u/PkmnTrainerEbs

Diagnosed EDS I think four or five years ago

Went in today to have a cyst removed on my finger, after they did an x-ray they basically said, whoops this is more complex, we need to book you for an ultrasound in a few weeks then we can remove the cyst. Also you have osteoarthritis 🫪

Listen, I get a lot of joint pain, I figured it was just a part of eds and dealt with it. Now I'm a 28 year old woman with arthritis? I've been having pains just like this for yeeaarrss across many of my joints and docs always put it down to growing pain or eds, scoliosis or hypermobility. If it weren't for the cyst I probably wouldn't have known for a good few years I'd bet

My mum has osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis and she's totally disabled by it, she wasn't diagnosed until her thirties though. I guess I'm gonna need checking for that now too 😖 Still pretty raw about this with my future so sorry if I sound a bit doom and gloom

How many other people here got their EDS diagnosis followed by early onset osteoarthritis or vice versa? Is rheumatoid arthritis also common with EDS?

I'm F 28, had an appointment to remove a cyst in my middle finger today, upon doing x-rays I was told they can't do it until they take an ultrasound because I have osteoarthritis 🫩

I've had a lot of pain in my joints the last few years, the same kind I've been having in my finger with the cyst. I thought the pain in the finger was because of the cyst but apparently it's the osteo. I also have EDS and put a lot of my joint pain down to that.

Now I don't know if the joint pain across my body is eds or osteoarthritis. My mum has osteo and rheumatoid arthritis, she was diagnosed in her thirties and since then it's slowed her down a lot, she went from doing fairly active physical jobs to being almost completely disabled. I have to do a lot of things requiring dexterity for her since her hands are often really swollen and she can't bend her fingers.

I just feel like crying, I'm 28 but already been having this pain for years. Do I need to get tested for rheumatoid arthritis too now? What are the chances I'll inherit all these conditions from my disabled parents. (Mum rheumo, osteo, asthma, IBS. Dad Parkinson's, Crohn's, asthma among many others). I already have really severe asthma and allergies, IBS, eczema, scoliosis, autism, eczema and now osteoarthritis.

It's super stressful too because I've been working at a chain bakery for about a month now, it's physical and I'm enjoying it but I have a lot of pain after my shifts, I'd already booked time off because I thought I'd have stitches but now I'm gonna have to book it off in a few more weeks when they do the scan and can actually remove the cyst.

It honestly isn't fair, I've been really trying to turn my life around and make a big difference to my life and this feels like a life sentence

Been working there for about a month now, and this week especially I keep getting like, an almost whiff specifically of the coffee and the bacon that's kept under heat lamps for breakfast rolls- if you know you know. It's like how if you walk past someone having a cigarette then hours later it feels like the smells stuck in your nose

The coffee doesn't bother me, a little surprising since I keep craving it and I'm not a coffee drinker (addictive?) But the bacon one is really frustrating since I hate the smell and I'm a vegetarian 😭

I have IBS, mostly with constipation, and have suffered with hemerrhoids and fissures for a long time, now they've healed I know I have at least one skin tag but my perineum, the part between my anus and vagina I can't really tell. It's more like I wanna say a speed bump of extra skin rather than a true flap of skin like the one above my anus. It kind of stretches from my anus to my perineum, and it's soft like the skin tag 🙈 I don't really get hemerrhoids anymore (hallelujah) since I switched to a vegetarian diet and eat more fiber

It's more difficult to keep clean since they both partly cover my anus until I bear down, and I get really swollen around my bum whenever I'm on my period, particularly the perineum. It gets really irritated and even using cups rather than pads doesn't seem to help but I guess that's another issue. I think it's a mix of moisture/friction/general hormonal swelling- baby powder doesn't seem to help either. It feels like I've genuinely been rubbed raw even if I'm careful about friction, it just happens anyway and can make it hard to sit down cause it's really painful

I'm in the UK so what can I do about it, do I have to go private to get them removed? Any advice on the swelling during my period? Could it all be related?

It's my third week working at Greggs, did eight hours last week and I'm supposed to be also getting another two hours worth of pay because they forgot to pay me for my induction. I haven't had a payslip generated yet. My manager is off due to personal reasons until Monday and I really really don't want to bother her while she's dealing with very personal things, she's lovely btw and really helpful but I'm not sure who to contact in her absence.

Paid weekly on Thursdays. Does it sometimes come through quite late in the day?

Honestly it's really depressing.

I'm F28 and have disabilities that affect how much I can work. I'm finally in a really good spot mentally and physically right now, started a new job that I'm really enjoying, Greggs! It's only 8hours pw @12.91. I'm hoping to bump up my hours or possibly go for a shift manager position once I get more experience there, and I currently also get universal credit which around 558 pm

But even at 25 hours pw @13.80 as a shift manager would only be around £17940 plus I've worked out my universal credit would then drop to £1901.4 per year for a grand total of £19847.4 per year before tax.

I've currently just started saving in the last month (I'm autistic and didn't fully grasp the gravity of having savings, I've pretty much just been floating through life up until now which is both embarrassing and infuriating now that I'm getting my act together) so I've only got about £350 between a help to save account, a high interest savings pot @7.1% and a moneybox LISA. Now that I've started my new job I'm planning on saving the bulk of my wages, prioritising the help to save account so I can get the max bonus which I'll then chuck into my LISA for the added 25% gov bonus.

Is there literally any way from here I'll be able to afford to independently buy my own home within say, the next ten years? I want to avoid renting, but I'm also desperate to move out and have my own place, is it all a pipe dream?

Got an email today that let me know my credit score changed, it was 937 now down to 884.

I paid the stupid subscription fee to get a better look at what's happened, but there's zero information about who did this hard search or when. It goes from "one hard search" then I click on it and it says no hard searches. Odd. And annoying considering I just paid 15.99 to be able to access it.

I don't have any credit cards and haven't applied for anything, in the last couple of months I've opened a couple of different savings accounts, one with zopa, one with Halifax, I also opened a money box LISA and last night opened a government funded help to save account, from what I can tell none of these should have done a hard search. No debts, no missed payments so nothing should have changed

Where do I take this from here?

I invited my crush it on a date via text, she picked out a restaurant I'd never been to before, kinda fancy but more like an overpriced Alice in wonderland themed tea shop with cake and scones and stuff. I'm super excited bc I've had a crush on her for a few years, make sure I'm dressed to the nines, makeup, got my hair done at a salon, I really put an effort in.

I walk to the place which is inside a mall and my family are at a pub I think at a celebration or watching football of something a few stores down and I wave to them. I head to my date and she's sat at a table for six, when I greet her she acts, not disinterested but basic, one word answers, really boring with nothing to build on and doesn't ask questions back. She's also incredibly blunt and off with the servers 🫩 I'm kind of resigning myself to my fate that this is gonna be a shit date, I'll scarf some food, make an excuse and leave early. 

Then her friends start arriving? What? I didn't know she'd invited other people to a first date. She's excited and animated with her friends and I'm sat there like a little lost duck. I'd ordered a starter, and excuse myself for a couple of minutes and go to where my family is and I'm like, dude this date sucks. Basically just to go complain and let them know I'm gonna leave early probably and hang out with them instead so don't leave without me. 

I make my way back to the food place and it is suddenly packed, all the other tables are full. I head back to our table and my granddad's sat in the seat next to mine, and I'm like, "grandad!?" He explains he's hungry and there weren't any other seats. I'm frustrated and embarrassed at how this date is turning. My date looks pissed. 

They'd all already ordered and received their food without me, my food looks picked through and gets taken away, grandads chowing down on a plate. No one's talking and her friends are giving each other looks. They finally start talking again to complain about the food, it's bad, there's something wrong with this blah blah, so they leave it pretty much untouched. I don't order more because the menus have been taken away and I don't wanna be the last one eating in this hellscape. My grandad is happily trying to make conversation and my date turns to me and whispers in my ear "can you tell him to stop leaning on the table, he's massive!" With this mean sparkle in her eye. I'm am so absolutely flabbergasted I can't even think of what to say, I just kind of stare at her dumbfounded.

Now my granddad's a big guy, over six foot, built like an aussie version of a brick shithouse, booming voice and also one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. I'm relieved no one heard her, I just wanna get the hell out of there but I'm not about to leave my grandad alone with these people so I'm waiting for him to finish eating. 

Time comes to pay the bill and my date looks at me expectantly.. I'm like.. huh? She tells me no one brought any money to pay 🫪 I do not have the cash to pay for six people's worth of barely touched food and drinks, I wasn't prepared to be feeding a GROUP of people. I'm panicking and no one else seems bothered because they've placed the responsibility on me, when my grandad, the sweet man he is, offers to pay. I am so grateful and apologetic and I'm saying like, thank you so much, I'll pay you back asap, I'm so grateful etc etc. The women at the table are silent, they really don't give a fuck. So grandad pays, I'm getting ready to get the fuck outta here and never speak to these people again when my date clears her throat and lets me know these people have no way of getting home. 

These four adult women who successfully made their way to this restaurant and eat on someone else's dime has zero way of figuring out their own way back to their homes. At this point something in me kind of flips, they've gone from women to children. Toddlers really, and they literally look like them too, with their little backpacks and carrying stuffed toys around with them. I'm angry, hurt, confused, embarrassed. I pull my date to the side and I'm like, I don't drive so. And she's like "well does he?" And points and my grandad. I'm visibly irrated and say, maybe if you ask him nicely and you guys don't live too far awa- she goes up to my grandad and sweetly asks him if he would be okay driving them back home since they have no way of getting back. My grandads surprised since this is the first time any of these people have spoken to him, agrees. And we're off.

Bear in mind it is like herding cats, because apparently it is these people, these toddlers, first fucking day on earth. They wander through the carpark, cry, act afraid of my grandad despite having been with him for the last couple of hours. Its a total fucking mess. We start ferrying them from one place to a other, a day care, a primary school, to their mothers expectant arms. I'm apologising to my grandad this whole time and no one else in the car speaks to us. This whole time my date has turned from how she looks in real life, long pretty hair, elegant aesthetics. Gradually into this short, squat, pinched face, frizzy haired goblin with a fried voice. She is rude to my grandad, entitled, comes across as extremely spoiled and honestly kind of a fascist. She only opens her mouth to make rude remarks, jokes at someone else's (my grandads) expense and says hurtful things about disabled people, poor people, old people, she stays away from race but there's a hint underlying like she's testing what she can say around us without us calling her out. She even has things to say about the LGBTQ+ community which, as we're both women, was fucking weird.

These people have long outstayed their welcome and this point and grandads getting visibly upset. My date is the last one to be dropped off and I'm relieved it's all over. I get out ready to tear her a new one and she just fucking goes inside, no thank you, no let's not do this again, no fuck you, nothing. And then I was so angry I woke up.