u/Odd_Construction2690

and I relate to it so much. i thought i had OCD with an obsession with work. and compulsions to have everything complete to the standards I imposed that I struggle to meet. but this seems to be similar except under another name. i’d love to talk to anyone if they are willing, as I feel quite alone with these struggles I have. I feel quite trapped. OCPD seems to be represented as a disorder ppl do not understand they have. I see that I have issues, though i think they are justified and necessary for me to have to be in control and prevent bad things from happening

I have very severe anxiety around work. my old manager wasn’t very expressive. it was very tough for me as i wanted assurance I was doing okay. to this day, I have no clue how she felt about me. Now, w my new manager, whenever we have a positive interaction or she gives me some sort of compliment, I feel this wave of relief. especially if i’ve been thinking she hates me for something or that i’ll be let go. same with other things at work. I finally felt safe after a task i did, as i did it with ease, and it went well. I was able to sleep that night. every other night im an insomniac due to stress, and feeling like im behind and need to work more. I track my hours, and am always behind for the weekend so I need to make it up. though nothing is due. I feel trapped in my mind. I just don’t want to feel this way anymore

I believe my neurotic and obsessive tendencies with work make sense, because I’m not as smart as others at work and feel behind. So i believe that it makes sense for me to be obsessive about my work tasks and work weekends to make up for it in order to keep up and make sure performance doesn’t drop , as I want to keep my job. Does anyone else have similar? I must reach 40 hrs or more each week. if I don’t focus for a part of that I must work later to make up for it. I also work weekends as It’s tough to be productive to my standards and complete my to do list within the work week. it’s terrible actually. I also cannot sleep at night due to uncertain tasks at work. rarely i’ll feel safe and okay. it’s really nice. but usually it’s just this cycle. i even pull all nighters working and feel it’s what Im supposed to do, as Im so slow w work and don’t want to get in trouble

My foot began hurting a year ago to a point I couldn’t walk without pain. needed to wear a boot. now I can only wear my Hokas, or else the pain comes back. I’m 23, and feel absolutely atrocious wearing big bulky hoka gym shoes everywhere. even around the house and at work with professional clothing. i’ve said no to dates bc I realized i didn’t know what shoe I could wear that would look cute. I’m just venting. I miss my old life before injury. i miss all the cute clothes I used to be able to wear. the hokas ruin everything, so i just wear athletic clothing now. I feel like im grieving and wish so badly I could get my old foot back.

got it prescribed for presentations, I’d probably take it around 2-3x a month. Have anyone gained weight form taking it as needed? Does it make you hungrier? i’ve heard it can cause weight gain

I work from home in a corporate job. I’m supposed to work 40hrs/week. everytime i zone out or think about about something other that work for longer than i couple mins, i add that time and tell myself i need to make it up. on days we are very busy at work, i don’t have this issue as im engaged, but on weeks w down time, i end up telling myself i need to make up a bunch of work. in reality, i don’t actually have anything due. I just feel i need to use up almost each minute productively or else something bad will happen. I have been an insomniac for the past 4 years. i cannot sleep due to my anxiety around tasks, and the feeling that i always need to do more. i understand that none of these thoughts make much sense and do more harm than good but i can’t let it go. it’s monday and im already 1 hr and 45 min behind on work. i dont actually have anything due soon. so im not really behind. but i’ve been staying up trying to make it up and cannot fall asleep. it’s hard to explain. idk why im this way. I’m so tired of the tracking time. but when i am finally “caught up,” i feel safe and can sleep sometimes. i really only feel safe when i work myself to the bone to pure exhaustion. it’s hard to upkeep this level of work intensity for myself. i wish someone understood my issue. does anyone relate?

and then when it’s not work stuff to catch up on, it’s other stuff. like ill feel like i need to apply to other jobs and get my resume updated. its like im never caught up. i wish i could sleep regardless of this feeling, as in reality theres no danger. but i dont feel safe. it’s like this inner feeling that something bad will happen if i dont do thing x,y, z and im
on overdrive