u/Petrychorr

If I'm with a partner and we're having sweet snuggles or just cuddling (usually nude) my hand tends to gravitate to her lower abdomen. I just love resting my hand there (for several reasons 👀). But recently I had come to the realization that each of the partners I've had in my life had different "comfort" places they liked resting their hands. Some on my chest/breasts, some on my tummy, some in between my legs, some on my thigh...

So I got to thinking: Everyone probably has their own "comfort" spot where their hands gravitate towards.

So... Where do *yours* go?

Is it a spooky ghöst in the studio? One of Jay's "weird pervert films?" Is it Rich? What could it be??

For some context, I am a trans lesbian who's been on HRT for nearly 3 years.

I spent most of my life, 38 years, being so utterly on the fence about wanting kids that it was a constant struggle with the long term partners I had. So I never ended up getting married or having children.

Then, I came out and started HRT. I knew almost right away that I really did want kids and I did want a spouse/coparent. Then I added prog to the mix and now I've got baby crazy on a regular basis. I've been like this for a couple of years now.

I could sit here and talk about how "I know it's not too late" and "age isn't everything" but those mantras really don't help me when I'm as down as I am right now. I went to the beach today and while I saw tons of gorgeous women (which already triggered my dysphoria a bit), there was also a big family gathering happening and there were a bunch of kids running around playing.

I almost cried a couple of times. I had to contain myself before I made an embarrassing scene about my inability to both bear and give children. I had chosen not to save any genetic material before starting HRT, being so certain that I'd be alright with going off of it later in order to start sperm production again. But now that I'm seriously considering it... I don't want to take the risks of letting testosterone take over my body again. I like how I am now. I don't want anything to change and I think I'm ready to accept that I maybe made a mistake here. I understand that I'm not entirely sterile and that an opportunity to have biological kids might still be on the table... But this change in my paradigm has been... Distressing.

At this point I'm probably looking at adoption or being a step-parent. Neither of these options are bad, to be clear. I'd still be elated to be someone's parent. It's just kinda... I dunno... Crushing? That I made a decision back at the start when I thought I knew what I'd be alright with. I don't think I made the wrong decision, but I do wish I'd more seriously considered saving sperm before starting HRT. I was given plenty of opportunities to do so and I took none of them. I guess these things just happen. 🤷‍♀️

I'm really in my feelings right now. I'm extremely sad and looking for someone to talk to about all this, but unfortunately I don't know many late-in-life trans women in my situation. Im really sad and I don't know what to do to help alleviate this level of dysphoria, especially when it gets mixed in with my bottom dysphoria and phantom vagina/uterus. It's driving me crazy.

Is this an "Ice Cream and bad TV" treatment, or a "here's a book on the subject" treatment, or maybe just a "journal about it and get your feelings out" kind of thing? I'd love to hear from y'all.

ETA: This already got downvoted and I don't know why... Kind of upsetting, =/

To clarify: I have been on HRT for 3 ish years now. I have identified as a switch my entire life but have constantly been put in the position of top (forever DMs sound off). Recently I have been really trying to get my partners to let me bottom a bit more but they just... Won't. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of by people who "lean submissive" but swear they can top and switch as well. They never do and they never can. I always inevitably end up as the top. It's exhausting. I know women tend to (overall) be more submissive (thanks comphet) but this is getting ridiculous.

(When you're a switch in a top shortage, you're a top. Ugh.)

Now don't get me wrong. When I'm in the mood for it I *love* to top. But when you have to be pushed to top over and over and over again it *really* ruins the joy of filling that role. Is it too much to ask to be pampered and treated like a goddess from time to time? Is it really so terrible to want to be a bit subby and be on the receiving end of things for once?

I do sleep primarily with cis women and maybe that's contributing to my issue, but so many of the trans women I've met IRL and online are so unbelievably submissive that it's almost an immediate turn off. So I end up topping. Again. And at this point I feel like if I told a partner I'd want to be submissive/bottom for a while that it would make us incompatible from the get go. To the point I've just decided to remain a switch "just in case" I meet someone who's okay with topping.

I'm tired, girls.

I think this is the expansion that's finally gotten me to break out of my stupid habit of making 4x16/24 rooms. Not only that, it's gotten me to completely rethink how I address traveling for duplicants. On top of that, it's also finally gotten me out of my hesitation and stigma against liquid airlocks (yes, I know they're approved by Klei).

How do you change your hallways from floor tiles to waterways?

What about water management? Creating one big space for all your salt water seems insanely inefficient, plus then the dupes have to swim further and further down as the water recedes to the bottom of the map the further you dig down! And I hope you like making those tidal energy generators because you're gonna need all the power you can get for desalinization.

Ranching has always been very good/mandatory but it's even more important on the water maps now! Especially if you have mineral poor or food shortages.

And forget algae dependence. You're using electrolyzers as early as possible and you're going to like it.

Food is an absolute nightmare for me so far. The Sodium sticks and Lettuce are so awful, even with hydroponics. I got saved with some pikeberries from the portal on one colony.

And where the hell is all my natgas!?

So yeah overall this is probably my favorite expansion, even moreso than spaced out. I think I stopped playing the small asteroid spaced out game mode some time ago in favor for the big sprawling anthill colonies.

Will the Aquatic DLC have its music tracks added to the soundtrack? The new music is phenomenal!

I'm sure someone will guess it pretty quickly, but just in case here's two hints:

- PC game

- Released in the past 10 years

And one spoilered hint:

- >! Just kidding. :) !<

ETA: Actual spoilered hints:

- >! The main villain isn't revealed until the last few levels, and you wouldn't even know about that if you didn't keep up with the diary... !<

6 hours later! Well, here I was worried it'd get guessed right off the bat.

- >! Our protagonist is a woman who has a past that's... Well, traumatic would be putting it mildly. !<

Well I've got to head to bed for now, here's one more clue until the morning! I'm pretty sure someone will guess it with this one.

- >! If it wasn't for escapism, you'd have been dead a long time ago. !<

Briefly woke up, but I'm still shocked no one has gotten it yet!!

- >! While escapism the defining theme of this game, it's completely justified based on the aforementioned trauma of our protagonist. The only person who's trying to help is the one writing the diary, but he is desperately trying to fix you. !<

- >! It turns out, maybe you were the villain all along. !<

Okay, last ones for a while. I'm gonna have to give more obvious hints soon!

- >! The story of this game is technically secondary to the gameplay itself, enough so that it's entirely possible to miss it altogether. !<

- >! Intermissions between gameplay are more terrifying than the actual gameplay itself, relying a lot on the "nothing is scarier" trope. It's also the only time you'll see the creepy girl, who is clearly stalking you. !<

I'm gonna give this post another half day or so before I reveal the answer. Y'all have been trying really hard though!

Writing this with a grimace as I've realized the past few days I've been extremely irritable and my libido has skyrocketed. Oh, and chocolate. Affirming, but goddamn is this exhausting. 😩

I didn't even recognize the symptoms at first this time, but I did start recognizing some about 8 months ago when a friend of mine pointed out repeat symptoms from the prior month. I've been on HRT for almost 3 years now, so I guess it was about time. I have noticed over the past several years that the acceptance of trans women having period-like symptoms has actually been regarded as almost common.

So uh. Yay? I guess? 😂

Holy smokes is it so good. I feel like a couple faction towns could be a bit catchier, but so far I've found most of the music to be *really* good. My two favorite tracks so far have been the temple town and one of the battle music tracks (#3, specifically). I've caught myself humming the music throughout my day!

Hi all! I recently got an imperial knight dominus to accompany my sisters army and I'm really looking forward to putting it on the field!

However, I'm choosing to use the Castellan build for it. It's a long range weapons platform that's great at eliminating hard targets, but its melee capabilities are... Well, pretty pathetic. So, I'm thinking of what squads I can use to help protect it from melee assault charges and deep strikes. What do you think? Sacresants with a hospitaller? Celestine with Zephyrim? Repentia (my current choice)?

I've been trying various rush starting strats for the different factions (capitol/treasury, tier 7 critters, law, etc) and seem to be settling on a "mixed" approach. A little bit of income, plus one upgraded tier of critter, plus (potentially) a mage guild. In Homm3, I'd typically run capitol first week just to maximize income, but with how many resources there seem to be on the map, I just forgo the XP from chests to get gold instead.

What factions and starting strats have you been leaning into?

I feel awkward and nervous asking this question, especially as a trans lesbian.

I know it's not particularly uncommon to fantasize about people you find attractive. For me, if I see someone even remotely attractive I can't help but wonder what they'd look like naked. Sometimes it feels really intrusive. Sometimes it feels gross and "wrong" or like there's some kind of unspoken rule I'm violating. But between gender/body envy and sexual attraction... It's really hard to quiet my mind to these thoughts.

For the record, I know this is "normal" in the sense that it's totally fine to have these kinds of thoughts. I also know that it's not inherently objectifying to think like this (these people are still women and are more than just their bodies, etc) and that visual attraction is often male-coded but is gender neutral.

If you're someone like me: How can I calm my mind to these kinds of thoughts? Do I, instead, just roll with it? What are some things I can do to stop constantly imagining stranger's bodies like this?