u/No_Insurance_6422

Friend and her sister play with two other people every Monday.

DND Role-Play

Or idk that’s what I’m calling it.

I’ve never played DND.

I’ve listened to it on a Podcast on Spotify for a year.

-
What all do I need to do or know or so on for me to be able to have my own character and join?

I’ve tried using Ai, and well..
ai got carried away and we made the character and all its info and so on but then next thing I know the ai is asking me more questions to further the characters storyline past when my character was to join the team/party.. I didn’t catch on until maybe 28% into the story line

I asked, wait— are we making choices into the story line and already done creating?
Ai said yes, and admitted to getting carried away.

So for all of the experienced players..

What all info or data do I need to have including background for my character before I can join my friends?

Is there anyone that can talk to me late at night or at night in general?

If you can’t talk during the day that’s fine.

I just desperately need nightly conversation

Discord is working for me again.
But at this point, idc what platform..

Central time zone.
Past 5am

Day after day since break up I can’t sleep, even if tired. I struggle really bad to sleep. We slept together side by side cuddled up every single day since we first began dating .. day one.

She was really clingy and I had really low self esteem.

She wanted to and pushed to be my everything, best friend, support person, and so on.

Now she broke up with me.
Dated for a year.

I use to be okay being alone and never had an issue sleeping alone or being alone.

Now I’m stranded.

I call 988 sui-cide hotline 1 to 5 times per day.
I have no one to check on me daily, no one to talk with on the phone or in person.

I have medical issues that I’m trying to recover from.
Including currently learning how to walk again

I can’t seem to find a YouTube video to fill my mind with feeling I’m not alone or feeling okay to sleep, or feeling comforted or having affirmations.

I don’t know what else to do.
I am trying to keep myself together

I know there’s communities on here for sleep calls. Most use discord, idk why but in my phone lately it’s picky
Every app works fine.
Discord however randomly decides my phone internet isn’t a good enough connection
So it either doesn’t load
Or does load but has everything as “read-only”

I doubt I’ll get a quick response considering how late it is..

But if anyone can help in any way. Let me know please

This has been back to back, night after night.

If I don’t get enough sleep or stay up to late. That can trigger bad medical issues.

I am managing to hold stuff back
I just need something or someone to idk help me not feel as alone while I try to sleep.
Idk if I can text Til I black out
Or phone call or Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat call until I black out ..
I really don’t know

Any ideas would be nice or video suggestions

Rather not call 988 again.
Plus they will not stay on the phone long enough to have me feel better and relaxed and for me to sleep.

Can’t blame them but would be nice if they did or if someone did.

So yeah a cry for help plus a vent is what this post is.

Sorry it’s a really-long post

Reaching out, crumbling feeling.

Like I’m crumbling into pieces as I walk to only sink further into a swamp of mud and disappearing into the darkness and chaos as I’m crying and freaking out while feeling stuck, stranded, and hopeless.

Lost.

Reaching out, crumbling feeling.

Like I’m crumbling into pieces as I walk to only sink further into a swamp of mud and disappearing into the darkness and chaos as I’m crying and freaking out while feeling stuck, stranded, and hopeless.

Lost.

Rather Not call 988. Trying to reach out to people. No responses, one actually did but they’re busy on a game.

I am trying to find a distraction,
Trying to not over stimulate or stress my brain any further.

I have nothing.
Talking to Ai, isn’t helping this time around.
Idk what to do.

Topics of why I’m like this:
Property Manager/ my two E.s.a. cats
- emotional support animals

Money

Girl I’m dating

Money

Her mom plus the moms best friend

Medical appointments

Living alone/ feeling alone

Feeling like I’m drowning and losing focus and ability to strive

I have no support system that legitimately checks on me or helps.

Closest is my physical therapist
And the 988 suicide hotline.

- if you wonder: what about family or the girl you mentioned?

She has a major learning disability and limited life understanding, along with two forms of ADHD.
She tries to be there for me emotionally as best she can..

Family: my brother can only stop by for 5 to 10 minutes at a time.
No phone calls due to his overly controlling and clingy girlfriend.

But then again, I’m learning the girl I’m with is just the same but different methods.

Oh and yeah her housing situation is another stressor
Along with my own housing situation
Plus as I said my 2 ESA cats

Also having to call legal aid tomorrow on top of my appointments
Plus calling a therapist I haven’t seen in almost a year
Having to
Vent about my property manager to her plus about my two ESA cats she gave me a letter for
That my property manager is now charging me for one of them and backed it by 3 months worth all at once and I have to pay that too by the Tenth.

Also
I don’t work— medically I can’t yet

Did I mention I have a list of medical problems?
And
I’m not medicated yet?
My list goes on and on of issues.

And again I’m alone

No true daily support

Besides the 5 to 10 minutes my brother comes over
And the 988 number

- I don’t know what to do.

I wish I could just go numb like I used to years ago.