u/PaleontologistNo6452

This is like a 2 in 1 aita but yeah.

Long story short me and my gf were supposed to go out with my friends to a party. I got dressed and went to get her and she was like very over dressed , like verg revealing short skirt with a corset . I wasn’t bothered by it since its her body and her choice . But when she went in the car she couldn’t move properly because of the things she was wearing. I told her ,, you look gorgeous but you should also feel comfortable ,, she got mad that i didn’t compliment her and didn’t like the way i worded thats .

The second thing , when we were at the party , she got a bit drunk since she doesn’t drink and was talking how she will start twerking but just for me and she will show me when we are alone blah blah . I noticed that she is a bit drunk and kind of answered but ignored it because i didn’t want to talk about her twerking for fs. And she got mad that i didn’t pay much attention to her talking to me how she will twerk for me , and was mad the entire night . Her reason is the way i didn’t answer when she said she will twerk for me .

So am i the asshole for basically telling her to feel comfortable and for shifting the conversation about her twerking ?

We are together for good 5 years and she basically reaaly and i mean really wants to have sex , its like its a priority in the relationship before anything else . Today we were supposed to book our vacation and we were supposed to go to her place , i didn’t bring a condom , and she got mad at me and basically blamed me that i didn’t want to have sex with her . To me that seemed a bit excessive because i love to do it with her but at the same time i want to be with her for her , not for sex every day .

Context : we have had sex 5 of the last 7 days .

How much kcal do i need to eat to be leaner ?

Im 22 male , 180cm and 83 kgs . I want to get to like 75 kgs . I am working a somewhat physical work (wrapping cars , etc.) and am always on my feet . I work out 40 minutes strength training plus 20 minutes running after workouts . Some days instead of gym i will go hooping for 2 hours . Idk how do j calculate how much calories am i burning.

Another thing is what food should i cut out completely. I eat a ice cream or a chocolate bar once in a while but other than that i eat mostly salty food , which is bad i know and idk how to cut them out its hard . Mostly dry meats that make my stomach bloat.

So what would be my break even point or how much do i need to cut ?

I used to eat 1800 kcal when i wasn’t working , but now that im working idk how much?

Im really annoyed because when my girl posts pictures of herself on stories, cf and posts i like them and i compliment her and im really happy she is confident. But when i post sometimes a picture of myself or a gym photo , i rarely post , mainly on my cf she always turns passive aggressive and sometimes even pokes me that i post for attention and lately she doesn’t even like them . A bit context is that i am in an above average shape so she might think something connected to that , or idk, i never post thirst traps , just a mirror selfie not flexing . Also , she posts like 3 times a week her outfits, selfies and sometimes even things that are a bit revealing and i never complain nor ever will since its her thing she likes and i will gladly hype her up to do it . So is it like a jealousy thing or something she thinks , or what do i do? And how can i talk to her maturely about it without sounding bad?

Tldr my gf of 5 years has different standards for both of us and its a bit annoying.

We've been together for 5 years, since I was 18. For most of that time I've felt like I keep shrinking to make things work, and lately it feels like I'm being pushed further and further away instead of pulled closer.

Some context: over the years there's been checking my phone, discomfort with me having female friends or colleagues, and suspicion read into completely normal interactions. A few examples:I have female colleagues I talk to for work and normal social reasons, and it's been treated as something to be suspicious of, even when nothing about it is out of the ordinary. My phone has been checked without me offering it, more than once. I have a friend group from college (two guys, two girls) that meant a lot to me in my last semester — genuinely good people who made me feel seen — and even that has caused tension. When something like this happens, there's usually tension or silence for a while, and then things just go back to normal without us actually talking about what happened.

The most recent example: I posted something totally neutral (a basketball hoop, nothing to do with anyone) on my close friends story. She got upset because she thought I was "getting too comfortable" with female friends seeing my stories. That was two days ago. Since then she's been dry — barely talking to me — with no actual conversation about what's bothering her. I'm just left sitting with it, guessing, waiting for her to thaw out.

I still care about her and this isn't about ending things dramatically or making her out to be a villain. I just don't know if this is normal relationship friction anymore or something I should be taking a lot more seriously after 5 years.

TL;DR: Been with my gf for 5 years. She gets upset over normal things (friendships, social media, interactions with women), and when it happens there's silence instead of real communication. Latest example: she's been giving me the cold shoulder for 2 days over an innocent story post. I feel pushed away more than pulled close, and I don't know if I'm overthinking it or if this is a real red flag.

Why do women like it when you treat them like your friend rather than traditional flirting? I have seen it in many people where normal flirting is avoidant and joking around and treating them like you treat your friends is interesting to them.

I am a 22 year old male who is in a relationship and although she has told me multiple times that I cannot have female friends it’s easier to me to be friends with females rather than males because i get disgusted when many of the males in my town are using substances and its not fun at all being the babysitter. While i get along better with females , I don’t want to use them and sleep with them its just naturally easier for me tk hang out in a mixed group with male and females rather than only males because it always ends up with me babysitting them . And i try to get my girl involved into it but she refuses and its hard for me to live like this . I feel like im shrinked to find new friendships because most friend groups have male and females in them .

And yes i have talked tk her about this but she is having none of it . I need some advice

So me and my gf have been in a relationship for 4 and a half years and things are going good when im doing what im told . Sorry if this is long but i need to give full context of the whole relationship.
Our first year together she was nice and we both had our personal lives outside of the relationship which is very attractive to me when someone has their personal life ajd it was all going well.

Our second year things started to get bad , she was constantly getting mad at me because i had some female friends from before and i kind of distanced myself from them and cut contact but i kept friend with only one od them which i knew for 4 years . Slowly even she became a problem, coffee with her was a problem, talking to her was a problem so i cut it . Over time she had a problem with me going out on a party with my male friens occasionally and i stopped going ( i have went to a party 4-5 times these past 4 years ).

Year 3 she made me cut complete contact and to unfollow and delete my friend from middle school and i did in panic which i regret to this day , she started looking trough my phone , wanting to know every single chat with female colleagues even if its for college , always wanted to know where i was , who with etc , never allowed me to be friends with females from college ,etc and i did . Now started the problem in which i follow some od my colleagues, why did i follow them how did inkbow them etc and i unfollowed them . But it still wasn’t enough.

Year 4-4,5 I realized that she always needs to control the situation, needs things to go her way , needs to be loved with words , does not respect my boundaries and my privacy , doesn’t trust me and when things aren’t going well she starts crying which breaks me and i fold .And im exhausted , burnt and i need advice on how to deal with this .

For some context she is very self centered, always needs things to go her way , spends too much money ( don’t wanna be a dick but her family isn’t some rich family she spends it all) , always cuts people out when talking and wants to one up you , but she is very sweet and nice .

Tdlr my gf is very controlling and idk what to do

AIO for getting mad and very nervous when my girl doesn’t respect my privacy or others.

For context she constantly needs to know everything thats going on on my phone and if i don’t tell her something she will get a bit more mad , and make me as if im hiding something when in reality its my privacy and it’s bothering me . I never ever looked trough her phone nor ever will.

But one thing in particular had me worried. When i was in college i had a roommate, and when he wasn’t there i invited my girl over to sleep just because. When i went to the bathroom and came back she swooped and looked into my roommates cabinet and found gia girls stuff and his condoms . Which might look like nothing but to me thats not respecting privacy. And its very irritating and annoying. I hate that shit with all my heart. To me okay , she can so it and everything but to my roommate? Thats fucked up and I confronted her about it but she said that he won’t find out . Like okay he won’t but thats very childish and I can’t get it out ov my head so , AIO?