u/OppositeHome169

Hi everyone! I’m 35, living in Southern Ontario, and looking for some routine and retinoid advice. 

My current skin concerns: 

• Melasma: Darker patches that I need to address. 
• Adult Acne/Texture: Rare breakouts, but they don't look like typical pus-filled acne. They are mostly bumps filled with a hard, white material (maybe sebum plugs/closed comedones?). 
• PIH: Darkened spots left behind by past acne. 
• T-Zone: Occasional blackheads. 
• Aging: Wanting to target fine lines/wrinkles alongside my texture issues.

 

My past experience:
In February 2026, a doctor prescribed Aklief (trifarotene). Unfortunately, it caused a massive breakout/purge of more acne, and my skin just couldn't tolerate it, so I had to stop. Right now, I am using the SVR Ampoule A (retinol/palmitate), but it feels a bit too soft and isn't doing much for my concerns. 

I want to switch to a standard, reliable retinoid that everyone uses for overall aging, texture, and pigmentation—not just a hyper-specific acne treatment. 

Since I'm in Ontario, what do you recommend? 

• Should I ask a GP for standard Tretinoin (and what formulation/percentage is best for melasma/plugged pores)? 
• Are there any reliable Canadian retinoids you suggest I will ask my doctor to prescribe? 
• Any extra product recommendations available at Shoppers, Rexall, or Sephora that pair well for the "white material" bumps and melasma?

 

Thank you so much! 

Who did you ask reference letter?
Let’s say one is supervisor, the others 2 committee members. I asked one of my committee member and she said she is away for vacation. I am not sure who else I can ask? Who were your back ups?

I’m just curious what was their sign ? sun moon or rising ?

mine was Capricorn DA, I’m Scorpio FA

I’m finishing a PhD, but instead of feeling proud, lately I’ve been grieving my life.

For most of my adulthood, I’ve felt like I had nobody to fall back on except myself. No real financial safety net, no feeling of “if I can’t handle this, someone will help me.”

My family expected me to support others instead. In 2022, I gave my father $10,000 toward a car in his name and kept making monthly payments until around summer 2024, even while I was struggling myself. I also helped my siblings financially. What hurts now is realizing nobody seemed to ask, “Are YOU okay? Do YOU need anything?”

Now I’m 35, finishing my PhD, counting pennies, trying to find temporary housing, and facing uncertainty about whether I can stay in Canada.

I know I made some bad financial decisions too. I take responsibility for that. But it wasn’t only that. I spent years carrying responsibilities that weren’t mine while having no safety net underneath me.

Then I compare myself to people my age with homes, stable careers, good salaries, vacations, partners, family support, and I think: the life I imagined never happened.

I thought by 35 I’d have a home, some financial security, maybe someone whose shoulder I could put my head on and feel like I didn’t have to handle everything alone.

I think that’s what I’m grieving.

I’m tired of always being the person who figures it out.

I’m finishing a PhD, but instead of feeling proud, lately I’ve been grieving my life.

For most of my adulthood, I’ve felt like I had nobody to fall back on except myself. No real financial safety net, no feeling of “if I can’t handle this, someone will help me.”

My family expected me to support others instead. In 2022, I gave my father $10,000 toward a car in his name and kept making monthly payments until around summer 2024, even while I was struggling myself. I also helped my siblings financially. What hurts now is realizing nobody seemed to ask, “Are YOU okay? Do YOU need anything?”

Now I’m 35, finishing my PhD, counting pennies, trying to find temporary housing, and facing uncertainty about whether I can stay in Canada.

I know I made some bad financial decisions too. I take responsibility for that. But it wasn’t only that. I spent years carrying responsibilities that weren’t mine while having no safety net underneath me.

Then I compare myself to people my age with homes, stable careers, good salaries, vacations, partners, family support, and I think: the life I imagined never happened.

I thought by 35 I’d have a home, some financial security, maybe someone whose shoulder I could put my head on and feel like I didn’t have to handle everything alone.

I think that’s what I’m grieving.

I’m tired of always being the person who figures it out.

I just received a rejection from a postdoc position I had been waiting on and had started to believe might turn into a positive outcome.

I know rejection is common in academia, but this one feels particularly difficult because I had invested a lot of hope in it. I keep wondering what the rejection actually means. Was I not competitive enough? Was there a stronger candidate? Was the decision based on fit, funding, timing, or something else entirely?

For those who have been through postdoc rejections, how did you interpret them without immediately turning the decision into a judgment about your overall ability or future in academia?

I am not necessarily looking for reassurance that “everything happens for a reason.” I would mainly appreciate honest perspectives from people who understand how these decisions are made and how they managed the disappointment afterward.

I’m having an intense emotional crash tonight. I’m not suicidal and don’t intend to hurt myself, but I feel deeply sad, rejected, and exhausted.

Several things collided at once: there is no postdoc opportunity for me this fall, my PhD defence is next week, and I reopened an old rejection by looking at someone’s Instagram.

The man involved created intimacy without intention. I gave meaning to something he seems to have used for ego, comfort, or sex. He showed no consistency or real care, and I was never part of his long-term plan.

What I’m trying to understand is why these separate losses fuse into one belief:

“No one wants me. There is no place for me. My life is empty.”

A more honest thought is:

“I’m focused on what I can’t have because I’m grieving it. What I have still matters, but I can’t feel its value clearly tonight.”

From a Jungian perspective, why do unavailable people, unavailable futures, and rejection become so psychologically fused? How do I separate immediate grief from the deeper belief that I am fundamentally unwanted?

I’m applying for a competitive national postdoctoral award that requires two confidential reference letters. The guidelines do not require a letter from my PhD supervisor.

I have some concerns about relying on my supervisor, although he would probably appear supportive if asked. Two senior members of my doctoral committee know my research well and could provide detailed letters.

Would using two committee members instead of my primary supervisor weaken the application or raise questions for reviewers?

Hi everyone,

My biometrics are still valid, but they will expire in about 2 years. I am graduating in 2 months and planning to apply for my PGWP. I also may not be in Canada by the time my PGWP is approved.

Has anyone been able to give biometrics again before the current biometrics expire? Is there a way to renew biometrics early, or do I have to wait until IRCC asks for them in a future application?

I am trying to avoid a situation where my biometrics expire before the full period of my future permit or travel document. Any experience or advice would be appreciated.

I know Lagertha is one of the most beloved characters in Vikings, and I understand why. But the scene with King Harald when he is her prisoner is rarely named clearly.
Harald is captive and under her control. In that situation, he cannot freely consent. Whatever we think of him as a violent or ambitious character, that scene still reads as sexual assault/rape.

What bothers me is how the show frames it more as dominance, humiliation, or revenge than as sexual violence. Lagertha’s status as a survivor and feminist icon seems to make people avoid criticizing her abuse of power.

Calling it rape does not make Harald innocent overall. It just means the same standard should apply regardless of gender. For me, this scene shows that Lagertha’s hunger for power becomes darker than the fandom usually admits.

Curious how others read it? did the show intend us to see it as rape, or did it minimize it because Harald is male and Lagertha is beloved?

Sigurd’s death was shocking, but I do not think it was random. He constantly attacked Ivar in dishonourable ways, especially by mocking his disability and masculinity in front of others.

He rarely had a strong argument against Ivar, so he used humiliation instead. In a culture where honour and public reputation mattered, that was a dangerous game.
Ivar was violent, yes, but Sigurd was not innocent. He kept provoking someone he knew was unstable and dangerous.

I am not saying Ivar was morally right. I am saying Sigurd played with fire and got burned. Well it might be unpopular but he deserved his end.

What do you think?

Title. How do you decide your rate in business? Based on experience? Market situation?

I’ve been thinking about Floki and Helga, and he seems deeply avoidant to me. He clearly loves her, but whenever she offers him peace, stability, or happiness, he pulls away.

That moment where he says something like, “I can’t bear this much happiness, you are too good, Helga,” really captures him. It’s not that he doesn’t feel. He feels too much, then escapes.

I also find it interesting that he doesn’t want a child. Maybe it’s fear of responsibility, maybe fear of damaging the child, or maybe fear of the world the child would be born into. Either way, it fits his character.

His spirituality is also fascinating. In Spain, when he encounters Islam, he seems genuinely moved. He is deeply spiritual, but also mentally overwhelmed by belief, guilt, and identity.

I wouldn’t diagnose him, but he does seem psychologically unstable at times. What do you think, is Floki avoidant because he feels unworthy of love, fears responsibility, or because ordinary happiness feels impossible for him?

One thing that drives me crazy about the Finehair brothers is how they react whenever things go wrong. Their first instinct is always to find someone to blame, and half the time they end up saying something like, “Maybe the Lothbroks are cursed.” No, maybe you’re not smart enough to see big picture or how they think. The Lothbroks have achieved more than they ever did, yet the Finehairs keep acting like victims instead of taking responsibility.

I used to dislike Aslaug, but Ragnar’s goodbye speech to her changed how I see her.

She gave Ragnar four sons, ruled while he was absent, and never turned the children against him. Yes, she had flaws, especially with Harbard, but she was also stuck in a loveless marriage where Ragnar gave her very little love, care, or attention.

On rewatch, I don’t see her as just “the other woman” anymore. I see someone lonely, neglected, and carrying responsibilities Ragnar often avoided.

Honestly, Ragnar was a passive-aggressive and toxic husband in many ways. I still love him as a character, but Aslaug deserved more sympathy than I gave her before.

Edit: Yes Siggy kid is dead but I don't think main reason was the neglect of Aslaug, her own mother Porunn left her in the first place.

A few days ago I made a post about Rollo and everyone was saying, you cannot evaluate things based on today's world. Same valid for Siggy's dead. I don't think there were children's rights or protection. They were mostly leaving things to the nature or Gods or fate. There was no mourning for a child's death.

This relationship guys, have you ever had and how did it go? I’m ENTJ female and wondering. Also what were your attachment styles?

I’m torn about Rollo.

Betraying Ragnar was wrong. No question. But I also don’t see Rollo as a simple villain. In Kattegat, he would always be Ragnar’s brother, living under his shadow. Francia gave him land, status, and a future that was actually his.

I also think his effort to integrate matters. Gisla rejected him, he didn’t speak the language, and he was treated as an outsider. Yet he stayed, learned, adapted, and built a life there.

So how do you read him? Traitor, survivor, opportunist, tragic figure, or something else?

I’ve been thinking about Judith and I actually really like her as a character. She feels like a woman ahead of her time. Feminine, but also fierce enough to go after what she wants.

I also think Ecbert genuinely respected her. Not just in a romantic/sexual way, but because he saw that she was smart and had political instincts.

Obviously, I don’t love that she killed her own son. That was brutal. But at the same time, for the sake of the country, I don’t know what other choice she really had.

That’s why I find her interesting. She isn’t fully good or fully bad. She’s ambitious, complicated, and sometimes ruthless, but in a world where women had very little room to move.

What do you think? Was Judith wrong, or was she just doing what had to be done?

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for dentist recommendations in London. I’m especially hoping to find someone who is ethical, transparent, and conservative with treatment planning — someone who explains options clearly and doesn’t pressure patients into unnecessary procedures.

I’d really appreciate recommendations based on personal experience, especially dentists who are good with prevention, second opinions, and giving honest estimates before treatment.

Also open to hearing who to avoid, but please keep it respectful.

Thanks!