u/PerfectConstant1120

My asshole husband who I am trying to leave from took my daughter’s dog tonight and she was in extreme distress for 30 minutes. She is not ok, it was very traumatic for her. She said she thought he was taking it to kill it since he does crazy things when he is mad at me. She is a teen. My heart is broken, she has bad anxiety, has been in therapy for a long time, but we stopped a little while ago. He kept telling me to stop talking when I told him she was asking him to leave her alone.

My husband is completely enmeshed with his mom. They used to email each other 3 times a day at certain times so they would know each other was okay. They lived close to us and made my life a living hell. My daughter just had his phone and he still texts all throughout the day with his mom. Kisses her ass and is so mean to me. Screams at me, is such an asshole. I want to leave but also just need to vent. I have never been a priority. Why do these people pull innocent people on and ruin their lives? I hate him so much

I have been married for 18 years. I don’t feel any love for or from my husband. For the first at least 10 it was survival. He was/is extremely enmeshed with his mother so I was “surviving” her while also surviving his emotional reactivity. I did not have anxiety before marriage, now I have bad anxiety, have been in therapy for many years, and am finally unpacking my feelings.

We have a now teen daughter with extreme anxiety. He did not parent for at least the first 10 years and now his parenting is not great. I have to step in a lot or basically just take over for him not doing what he should. Even today my daughter said something to him that I had to stop and say “you can’t let her talk to you like that”. His parenting is intermittent, inconsistent, and confusing, just like his behavior to me. He gets very mad at me for stepping in, but also isn’t parenting in an appropriate way-I don’t want my kids to be extremely enmeshed and have to work through that in their 40s(not that he is ever working through his own issues).

I don’t feel love. I feel trapped. I feel frustrated all the time. I have tried to leave, and it has been punished. He wants to stay married, but treats me like a roommate. For my birthday and Mother’s Day he does nothing. I make my own cake. Any of these things happening by themselves could maybe be overlooked, but I have a deep sense of loneliness. A big part of me hates him.

He is the breadwinner. I’m not sure how I will fare without him. I’m also worried because I age a lot more health issues than I did(I had zero before) so part of me doesn’t push leaving because it’s hard and I feel like I will be poor and destitute. But can people live feeling so alone forever? Last time I planned to leave, it seemed so hard because I live in such an expensive area and with the state of everything, it just seems not worth it. I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice or just validation. I feel like I have wasted my life.

I feel like this happens every time we go on vacation, which is not often. I do everything for the kids and my husband joins us if I plan something. I like to have time to workout and literally my kids have been on screens the whole time. I asked him to do something with them and he says they don’t want to do anything with him(which is true). It is very exhausting though. I have been doing our laundry and the communal towels and he hung his sweaty ass soaking clothes up on the bathroom towel rack. I told him I am not washing his clothes and he acted offended and said it would be easy to just add his clothes in to the wash…

Has anyone figured out this conundrum-kids don’t like spending time with him so he never has to do anything with them and the onus is always on me added to the mental load. It’s so exhausting and I’d like to leave, I have planned that, but also financially it would suck. I just feel like I’m going to hate the rest of my life and wear myself down so I won’t be able to enjoy it. Help

Husband dx severe hyperactive ADHD but then denied that dx and found someone to tell him he does not have ADHD. I can’t ask my question or my post will not be approved but looking for similar experiences