I have re-fallen in love with Zumba through A sulu on YouTube. Most of his videos are from awhile ago. I used to do Zumba many years ago and it brought me so much joy, and honestly it has saved me from a depression. What are some other teachers similar to A Sulu? He is so happy and full of joy and inspiring
I had what I can only call a “rupture” with a fellow traveler, who I thought was my friend. I had to assert myself and say I think we should pause because I felt like she was not being truthful to me and if something was uncomfortable, she would just avoid telling me. It hurt my feelings because instead of our scheduled meeting, she got on an actual meeting and said I should join. I told her that I wasn’t up for a brand new meeting that required participation(I was having a bad week and day) and I had been looking forward to meeting and talking.
Honestly this makes me feel like I am too much for someone else, just like I was in my dysfunctional home. I don’t know why people can’t be honest. I am a reasonably enjoyable person to be around, before I realized all my trauma and started recovery I had lots of friends. I have a family and children now so I have less friends and I just wanted someone to work alongside in this program.
Of course, all my fears came true after trusting someone. Can anyone speak to this or give suggestions? The ACA meetings in my area are apparently not active because I emailed them all and never heard back. I feel like I want to work this program and develop relationships, but I am also afraid that people will reject me. Thank you for listening
I just had a consult with a therapist who was talking about HRV, and I said actually my HRV is quite good at around 100. She about list it and said she had never seen that and I need to see a doctor immediately. I have had tons of bloodwork recently so I don’t think anything is wrong, but of course this gives me anxiety. Anyone else have this? I thought it was from exercise and training
Gave landlord notice my circumstances changed and I wouldn’t be moving in. He rerented property starting 6 days later than I had planned. I offered to pay a prorated amount, but he said he was keeping my security deposit, pet fee, and other misc fees. I consulted a real estate attorney who said he can’t double dip since he is collecting rent from someone else. I have been advised to pursue small claims court. Any thoughts?
Of course I didn’t expect my circumstances to change, but he is in the same position he was minus 6 days, which I have offered to pay. I think now it is principal and he feels he can keep money, but there is no termination clause in the contract AND I never stepped foot in the place
My circumstances changed and so I backed out of a lease. I told him before my move in date, and he was able to rerent the place starting a few days later. I have offered to pay those days, but he is insisting on keeping my full security deposit. I talked to a real estate attorney, who said legally he can’t “double dip”, which he is doing. He just moved out so he can’t really say he could have rented it earlier. My option at this point is small claims. Is it worth it? I believe I have all the evidence in my favor and it is not a small amount of money, close to $3k. There is nothing in the lease that he can keep the security deposit as an inconvenience fee, I feel bad for backing out, but he was able to rerent it almost immediately so I don’t feel he should keep my money. Any thoughts?
Hey all, I am leaving an abusive marriage and need quick easy, budget friendly options. I was pleasantly surprised by mattress firm. I thought I would go in for 10 minutes, but we were able to try many mattresses and they offer a free base. We need these for a year until I figure out our long term plans. Does anyone have any recommendations or non recommendations about these? My kids each picked a mattress for around $500 and I’m going to choose a similar one for now since it will be temporary.
About a month ago now my husband had one of his scary episodes, revealed he has been tracking my phone, and then proceeded to ask the kids very aggressively if they knew I had talked to a divorce attorney, if they knew I was ripping their family apart, and told them I am pure evil and possessed by Satan.
Since then my cPTSD that he caused, has been spiraling. I now can’t sleep. I told him I want a separation and divorce and he has said no for a long time. Now he says if I want to leave, I can, but he will not talk about it and every day acts like everything is normal. I have been a stay at home mom for most of our marriage so it hasn’t been easy to find a place to go, and I can’t go immediately.
While still in this environment my system is in constant fight or flight and now even at night to the point I can’t sleep. I know there are parts that are terrified but I don’t know how to interact with them and I feel like I’m about to lose my mind. Tonight I was in a constant panic all night. Any help is appreciated.
Furnishing a house to separate from my husband. Me and two kids. I’m an organic mattress person, but having a hard time justifying the price for one year. I don’t know what will happen after a year and don’t want to necessarily move a lot of stuff so my mindset is we will be using these for one year. Suggestions of good mattresses for less that lean natural??
I don’t drive much-14k miles on my 22 but it’s a gas hog. Can get a 26 crv hybrid sport L for $7k otd. Would you do it?
I have 2 kids, we keep the 3rd row down because it’s too tight, don’t need the extra space and about to go through a divorce so want a car under warranty. 22 pilot has a lot of quirks I won’t miss
I am at the beginning stages, and I know there is no predicting this especially with an unpredictable person(mine has said for years he will never agree to separation or divorce but loves to fight). How much did you think your divorce would cost and how much did it actually cost. I’m just curious but also it’s just a fun post because this process sucks, but also being miserably married has sucked so…
I have done many consults, spent a small fortune, and still haven’t found what I’m looking for….
So I’m asking again for recommendations
Tried:
Cary Close 👎
Anna at Gantt OK
Sara West OK
Andrea Doyle OK
TDL OK
I don’t know what else to title this lol. I have paid a small fortune on consults, I have to choose someone. No one has wowed me but I guess that’s ok. My question is-how many people were successful with a separation agreement? If i understand correctly, that is the first method tried and if that doesn’t work it moves to mediation and then to litigation? Can you predict it at all? I just want to be done, but my husband has been controlling, abusive(covert so I think he still may agree), and says he won’t agree to a separation or divorce(but think that’s all talk). He is a very anxious risk averse person so I can’t really see him not responding to a lawyer.
What would you do if your partner said they want to separate? My husband has said no for 2 years, and I haven’t had the courage to challenge him. High conflict awful toxic marriage with abuse and control for 18 years.
I told him last week I want a separation. He put me through 3 weeks of hell, leaving the house slamming the door, texting me how angry he is at me, doing unpredictable aggressive things. Finally calmed down after I told him and thinks that like the other times I’m just going to forget about it and stay. So I bring it up again tonight and he literally uses my words-that I betrayed his trust by talking to a divorce attorney. When in actuality he betrayed my trust by checking my phone records to reverse look up numbers to find that out. He says he will not agree to a separation or divorce.
Do I have a choice in trying to get a bulldog lawyer? I mean I wanted to do things peacefully, but he is trying to hold me hostage. I hate him and just want to get the heck out of this. But seriously, if someone told me so many times they were unhappy, I wouldn’t keep saying I wanted to stay married.
My husband has used coercive control and covert abuse basically I think my whole marriage of 18 years. I’m not sure if he is aware of what he is doing or it is intentional, but it has given me cptsd(diagnosed) and I am suffering greatly as I believe are my kids
The past 3 weeks he was very angry and it has been absolute hell, I have felt like I was being chased by a tiger for must of it, constant fight or flight, can’t sleep. He has been leaving the house abruptly, slamming the door, yelling, telling the kids things about me, texting me about how angry and frustrated he is at me.
My abuse is “not that bad” like others who have it a lot worse, but my experience for myself is so bad. He has not let me leave for the past 2 years,using religion against me, telling me I’m threatening him when I tell him I’m unhappy and want a separation.
Of course now he has calmed won and so I feel like I need to stay and behave so he won’t do it again. I have a place I can sign a lease for that begins in a few weeks, but now my brain is like maybe it’s not that bad, but also I know it is. Is anyone else soooo confused with everything that has happened to you that you can’t even take the first step? I feel like I am double crossing him but also he does that and worse to me when he is angry.
2 weeks ago tonight my husband made a huge scene in front of my kids admitting he had checked my phone records and asked if they knew I had been talking to a divorce attorney, if they knew I was ripping their family apart, and telling them I am pure evil, he is their safe person(which is untrue and ironic). He has made the past few weeks very scary for me-and I guess it can be all explained away like he does, but he has periods of very scary aggressive behavior and leaves the house slamming the door, has pinched holes in walls, threatens suicide, etc. My body has been in fight or flight for years, but very acutely for the past few weeks. I have felt like I am going to die.
I want to leave and get a place. I told him I want this. He thinks like all the other times this will blow over and I’ll just “forget” this happened. That’s doesn’t happen. I can’t even be around him-my body is extremely hyper vigilant and feels unsafe around him. I went to the doctor today and have to get checked for autoimmune disease. He is very covert and gaslighting so I have just thought it was me and I was crazy for a long time. I hate this
I am heartbroken to not be able to see my kids all the time. I have been their primary parent, their safe person. My husband doesn’t know how to parent, is not a good one, but I think in my state they pretty much give 50/50 custody. He is controlling and abusive and I don’t want to be married to him anymore, but man I almost would to get to see my kids. I love them so much, I have been with them their whole lives, I have stayed home and homeschooled them. Thankfully, I don’t have any love for the man, if I ever did, it vanished when he started his abuse very early in the marriage. Has anyone found a way to deal with this grief? I have so much regret since I brought them into this world and am now abandoning them.
I told my husband I want a separation and divorce. He is “committed to working on our relationship” and in the same breath doesn’t listen to me and gets agressive.
I tell him he broke my trust when he checked the phone records, and he says I broke his trust when I talked to a divorce attorney behind his back…even though I had told him for awhile our relationship wasn’t working and we needed a separation.
This conversation told me all I needed to know to be very sure in my decision
Another legal consult, more questions and more money😬
I have no idea which way my husband will go. He hasn’t let me leave for years, hasn’t listened to my concerns, has little emotional regulation with me, but holds down a job and seems to be ok with everyone else.
The collaborative lawyer I met with would not take my case. Said he is too much of a wild card. I have also made excuses for him for years so I may not be seeing things crystal clear.
Most recently I guess he checked my phone records, and started a huge argument by asking the kids(not calmly) if they knew I had talked to a divorce attorney and grilled me in front of the kids. Told them I am pure evil, I am tearing their family apart, and he will never leave them.
I don’t want to fight him for another minute. I want the hell out with what is mine. I would like the last 18 years of my life back, but I realize that is not going to happen, and mourning it and staying isn’t helping anyone.
Because of his fear of authority, I think he will respond to a separation agreement, and I think that may be less inflammatory. Would you start with that?
I haven’t been diagnosed with IR, but am in a (unrelated) research study and got a CGM this week. When I eat, my blood sugar doesn’t really rise much and then drops quickly so stays around 80-90 all the time, maybe going up to 100 when I eat. I am in a chronically stressful abusive marriage. I have stayed way too long, and in process of leaving, but one reason is the toll it has taken on my health. Is this reversible?
Tonight my husband was mad yet again and left the house(he has stormed out countless times this week, leaving our home a very unpredictable unsafe place). I cooked dinner and was going to watch a movie with my kids because I had no idea when he would come home. When he did come home, he had something to talk about so I said let’s not talk in front of the kids. He needed to tell me about his emotions, which quite honestly he doesn’t listen to a word I say so I didn’t feel like listening to him for an hour so I asked what he really needed to communicate. We walked back in and he called me out in front of the kids and said he knew I had met with a divorce attorney and did I want to tell the kids that? He then told them I am pure evil and they started crying saying that wasn’t true. They asked him how he knew I talked to an attorney and he said “it is what it is”, would t answer the question, and finally admitted he looked through the cell phone records. My teen daughter feels very unsettled because she says we have no privacy and he is monitoring everything. He kind of dig his own grave trying to make me into a bad person when I have been telling him for awhile we need to do something after 6 failed couples therapists, one making us have a safety plan due to abuse, constant conflict and literally neglecting our kids because his feelings are more important and we would have to talk for hours about them, but never about mine or the kids. How does someone who “loves me so much” act like this when they don’t get their way? I feel like the true colors must come out in this process. It’s a process I don’t want to go through, but also I feel a necessary one for myself and my children’s sake.