u/NoApartment7399

When I try to talk about not wanting my husband to do certain things he's done in the past, or worrying that he'll repeat offend, he says 'if you dont trust me so much, I'll give you a reason not to trust me'. It drives me up the wall.

I also cant talk to him about how his behavior and berating everyone in the house affects our son. He says 'you're trying to be the good parent and make me sound bad', accuses me of making our son take sides and stops engaging in the conversation.

I call this his self-destructive behavior as it's destructive to his relationship with everyone in the house. When he's under pressure , im the usual verbal punching bag. I've been married to him long enough to know the lead up and triggers for this behavior. I just need some advice on the above.

Help

Disclaimer im in rural kzn. I had some shopping to do so went to the nearest big town mall with my 8 month old in tow. We had a long day, both of us were tired, the baby was ready to sleep. She was fussy so I took her out of her pram and had her in my arms while walking to my last stop before going home.

As we approach the shop a big group of teens walks past and then approaches asking me to hold the baby. I said no and that she is very tired. They then surround me, theres like 8 of them, and pull out phones to start recording, and saying aaah let us hold her please and speaking in Zulu which I didn't understand. I felt under SO much pressure. I was afraid of starting an altercation if I told them to go away and being recorded in a bad light. One of them then touches and kisses my baby!!! I am so upset. We got away from there and I cleaned my baby's face in the shop. She was also now screaming and crying. Baby's are very susceptible to germs specifically passed when being kissed, by anyone. I have been so strict about this and now I feel like such a failure.

Please, please, please tell the kids in your family/community that this behavior is not okay! Tell them why they should never kiss or touch other people's babies. I'm just so shocked. I feel so violated to be recorded like that in public. It is not an okay thing to do. I was just so tired and wanted to zone out while doing my shopping with my baby. I was polite to these kids and I am so upset now, they actually deserved some harsh words but in the moment I wanted to get away. Never again. Gen z is so lost.

I am someone who makes use of the convenience factor that comes with buying precut vegetables from Checkers, the mixed bags and stir fry style. Usually I wouldn't, but right now I have a baby that needs most of my attention and it makes meal prep 100% easier for me and my husband.

I just keep wondering, where does it come from? Does anyone know? Who is cutting my veggies and how is it all done? I'm assuming from a big facility that provides multiple chain supermarkets?? How much do the people in the facilities get paid when the bag of vegetables is literally 30 something rand?

If anyone here works in the food supply chain I'd love to know

Recently when I am doing things like changing our youngests clothes, or shushing her to sleep, I get a sharp pain in my chest and my mind goes to a 'what if' picture of our infant son we never got to do these things with. I didn't get to do anything with him. What would he have been like? And I find myself looking at my oldest, wishing his baby brother was next to him. Wondering if they would have both liked Thomas the train, or it would be something else. It just hurts and I'd like to not spend too much time pining over everything we lost, our baby's whole life, just gone. Wishful thinking says I should just be glad for the reminders, but I'm not happy when the reminders hurt so much.

Hello! I am looking forward to a very special trip we'll be making with my 8 year old and 8 month old baby to visit your city in July. We will be there for 4 days to visit Lego land in Billund during the day. I have planned some time to explore in Vejle while we are there. I'd love any recommendations for places we must see and places we must visit to eat. We are vegetarian, so if there are options for that it will be great. We will be staying near the train station. I have had a look on Google but I'd also like to hear from people who actually live there :)

Thank you! We are soooo excited

Disclaimer that I've always lived in rentals, as work moves us around, but once cooler weather hits it is SO cold. I'm in rural Natal, close enough to the berg to see the mountains on my drive home, and it is frickin cold here. Every winter drops to below 0. All our windows seep the cold in. When frost hits I start covering the bedroom windows with towels so we stay warmer. Yes, we have heaters but if the house was just properly insulated! Its our second rental in the area and the house is so cold. Every other rental we visited, same story. Some of these are homes the owner lived in themselves too and just stayed in the cold.

Hi Durbanites. I just wanted to share the results of my garage sale this week, knowing lots of us are cutting back and trying to save our rands where we can. Over the past few years, with moving house and kids involved we've accumulated some small appliances, home decor, toys and other bits and bobs. I've given away say a third of items, and separated what I could sell. So far we've made about 6k rand, with big ticket items being a new-ish mattress, gas heater and my cricut machine I don't use.

The key is selling toys for R10 and R20 each, a lot of parents came with R100 to choose 10 things for their kids and left very happy. I hope this can inspire others to declutter and earn something as well! Just bare in mind you won't get close to the actual value of the things you're selling.

Currently selling a bit of stuff accumulated over the years, a lot of it is plastic kids toys that were gifted to my older child. I know how people in the area are, they'll buy anything for 10 to 50 rand. But oh my God, people are unhinged. Someone currently is begging to eft me 20 rand for some small plastic cars so they can 'secure' it and collect it later 😓 lady what. Just come collect and pay

Last night i had someone try to haggle 2 storage boxes and an old iron. It's 40 rand for the boxes that's sold for 300 each new and 200 rand for a 2k rand iron. No man.

I already dropped off a whole lot of stuff as donations before anyone asks.... selling this bit of stuff now and the cash will be some spending money for my kid since it's his things mostly

Just wanted to share, I'm in rural kzn but Durban is the closest kzn sub. I've been clearing up stuff we've had for a few years, so I set out to sell some things on WhatsApp groups and Facebook. A lady messaged me on whatsapp asking for the baby stroller and gas heater I had put up. I assumed it was for herself. She lives nearby so I offered to drop it off. When I called to tell her I'm on my way, an elderly lady answered and I found it odd thinking I was talking to a new mother based on her questions about the stroller. Anyway I thought maybe she wants the pram for her grand child.

We arrive and I went to her door to say hello and so she can have a look over what I've bought before she pays. It turns out, the lady on the phone was an elderly lady herself but she bought my gas heater for the old age home next door to her, and the stroller for a young single mother she knows who doesn't have one.

This old lady just gave me such a big reminder of what it means to be South African. She saw I had things that could be useful for others and not herself. Just wanted to share how heartwarming the whole thing was! I'm definitely going to pay it forward.