u/MexicanMonsterMash

I was watching a video about the topic of being called a compulsive liar, and someone in the video mentioned going to bed and dreaming that his lies were true every time he remembers dreaming. For example, he would always consistently tell people he had this really cool friend, and when dreaming, he'd be interacting with this really cool friend. Cue a meme meant to be funny about a couple of dots I connected that sparked this question.

https://preview.redd.it/oahaquks7pth1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=006d18c2f3cd083d3994ce8ce638567c1d672b5f

Well, there you go.

People often talk about "awareness" as an element of the experience, and so I was wondering about it when I saw it. Do you dream of the lies being true?

The default idea in peoples' minds tends to be "find those who talk about things at a regular pace, and treat those who don't want to talk as not wanting to be found". That, I imagine, makes being selectively mute lack the adhesive that allows social relations to stick. So then how do people who are selectively mute identify others who are adjusted towards the pretense of "find friends no matter how much they talk and look for the signs they appreciate you unless they gesture you away"?

The thought came to me because I was thinking of how the rules that exist while dreaming are different from the rules that exist in the waking world, and because SM is situational, it made be wonder if dreams posed a change of circumstance. How talkative are you in dreams?

Asking since I have an acquaintance who was driven to it because she lives in an honor culture with a large emphasis on being able to socialize, and so society punishes those who aren't skilled at knowing what to say in a conversation unless they lie about it.

"Hey there, how are you?"

"Oh good, my albino dog just had puppies on leap day and saved a guy from being struck by lightning while riding around on a unicycle."

"Oh that's so cool."

And then she encounters an unlimited amount of individuals who can see through what she says and assume that compulsive lying is something malicious.

There was this other guy who didn't tell a single lie until his teens out of fear, and then when an abuser forced him to lie about something, it began a rebound effect in him, and he spent the next decade compulsively lying.

And then there was another who got into compulsive lying because lying was his micro-obsession for a while and it stuck.

And no, I'm not lying about these people, though I didn't know them all personally. You can confirm I'm not lying if you can relate to one of them.

What was your reason?

There is someone I know who has long been suspected by others to be a compulsive liar. This is because she often speaks in extreme technicalities. To use an example, if she was eating a tomato sandwich while standing in the ocean and dropped the parts in she didn't want to eat, and someone then called her on the phone asking what she was doing, she'd say she was busy bathing in tomato soup (the main remedy if you were sprayed by a skunk). And then only after being pressed about it (upon discovering what was going on) would she clarify that the ocean is technically a soup, and she did drop a part of a single tomato in, so thus she could say she was bathing in tomato soup.

She even has a self-imposed rule about this when interacting with everyone, saying to everyone to expect everything to potentially be a technicality unless explicitly stated otherwise in the easiest possible language for others to understand. She says talking in "contractese" as she calls it is circumstantial for her but also apparently a good gateway out of compulsive lying if you're a compulsive liar (in a way where she's hinting at you-know-what), since it's a form of restraint unaffected by the addiction to lying. If you're wondering, she also gives two other tips for compulsive liars which is 1) to create a secret identity for themselves in which the compulsive liar only speaks the truth and then to immerse yourself in the persona so much that it becomes addicting enough that the urge to tell the truth prevails over you (oddly enough she has had to clarify she is not a number of people who have been accused of being her), and/or 2) to designate a sign that you're lying that can be affected by plausible deniability, like having your fingers crossed whenever you lie.

She nevertheless says the "contractese" is the closest she gets to lying and elaborates or maintains (depending on your perspective) that it's others' assumptions at work if they say she is actually lying, since there are no hard linguistic rules on how ordinary truth must sound before it's truth. Do any of you do this though?

I'll be elaborating more below.

Suppose you were to close your eyes and ruminate, and you dwelled on thinking of "if I got a free non-psychological wish from a genie, and it was granted, how would I feel", and you analyzed what you could envision yourself feeling if the wish was fulfilled. Which of these psychological phenomena does the resulting feeling seem like it might feel like?

Alexithymia: "My emotions are no longer automatic or instinctive; what I feel like what I should be feeling does not match how I feel I would end up feeling."

Helplessness: "My emotions, due to having been so much in my disfavor, are something a part of me wonders if I have (or might as well) subconsciously abandoned."

Dissociation: "I feel split into two halves, being a part of me that recognizes emotions are there and a part of me that is supposed to mentally register their existence in a reactive way, and the two halves aren't cueing each other."

(or is there a way you'd describe it that falls too outside of these?)

Was talking about this with someone when I brought up selective mutism. They never wanted relationships, just friends. But even that always required them to be talkative. Yet, unless it's something they're very versed in, they have trouble formulating the right words to say when in a conversation, especially if given an open question (and they make the point that something as mundane as "how are you" is an open question). This causes the conversations to wither before they can say something. And because the conversations wither, nobody is platonically drawn to them, since communication keeps it sticky. Some even assume they're an introvert because of this, and they have trouble finding people they can simply be silent with.

This has caused them to not have friends, save for friends they earned through clever methods of making friends, which is not ideal (and makes people question the friendship). These clever methods have never really been discussed though because they vary in success.

I ask this because the drive to not be lonely is particularly strong in people. We are social creatures. The person in question is said to have often not felt like working because they feel demotivated by their issues, which in turn makes any money they might earn to mean nothing to them, even if it's not great for, well, living. Obviously not wanting this, they get clever about it, which in turn raises more eyebrows. Have any of you done anything similar or felt similarly? What have you done?

I've used many AI, but a weakness I've noticed in them is that even though you can talk to it about things and even ask it to look up certain things, besides Grok, I don't know of any where you can give it a link to peer into so you can ask about what's in the link.

For example, if I went to ChatGPT and gave it the link to my profile somewhere and asked it to spot typos, it will say it can't do that, as it considers itself locked into the page used to access it. The only exception is Grok.

Grok is a feature exclusive to Twitter and Twitter culture, and I was wondering if there was an AI that can do what Grok does so I don't have to resort to it. There's a form of Grok that is made to be accessible without Twitter, but considering what Twitter just did with XCancel, I am not putting my eggs in that basket. Sources also tell me there are other AI that can do what Grok does that cost money, but I'm not in a position to spend money on anything online.

Anyone know of any AI that are both free and able to do what Grok does?

Is it comprehended differently for Spanish speakers? If so, in what way?

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I know someone with SM and felt a weird, unsettling kind of sadness to hear that she has spent more time crying in public than talking in public. Is this a usual thing?

Asking since someone I know has implied to me theirs actually seems to have gotten worse, and I thought it was one of those things that typically only gets better.

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