u/Minute_Ad4074

Hi everyone! I'm seeking legal counsel regarding my visa overstay to understand my options and make an informed decision on how to resolve it and return back to my home country.

Any recommendations for a good and affordable Immigration lawyer around Manila would be highly appreciated! Thanks

Hi everyone,

I'm a foreign national currently living in the Philippines. I'm currently in the process of resolving my immigration status by downgrading my student visa to a tourist visa, settling my overstay, and then returning to my home country.

Today, I received a missed call from an unknown number. About three minutes later, I received the following SMS:

"Hello, [Name Removed].

This is the Bureau of Immigration Police, Civil Security Unit.

You are one of our persons of interest for the violation of overstaying within the Republic of the Philippines without legal documentation.

This our first official warning notice before legal arrest will be made due to Overstaying in the Philippines which is illegal under Commonwealth Act No. 613 Section 37(a)(7).

You must submit a Notarized Letter of Explanation explaining why you overstayed. The Legal Division will review your passport and create a formal charge sheet or evaluation report.

It is highly recommended to retain an immigration lawyer or an accredited travel agency to review your case file, draft your notarized explanation letter, and represent or accompany you to the Legal Division.

You are given a grace period of 45 days before official arrest are made. Please bring your passport and visa to the BI Main Office located at Magallanes Drive, Intramuros, Manila then proceed to the Fourth Floor, Legal Division.

Please come by the BI Main Office to clarify if you have a valid visa as well within the given grace period.

Thank you."

Naturally, this alarmed me because it used my name and referred specifically to my immigration situation.

Before posting here, I contacted the Bureau of Immigration directly. I spoke with both the unit that handles overstays and someone from the Legal Division. They both told me that this does not match how they normally issue official notices. They explained that official notices would generally include identifying information such as a case number, authorized signatories, and other official details—not just an SMS like this.

I also tried calling the number that sent the message, but the call would not go through.

At this point, I'm simply trying to rule out what this is. I'm trying to determine whether:

this is a known scam targeting foreigners,

this is somehow a legitimate message despite what I was told by the Bureau of Immigration, or

someone who knows me personally is playing a very mean prank on me.

Has anyone here—especially other foreigners in the Philippines—ever received a message like this? If you have, what happened afterward? Did you confirm whether it was legitimate or a scam?

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar or have any idea what this is.

Good morning po!

I'm looking for recommendations for a doctor who specializes in PCOS or an OB-GYN that you've personally had a great experience with—someone who is thorough, takes the time to listen, and is knowledgeable about PCOS.

I live in Cavite, but I'm willing to travel to Manila if the doctor is worth it.

If you have any recommendations, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you so much! 😊

I (28F) worked remotely as a project manager for a U.S.-based company. I was managing around 30 clients while also leading a team of five virtual assistants. Eventually, I was promoted into another role where I was also expected to improve company processes, so my workload increased even more.

Despite the added responsibilities and fancy titles, I was making around $300/month. I originally started through an agency, so the pay made more sense in the beginning, but after being promoted multiple times, I expected the compensation to reflect the amount of responsibility I had. It never really did.

As time went on, I became completely overwhelmed. Clients were getting upset because I couldn't keep up with everything. I started receiving angry emails, and I knew I was dropping the ball. Whenever I brought up how overloaded I felt, I was mostly given advice on managing my time better rather than having my workload adjusted.

Eventually, I reached a point where I dreaded logging in every day. I felt anxious before work, stressed during work, and mentally exhausted after work.

One night, after another particularly overwhelming day, I just... didn't log in again.

I removed myself from the company's systems, blocked my managers and coworkers, and never contacted them again. I didn't give notice. I didn't send a resignation email. I completely disappeared.

Three months later, I found another remote job that pays several times more with a much more reasonable workload, and I've been doing really well there. My current employer seems happy with my performance, which makes me think the previous job simply wasn't sustainable for me.

That said, I know the way I left was incredibly unprofessional. I likely left my coworkers scrambling, probably burned that bridge forever, and I'm sure they'd give me a terrible reference if anyone asked.

I don't regret leaving the job itself, but I do wonder if I handled it in the worst possible way.

AITA?

I'm trying to better understand how Filipino men think when it comes to dating Black women. Specifically, I'm curious about what would stop a Filipino man from approaching a Black woman he genuinely finds attractive.

I'm a Black woman who's been living in the Philippines for almost 10 years.

One of the reasons I'm asking is because, from what I've observed, it's much more common to hear about foreign men dating or marrying Filipinas than it is to hear about Filipino men dating or marrying foreign women—especially Black women.

That doesn't mean it never happens. It's simply something I've noticed over the years, and it made me curious.

I've never had a serious relationship with a Filipino man. I briefly dated one for about a month, but it didn't work out because of cultural differences, the language barrier, and the fact that he was significantly younger.

I've also tried Facebook Dating and received plenty of matches and messages from Filipino men. However, I've often wondered whether they were genuinely interested in me as a potential partner or whether it was simply curiosity because I'm different.

I know lighter skin has long been a common beauty standard in the Philippines. I'm not trying to accuse anyone of being racist or start an argument. I'm simply interested in hearing honest perspectives.

If you're a Filipino man, and you genuinely found a Black woman attractive, what, if anything, would stop you from approaching or dating her? Would it be family expectations, cultural differences, fear of what others might think, personal preference, or something else?

Just to be clear, I'm not looking for a boyfriend or trying to meet anyone through this post. I'm simply curious and would love to hear honest perspectives from Filipino men.

Problem/Goal:

I'm trying to better understand how Filipino men think when it comes to dating Black women. Specifically, I'm curious about what would stop a Filipino man from approaching a Black woman he genuinely finds attractive.

Context:

I'm a Black woman who's been living in the Philippines for almost 10 years.

One of the reasons I'm asking is because, from what I've observed, it's much more common to hear about foreign men dating or marrying Filipinas than it is to hear about Filipino men dating or marrying foreign women—especially Black women.

That doesn't mean it never happens. It's just something I've noticed over the years, and it made me curious.

I've never had a serious relationship with a Filipino man. I briefly dated one for about a month, but it didn't work out because of cultural differences, language barrier and he was significantly younger.

I've also tried Facebook Dating and received plenty of matches and messages from Filipino men. However, I've often wondered whether they were genuinely interested in me as a potential partner or whether it was simply curiosity because I'm different.

I know lighter skin has long been a common beauty standard in the Philippines, and I'm not trying to accuse anyone of being racist or start an argument. I'm simply interested in hearing honest perspectives.

So if you're a Filipino man and you saw a Black woman you genuinely found attractive, what would go through your mind? Would you approach her? If not, what's stopping you?

Is it because:

You assume she wouldn't be interested in Filipino men?

You're worried about the language or cultural differences?

You'd feel intimidated because she's Black or a foreigner?

Or is it simply that Black women aren't your preference?

If you've approached or dated a Black woman before, I'd also love to hear about your experience.

Previous Attempts:

I've tried meeting Filipino men through Facebook Dating and have received quite a few matches, but it's hard to tell whether the interest is genuine or just curiosity. Rather than making assumptions, I thought I'd ask Filipino men directly and hear your honest perspectives.

I'm trying to plan ahead and would love to hear from people who have actually migrated to Australia recently.

I'm a single, child-free applicant and I've registered for the PEV (Pacific Engagement Visa), Subclass 192. I know there's no guarantee I'll be selected, but I'm someone who likes to prepare well in advance. If God answers this prayer, I don't want to be starting from zero financially.

Realistically, how much money should a single person have saved before moving to Australia?

I'm trying to budget for:

- Flights (from PNG to Aust)

- Initial accommodation (shared house or small rental)

- Food and groceries

- Public transport

- Basic household necessities

- Emergency buffer

- Living expenses for around 3–4 months while job hunting

I know it depends on the city, but I'd really appreciate hearing:

- Which city you moved to

- How much you arrived with

- Whether it was enough

- If you could do it again, how much would you recommend bringing?

I'm hoping to build a realistic savings goal rather than just relying on estimates I find online. Thanks in advance!

Essie frustrated me so much. I just can't understand loving someone so much that you completely disappear in the process.

What frustrated me the most wasn't even the polygamy. It was how completely okay she was with accepting crumbs. Crumbs of love. Crumbs of attention. Crumbs of respect. She never chose herself. Every decision she made revolved around Jonasi or Joyce, but never around her own dignity.

And the saddest part? Her children paid the price. They're the ones who suffered the most because she kept accepting a situation that benefited everyone except her.

People call her loyal. I don't.

That's not the kind of loyalty I want. I never want to be so loyal to someone who keeps choosing themselves and everyone else over me while I keep making them my number one. That's not devotion—that's self-abandonment.

I'm posting this on behalf of a neighbor because I honestly didn't know what advice to give her, and I'm curious how people in healthy, long-term relationships would approach this.

My neighbor is 35F and engaged to a 40-year-old man. They've been together for almost five years and share three children together (triplets).

To keep them anonymous, I'll leave out the countries involved, but they live in separate countries. He works overseas, while she lives and raises all three children in their home country. He visits a few times a year, but for most of the year she is effectively parenting alone.

She works full-time on the night shift while caring for three 4 year olds. They have a nanny to help, but she's still the one handling the school runs, doctor's appointments, sleepless nights, meals, routines, discipline, and everything else that comes with raising young children.

Her fiancé covers ALL of the family's expenses. He pays for the children's schooling, medical bills, groceries, household expenses, and anything else they need. He has always said that because he can't be there physically, his role is to provide financially.

Here's where she's conflicted.

She told him she was no longer working, but she actually still has her job. Since he's covering the family's expenses, she's been saving almost her entire paycheck. He doesn't know she's still earning an income or how much she's has saved.

She says part of her feels guilty because they're supposed to be building a life together, and she wonders whether she should be transparent about her income and savings.

At the same time, she feels like she's already carrying almost all of the physical and emotional labor of parenting. In her mind, he's contributing financially while she's contributing by raising the children almost entirely on her own, so she feels it's fair for him to shoulder the financial side while she keeps her earnings.

She also admitted she's started feeling resentful because, although he's a good provider, he most often times turns down video calls with the kids because he's tired or busy, which makes her feel even more alone in parenting.

So I'm curious...

How do couples in healthy, long-term relationships handle situations like this?

Should partners always disclose all of their income and savings to each other?

Is it reasonable for one partner to maintain some financial privacy?

When one partner carries most of the childcare and the other mainly contributes financially, what does "fair" actually look like?

I'd especially love to hear from couples who've made long-distance parenting work or who've had one parent carry most of the day-to-day responsibilities.

I'm posting this on behalf of a neighbor because I honestly didn't know what advice to give her, and I'm curious how people in healthy, long-term relationships would approach this.

My neighbor is 35F and engaged to a 40-year-old man. They've been together for almost five years and share three children together (triplets).

To keep them anonymous, I'll leave out the countries involved, but they live in separate countries. He works overseas, while she lives and raises all three children in their home country. He visits a few times a year, but for most of the year she is effectively parenting alone.

She works full-time on the night shift while caring for three 4 year olds. They have a nanny to help, but she's still the one handling the school runs, doctor's appointments, sleepless nights, meals, routines, discipline, and everything else that comes with raising young children.

Her fiancé covers ALL of the family's expenses. He pays for the children's schooling, medical bills, groceries, household expenses, and anything else they need. He has always said that because he can't be there physically, his role is to provide financially.

Here's where she's conflicted.

She told him she was no longer working, but she actually still has her job. Since he's covering the family's expenses, she's been saving almost her entire paycheck. He doesn't know she's still earning an income or how much she's has saved.

She says part of her feels guilty because they're supposed to be building a life together, and she wonders whether she should be transparent about her income and savings.

At the same time, she feels like she's already carrying almost all of the physical and emotional labor of parenting. In her mind, he's contributing financially while she's contributing by raising the children almost entirely on her own, so she feels it's fair for him to shoulder the financial side while she keeps her earnings.

She also admitted she's started feeling resentful because, although he's a good provider, he most often times turns down video calls with the kids because he's tired or busy, which makes her feel even more alone in parenting.

So I'm curious...

How do couples in healthy, long-term relationships handle situations like this?

Should partners always disclose all of their income and savings to each other?

Is it reasonable for one partner to maintain some financial privacy?

When one partner carries most of the childcare and the other mainly contributes financially, what does "fair" actually look like?

I'd especially love to hear from couples who've made long-distance parenting work or who've had one parent carry most of the day-to-day responsibilities.

I (28F) single and child-free have been friends with my best friend (mid-30sF) for almost 10 years. She has two young kids.

We’ve always been very close. I love her kids like my own — I visit them, talk to them on video calls, and I show up for birthdays, graduations, and special occasions even when I’m not financially comfortable. I genuinely care about them and our friendship.

Recently, I started a new job that pays better, and I’ve been trying to be more intentional with my money and save for some big life goals.

The issue is that when we hang out, the financial setup has always been very “split everything equally” — transport, food, outings, etc.

For example, if we book a ride that costs $100, she’ll suggest we split it 50/50, even though she is traveling with her two kids and sometimes a sitter. So effectively it’s 4 people on her side and just me on mine.

The same thing happens when we eat out — we split the bill evenly even though most of the food is for her kids, and I don’t really consume much of what’s ordered for them.

Lately, I’ve started feeling uncomfortable with this setup. Not because I don’t love spending time with them, but because financially it doesn’t make sense for me anymore, especially as I’m trying to save and plan for my future.

Because of that, I’ve been declining some of her invitations to go out (swimming, lunch, dinners, etc.), since I already know it will likely mean splitting all costs equally despite the imbalance in number of people.

I haven’t confronted her about it yet because I don’t want to hurt her feelings or damage our friendship, but I also don’t want to keep putting myself in a situation where I feel financially drained or taken for granted.

So I guess my question is:

AITA for not wanting to hang out anymore because I don’t want to keep splitting costs equally when she’s bringing her kids and sitter along?

When I was living pretty recklessly and doing nothing PCOS-friendly, I still got my periods. I might skip a month occasionally, but I'd usually get my period by the first week of the next month.

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Now, for the last month I've been consistently taking inositol (Moom brand), cut out sugar, switched to a high-protein, high-fiber diet, started walking regularly, and doing strength training. Ironically, my period has completely disappeared.

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My last period started on April 11, and I'm now on cycle day 70, about 30 days later than my usual cycle, with no period and definitely not pregnant.

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Has anyone else experienced their periods becoming more irregular or stopping after making positive lifestyle changes and taking inositol? What ended up happening?

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