with someone who says the N word.

This puts me in a pickle. This situation made me realize how dumb I’ve been for not taking more serious action, and that i’m part of the problem for “letting“ her continue. I really want to confront and distance myself from the girl until she realizes that none of this is funny and she’s being blatantly rude, disrespectful, and even worse for denying it all, but I know Anna would never do anything that doesn’t prioritize group peace and comfort, even though she equally agrees with me.

Also prom; the plans were made at the OG girl’s house and we are unable to do it anywhere else. I also feel like considering i’ve told this girl a couple times to stop saying it and she’s continued, it’s really beyond me at this point and if I confront her I ruin our friendship of like a dozen years.

Do I want to be friends with a racist person? Absolutely not.

Do I wish she could stop being so fucking dumb? Absolutely.

Do I think she will stop? Probably not soon. Especially with the borderline jokes and nicknames

Will I be outcast from this friendgroup for taking things “too seriously”, especially if she’s been denying these allegations and ofc no one wants to go against their friends?? Yes. Highly likely.

Are they good friends? Absolutely. In general: Amazing, supportive, kind, inclusive people, I really honestly do not want to give up. But this bad habit has got to stop.

I hope this made sense i really don’t know what to do :(

UPDATE: I talked to Anna, who is in total agreement with me. I then confronted the girl and she replied pretty decently and thoroughly at first. I was satisfied. then the conversation went on and her second reply just totallly lost the plot. It was multiple texts zeroed in on how i shouldn’t care about “social status” because highschool ends in a month.

what in the absolute world??!

So i confronted her again. And she apologized and it seemed legit. But i really don’t think she’s gonna learn anything in the long run. As she said, highschool is over in a month. If she doesn’t get her act together asap & highkey apologize to everyone then our friendship is done. Kind of sucks since we’ve known eachother for 13 years. But I don’t want to surround myself with people like that anyway.

For those of you in the comments who claim saying the N word isn’t bad on its own; kindly educate yourself. Its also just SO easy NOT to use.

Just curious. i’ve been learning Forkner and it’s fun, but I’m not super natural at cursive so that’s already a little big of a learning curve. but with some others i briefly tried out before choosing forkner, i realized it was optimized for right handed people. I’ve even started practicing forkner with my right hand.

This post feels all over the place, but overall, i’d like input on what would feel the smoothest while writing left handed!

Thanks

TLDR: my twin (M) + I (F) have the same type, I’m kind of crushing on his crush (F)?? Or am i

i just think it’s so funny. I’m a teen girl with a twin brother. we never really talked about crushes or anything personal as we grew up.

Only recently have we gotten closer and i found out he liked a girl. Super surprising to me since my entire life he’s never hinted at being interested in anyone (baffling to me and the 30494 boys i’ve secretly liked). So ive always been curious about the type of person he’d like and whether or not we’d like the same things.

long story short I somehow have recently (accidentally) become friends-ish with his crush, and she’s exactly the kind of people I’ve crushed on in the past (visually+personality), just a girl. This is absolutely hilarious to me but i’m scared to bring it up with my twin. Doesn’t really matter tho.

It’s kind of crazy. like i’ve known this girl for years at my school but forgot about her too. She’s totally different from when i first met her years ago. And idk if it’s a twin competitive thing but she’s so attractive to me. and im lowkey proud of my twin bro bc he doesn’t have shit teenage boy taste. this woman is smart, athletic, funny, and very pretty. she has this rare shyness and awkwardness about her that isn’t performative or over the top. very alluring. but is it js bc I know my brother likes her and i’m nosy as fuck???

Kind of a rant because I had a dream last night where she told me she was Bisexual among other things. We’re not even close enough to be friends yet. but i’m subconsciously hoping she’s into me i guess. I hate this?

I feel kind of guilty because she’s my twin’s crush. and it’s not like i’m fully crushing on her— i really do think half of it is my competitiveness trying to prove to her that im the better twin, mixed with me being so curious for years about who his type would be, mixed with the fact that she seems like quite literally the girl version of my type.

But at the same time, i can objectively see that I dont like her that way (yet ?). im just so fascinated and curious by her and this whole thing that it feels like a crush. Im just so impressed by her and think she’s so cool. but there are a few things about her that I dislike in a romantic-interest way.

so im highkey jealous of my brother bc wtf i feel like i’m weird for wanting to be her friend AFTER finding out he likes her, and honestly i never would have noticed or cared enough to try befriending her if i hadn’t known he liked her (my original goal was to subtly wingman). but in the slight chance that i do end up crushing on her, what? what then? boyyyyyyy.

Very weird experience.