u/No-Confection-4431

I’m looking for:

Handwritten “to-do” list
Tasks that be categorized
A “master list” where all tasks, regardless of date, stay compiled together but can either be sorted (today, tomorrow, next week, future) or manually moved up or down
iPad friendly

Ideally:
iCal syncing
Part of a journaling app
Daily/weekly view
Ability to add notes to a task that are collapsible, so only the main task name is automatically displayed

Hi! I have a pit mix (pit, cane corso, presa) that is approximately 12 months old and a little over 80 lbs. I need to wait a few more months to get her fixed, per vet instructions, due to her expected size.

Anyways- she’s already had self-regulation issues the last 4 months since I adopted her (although she’s making progress!), likely due to neglect and being severely underweight (I got her at 50 lbs in April). It manifests as not being able to self-soothe, not napping unless crated, and a TON of mouthing and barking as she gets overstimulated and exhausted. I’m working with a trainer, but she’s been recovering from survival mode and so it’s slow progress.

Now she’s in heat (a little over a week since bleeding began) and REFUSING to go in her crate, which I’ve read is normal. She wants to be super close to me, which I would love EXCEPT she goes from chewing toys/bones to mouthing- the only way I’ve gotten her to sleep is by trying to bribe her into the crate for a few hours and her just falling asleep while refusing to go in. But losing 3 hours of my evening while she yells is… stressful. She’s highly food motivated but NOTHING I put in that crate trumps her unwillingness.

I’ve got dark rooms, constant white noise and/or soft classical music playing, she’s on clonidine 2x/day, and I can visibly see she’s exhausted.

What should I be doing here? I feel so bad for both of us.

After a 20 minute long chat support conversation (where the guy took SO long in between useless responses) he claims that only employees that handle calls for ADT have access to an address of where I can send a letter? That agents on the chat support don’t have access to that? An ADDRESS for THE COMPANY YOU WORK FOR????

My contract says I need to send a letter ( “Notice of Dispute” ), to allow them time to find a resolution, prior to initiating arbitration.

He only said that after about 4 times of me asking for the address after responding that he’ll share my feedback and address my concerns.

Right, I’m sure lol

I am taking 4 days off this upcoming week from work because I am truly at my wits end.

I don’t have a ton of spare money, and I definitely am looking forward to having time to take care of my house (and hopefully find some systems to help with overstimulation and cleaning) and work on crafts that help reduce the spiraling thoughts. Try to get back to (and improve) taking care of myself.

BUT

I haven’t had an actual vacation in over 6 years.

I have pretty awful fear of being perceived, but would really like to feel like I took an actual vacation by the time i go back. I don’t want to just have drained half of my PTO without some sort of “yay! I experienced that!” to look back on for it.

What are some mini-outings/experiences you all could recommend to help satisfy that “feeling” of trying new things/going new places without having to hop on a plane? Note that I have an anxious rescue dog, so it couldn’t be anything that is longer than what a typical workday would be.

On the off chance that anyone /has/ to remove a bird nest for whatever reason… shoot me a message? 😂

I’ve always looked up to my dad for his logic and wisdom. He’s always had a healthy amount of skepticism for corruption in healthcare, government, etc. which I support and have myself (checking sources and asking “who benefits from this” is always a smart thing, in my mind- especially nowadays).

But- a combination of MASSIVE chatGPT usage, a skewing algorithm, and his skepticism going so far beyond healthy levels that it seems like ANY content that suggests they are selling/teaching something that big pharma, the government, etc is conspiring to hide- he just blindly accepts as fact. I do, after hearing the proposed facts, research them to find out if I was mistaken and at best find there may be a grain of truth but that it was spun wildly out of proportion or context.

Interestingly, this has been occurring over the last year almost simultaneously with him refusing to check on the news, specifically politics. It’s strange, to me, because most of the institutions he feels are harming society are directly tied to politics. He’s been a vocally left-leaning person for at least 2 decades but now would probably identify as apolitical.

It’s making it hard to have positive interactions, because these topics permeate every conversation and he gets annoyed when I don’t accept his recommendations or eagerly agree with his beliefs.

He’s investing a ton of money he doesn’t necessarily have into a “wellness” program that has nothing but data disproving it and is wanting to quit his job to do that for a living, he’s stopping medications because he believes doctors only prescribe them for profit, has started to encourage my mom’s HIGHLY concerning beliefs (hearing voices, having ghost hunting groups visit the house, knowing what nature is feeling) by giving her an “out” from taking bipolar medications/buying her equipment to communicate with spirits/using his “wellness” program that results in her “alter ego” coming out (complete with a different name and voice)and I just… can’t.

I work in science and have sent him multiple studies going against something (along with my TLDR summary) or reviewing what he sends me and identifying the unreliable experimental designs/analysis- and he gets angry.

I initially tried to just “ooo that’s interesting”, but that did not work out.

He now talks to Gemini far more than he responds to me, he has no friends that he regularly communicates with, and he has been my primary support system the last few years as I dealt with autistic burnout and suicidal ideation. Now I can’t turn to him because he pushes things like drinking methylene blue and something that literally makes people shit their pants, or gets upset with me that the reason his attempts at using his wellness therapy on me aren’t working because I’m just not willing to believe in it. And I can’t vent about upsetting political news, or pretty much anything that makes him feel upset- he claims he’s in a much healthier place now but from my perspective is just avoiding all negative triggers while somehow also becoming a less tolerant person.

So far it seems like it’s mainly MAHA stuff that’s gotten into his feeds, but I’m worried that it’s going to lead to things that will negatively influence how he views social rights.

I’m sure I’m not the only person experiencing this (maybe not the mom thing, that’s a whole other can of worms)- can anyone relate or have methods of maneuvering?

TLDR; parent is being misled by AI and clickbait, lost discernment in consuming information online, and it’s causing me to want to avoid interactions because it upsets him that I do not encourage his new (verifiably inaccurate) stances- which are brought up ALL of the time. Concerned for outcome of his financial, physical, and mental health due to information he’s accepting as fact without verifying credibility. Looking for others experiencing the same

I just finished Because I Killed Him, and there were moments in it that my chest genuinely ached from the yearning and growing relationship. I’ve read about 80 books over the last few years- almost exclusively Romantasy- but few give me that feeling.

I believe another one was Duskbound.

I don’t just want INTENSE PASSION, I want insecurities on both sides, noticing small details about each other, and communication.

Also- I was a huge fan of how the author of Because I Killed Him kind of walked us through the FMC’s internal struggles with things like forgiveness.

I’ve done SO many enemies to lovers- I’m not opposed to more, but definitely eager for other tropes.

I’m also 100% cool with the typical shadow daddy, but I love a good golden retriever/genuinely funny MMC (I loved Grey from The Female).

Also Maggie Sunseri’s books are a top tier for me, if that helps!

Hi! I haven’t been able to find swatches for this product, so any help is appreciated!

Hello! Recently diagnosed!

So I have had depression since I was around 11 (am now 32). I also finally was diagnosed with PMDD about 3 years ago (cyclical SSRI use changed everything!) and was diagnosed with ASD last week.

I’m now wondering if there are things that I may have been chalking up to having been depressed for so long that could potentially be at least partially due to autism.

For example: I have brushed my teeth every weekday for a year now, and am working on brushing during the weekends. Up until a year ago, I had trouble brushing them maybe 3/7 days each week. I assumed it was because of depression, especially having it during those formative years when most people are getting into the swing of personal hygiene.

Does anyone have any things like that to share that I can hopefully relate to and ideally find ways to improve or give grace?

Hello!

I am considering being a surrogate for an acquaintance.

I am NOT concerned about getting attached to the child, and my previous pregnancy/birth was overall pretty easy (horrible morning sickness for several months, no real discomfort until about 2 weeks prior to delivery, and then the delivery took about a day but only consisted of 4 pushes).

I think my main concern is that I’m currently constantly stressed from things that ultimately stem from finances and lack of time to work on things- so I’m nervous that pregnancy would be too much.

HOWEVER- I’d obviously get a (to me) huge financial relief from being a surrogate, coupled with several months of paid maternity leave. So theoretically almost all of the things I’m stressed about currently could be solved by doing this? I’d be able to fix some problems with my house, have time to catch up on projects and organization, and pay to have my rescue boarded for training, have a savings account finally, and maybe take my first l vacation in 7 years.

My daughter is in middle school and at the age where she doesn’t require much more than emotional support/attention.

A huge part of me is thinking “this is such an obvious choice” but a small part is wondering if I’m overlooking something that could massively cause me to be miserable?

Any input is appreciated!

Hello!

So I talked to HR to make sure that, on their end, I would be able to go hybrid because I am only in the lab maybe 3-10 hours a week. They fully support it, provided me with their policy (which specifically encourages it for those who fall within the requirements- aka, me).

I have a new boss who started a few months ago, and my initial ask was for me to WFH from around 1:30. I typically leave work at 3:30.

He hasn’t said “no”, but seems extremely caught up with the optics for the rest of the team and other departments. He said, in his experience, team members tend to get jealous (mind you- we have always been a pretty flexible team and people WFH when they have things they need to take care of like home repair appointments). He’s also concerned about people feeling that I’m getting special treatment- but I am the only person in the company with my job title, so it’s not like I’m the only one out of 10 others that would be doing it.

He also is wanting me to meticulously document everything I do while at home- but would not require that for the rest of the team when they occasionally WFH.

I’ve sent him the policy (which no one I’ve talked to was aware we had, actually). Also one of the first things the higher ranking members told him when he first started is that they know we are reliable people and never have to question that we get our jobs done.

How am I supposed to go about this? It’s not just a “want” on my end- it would save me several hundreds of dollars a month on childcare by being able to take my lunch to pick up my kid and then clock in to WFH after getting home. I have an extremely good rapport with his boss, but I dont know if or when that is the route to take. How would you handle it? It just seems like he’s making a lot of assumptions without reaching out to the various people that could confirm or deny is concerns

Hello!

I already have to save recs to my TBR and then completely forget about them before reading if I heard any key plot point 😂

One of my big pet peeves (that I’m sure is a “me problem”) is that I hate that I can point out the love interest within the first introduction. Between their oddly specific scents, the “hint of a smile”, them doing something awful and the FMC noticing their “bulging muscles” in the middle of it…

I mean I still devour those books, but I would love to be either shocked or just not sure if that’s just a decoy until someone better comes along (*cough* Dorian *cough*) and then fall for them at the same speed the main character does.

I am absolutely cool with dark Romantasy, but I do loveeeee a golden retriever or extremely funny (not just sarcastic) love interest!

Hi! I live in Winston but didn’t have much luck on that subreddit.

I have a 9 month cane corso mix rescue who is terrified of cars, so I need to have a trainer who does in-home sessions (while I work on getting her confident with the car in the meantime).

Less expensive is obviously better, especially since the little gremlin has already instigated needing a 6 ft fence upgrade, but I will take all suggestions.

I DO NOT want any e-collars or anything other than positive reinforcement. My last dog had severe anxiety and I don’t want this dog to have her life limited in such a drastic way if she reacts poorly to other training styles and gets increased anxiety.

Hello!

I am on a very tight time crunch for getting a pretty large bush taken down from my yard along the existing fence line , so I can get a taller fence installed next week. My puppy just officially jumped the current one this morning, and I have no idea how to handle a chainsaw.

Are there people/companies that do this kind of thing with short notice and for fairly cheap?

Hi! I (31F) am a single mom to an 11 year old girl. She’s been going to the same school since 1st grade, where she is typically the only white student in her classes.

The issue I’m running into is that my daughter really doesn’t understand where the lines are of what’s appropriate for her to say vs her friends. Some things were blatantly obvious to me as being wrong, and I was able to explain why her friends are allowed to say certain phrases to each other, but that even with good intentions she cannot.

Some things are more confusing to me, like how she unintentionally speaks with a form of (what I guess would be called?) a Black dialect when she’s excited or feeling confident and happy. I don’t know if it’s okay because she genuinely picked it up over the years, in the same way I picked up a Southern accent after moving here? It makes sense that she would, like most kids, be a sponge. Or if that isn’t okay at all, and I should have stepped in at a younger age and address it now?

I love seeing her be herself, I just don’t want her to unintentionally be disrespectful thanks to my ignorance. I know that /because/ I recognize I am ignorant to a lot of things, I can overshoot my attempt at being an ally sometimes and completely miss the mark.

Hello! I (kind of unintentionally) adopted what is likely a giant breed mix. She is 9 months, possibly a Great Dane or mastiff mix. While she is SEVERELY underweight currently at 55 lbs (healthy would be around 75-80), she is definitely already the size of a fairly large grown dog.

SO her stepping on my face in bed is, while expected for a puppy, not a great experience. Her mouthing when overly tired or overly excited is also pretty painful.

While I am researching, do any of you have specific tips or advice for training a giant breed- I’m not sure if her age/previous neglect might negate some of the ideal training advice I’ve seen or not. I know that not getting her properly trained now is just asking for both of us to suffer later when she is well over 100 lbs.

A great start would be to train her to be gentle when taking treats- the “only giving them a treat when they stop biting your closed fist” approach doesn’t seem like the best way to go for this shark.

I am going to give her a breed identification DNA test so I can narrow down potential breed-specific behaviors and training.