u/MitchBaT93

We were what, 17 or 18, guys being guys and drinking the hell out of our teen years. There were other guys besides our normal friend group and they were serious assholes, that night was weird from the start. At some point I either fell asleep or just completely blanked, and the ONLY thing I can remember is one guys dick being dragged across my cheek, from the front and the tip casually touching my lips.

I was always a quiet guy, never made a lot of friends, always was a bit of an outsider, socially inept so I never made quite the right decisions in making friends or hanging out with people. Theh likely saw this and took the chance to be fucking psychopaths, because who the hell does that shit to another guy, when having a girlfriend.

In any case, my friends swore that nothing else happened and when they saw him start that shit they chased him off, but honestly, who knows what happened that night. Who else decided to have their way with me while I was drunk. I have so many issues that likely stem from that night, but I'll never be able to remember anything beyond that one moment that seared itself in my brain, from which I can't remember anything after either. Can't even remember how I got home either.

The conclusion this far that J have come to, is that the Archon War was not just a war for godhood, but who could best serve the curses Heavenly Principles placed upon Teyvat. The archons we're trying to protect humanity in the most blunt way possible, while also having a plan to ursup the heavenly principles eventually they were always working against them. And the answer is simple, truly, in how that works. And two fold.

First, granting visions. Ambition means progress, progress means advancing society and technology. Being a vision wielder is not a gift nor is it being a chosen person meant for ascension. It's a mark, that's why they're gods eyes. Fate is an illusion and a guidstone for the Heavenly Principles to swoop em up before they go too far and break the system he's built.

And SECOND, is how they conducted themselves with their laws. Or as we now know them as, curses. All have used their curses more or less against the heavenly principles in a way that totally abides within reason, which is why the heavens have not awakened yet. As long as everything is happening withjn the parameters of the curse, they are not doing anything wrong. Each and everyone of the archons is just doing what they're told, with their nations doing whatever the want. Whatever intervention exists, except for Fontaine obviously, is to keep things within those parameters. Like think about all the plotlines now like this:

- Venti gave Mondstadt freedom, they chose alcoholism and orgies and a laid back life style and by god do they enjoy it. He ensured they won't be cursed by progressing too far if they're just boozing it up all the time.

- Zhongli gave Liyue contracts, knowing the Adepti would be stern in giving control to the humans as well as ensuring they were never given Adepti technology to go too far in advancing civilization. His contract with the Tsaritsa likely also ensured that once the time comes, he can easily use Adepti technology without Ronova going genocidal on his people.

- Raiden, oh my this one is the real kicker. Gifted with the curse of eternity, she was the one who had to ensure her nation and Teyvat never went too far. Which is ironic, because visions are fueled by ambition and this means they are "gifted" with the curse of going too far for them to stay in Teyvat. Visions are not a divine choice, but a means to pick off anyone who would go too far, and Raiden likely knew this. If humans had no more visions, this means no one would truly know who would be going too far, and this means no one rallying behind someone to advance civilization.

-Nahida meanwhile chose her curse of knowledge, thus knowing the secrets of Teyvat, to let her people do what they must with said knowledge. Never giving them too much, never letting them get too far, but definitely giving them enough to piece things together, and wrestle their fate away from the Heavenly Principles.

- The curse of justice for Fontaine is also obvious, the more life there is the more oceanids are created. The more oceanids, the more the nation floods. The more it floods, the more civilization is hindered in Fontaine, as justice is meted out to the people of Fontaine. And yet this same curse was a judgement for the heavens as well, which means slowly civilization can crawl forward as justice has been served and their fate is free from the heavens, now under the rule of a sovereign.

- The curse of war for Natlan is simple. People keep dying, and keep defending the homeland. They can never truly progress as they are always defending their nation. Mavuika broke the cycle, in the sense that having a human archon meant they will always see a new one ascend, which means they are always progressing towards ascension to the divine, and not progressing to a higher form of civilization. With a war to battle, the focus is always on how to defend against the abyss. With Mavuika being the first archon to exist for so long AND with Natlan experiencing the first life long peace in eons, she used the cursed to break free from the cycle through sheet human determination.

Now that I established the perspective I'm taking all of the events of each storyline under, we can explore the possible final stretch. Basically, the abyss twin found this out. This is why she sided with the abyss. Teyvat cannot functionally progress nor can humanity escape it's prison without the abyss. Teyvat needs it like it also needs Khaenriah, the only nation free from the heavens. To escape the samsara and for a new dawn to happen, she knows damn well what the archons are trying to do, and likely wants to show the Traveler to give him a choice. Does he choose to side with Teyvat free from the HP while risking total annihilation from the abyss, or side with his sister and Khaenriah to bring the abyss into Teyvat to combat it and fuel the nations with a common enemy? That's where I'm thinking it heading. But also, this shows that the archons are actively working towards a solution since the archon war, and as Venti and Zhongli are the eldest, with Raiden close behind, the stuff they've been doing kn the down low ensure the younger ones also know how to move forward.

I don't mean small in a petty way, but an unlovable sort of way. Like there's truly something fucked within me. I have friends who love me. 20 year life long stuff. Who come and go, who've stayed, who are always there. Parents that love me. Girlfriends too, of a sort. But J can't help but feel unlovable.

My demons are a hell of my own making, maybe trauma? Therapist can't find it yet. But I truly am just utterly fucked. My demons just cannot stand being loved, they push people away because love feels like an attack. They know I trust too much and care too deeply to accept love that is just as deep as mine for my own people because they want to be alone. They don't know people can't do things alone and community is everything, but they don't want to disappoint the love people have for me. They know they'll fail at some point and yet people still help me and it drives them insane. They can't trust kindness because of the betrayal that can come with it.

And when they receive love? They bite, they lash out, they find ways to push people away because it's safer to be alone. To not have a duty to anyone. Loving myself is impossible sometimes because they do the same to me too. They know that if I get too far or too close or too high up in life, I'll destroy it eventually. The more people look up to you the harder the crash, the worse the damage, the inevitable destruction of it all will be too much for people to handle so it's better to stay small and risk people getting their hopes up. Or trusting me.

I know my patterns, I know the feeling of unworthiness is utter nonsense, but how can J build something when the only thing that leads to is suffering?

I have an on and off situation with someone. We're in our off phase again, but something is different this time. Not final, just different. Maybe the heartbreak got to me and finally my brain decided to snap, but I ran into her 3 times the last 10 days. She lives near me so that's not too wild, but like we could be together for months and not once see each other on the street. But whenever I'm missing her the most, whenever my heart is just screaming for relief, there she js. It's always when I'm thinking of her the strongest I have ever thunk.

So yeah. Either I'm batshit insane and seeing signs out of nothing, or I'm manifesting shit with her and it's like a car ignition that keeps sputtering everytime you turn it, things aren't quite there for the ignition spark to catch fire.

The next reactions in Snezh are star related. Their fates were altered was teased for the buffs in 6.7. the ignition trailer talks about reigniting shit. His star is fading but will be reignited, HENCE he will get whatever the star related visions are. It's that simple.

If you listen to other guys about dating and what women want, you'll always be acting in a relationship because you're acting how a guy should in a relationship, and not being yourself which is what she wants. If you're a manager and managing your bosses needs and not your workers, the work that'll be done is always going to be poorer than the work you'll get if your team knows you have their back. If you're doing said work for a manger who's clearly more experienced trying to satisfy their standards instead of satisfying your satisfaction of the work you put out, you'll never understand the progress you make. If you keep being a good friend without being good to yourself first, you'll keep making friendships that clearly don't have your well being in mind as well cause theyll never know what that looks like.

I don't know if this all makes sense but externalizing everything just makes for a bad time.