u/Policyhot1207_

I’ve been suffering with some brutal prenatal depression I’m currently 22 weeks pregnant with our daughter and this is my second pregnancy.

Today was one of those days, I’m trying to snap out of my depression and I’m realizing my MIL literally has hijaked everything in terms of planning for my daughter. She planned my baby shower and when I look at who she sent invitations out too she invited none of my family & friends just my mom, she created registry on my behalf and literally put together her wishlist practically and I already had registry put together but I haven’t made it public yet. She also sent my husband 3 options I need to choose from with how we should decorate the nursery and I genuinely hate the options and had idea I wanted to do myself.

Now she’s telling me to have an at home birth and I genuinely am scared to do that. Especially since it would be VBAC and my doctor is already saying I’m high risk. me and my husband’s house we’re already 1hr away from the nearest fully equipped hospital. My MIL did an at home birth with my husband and his siblings and they think I should follow suit and my husband agrees with her on that. So I feel so sad and alone and I’m starting to feel like a surrogate because no one is listening to my input and I knows it’s my fault because I’ve been depressed and started to like ignore my pregnancy so they could of taken over for that reason. But to not have a say in my birth plan or baby shower doesn’t seem fair to me and it’s hurting my feelings honestly,

I’m half black and half white my son’s dad is fully white. So basic chemistry he’s mostly white and he looks white lol.

I want to preface and say I think my son is perfect and I wouldn’t change anything about him. What I do wish would change is how people give me a hard time about being his mother. I’m constantly being mistaken as his nanny/ sitter or my son being fetishized that he’s gonna go far in athletics and be the next Patrick mahomes. I try to not let it get to me because I think most people are genuinely being harmless about it so I try not to trip but it genuinely bothers me.

But today took the cake, we went to a splash pad and this older woman and she was with a larger group. She could be in her late 50s or 60s but she comes up to me and ask “ omg are you Aiden’s sitter” my son is not named Aiden nor do I know an Aiden, so I told her no he’s my son. Thinking it would end the conversation. She continues to tell me “oh I’m a family friend you don’t need to be over protective” and I told her again no he’s my son. She genuinely starts getting frustrated with me and thinks that I’m lying for some reason. Then she pauses and tries to grab my son and say she doesn’t trust me and that I couldn’t be his mother. I picked up my son and just try to get away from her and I started yelling because she’s trying to take my kid from my arms. One her family member’s rushed over and they immediately started apologizing to me and told me my son looks like a kid in their family.

I’m pregnant so I’m a bit more emotional so I started crying. Because the situation caught me off guard and there was literally bystanders that recorded and sent me the video and my fiancé is furious and wants to blast her because she called me slur with a hard R, I didn’t hear it in the moment. But I’m really sad and still shaking about it and I’m wondering if it would be overreacting if I did post the video?

Today where I live we reached our first 100F day this summer and I’m beat omg and I’m only 20 weeks and that makes me want to cry 😭. I’m already showing faster then my previous pregnancy like I look 25 weeks…My A/C in my house was not cutting it and my fiance bought me a portable AC to like roll around the house 😂 and in a few hours we’re driving to his family’s beach house and I’m genuinely thinking about making him pack that AC but then again I’m not looking forward to going to the beach because it’s going to be Hot like this again throughout the week I genuinely feel bad because I want to play with my first baby at the beach but I have no idea how long I’m gonna last. How are you guys keeping up?

So I already have a son and his name is Milo ( pronounced My- Low. You would be shocked at the amount of people that want to call him mee-low 🫩) and my name also starts with a M and I did that unintentionally lol. He was named after a book character I was obsessed with.

But now that I’m having a girl I’m wondering do I stick with Ms or do I go a different route. I personally like the name Marisol. My fiancé thinks it’s old lady name but I always been a fan of older sounding names, I never cared to give my kids a unique name. But I’m genuinely need help do I stick with Ms since me and her brother and dad’s name start with M or do I give her something completely different? If not a M what’s a good name that could go along with her brother.

Last night me and my fiance had a date night and by the end of the night it usually ends in sex. However last night we had a deep conversation and expressed to him how I’m really anxious about the 2nd forensic interview with I believe a federal agent and apparently it’s gonna be very triggering then my previous interview and I’m not looking forward to it and have been emotional all week about it.

I don’t feel comfortable talking about what my ex is in trouble for or what he did to me and why I need to do a forensic interview. Every time I do open up about it no one ever believes me and causes me to spiral. But just know he’s me son’s bio dad and he was abusive.

But me and him had a long conversation about it and I ended up crying to him about it. We really connected and it lead to us making out then to us having sex. Idk what got into me but I just started crying while we’re in the middle of sex and once he realized I was crying he stopped and asked why was I crying and I told him I was just thinking about a lot and that he can keep going to get himself off. He didn’t feel right doing that and he just gets up and sits in the bathroom for like 20 minutes and he comes out and tells me he will sleep on the couch and that he needs space. I cried myself to sleep because I feel like I’m so broken and I can’t even have sex with fiance without getting triggered in someway.

This morning he made me breakfast still and kissed me still. However he still giving me the cold shoulder and not really want to have a conversation with me. I asked if we can talk about last night and he said no and that we should just forget about it. But it feels like he hasn’t forgotten about it and is holding a grudge. He left to go biking with his cousins and he told me he loved me before he left. But he hasn’t been texting to check in like he normally does. So idk what to even do and I want him to stop treating me like this…I think I want to initiate sex again tonight and see if that would help. But according to ChatGPT they don’t think it’s a wise idea and that I can be harming myself further so what do I do? I don’t want break up over this

Small update: I did try and initiate sex last night and he still wasn’t comfortable. But he was hurt because he felt like I was thinking about my ex during sex with him. He doesn’t want to break up. But he wants me to focus on the forensic interview then our sex life. I feel even more horrible though because this is like the first time he turned me down.

My son is turning 1 next week and I sent out invites to the kids in his nursery and to my family however drama has unfolded.

My grandparents have pretty much did a lot of the heavy lifting when it came to taking caring of me. My mom lost custody of me twice. 1st time was when I like 11-12 I finally had the courage to tell someone, that her boyfriend at the time was SAing me. I stayed with my grandparents at that time for like 5 months Then the second time was like a lot of factors, she relapsed in her addiction, I was pregnant with my son and she tried to get physical with me because she started bothering me while she was toxicated and wanted to touch my belly and stuff, the neighbors called the cops because they heard us fighting and the cops called CPS. They found my mom to be the aggressor in the situation plus she had drugs on hand. I was also kinda too young to be having a baby so she was seen as negligent by CPS, so that sent me back to my grandparents.

my grandma was at the birth of my son, my mom missed it. My grandparents taught me how to be a mom and helped me a lot with this transition. It’s ironic because my mom convinced me to keep my son and swore she would quit drugs and that it would bring us closer. So my mom has hurt me and my grandparents with her addiction. She’s sober now and we been slowly building our relationship back up however I’m still cautious when it comes to her.

Now with this birthday coming up I invited her to not like leave her out, but my grandparents are genuinely done with her. They don’t want a relationship with her and that they blame her for a lot of my mental health issues and what not. I don’t know what she did recently for them to be completely done with her, they don’t want to tell me because they don’t think I’m emotionally ready. So I don’t have a straight reason on why. But since they don’t want anything to do with her that goes for her coming to family events. So my grandparents are really firm about not wanting her there and the party. It’s held at their house so I can’t fight against it.

So I guess I’m asking how do I like uninvite my mom without hurting her or causing more drama? I’m siding with my grandparents because my son has more of a relationship with them and not really with my mom and the day is about him. I know I fucked up by inviting her but my god I’m so scared to tell her she can’t come so any tips would be appreciated. I don’t want to make her relapse…

My son is turning 1 next week and I sent out invites to the kids in his nursery and too family however drama has unfolded.

My grandparents have pretty much did a lot of the heavy lifting when it came to taking caring me. My mom lost custody of me twice. 1st time was when I finally had the courage to tell someone, that her boyfriend at the time was SAing me I was like 11-12ish and I stayed with them for like 5 months. Then the second time was like a lot of factors, she relapsed in her addiction, I was pregnant with my son and she tried to get physical with me because she started bothering me while she was toxicated and wanted to touch my belly and stuff being weird, the neighbors called the cops and the cops called CPS. They cops found my mom to be the aggressor in the situation plus she had drugs on hand. I was also kinda too young to be having a baby so she was seen as negligent by CPS.

my grandma saw me give birth, my mom missed it. My grandparents taught me how to be a mom and helped me a lot. It’s ironic because my mom convinced me to keep my son and swore she would quit and that it would bring us closer. So my mom has hurt me and my grandparents with her addiction. She’s sober now and we been slowly building our relationship back up however I’m still cautious when it comes to her.

Now with this birthday coming up I invited her to not like leave her out, but my grandparents are genuinely done with her. They don’t want a relationship with her and that they blame her for a lot of my mental health issues and what not. I don’t know what she did recently for them to be completely done with her, they don’t want to tell me because they don’t think I’m emotionally ready. So I don’t have a straight reason on why. But since they don’t want anything to do with her that goes for her coming to family events. So my grandparents are really firm about not wanting her there and the party is held at their house so I can’t fight against it.

So I guess I’m asking how do I like uninvite my mom without hurting her or causing more drama? I’m siding with my grandparents because my son has more of a relationship with them and not really with my mom and the day is about him. I know I fucked up by inviting her but my god I’m so scared to tell her she can’t come because I don’t want her to relapse..so any tips would be appreciated.

I hope not everyone is feeling judgmental today, but I’m going to be vulnerable here.

I’m pregnant and I have 11 month old. The baby I’m currently pregnant is from my fiancé. It was accident with my birth control and now I’m having another kid. My family were shocked by it and they now hate my fiance and are like angry with me rightfully so I’m taking accountability and I’m not expecting anyone to raise my kids. I already take care of my son by myself, they don’t babysit unless they offer but he comes with me to my job because I work in a daycare so he’s with me primarily. But it hasn’t really stopped the harsh comments from family friends of my grandparents that tell me I’m such a burden to them, that I ruined their retirement, my mom like screwed me up and that I’m broken. I felt like my grandparents were telling them this and were using them to tell me. So I decided to move out my grandparents house to live with my fiancé to just relieve them from me and it has somehow made shit worst.

Apparently my grandparents are devastated by my decision of me and my son moving out and in with my fiancé. Which I thought they would have been happy I was no longer there. But my brothers are telling me they’re very distraught and blaming themselves. Which again I thought I was helping them, so now I feel very bad. I don’t think they want me to come move back, I feel bad that son he keeps saying “ Che Che” which I didn’t know what it meant until I realized he’s looking for my grandma who is “Gi Gi” so I feel absolutely horrible that he is noticing her not being around.

I’m gonna see them tomorrow because they want to see my son and I don’t know if I just drop him off or do I say something. I know I’m wrong but I feel like the damage is like done…

I’m kinda confused how I’m the bad guy here when I’m doing what people told me I needed to do. But I recently moved out of my grandparents, well me and my son did and it has caused an issue I guess.

My grandparents are upset about it which is like blowing me. Because they genuinely made me feel like I’m a burden to them and so much work, so I thought by me leaving it would relieve that stress. But what I’m being told by my brothers and cousins they’re devastated about it. Where I moved too was in with my fiancé that’s like maybe an 1hr away. They already disliked my fiancé but this move cemented their feelings towards him and now hate him. One of my brothers told me they feel like me moving out was me telling them that I would rather live with someone they interpret is abusive than with them when it’s not the case. Then my other brother is telling me that me moving out will do worse for their health…which a lot of pressure.

I just don’t really understand what did I do wrong in the situation. If they’re not mad at the way that I moved out but just because I simply moved out. Why were they complaining so much about me and made it seem like I’m such a chore for them. Like having family and their friends tell me they think my mom screwed me up, that I’m a burden, that I ruined their retirement or that I’m broken. Like why would I stick around people that feel that way about me? So me leaving was me granting that wish so the fact I’m still given a hard time. I was pressured to make things work with my fiance and now that I have it’s an issue STILL. I’m exhausted emotionally I just want to be left alone and not feel like I’m being bullied.

I do love my grandparents, I left a long thank you note for them. I left the things they bought for me and my son, so I didn’t take anything that wasn’t mine. They requested to see my son tomorrow so I was gonna let them have him for a few hours, however they want to talk which I’m nervous about my fiancé thinks they’re going to manipulate me to move back, so now I’m not sure if I want to talk but I do want to stable relationship with them because son loves them.